Helpless When He Smiles
by f4life
Summary: Nina O'Neil moves to La Push and falls for her High School classmate Jacob Black. What happens when one day he finally notices her? Will they become friends or more? That's the question Nina asks herself everyday.
1. Obsessed

**A/N: Hi!!! I know it's like another JacobXOC from me but I wanted a high school kind of one, lol. So anyway I hope you all like the chapter and please review if you'd like more and of course you can tell me what you'd like to see happen or give me ideas. I always read your reviews :)**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight and it's character's. I'm just adding a few of my own characters and creating the plot.**

**Chapter 1: Obsessed**

"Mom!," I called as I ran out of my room, "Mom school starts in twenty minutes!,".

I ran into the bathroom and shut the door behind me panting. I began brushing my teeth quicker than usual and washing my face straight after. I was about two minutes in the bathroom when I exited and ran back down the hall into my room, grabbing the first shirt and pants that came into view.

The reason I was in such a rush was because it was my first day at La Push High. I had just moved here a week ago from Seattle. My father's job got transferred here so me, my little brother, my mom and dad all moved down here. Yes I was upset about leaving Seattle simply because I had lived there all my life but I spent enough time crying in my room to let it get at me now, besides I'm late for school!

"Honey I'll be waiting down in the car with your brother," mom informed as she poked her head into my room just as I was slipping on my white converse.

"Okay mom, be done in a sec," I muttered as I rushed to my dresser pulling out a band to tie my hair up with.

By the time I made it downstairs and into the car we had exactly eight minutes before class started, then the arguing began.

"Nina why didn't you set your alarm for seven am?," mom asked in annoyance as she sped down the streets of La Push.

I groaned, "I did but obviously the battery ran out,".

"Liar!," Joey, my little brother shouted at me.

"Joey," mom eyed him from the rearview mirror.

I rolled my eyes and muttered "for god sake".

"I heard that!," Joey shouted at me once again.

I gave him a dirty look. He was dressed in his new Batman shirt and wore a pair of old jeans and trainers. His brown curly hair needed a cut and it looked messy, probably didn't get the chance to fix it this morning. Then my eyes landed on his face and my eyes softened, he was the cutest brother ever, he had these big brown eyes, a button nose and big lips which we're in a pout as of now. He was so cute.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Weirdo," he asked giving me a funny look.

Wow thanks for the compliment Joey, "Just stop Joey,".

"Kids!," mom warned, "We're here, Come on hurry,".

The minute my feet hit the ground I started feeling nauseous. I hated first days, they we're so embarrassing. Especially if you we're the new girl and I wasn't exactly miss confident. I only had one friend back in Seattle, Michelle. She was also shy and I suppose that's how we became friends but here, at La Push High I had no idea what the students we're going to be like.

"Nina you look green," Joey commented, giving me a disgusted look as he stared at me through the car window.

"Oh shut up already, leave before you're late," I whined, giving him a wave of my hand. He rolled his eyes just as mom waved goodbye to me and sped off, dropping Joey off at his primary school. Thank god he's not at school with me, he'd drive me insane!

What if I really do look green and everyone laughs? Deep breaths Nina, deep breaths. Just think positive, you've got yourself to take care of first. Just make it to the office and then you can freak out all you like.

I enter the building and head over to the office. Ok now don't chicken out when you approach the lady. I push the door open and head over to the desk. A middle aged woman looks up at me and smiles. She had tan skin and jet black hair pulled up in a bun.

"Hello, you must be Nina O'Neil," she smiled, "Welcome to La Push High, I'm Mrs. Shepherd, here is your timetable and a map, enjoy your day".

"Thank you," I said politely before I headed down the hall, searching for my first class English which I was already late for since there was hardly anyone around. I guess that's a good thing though, no stares early in the morning.

It didn't take long to find the classroom since the school wasn't very big. Ok now you can freak out Nina, imagine all the students in the classroom staring at the new girl. Wow I feel great, I must be a dark green now.

I take a deep breath before placing my hand on the door handle. One, two, no I can't do it now, I'm not ready, just one more deep breath. Ok now I'm ready.

I pull down the handle and step in. Oh great I see a lot of heads cast upwards in my direction. I quickly look away and head towards the teacher. She didn't look to pleased I was late, well what was I to expect? All smiles.

"Hi eh… I… I'm Nina, N-Nina O'-," I stuttered out of nervousness but she interrupted.

"I know who you are Ms. O'Neil, take a seat down the far end of the classroom," she told me, obviously pissed that I was late.

I nodded, casting my eyes downwards and started to the end of the classroom, just before I made it to my seat, I heard her say, "Oh and Ms. O'Neil," I stopped and turned to look at her, "Next time don't be late,".

I sat down at the seat she reserved for me and took out my books. Once I was settled I noticed a few people glancing my way and I inwardly groaned. This is what makes me nervous and nauseous, I hate when people stare and unfortunately I haven't got the guts to stare back, I just stare down at my book, hoping they look away.

It was then that I noticed what I threw on me this morning. A white blouse along with faded blue jeans and a pair of converse. Wow Nina, great taste for the first day at school. I didn't even get the chance to apply eyeliner to my boring brown eyes and my brown hair? My hair was naturally wavy and I had no time to straighten it out before tying it up in a pony. Way to go Nina, should have changed your battery before you went to bed.

The first fifteen minutes of class was boring. I couldn't wait to finish school, just this year and I was done. Then the classroom door was pushed open by- my jaw dropped. This god walked into the classroom, standing at around 6'6 and had muscles to die for. The way his white t-shirt clung to his body just made him that more god-like and his worn jeans looked great on him showing off his big muscular legs. Hope I'm not drooling. Did I mention his silky black hair that hung over his shoulders? Oh my god. Hope he sits nearby so I can take a close look at those smoldering eyes and big lips.

"Morning Mrs. Cook," he said sleepily, his voice husky. What a dreamy voice…

"Your late Mr. Black, don't make a habit of this or you'll be having detention a lot more than you think," Mrs. Cook warned him.

He nodded and started down the classroom, until he sat down at his desk which- ok Nina breathe, was next to mine! But sadly he didn't even notice me, oh well that's the story of my life, I go unnoticed.

The rest of the class I spent glancing over at Black, I had no idea what his name was but whatever, he was still so gorgeous. He didn't seem to be paying that much attention to the lesson, just tapping his fingers off of the desk or glancing at his watch. I know how that feels but right now I didn't want the class to ever end, I just wanted to admire him.

The sudden sound of the bell ringing scared the life out of me, causing me to jump. I noticed a few girls snicker at me then bat their eyelids at Jacob, looking longingly at him but he didn't seem to notice, just stood up and made his way out of the classroom without any trouble. I suppose no one gets in the way of a 6'6 god.

I sighed once he left my sight and pulled out my timetable, Biology next. Great I just love that lesson, I thought sarcastically to myself.

I quickly gathered my things and headed to my next class. The staring began as I walked down the halls but I quickly just looked down at the floor, it was too embarrassing. I could already feel my cheeks heating up.

I made it to my next class on time and the teacher Mr. Fox seemed friendly and gestured to a seat in the center of the classroom.

I smiled shyly at everyone… well at the floor I guess and sat down, once again taking out my books. I heard a few whispers from the girls behind me and sighed, I can't wait for this week to be over never mind this day.

Suddenly that god Mr. Black popped into my mind and I sighed dreamily, I guess there's one good thing to La Push High but he'll never notice me, as usual but I suppose I can't blame him, he's too good for me.

The bell rang just after my thoughts and I started my boring lesson. The day seemed to go on like that, just going in and out of classes, sitting there listening, too bored to concentrate and when I was looking for my locker it took me about ten minutes. How dopey?

When it was finally time for lunch, my stomach started to clench and I felt sick again. Lunch! That means queuing up with students and more stares. I wish Michelle was here, I hate having no friends, I'll probably end up crying when I get home.

I walked humbly into the cafeteria and spotted an empty table down the end of the room beside a window. I sighed a sigh of relief and started towards it. Just before I reached it a group of girls, or should I say air heads, sat down at the table, flicking their hair and giggling. Oh great, guess I'll have to sit at the table situated in the corner of the room which was pretty dull.

I finally sat down at the dull table and took out a cupcake from my bag. I was way too shy to queue up today, maybe when I get used to the school I will… or not.

It was very boring so what do bored people like myself do? Watch people.

I watched people cut through the queue, earning glares from others. I watched a group of guys approach the 'air heads' that took my table and flirt with them. I watched a couple of boys and girls sit down at a table and study but I wouldn't call them nerds. Nerds was mean in my opinion, these people we're smart unlike me who's just average but I wish I was smart like them. They'll probably end up rich when they're older. Then my eyes drifted to two large guys, they reminded me of Mr. Black, I giggled at how cheesy I sounded calling him Mr. Black, anyway they reached a table which was right down the other end of the cafeteria, across from mine and oh my god, that hunk, that god, that Mr. Black was sitting there chatting with another two boys big like himself. Wow these guys really we're huge, I mean there we're five of them and they stood out. No one else was huge like them, it was abnormal but in a good way. So I kept my eyes there, just watching the god smile and talk was amazing, I guess he's my new obsession.

His hair was flawless, so silky, I just wanted to run my fingers through it. His lips, full and perfect. His eyes, dark and smoldering, I could get lost in them and his smile, oh his smile was amazing, the way his perfect white teeth contrasted against his russet skin was beautiful. He really was beautiful in every way.

Lunch soon ended and I had to go back to learning. Bleh, I wish school never existed! The next classes we're Math which I hate, Geography, Spanish which I suck at and finally Art which I adore. As I was painting away, I heard two girls next to me mention 'Black' so I tuned in the best I could.

"… So anyway I heard he was gone because of some girl but I'm not sure I mean I can't imagine _Jacob_ _Black_ running away because of a broken heart," they both giggled, "Because he looks so… strong and tough, never mind buff," they giggled again, "I heard Jasmine plans on asking him out, wonder what he'll say, you know those guys, I mean hot, yes but remember Paul last year? He freaked out when Christina asked him out-,".

They we're interrupted when our teacher Ms. Miller cleared her throat and crossed her arms in front of them, they both muttered sorry and she left. What a spoil sport! I laughed internally to myself, she was the teacher after all…

Thinking back to Jacob again, oh my god that's his name. He ran off because of a girl? How could anyone reject him? Maybe that's why he looked depressed this morning. Oh well, poor guy I guess. I'm sure he'll have a girlfriend soon though, all the girls look at him longingly, it must be obvious to him and whoever Jasmine is must be popular, he'll probably end up dating her.

Soon the bell rang and I sighed in relief, thank god. I can't wait to call Michelle, I miss her so much. We used to have four classes together last year and it was so much fun, we would laugh and talk and enjoy lunch but now? Now it sucked.

I sprinted out of the classroom, down the halls earning a few funny looks from people but right now I couldn't care less, I was going home! Hurray.

I made it outside in a record breaking twenty seconds and spotted my mom's car parked on the side of the road. I smiled when I saw her and ran over, hopping in the back.

"Hey mom, I'm so happy to see you, you have no idea," I said breathlessly, shutting the door.

She laughed, "I'm happy to see you too honey, so how was school?," she asked, starting the car and heading towards my brothers school.

"Bad, it was so depressing mom, I miss Michelle," I told her, sighing.

"Aw Nina you'll make friends, I promise," she reassured, turning a corner.

"Mom I won't, nobody even spoke to me," I whined.

She shook her head, "Nina first days are always like that, I'm sure Joey's was the same,".

Yeah we'll see about that.

"Hi mommy," Joey said happily, hopping into the seat next to me.

"Hey love, how was school?," she asked him, pulling out of the parking lot and heading towards home.

"It was so much fun mommy, I made friends with a boy called Harry and a boy called Dan and the teachers we're nice," he told her excitedly.

I rolled my eyes, knew it! Joey made friends and I didn't, great Nina, just great!

"So did you make friends?," Joey asked me smiling.

"No," I muttered.

"Oh," his face fell but then his smile quickly came back and he started rambling on about something he and his new friends played.

* * *

I spent two whole hours doing homework when I got home and by the time I was done mom called me down for dinner. I could smell mac and cheese when I made it downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Hi dad," I smiled, sitting down next to him at the table.

"Oh hi love, how was school?," he asked as he ate into his dinner.

"Bad, I missed Michelle," I muttered glumly as mom placed a bowl of mac and cheese in front of me.

"Well," he swallowed, "Why don't you give her a call?,".

Wow dad, what a great idea! I thought to myself sarcastically. Geez he could have been more sympathetic, that's dad for you.

"I will after dinner," I told him, rolling my eyes and starting on my food.

"I saw that," Joey commented, eyeing me.

Ugh someday I'm going to explode. That kid is so mean sometimes!

"Joey shut up and eat your dinner!," I hissed.

"Nina," mom warned.

Oh yeah they hate when I say 'shut up', "Sorry,".

"Don't let me hear you say that again,".

"Ok mom, I won't," I mutter. I feel like a fool, I mean I'm seventeen and I can't say shut up?

Dinner was boring, all we did was listen to Joey and dads day. Mom didn't work, she stayed at home to look after us which I appreciated but sometimes I'd like some space. When dinner was done, I helped mom by drying the dishes and tidying up the place before heading upstairs to give Michelle a call.

"Hey Nina! Oh my god I missed you so much!," Michelle shouted into the phone as a greeting.

"I missed you too Michelle, how was school?," I asked, my smile fading. Just hearing her voice made me sad, it reminded me of the life I had in Seattle.

"Oh well it was boring I guess but Fiona and Stacy kept me company," she told me. Fiona and Stacy we're two girls that lived on our road, they we're nice but we never hung out with them.

"That was nice of them…," I said, trailing off.

"Yeah it was I guess, so how about you, how was your first day?,".

"Terrible, it was so boring Michelle, I miss you so much! Nobody even spoke to me and I missed our talks Michelle, I missed joking and laughing, it was just so… miserable," my voice broke at the end and I started crying. I knew this was bound to happen, I was so miserable all day at school.

"Hey Nina, don't cry," Michelle told me.

"I c-can't help it," I sobbed, "It's s-so miserable, I was like a lunatic laughing to myself all day and watching this guy like a stalker,".

"Aw Nina, I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I can't… so who's the guy?,".

I laughed through my tears, "His name is Jacob and oh my god Nina if you saw him, he's a freaking god! He's so muscular and tall, I'm talking 6'6 tall and his face, it's… beautiful!," I gushed, a smile forming on my face.

She giggled, "I want to see pictures!,".

"You will Michelle, you have just got to see him!,".

Michelle and I chatted for about an hour. Giggling and joking. I kept on speaking about Jacob but once I put the phone down the smile on my face disappeared and I felt miserable once again.

I felt so lonely and depressed. I had no friends and no one to talk to. My father obviously couldn't care less whether I remained friendless for the rest of my school year, he was too busy with work to bother about me. My mother kept on insisting that I would make friends but I found it hard to believe and Joey? Joey was just Joey and I loved him no matter what.

* * *

That night as I lay in bed my mind drifted off to Jacob Black once again and I felt like a fool. Who was I to think of Jacob? He's so beautiful and I'm just normal, besides I know he would never look at me. It's just funny how I'm crushing on him after only seeing him two times. He really was beautiful though, he was a dream.

I had never laid eyes on a guy so beautiful.

* * *

The sudden sound of my alarm buzzing woke me up. Those damn alarms! How is it always when you have a nice dream you get woken up? I was dreaming about the lovely Jacob Black and this, I reached over and hit it, stopping the annoying sound, woke me up! Ugh I hate waking up early in the morning, let me tell you I am NOT a morning person!

"Nina get up!," mom ordered me, walking back out of my room. I hadn't even heard her enter my room, that shows how sleepy I was.

I groaned before slipping of bed and slumping my way over to the bathroom which was occupied by none other than Joey himself.

I banged on the door, "Joey, out!,".

"Go away," I heard him say behind the door.

"Joey I have to take a shower! Geez," I whined, slumping against the locked door.

"Wait Nina!," he shouted in annoyance. What the heck was he doing in there? I don't hear any water running.

"Joey what in the world are you doing in there? I hope you're not using dad's razor!," I warned. Yes I have caught him trying to shave himself, foolish kid.

"NINA I'M DOING A NUMBER TWO!," he screamed and with that I burst out laughing. It was so funny hearing him say that. I know I'm childish but that's who I am. Bet I won't be so smart when I reach school…

After about ten minutes he finally exited the bathroom, giving me a dirty look and I trudged in. Poo he stank! Ever thought of opening the window to let out the smell Joey? Guess not. I did the usual, took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and combed my hair. I decided I'd wear my white knee length skirt along with my pink shirt and white flats. I also decided to leave my hair down today, it didn't look too wavy thank god and I got the chance to apply eyeliner.

The drive to school was silent thank god, maybe Joey was embarrassed about his poop. Whatever he deserved it, always making fun of me in front of our parents. We unfortunately reached the school earlier this morning so there we're plenty of students outside. The stares! Oh no.

"Bye honey, you'll make friends today I promise," mom reassured me as I stepped out of the car.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah okay, bye mom,". I shut the door behind me, taking a deep breath before heading towards the school. Of course I hung my head out of shyness and walked past the students. I felt their stares but hadn't got the guts to stare back. God I hate school.

I picked up my pace as I entered the school and headed down the halls to find my locker. When I eventually found it and took my English book out I heard a familiar voice down the hall. I quickly closed my locker and glanced down the hall to find the owner of the husky voice, Jacob Black.

He was leaning against a locker three lockers down from mine talking to another big guy I recognized from yesterday at the cafeteria. They must be friends. His long black hair was tied back at the nape of his neck and he wore a black t-shirt and jeans. He looked so breathtaking as he chatted to his friend, his perfect lips moving as he spoke and his eyes piercing as he watched his friend speak but he looked… miserable. Maybe those girls we're right, maybe he was brokenhearted over some girl, some lucky girl.

"He's gorgeous right?," a girly voice spoke from beside me. I hadn't realized that I was staring at Jacob, my locker shut and all. How dorky, way to go Nina! Anyway who's voice was that?

I crooked my neck to the side and found a girl around my age standing beside me, staring at Jacob. She was around 5'5 which meant she was taller than me, I was only 5'1, great huh? Her long black hair was split at the side and traveled down past her shoulders until it reached her waist, talk about long hair. She wore a white dress and black leggings along with a pair of black flats. She broke her stare and smiled at me, dimples showing in her cheeks. She was really pretty, unlike me, I found myself pretty boring… wait, is that the first person that actually spoke to me in this school?

"Hey," I said politely. Please let her be nice, please let her be nice.

"Hi, you must be the new girl Nina right?," she asked, I nodded so she offered me her right hand to shake and I did, "Nice to meet you Nina, I'm Kara,".

"Hi Kara," I smiled shyly, letting go of her hand. Why do I always chicken out? Ugh.

She chuckled at my shyness, "You know I won't bite,".

"Yeah sorry, I'm just… surprised a person decided to speak to me,".

She waved her hand at me, "Don't mind them, I was absent yesterday so…,".

I nodded in understanding, smiling, "So are you a senior?,". please let her be, I need a friend!

"Yeah I am, thank god," she laughed.

I joined her, "Yeah tell me about it,".

"So you checking out Jacob Black over there?," she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

No I cannot tell her I like him, I barely know her! What if she tells?. "Huh no, I was just… spacing out,".

She rolled her eyes, "Oh please, it's okay to like him Nina, everyone does,".

I blushed, great Nina, just great, "Well he's cute…," I trailed off embarrassed.

She placed her hand on my shoulder just as the bell rang, "So what class have you got now?,".

"English with _Mrs._ _Cook_," I sighed. Man that teacher was mean.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Hate her, well you better not be late… so catch you later?,".

I smiled, "Yeah, I mean sure of course,". Oh my god I gained a friend today! Well an almost Friend.

"Ok see ya Nina, later," she said then ran off to her next class as did I, don't need to get myself on Mrs. Cooks bad side.

I arrived at class just on time, "Morning Mrs. Cook,".

She looked up at me from the papers she was marking, "Morning Ms. O'Neil,".

I smiled to myself as I headed down the end of the class and settled into my seat. Reason I smiled? There we're two: 1. Because I got to class on time, 2. No one was in class yet so I could smile without being noticed. I know sad right?

Students started filtering into the room and I suddenly remembered that Jacob sat next to me. Ok look normal Nina, no stalker attitude. I bent down to my bag that was placed on the floor next to my chair and pulled out my books. I noticed a pair of black Nike's make their way by my bag and I knew it was Jacob. I sat back up and placed my books on my desk, taking a sneak glance at the god next to me.

He sat there at his desk looking only what you could describe as bored. His face was as beautiful as it had been yesterday but he looked so tired. Maybe he partied a lot… The thought made a twinge of jealousy twinge inside of me, thinking of him with girls at parties, not a good idea Nina!

The bell rang just then for the lesson to start. Here we go…

"Alright class, we are going to start-,".

Just before she could finish her sentence a big guy I recognized as the guy speaking to Jacob at the lockers, winked at a girl sitting up front earning a giggle from her and then said in a very loud voice, "Morning Mrs. Cook, awesome day out today,".

Half of the class laughed quietly while he walked down to sit at the desk in front of Jacob. Just as he got settled Mrs. Cook warned rather loudly, her face fuming, "Embry Call, if you're late and interrupt my lesson tomorrow I'll be giving you detention, you hear me?,".

He coughed, obviously trying to keep from laughing, "Sure thing Mrs. Cook,".

She walked over to him, crossing her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow at him, "Where are your books Mr. Call?," she inquired.

He scratched his head, "Um… maybe they're in my locker?," he said innocently.

She started to tap her left foot, "Mr. Call where are your books?,".

"I forgot them Mrs. Cook sorry," he muttered in defeat.

She shook her head, "If this happens tomorrow-,".

"I'll get detention, I know, sorry,".

She nodded and took off back to her desk. Bleh that woman made me gag. She was so freaking mean. Yes I know he should have brought his books but she told Jacob he'd get detention for being late yesterday! Wait, am I defending Jacob? Oh Nina get a life.

"Ha ha dude, you fell into that one," Jacob whispered to Embry.

"Shut up Jake!," Embry hissed back.

I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. I guess this class had some entertainment…

The class was as boring as yesterday. I couldn't concentrate with Jacob sitting next to me, he made butterflies start in my stomach and my heart beat at a high rate. I couldn't help but glimpse at him every now and then but he never noticed, his mind always seemed to be somewhere else. Sometimes I'd find him wince as though he was remembering something painful and all I wanted to do was reach out and hold his hand, tell him everything would be alright but that was impossible.

Soon enough the class ended and I sighed, packing my bag and leaving the class for my next lesson. The day went by in a blur and before I knew it the bell that signaled lunch rang and I headed for the cafeteria.

"Hey Nina!," I heard Kara call from somewhere in the cafeteria, my eyes scanned the room until they landed on her waving at me at a table on her own, "Come sit with me!,".

I smiled and quickly made my way over to her, sitting down across from her, "Hey Kara, thanks for letting me sit here,".

She sighed, "Nina you don't have to thank me for everything, so how was your day?,".

So I started ranting on about my day, leaving out all the Jacob bits and just mostly expressing my hate for Mrs. Cook. She laughed and agreed that she wasn't exactly the best teacher here.

We we're seated in the middle of the cafeteria and luckily from my side of the table I had a good view of Jacob who was now just two tables down from ours. I wish I could sit with him…

"Who are you staring at?," Kara asked me, twisting in her seat.

Crap! Oh my god I can't believe I let her catch me stare at him. I hope she doesn't realize who it is. My thoughts we're answered when she twisted back around to face me with a knowing smile, "I think you've got a crush on Jacob Black and you just won't admit it,".

I sighed, might as well tell her if she's going to be my friend, "Well yeah, he's really cute, actually gorgeous…," I blushed.

She laughed, "I know but I wouldn't get my hopes up Nina, no offence but I heard he's hurting over some girl,".

I rolled my eyes, "Gosh Kara I know he'd never waste a second of his life on me, I'm just admiring,".

"I know, I know I'm just saying…,".

"Yeah, thanks anyway,".

"So Nina where did you move here from?," she asked.

So that's how our conversation started. I began telling her about Seattle, how much I loved it there and why we had to move. I told her about how much I missed my bestie Michelle and what my first day was like at La Push High. I was surprised at how comfortable I was with Kara but she seemed nice so I put it down to that. I found out she was seventeen and lived in La Push her whole life but similarly her best friend moved to England this year so she was a loner, just as I was. Every now and then I would glance over at Jacob as he sipped on his Coke but I noticed he never ate, unlike his friends who stuffed their faces with I don't know how many sandwiches. He looked miserable…

Before long the bell rang and I said goodbye to Kara, telling her I'd see her after school.

The next classes we're boring as usual except for Art but today those gossip girls had nothing to gossip about so it was a tad boring. Finally the last bell rang and I sprinted outside to spot my mom's car pulled up on the side path once again. I waved goodbye to Kara and sprinted over to moms car, hopping in and smiling.

"Mom you we're right! I made a friend today!,".

She laughed pulling out onto the driveway, "I told you honey, first days aren't always the best,".

I smiled turning to look out the window when I spotted… Jacob, Embry and some other big guys running down the path, pulling their shirts off in the process and sprinting into the woods. What the… What the hell we're they doing? But as weird as it was, I noticed my heart beating erratically in my chest. Jacob, I sighed dreamily.

* * *

The rest of the day was pretty boring. Joey and dad rambled on about their days again. I finished my homework in one hour thank god. I tried to call Michelle but I couldn't get through and so by the time it was ten o'clock I headed up to bed, tired out.

As I lay in bed, I smiled knowing that I had made a friend today and she was really nice. Then my mind drifted off to Jacob and I felt the butterflies begin in my stomach. Why was he running into the woods half naked? Yes his body was even more gorgeous shirtless but what was that all about? Oh enough Nina, he'll never like you, never mind look at you so who cares if he does what he does.

I'm just obsessing over him like the fool I am.

But that didn't stop me from fantasizing about him until I drifted off into a peaceful sleep, only dreaming of Jacob. Jacob Black.

**A/N: Hi, thanks a lot for reading! So I hope you enjoyed it and please review if you want more :)**


	2. Mesmerized

**A/N: I was really happy with the five reviews I got for this story, so a big thanks goes to: kikikiki, SweetSerendipity, NOelly, OniLilith and emogirl1790! Thank you all so much, you guys rock! Hope you all enjoy this.**

**Chapter 2: Mesmerized**

I was really surprised with how the rest of the week went. Kara and I had become really good friends, we were so alike but in a completely different way. For example I love white chocolate while she loves dark chocolate but we both love chocolate. I know that's a really dumb example but what can I say, I'm not the best learner and I definitely cannot teach. Anyway, I got to learn a lot about Kara in the past week and I also found a lot of her personality traits, she was: Generous, friendly, confident and musical. I'm sure there's much more to her but considering I only know her four days I need time.

So right now I'm getting ready for bed, I had a pretty nice weekend… just kidding! It was so damn boring. Saturday was a nightmare, it was unusually sunny for La Push and so my mom decides that I should take my annoying little brother Joey to First Beach for a 'picnic'. I mean please, get real mom, me + Joey = TROUBLE! Anyhow, we walked all the way to First Beach and the instant I found a spot to have our picnic at he complained, saying that this spot was ugly and boring and that we should have our picnic next to the other families on the beach. Alright so our spot was a little isolated from others but I was shy, as you all know and I didn't want to be near all those people.

Anyway my brother throws a tantrum just as I see Jacob's friend Embry Call and some other big dude make their way down the beach towards us. I was mortified! My face was the color of a tomato and so I kept shushing Joey but no he didn't listen and ran off towards the other end of the beach where all the families were. I groaned really loudly without noticing, picked up the picnic blanket and basket and just as I was about to stalk off I heard Embry Call and the other guy laughing at me. Oh and guess what I did? I ran home. I know, great idea, really good impression of myself in front of Jacob's friends, way to go Nina!

When I got home mom yelled at me for leaving Joey alone on the beach and she barged out of the house to get him. He got back with a few scratches on his leg's laughing, saying he fell when he chased some little boy he made friends with on the beach around. I was so mad! He just ran off and didn't give a care about his sister and came home laughing? Ugh. He also made me look bad.

Sunday was just bleh! It was raining in La Push once again, how unusual? So I ended up just staying in, watching TV. Kara phoned me, gushing about how her crush Nick Fox, was coming back to school on Sunday since he was abroad in… oh yeah, France. I'd actually like to visit Europe. Anyway that's pretty much all she talked about and so I just couldn't wait to see this model lookalike tomorrow! Bet Jacob's a lot better looking… I've got to stop with this Jacob obsession. I think the rumors are right, he is hurting over some girl, every time I watch him (3/4 of my time in school) he just looks so depressed. If he laughs, it doesn't reach his eyes, if he smiles, it's fake. Wonder who this girl is? Whoever she is, is a fool to hurt Jacob.

I yawned and slipped into bed, once again for the seventh night in a row, fantasizing about Jacob until I drifted off to sleep.

~*~

"Nina! Oh my god he's back," Kara squealed as I made it to my locker, where she was waiting for me. She ran over to me with her right hand placed over her heart, her face flushed and her eyes hazy. Geez it's like 7:50am… okay, okay I act like that when I see Jacob.

I blinked my eyes a couple of times, still sleepy, "That's eh great Kara, where is he?," I asked with zero enthusiasm in my voice, too tired to make the effort as I pulled open my locker and took out my books.

"I'm not sure but I bet he's by his locker, you wanna take a walk?," she asked excited as I slammed my locker shut and yawned.

"Sure, whatever, anything for… Nile?,".

"Nick!," she corrected as she hooked her arm in mine and dragged me down the halls of La push high. I wasn't going to get excited YET because Jacob usually got to school late, already getting three detentions in a row from Mrs. Cook. What a-. "There he is!," Kara interrupted my thoughts as she squealed into my ear, nodding ahead of us.

Well Kara was right, he was model like. Nick had straight black hair which was long, reaching just above his shoulders (not as long as Jacob!), he was about 6'0 with a nice muscular body (not as muscular as Jacob!) and had a nice face, big brown eyes, a pretty small nose and big lips, he also had good bone structure but he was a little boyish for my liking. He wore a black shirt with the top buttons open and dark jeans along with a pair of black converse. He obviously knows he's good looking but I was damn right, Jacob was way better!

"Hey Kara," I started. I hadn't noticed we were standing in the middle of the hall staring at Nick like stalkers.

"Yeah," she said dreamily as she never took her eyes off of him.

"I know just the song that fits Nick over there,".

She glanced over at me, smiling, "What is it?,".

"I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred," I laughed.

She smacked my arm playfully, rolling her eyes, "He doesn't need music, his voice is music to my ears,".

The bell rang just then, stopping me from replying to her comment, "Ok well I better go, see you later! Oh and Kara,". She eyed me questioningly, "You're drooling," I laughed before running off to English. The annoyed look on her face was priceless.

When I pushed open the door to English it was full, everyone was seated in their seats including Jacob. It was very quiet as everyone looked up at me and for the first time ever, Jacob Black looked up at me-

"Ms. O'Neil you're late," Mrs. Cook said with a stern look on her face, "Again,".

I walked very slowly to her with my head bowed, "Yeah I'm eh sorry about that Mrs. Cook," I apologized, my face the color of a tomato.

Just great when everyone in the classroom including Jacob (oh my god) looks at me, I'm at my worst state. I was so embarrassed and ashamed at myself for being late. Never mind that I left my wavy hair down today and I had no idea if it was messy or not from running to class. My clothes? What could I say about them, they were just the usual jeans, converse and white shirt and Mrs. Cook (gag) has to make a show of me.

"Look at me Nina!," she ordered and I did, "I could give you detention for being late twice but I'll give you another chance since you're an excellent student, now take your seat, I don't like to waste time,".

I nodded and made my way towards my desk, never looking up. I was mortified, especially in front of Jacob. I finally sat down in my seat, taking out my books and paid attention to that… ugh of a teacher. I didn't even take the chance to glimpse over at Jacob I was so embarrassed and just listened to Mrs. Cook ramble on about our lesson.

It was about twenty minutes throughout the lesson when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Don't tell me I'm in trouble again.

I turned my head to the right and almost fainted when I saw who had tapped me. It was, breathe Nina breathe, Jacob Black! He was leaning towards me since his desk was next to mine and was staring into my eyes with this… strange look. Not that I had a problem with it, it was nice… no it was wonderful. He looked really handsome today in a black t-shirt that was tight on his muscles, dark jeans that fit him nicely and a pair of black Nike's. Not to mention his beautiful long hair was down today, cascading over his broad shoulders. The look in his eyes was so intense but I won't flatter myself, he probably looks at everyone like that.

"Hey," he smiled a smile that for once reached his eyes, still staring into my eyes, "Have you um… got an extra pencil?,".

Oh my god! Jacob Black just asked me for an extra pencil and boy have I got one! Oh this has to be a dream, hell he even smiled at me!

I swallowed, "Yeah sure," before bending down to my bag to pull a pencil out of one of the side pockets. Ok Nina just hand it to the god.

I straightened myself back up and smiled shyly at him, handing him the pencil, "Thank you," he said, smiling at me once more before leaning back in his seat and focusing on his work.

I turned back around and also continued on my work but I was finding it awfully hard to. I mean Jacob just spoke to me, even if it wasn't as long as a sentence, it was enough to make me blush, make my heart beat faster and butterflies start in my stomach. This has got to be the best day at La Push High so far.

Unfortunately the bell rang and so the best hour of my life had passed but it was going to make a great memory. When I turned in my seat to reach for my bag which was placed on the floor next to me, I saw long muscular legs beside me. Oh my…

I looked up to see Jacob smiling down at me, "I just wanted to give you back your pencil," he said, placing it down on my desk, "Thanks,".

"N-n-no p-problem," I stuttered like the nervous wreck I am to him. He just smiled down at me with that intense look in his eyes again before turning around and walking off to his next class. could this day get any better? I don't think so.

* * *

The next classes were boring. They consisted of long boring lessons, homework and annoying teachers. I could barely concentrate with the constant replaying of Jacob in English asking and thanking me for a pencil. Who knew he could be so nice over a simple lending of a pencil?

I couldn't tell you how happy I was to hear the bell ring for lunch period. I needed, like literally needed to tell Kara that Jacob actually spoke to me!

I rushed out of class all the way to the cafeteria and ran over to Kara who was seated at our usual table. I was panting as I sat down in front of her, "Oh," breath, "My," breath, "God!," I managed to get out before Kara eyed me questionably.

"Oh my god what? What's wrong Nina?," she asked, a worried expression on her face.

I smiled weakly at her, my breathing evening out, "Jacob Black spoke to me!," I squealed at her.

Her eyes grew wide in shock, "No way! What did he say?," she asked before her eyes darted across the room behind me. Oh right, Nick was back, probably seated behind me.

"Well he asked me for a pencil, no wait he said hey then he asked for the pencil and he smiled, oh my god his smile Kara and oh his eyes were so beautiful close up and my, his voice was so manly and husky and-,".

"NINA! You're rambling now, he asked you for a pencil?," Kara interrupted, her attention on me again.

"Oh right, sorry. Well yes he asked me for a pencil and he was so nice about it, he even thanked me twice!," I said happily, smiling.

She chuckled, clapping, "Yay! He asked you for a pencil,".

I rolled my eyes, "Look I know it's not a big deal to you but it is to me Kara," I huffed as I crossed my arms across my chest. Geez she could have been nicer than that, I am her friend after all, aren't friends supposed to be happy for each other. I mean if Nick spoke to Kara I'd be happy for her.

"Hey," she said softly, placing her hand on my arm, "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that, it's just I'm so distracted with Nick you know,".

I nodded, unwrapping my arms from my chest as she removed her hand "You're forgiven, so Nick in any of your classes?," I asked her, my eyes scanning behind her at Jacobs table but he wasn't there yet.

"Oh my god yes! He was in my History class but he didn't notice me, as usual he noticed Felicity…," she trailed off, disappointed.

"Oh Kara he'll notice you someday," I reassured her, "And if he doesn't, there's plenty more fish in the sea," I finished with a smile. Kara was really pretty but just not popular. God how come if you're popular you're hot?

I vaguely heard Kara mutter a yeah but I was too focused on Jacob now. He just entered the cafeteria with Embry and the guy Embry was with on Saturday on each side of him. They walked through the cafeteria towards their table but it seemed as though they were looking for someone, especially Jacob. When they finally got seated Jacob sat in the same position as Kara so that meant he was facing me, oh bliss. He started chatting and looking to his left, seemingly scanning the line of students queuing up for they're lunch. Oh well, maybe it's a girl.

"Were you even listening to me?," Kara asked, annoyed.

"Um… kinda," I admitted sheepishly.

She rolled her eyes, "I was saying that I think we should go shopping this weekend down in Port Angeles,".

"Sure, why not," I said as I glanced over at Jacob again but this time wasn't like any other time, he was staring right back at me. My jaw dropped a little, shocked that he was staring back at me and my breath caught in my throat. He smiled at me and all I could do was stare. That was until I felt tugging on my arm.

"WHAT!," I hissed at Kara across the table. She looked taken aback by my tone of voice so I quickly apologized, "Sorry, just Jacob smiled at me,".

She chuckled, "Really? Oh come on Nina, be serious for a minute, no offence but the guy is suffering-,".

"Hey, um do you mind if I borrow your friend for a minute?," the manly, husky voice asked as he approached our table. I was practically frozen in my place now. This day could get better, this was pure heaven! Oh my god I need to remember to breathe.

The look on Kara's face was priceless as she stared dumbstruck at Jacob and nodded, unable to form words.

He smiled at me, "You coming?,". I nodded and slowly got up from my seat never breaking eye contact with him. He started walking and I followed slowly behind until he stopped and looked back at me, "What are you doing down there?," he chuckled, "Walk with me, I want to ask you something,".

I picked up my pace as he waited for me until we started walking again. I noticed a lot of girls giving me dirty looks, obviously jealous I was with Jacob. He held the door to the hall open for me and I walked through waiting for him to show me where we were going. He smiled at me and headed down the hall towards a locker, his locker and sat down, patting the floor beside him. I did as I was told and sat next to him. Oh my, I'm sitting next to Jacob!

"So," he started, looking down at me with that intense look, "I was just wondering whether we've got English homework, a project or a test coming up because I need some catching up to do, you know with being late and all," he finished with a breathtaking smile.

Jacob Black brought me all the way out to his locker to ask me about English? What if this is some kind of prank? He's popular and beautiful so maybe that group of popular girls dared him or something.

I suddenly felt miserable and hurt, my blood felt cold, "Is this some kind of prank?," I asked lowly, looking down at my feet.

"What!," he exclaimed, "No, why? Why would you think that?,".

I felt tears sting my eyes, "Because I'm shy and unpopular," I whispered.

"No," he said softly, I felt his hand under my chin tilting it up to look at him, a tear escaped from the corner of my eye, "No, this is in no way a prank, I would never do that to you," he told me, bringing up his other hand to wipe away my tear with his thumb, "Don't cry," he whispered.

It felt so lovely, so heavenly when he touched me. The feel of his hand under my chin was utter bliss, he was so unusually warm and when his thumb brushed across my cheek, wiping my tear away I almost sighed audibly. I believed him though, he wasn't lying, I could tell by the look in his eyes. Maybe I was just jumping to conclusions because I was so happy that he actually spoke to me.

"I believe you," I said as he let go of my chin, staring into his dazzling eyes, "So as to answer your question, no we haven't got homework surprisingly," I laughed, he joined, "But we have got a test next week on pages 154-158, oh and no projects,".

He smiled, "Okay great, thank you so much,". I nodded and started to get up but he held my arm, "Don't go yet, I want to ask you something else," he said seriously. I nodded and sat back down next to him. "So are you new here?," he asked.

"Yeah… w-w-well I've been here s-since last week but y-y-yes I'm new," I stuttered. Reason? He's asking about me, not school and it was just too unbelievable. Oh also I'm a dork.

"Oh," he said, looking down at his hands, thinking something through then looking back up at me, "I'm sorry, I just… haven't noticed you before, I sound like a jerk now,".

I chuckled, "You a jerk? No way, you're nicer than all of the guys I've met here,". Wait did I just say that out loud? Oh my god. I'm blushing like crazy now.

"Really?," he grinned, "That means a lot you know,". I looked up into his eyes and they were gazing down into mine. I sighed, he was so beautiful, wish a guy like him liked me. Yeah right Nina, as if. Jacob was chuckling at something I couldn't put my finger on… Damn did I just sigh out loud? Oh my god I need the bathroom, he can't see me all flushed like this.

I jumped up, "I eh… need to go," I told him quickly, brushing my jeans.

"Wait," he said jumping up to his full height, "Nina right? That's your name," he asked, standing in front of me.

I was face to face with his muscular chest. I'm going to faint anytime now, Jacob is getting too much for me. Nina he asked you a question! "Yeah," I nodded, "Nina," I never looked up at him because I was blushing like crazy.

"Hey," he said softly, tilting my face up once again with his hand, "Don't hide your face okay,". His gaze was so intense that I felt really nervous around him, too shy to stare back. And what was he implying by not hiding my face?

"Bye," I said shyly, turning around and running off like a fool to the bathroom. I heard him call 'see you later' after me once I pushed open the bathroom door and ran in.

Way to go Nina, way to go! Such a freaking idiot, imagine the most beautiful, mesmerizing boy-man spoke to me and was so very nice to me and I chickened out. My first and only chance to speak to him and I ruined it! You damn idiot Nina O'Neil.

* * *

I didn't get the chance to tell Kara what had happened since the bell rang when I was in the bathroom but once I left the building at home time, I felt someone's hand grab my arm and I knew it was her.

"Nina! What was that all about? What did he say? Oh my god Nina!," Kara fired questions at me but I just laughed, blushing. I filled her in on what happened and she freaked out when I told her I ran off to the bathroom. She told me that if I whined about never speaking to Jacob Black again, she had the right to slap me across the face. Lovely.

As I sat in my usual place next to the window as my mom drove us to collect Joey from school, I spotted Jacob, Embry and that other guy running like last time. I poked my head out the window, careful so they wouldn't see me and they all pulled their shirts over their heads again but only this time Jacob caught me.

Oops! I quickly pocked my head back inside and rolled up the window. Please don't let him ask me about it tomorrow, please!

Oh yeah, Jacob Black will never speak to me again. Remember Nina, you don't deserve him.


	3. Surprise

**A/N: Hey all! So I know I took forever to update this but I've been very busy with my other story that I decided to let this wait. However the other day I decided to update. I got a good bunch of reviews for this story so I'm hoping you all like this chapter. As always THANK YOU all so much for reviewing, that's what keeps the chapters coming so I really appreciate it.**

**Anyway on with the chapter.**

**Chapter 3: Surprise**

"Honey, come in here and say hello to Mrs. Clearwater," mom called from the living room.

I rolled my eyes as I licked the remains of my Ben and Jerry's cookie dough off my spoon. I never really understood why mom always had visitors. I mean we only just moved in and yet there's a stranger in our living room called… Mrs. Clearwater? The name sounds familiar but I'm one hundred point five percent positive I never met her before.

Not that I didn't want to say hello to the woman, I just wasn't really good around strangers. I always got all shy which gave off the wrong impression. They always seem to think I'm unfriendly but it's the complete opposite. I am friendly, just shy.

Not to mention I can't stop thinking about Jacob shirtless. Oh and the fact that he saw me gawking at him. I wasn't looking forward to school tomorrow. Why is that you have the whole week ahead of you when something crappy happens and yet when something good happens it's Friday? Ugh.

I threw the spoon into the sink, exited the kitchen and entered the living room. A middle aged, pleasant looking woman was sitting next to my mom on the couch. She smiled once I entered and I instantly felt my cheeks burn. Oh great.

"Hello dear, you must be Nina," the woman said, extending her hand out to me.

I nodded, taking her hand, "Yeah, Nina,".

She chuckled, "I'm Sue Clearwater, I live just down the road from you,".

I released her hand, "Oh, nice to meet you Sue,".

"Lovely to meet you too," she turned to my mom, "She looks just like you,".

So there I stood awkwardly as Sue asked my mother and I about Seattle, our family and friends there and how it felt to move to La Push. There was something different about this woman that I couldn't put my finger on. She had a certain look about her… perhaps I was just imagining things as usual.

I decided to leave the room once my mom and Sue started talking about dad. I couldn't understand how women could talk about such boring things, I mean dad? Please. He's just a father of two children, works for a company, he's middle aged and unsociable. Yep that's him. I love him but I never really built up a relationship with him. All he ever talks about is work.

"What the hell Joey?," I said once I reentered the kitchen.

So Joey decides to make himself bread and jam. He didn't use a knife and apply the jam properly onto the bread, no he used a fork instead creating a big mess on the kitchen counter. Not that I'm fussy about tidiness but mom is and guess who has to clean up when she can't? ME!

He stared at me innocently, "What?,".

I crossed my arms over my chest, "You know what, don't play innocent,".

He looked me up and down, "You're weird," he muttered before brushing past me.

"Joey," I hissed after him.

"I can't hear you," he called as I heard his footsteps go up the stairs.

I muttered a few unintelligible words under my breath as I grabbed a cloth and wiped up his mess.

Joey was such a brat. He was disrespectful, annoying, irritating, a liar and spoiled. He always got away with things because he was _young_ and my _baby brother_. I couldn't care less whether he was young OR my brother, I deserved respect.

Sue Clearwater said goodbye just as I was done cleaning and I gave her a small smile. I was sure she knew how shy I was by the way she spoke to me. And for a change it put me more at ease because unlike everyone else. Sue didn't take offence by my shyness. I liked that woman.

Once I heard the front door shut, I called my mom into the kitchen.

"Yes?," she asked as she entered.

"I want you to talk to Joey," I said, my voice firm and final.

"Why what did he do?,".

"What did he do? More like what did he do NOW? He freaking applied jam to a slice of bread with a fork, makes a big mess, then he just leaves it, not to mention a whole bunch of other stuff!,".

Mom cleared her throat, "Firstly, you don't use that tone with me Nina and secondly, he's you're little brother, what do you expect him to do?,".

I sighed, "Mom, where's the respect?,".

"Excuse me,".

"Where's the respect an older sister gets? Joey has been let away with so many things I don't even know where to start,".

"No he has not! You're father and I-,".

"Let him away with everything! You guys couldn't care less whether he torments me, all you two care about is yourselves! And I'm sick and tired of it!," I shouted before throwing the cloth into the sink and storming out of the room.

"You come back here young lady!," mom called but I ignored her. Instead, I ran up the stairs, into my room and slammed the door shut behind me, locking it.

I collapsed onto my bed and groaned.

My mom was so frustrating sometimes. She thought she had the perfect family, the perfect lifestyle and the perfect husband. She rarely ever faced reality, or did she but she didn't want to admit it's faults? Either way, she and dad seemed to think Joey was an angel when clearly he wasn't. He was nowhere near it.

Day after day he tormented me. Spoke the way he wanted to me, made fun of me and pulled pranks on me. And it hasn't just been recently, it's been for the last three years! It's apparent my parents don't care or he wouldn't still be like that.

Or maybe I'm just overreacting?

The thought of facing Jacob in school tomorrow is stressing me out. He knows that I know that he knows I saw him and I have no idea what I'm going to do… or say if he ever decides to talk to me again.

Firstly, what was he, Embry and that other guy doing, stripping as they ran into the woods. I mean we're talking WOODS here, not a park. Secondly, why on earth was I watching? Yeah, just great. It was obvious I was staring at his body.

His body… it was-

"Nina open your door this instant!," moms voice sounded from behind the bedroom door.

"Go away!," I shouted, burying my face in my pillow.

"Nina, open it now,".

"No!,".

"Nina," she warned.

"Mom I just want to be alone right now,".

Silence…

"Fine, but later we need to talk," she said before I heard her footsteps fade down the hallway.

I was definitely not looking forward to later.

* * *

I looked at myself in the mirror for the one hundredth time in the past hour. My hair was straightened and split to the side. My eyeliner and lip gloss looked fine. My cream, knee length dress looked cute except I wasn't too pleased with my shoes.

I preferred heels over flats any day and I had reason to. I was only 5'1 so by wearing flats, I remained short but with fancy heels, I looked way better. And right now, I forgot where I had packed my heels. So guess what I have to wear? My silver flats.

And finally, why was I dressed up?

It was around 6pm when dad got home, apparently mom told him everything so dad being the 'calm' person he is, suggested we all go to the local Diner, have dinner there and talk everything through.

At first I wasn't too keen on the idea. I was in a bad mood and just by looking at Joey or my mom, pissed me off. However, dad came up to my room and spoke to me in the kindest way ever that I gave in.

So here I am, spraying perfume onto my neck one last time before grabbing my black coat and heading down the stairs.

"Finally," mom said when I joined the 'happy family' in the hall.

Dad chuckled, "So we're all ready?,".

We all said yes at the same time before dad pulled the door open.

The car ride was awkward. Joey kept sneaking glances at me. Mom was in a mood. Dad was tired from working. And I was just miserable. Yes, the anger had faded away in me and I was just left feeling very miserable and lonely.

When dad finally pulled up outside the Diner, I almost sighed out loud. Talk about a long ride, that felt like it lasted a year.

The Diner was pretty nice and cozy looking. Dad suggested we sit at the empty booth down the end of the room. I saw Joey giving me a dirty look when I slipped in to sit next to the window. Why? Because he likes to sit by the window. Well tonight I didn't care, I wasn't letting him.

Mom and dad sat across from us, thankfully dad sat right across from me because if it had been mom, I wouldn't have been able to look up.

When our orders were placed and we were all settled in our places, dad broke the silence.

"So we all know why we're here, how about we let Nina speak first since it concerns her,".

I sighed, "It's about Joey,".

"And?,".

"And I'm sick and tired of his behavior, okay? I'm sick of it. It's driving me nuts and I think you guys need to do something about it,".

"Well, start off by telling us what he did,".

So I told him about the kitchen. Not that the kitchen was a big deal but it was ONE of the things Joey had done to piss me off. I then told him about everything. Joey calling me names, Joey speaking to me the way he wants and even the pranks. I was just so not in the mood of Joey today, he really got to me.

"Look-," dad was cut short when the waitress arrived with our food.

"So?," I said, once we all had our plates in front of us.

"What I was going to say was, why didn't you tell us about this before?,".

My jaw dropped, "I did but you never listened! And that's the proof, you don't even remember,".

"Nina maybe you should think about your mother and I for a sec. What if we had bigger problems in our life at that moment?,".

"Are you breaking up?," Joey asked suddenly.

Although he did piss me off, I tried to stifle a laugh at his question.

Mom chuckled, "No honey,".

"Anyway, I just want some respect. No Joey doesn't have to be a saint but I'd like him to leave me alone,".

"Fine," dad said, glancing over at mom.

Mom nodded, "Okay fine," she directed her attention to Joey, "Your father and I will have a word with you later,".

"What did….," Joey's voice faded away once I looked out the window.

My heart started thumping really loudly and butterflies assaulted my stomach. Jacob Black along with some other guy around the same height as him and equally as muscular, were making their way over to the Diner. The Diner I'm in!

As much as I would have loved to watch him, I felt the need to just hide and the only place I could hide was the ladies room.

"Excuse me, I need the bathroom," I said, already up out of my seat and stepping over Joey.

"Remember you're wearing a dress Nina," Joey called as I scurried to the bathroom just as Jacob and his friend entered.

I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment at the thought of Jacob overhearing what Joey had said. Joey was still a brat and since I was finally starting to think clearly for the first time today, I realized that Joey would always be a brat, my parents had let it go too far.

Once I entered the ladies, two teenage girls I recognized from school were reapplying their make up by the mirrors. I hung my head, allowing my long brown hair to hide my face from them as I quickly entered a cubicle.

When I had the door locked, I rested my forehead against it in relief.

This may have been the most stupid thing I have ever done in my life but right now it didn't matter. As long as I didn't have to face Jacob I was okay. But my thoughts were quickly interrupted by the chit chatter of the two girls from school.

"So do I look okay?," girl number one asked.

"Yeah, perfect. Do I?," girl number two asked.

"Hell yeah! Oh my god I'm just so excited, I mean Paul asked me out!," girl number one gushed.

The other one giggled excitedly, "Tell me about it, he's so hot! You're so lucky,".

"But hey, Rick is hot too,".

"Yeah but not as hot as Paul, can't believe we're having a double date,".

"Me neither. So…,".

"Stop giving me that look!," Girl number two chuckled.

"I know you've got the hots for Jacob," my heart skipped a beat, "Cynthia! But he's going through some kind of depression, like what the hell is that all about?,".

"Haven't you heard? He's completely over that stage, I heard he's all smiles now, besides I watch him,".

Girl number one chuckled, "You stalker. Well Cynthia, I'm sure he'll fall for you, all the other girls at school are ugly. Now let's get out of here before Paul leaves,".

And with that the two giggling girls left the bathroom. Little did they know that they completely ruined my night. I mean did I really have to know that 'Cynthia' whichever one that was, had a crush on my J-, I mean Jacob? I guess it serves me right for eavesdropping on their conversation. Oh and not to mention she called me ugly since I'm 'one' of the girls in school.

I decided I might as well leave the cubicle. I couldn't stay in here forever. And somehow the thought of Jacob depressed me. I no longer felt embarrassed over earlier today. So what if he saw me? so what if I liked him? Because in the end, I would never have him.

I guess I wasn't pretty enough for him or my personality was boring compared to his.

But who was I kidding? I still fancied him.

I rolled my eyes at my stupidity as I left the cubicle, looked over myself in the mirror and exited the bathroom. There was no point in hiding in there forever, my parents would be wondering and my mom would probably come in looking for me.

So without looking up, I made my way back over to my family as discreetly as I could. Once I was seated back by the window, my mom eyed me suspiciously.

"Are you alright honey?," she asked. My father looked a little uncomfortable, he probably thought I had gotten my period.

I nodded, "Yeah I'm fine," I looked down at everyone's empty plates, "Um… you guys finished already?,".

Everyone grunted their response so without looking up to see if Jacob was around, I quickly dug into my burger and fries.

As I ate, I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching me. I felt their eyes burning holes into me and finally I looked up.

The instant I looked up, my eyes met the eyes that I had been dreading to meet the whole day. No matter how beautiful and dark they were. No matter how soft and caring they were. They didn't ease my nerves.

I was staring into the eyes of Jacob Black.

He was sitting three booths down from us, facing me. He looked like he was in some sort of trance, just staring right at me. I put it down to daydreaming but then he gave me this small smile.

It felt like everything had disappeared. The sounds of voices, the people, everything in the Diner had just completely faded away and all I could see was Jacob. Our eyes locked onto each others, the once small smile on his face was now a big one, displaying his perfect set of white teeth that contrasted beautifully against his russet colored skin. His hair was long and flowing, cascading over his broad shoulders. Not to mention he looked very handsome in a black shirt with the top buttons open, displaying part of his muscular chest.

I was frozen in my place. It felt like I was in some sort of daze, just loosing myself in those dark eyes. I had never seen someone so beautiful. I noticed a tint of pink in his cheeks and wondered whether he was blushing. Because I knew I was.

And that's when I blinked, bringing myself back to reality as the voices and people all came back. I quickly broke eye contact with him and instead, looked out the window. I smiled to myself as I looked up at the full moon.

My heart was thumping so loud I wouldn't be surprised if my parents could hear it. My mind wasn't functioning properly and I couldn't believe that he just smiled at me. I knew it was friendly, probably because he spoke to me at school today and although I wished it meant something else, I was thrilled none the less.

Because what passed between us, definitely wasn't normal. It was special.

Not that I was ever going to tell Kara about it. She'd probably think I was insane.

I was so glad that he didn't seem to care whether I saw him taking his shirt off today. Not to mention I was delighted he was still being friendly unlike some stuck up teens at our school.

I looked over at my parents and caught mom frowning at my blush. I quickly diverted my attention to the window but noticed out of the corner of my eye that she had looked over her shoulder. Trying to find out what the cause for my blushing was. Once she spotted Jacob, she turned around. I glanced over at her. She gave me a little grin and cocked her eyebrow at me before I looked away from her in embarrassment. Taking a sip of my soda.

Oh great, now my mom knows.

After a couple of minutes passed, we all decided to leave and I was blushing even harder at the thought of passing by Jacobs booth.

And when I eventually did pass by his booth I kept my eyes on the floor until we made it outside. I knew I looked like a dork but whatever. I was way too embarrassed over what we shared only moments ago. It's not like Jacob was looking at me now anyway. He was probably enjoying his meal with his friend. It was that same guy who was with Embry at the beach that crappy day Joey had run off.

Not to mention I'd seen those two girls who had previously been in the ladies, sitting in a booth with two guys. One of them was very tall and muscular like Jacob, maybe he was Paul? Not that I cared or anything… but one of those girls had a crush on Jacob.

Whatever, everyone probably does.

* * *

"So Jacob smiled at you and you didn't smile back?," Kara asked incredulously.

I nodded.

"What is wrong with you!," she screeched, "The guy you're practically obsessed with smiled at you and you completely ignored him! That's crazy,".

We were seated at the usual table we sat at in the cafeteria. Jacob was absent for English today, I hadn't seen him or his friends or maybe he was just avoiding me? Nah, that was stupid. Why would he avoid me? It's not like I even mean anything to him.

"Look it was awkward okay? Mom, dad and Joey were there, not to mention my mom noticed me blushing,".

"Please! So what if your parents were there? Maybe if you had smiled he would have… I dunno, spoke to you in school today?," she said as she took a sip of her water.

I scratched the back of my neck, "Fine, I'm an idiot, a big one,".

She raised her bottle of water, "I have got to agree with you,".

I rolled my eyes, "He's not even in today,".

"Yeah, probably passed out on his couch after he banged some girl last night,".

"Kara! Gosh, Jacob is not like that!," I defended but images of him and that 'ladies room' girl flashed into my mind and I cringed. Hadn't seen her today either.

"Ahem, Jacob is of the male sex, and in my books they're all the same,".

I sighed, leaning back in my seat, "Maybe you're right… picture Nick and Felicity,".

"Okay now that was just harsh,".

I laughed. Kara had no problem in telling me Jacob had been sleeping with a girl last night (Please don't let it be true) but couldn't take it when I said the same about her crush and miss popular.

"Oh look," Kara pointed her head in the direction of some guy, "It's Mrs. Clearwater's son Seth,".

My jaw dropped, "No way! I would have never guessed,".

"Yup, he's really sweet actually but I dunno, he's gone freakishly tall and muscular like you're lover boy and co,".

I took a good look at him. He was loading a bunch of food onto his tray and looked completely out of place for some odd reason. Something about him reminded me of Jacob, especially when he turned around and smiled over at his friends which were sitting a couple tables down from us. They were also tall and muscular.

But as luck had it, I didn't go unnoticed.

He caught me staring at him and our eyes locked a moment. I noticed the awkwardness in his stare and he quickly broke eye contact before heading over to his friends. His smile replaced with a serious look.

I looked over at Kara who just shrugged before smiling mischievously.

She waved over at him and I felt my face flush with embarrassment, she was not doing what I thought she was.

"Seth, come over a sec," she called.

He looked uncomfortable but got up all the same.

"Kara what the hell!," I hissed.

"Now now Nina, I shall introduce you to the lovely Seth Clearwater, after all, you liked his mom," she smirked.

"Hey," Seth greeted once he reached us, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.

"Seth! Hey, I wanted to introduce you to my new bestie, Nina," Kara smiled.

Seth bit his lip as he glanced up at me, "Hi,".

I smiled awkwardly, "Hi… nice to meet you,".

"Yeah… um… I better get going," Seth announced before turning on his heel and heading back over to his friends.

That was horrible.

"What the heck is his problem? He's usually friendly," Kara muttered as she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah well-," the sound of the bell interrupted me, "We better get going,".

I said a quick goodbye to Kara before making my way out of the cafeteria as fast as I could. I felt like a complete idiot. I mean Kara just randomly called Seth Clearwater over and he acted so weirdly around me. I didn't like it. And the worst part was, I had no idea why.

His mom was so friendly and nice but he was just well… rude.

Today was not my day.

* * *

The last few classes seemed to last forever. I couldn't stop thinking about two things. One being why on earth was Jacob not in and the other being why Seth acted so weird around me. I hope there weren't any rumors going around.

By the time the final period rolled around which was Art, I needed the bathroom.

I took a hall pass from the teacher and headed out of class, down the empty halls. Once I entered the bathroom, I quickly made my way to the sinks and slashed my face with cold water. I needed to clear my mind and think happy thoughts like… I'm living in a nice area, I made a good friend, I live in a nice house but my mind wasn't having any of it.

So with a long sigh, I fixed myself up and headed back out of the bathroom. Only I never really made it back to class because once I swung the door open and stepped out, Jacob Black was leaning with his back against the wall opposite the bathroom, his arms folded across his chest.

I gasped once I saw him and of course the usual happened. My heartbeat went up a notch and butterflies assaulted my stomach. Not to mention I didn't look my best today in an old pair of jeans, plain white shirt and my hair done up in a messy bun.

But as for Jacob. Oh he always looked so great. Even though he was dressed casually in a pair of faded jeans and a brown t-shirt, his hair pulled back at the nape of his neck. He still struck me with his beauty.

Jacob broke the silence, "Why did you ignore me last night?,".

I guess I was wrong about him after all.

He did care.


	4. Misunderstood

**A/N: Yeah I know I completely abandoned this story didn't I?** **But I DID complete my other story and yes there is going to be a sequel to it but I decided to do this first.**

**I've got a lot of reviews for this story which I'm honestly surprised about so thank you all very much! That's why I'm updating. I hope you haven't given up on this story.**

**So here we go.**

**Chapter 4: Misunderstood**

"I… I eh, wasn't ignoring you," I lied and immediately felt guilty about it.

He huffed, "Really? So what was up with all the quick glances then? Or how about when you ran to the ladies room?."

I diverted my gaze to the floor, my cheeks burning up. I couldn't make eye contact with him again and lie right to his face, somehow it felt physically impossible. Not to mention my body was pushing me to tell him the truth that I _had_ been ignoring him.

Why was it that I always got myself into random, awkward situations? Oh right because I'm Nina O'Neil, the walking disaster.

"I really need to get back to class," I said, taking a few steps.

His warm hand latched onto my arm then, "Not so fast Nina."

The electric volts his touch sent through my arm was unbelievable, causing me to shiver. No other guy had ever caused such a reaction from me, I just hoped Jacob hadn't noticed because that would be extra embarrassing.

I looked up at him, "Yeah?."

His gaze was melting my insides, "Why Nina? You could have just said hello."

"I know…"

"Then why didn't you? You know it's rude to ignore people."

That last sentence he spoke really pissed me off. It sounded just like something my parents would say. Who was he to tell me right from wrong? Rude from polite? He was the same age as me for crying out loud!

"Just leave me alone Jacob Black! And don't you dare tell me what's rude and what isn't! Just go away!," I hissed as he let go of my arm.

"Nina," he whispered in shock. His dark brown eyes wide and his full lips parted slightly. The hurt evident on his beautiful face.

To be honest I felt incredibly guilty for what I had just said to Jacob, he didn't deserve it. I knew he didn't mean any harm by what he said but after everything last night with Joey and my mom, I just wasn't in the best of moods at the moment.

But I couldn't apologize right then and there, I was way too embarrassed by my behavior so I did the only thing I thought would get me out of this situation as fast as I possibly could and that was to run.

I ran as fast as my light legs would carry me leaving Jacob Black behind. I wanted to cry, wallow in my own self pity but I wouldn't, that would just be selfish. If Kara knew what I had just done she'd probably tell me to get lost.

Taking a few deep breaths before reentering the classroom, I quickly made my way back to my seat and slumped down on it.

My behavior wasn't exactly normal today, I guess it was probably just my hormones but I hated myself for blowing Jacob off like that. I was really _really_ into him, after all isn't that why I ignored him last night? There was just something so special about him. Whether it be his beauty or simply just his personality.

Oh and I lied right to his face.

And normally a small lie like that wouldn't bug me at all but with Jacob it did. It really confused me though, it was like he had some sort of hold on me and we didn't even know each other. Yeah we spoke a couple of times but that was it, he wasn't a friend of mine. Yet I felt like I knew him.

Or maybe I was just completely and utterly insane? I was never normal to begin with.

"Hey, what's up? you don't look too good," Kara observed as I exited the building. School finally over and done with.

I bit my lip, "Nothing Kara."

"Oh come on." She bumped into me playfully as we made our way to the parking lot, "I know when something's not right Nina."

"Really?," I said, my eyes scanning the cars looking for my moms.

"Nina!," she hissed, standing right in front of me now, "What the heck is wrong with you?."

"I'll tell you later," I told her before brushing past her, my mom's car nowhere to be seen.

I heard her sigh and mutter to herself behind me before she ran off. Her footsteps growing fainter and fainter.

Just then my phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Hello."

"Hey hon, it's your mom."

"Oh really? Jeez thought you were dad."

"Nina," she warned.

"Yeah yeah, so where the h… I mean," I cleared my throat, "Where are you?."

"Look I can't make it to the school today, your dads car broke down."

"What the? I told him he seriously needed-."

"Yeah I know, anyway you can walk home right?."

What if I happened to bump into Jacob?

"Mom," I whined.

"Please Nina, don't worry about Joey he's gone to his friends house."

"Why can't you just pick me up and then we can go to dad together?."

"Honey I'm with your dad now, he's I don't know," I heard a tool hit the floor, "Checking it out."

I sighed, "Fine, bye."

I didn't bother waiting for a response, I just clicked my phone shut and stuffed it back into my pocket before heading home.

The weather was cold and dreary as usual, it just happened to match my mood today also, how cool? I envied all the students who actually owned a car, I badly needed one. I almost never left the house and I was in desperate need of a change of scene. I was tired of La Push.

First Beach was great, school wasn't too bad (ignoring today) and the local stores were okay but that's about it. There was nothing else here, no entertainment whatsoever. Forks was the same. I heard Port Angeles was a bit better. If only I had a car.

Not to mention the shirt I was wearing was too thin for this weather and I was shivering. How come Joey always got lucky? He was probably in his friends living room now playing video games and munching on Oreo's while _I_ -yes Nina here- had to walk home in the cold breeze. Just great!

I was halfway home when a red old fashioned car slowed down next to me. Probably some idiot from school.

"Get in," the oh so familiar, husky voice called out to me.

Jacob Black was a real life prince charming. Always turned up at moments when you needed him most or even moments when you didn't want _anyone_ to see you, just to add a little drama. I was considering writing a book about him.

I was afraid to look into the car though, afraid to meet his eyes. My heart was already erratic in my chest and my stomach was doing somersaults, oh and my face resembled the color of a tomato. But I knew I had been rude to him today and I was embarrassed… and sorry.

"You don't want to catch a cold," he called once again.

I stopped then and looked right into his face through the halfway open window. He didn't seem to be angry or pissed at me, just concerned. His eyes melting into mine as we stared at each other, Goosebumps forming on my arms just by his presence.

I lov- no I did not love him. I barely knew him for god sake! I was so messed up.

He reached over and pushed open the passenger side door for me, "Nina," he pleaded.

So with a sigh, I pulled the door all the way open and hopped in, shutting it behind me.

The car remained put.

"Nina I'm sorry for upsetting you today, I didn't mean it," he said softly.

I stared down at my hands on my lap, "It's okay."

"No it's not okay. I don't want to upset you."

I looked up at him then, "It's not your fault Jacob, I'm just… I'm just in a bad mood."

"Why?."

"I don't know… and I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday, you were right I _was_ ignoring you because I was… shy."

He smiled, his perfect white teeth on display, "Why were you shy?."

"Jacob please." I was definitely not going to tell him I was shy because I have the hots for him. That would be so embarrassing.

"Okay sorry," he chuckled, "Just don't be shy next time okay."

I nodded before diverting my gaze back to my hands as he pressed on the gas and we were off, heading towards my house.

To say it was awkward in the car with Jacob would be an understatement. It was downright mortifying. We hadn't spoken a word to each other after that, not a single word! I was just so nervous, a thin layer of sweat forming on my upper lip.

This god sitting next to me was just out of this world beautiful, I could stare at his face for hours and never get bored. And his personality was just so friendly and caring and kind and sweet and amazing and… yeah I could go on.

I mean he even knew where my house was! He wasn't getting away with that though. I was just too curious.

"This is it right," he said, breaking the silence.

I looked out my window. Yes definitely my house.

"How do you know where I live?," I asked.

He gulped, avoiding my gaze, "It's a small town Nina."

I raised an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to mean?."

His smoldering eyes met mine, "I'll leave that for you to figure out."

I chuckled before saying thanks and exiting the car. He waited for me to enter the house before driving away which I thought was incredibly sweet. How did he know where I lived though? How was I supposed to figure that out? Oh and he does NOT like me. He's way too beautiful, popular and perfect for a girl like me.

In my dreams he did though.

* * *

At exactly eight o'clock that day I was squashed between two loud, hyper, immature guys in the backseat of Kara's cousin Phil's car. How did I end up here though? Oh yeah. Well right after I was done cleaning (and drying) the dishes after dinner, Kara phoned to tell me her cousin had five tickets to go see this new action movie. Two of his friends bailed; one grounded the other had plans with his girlfriend so he decided to ask Kara to accompany him and his friends which of course ended up with me going as well due to the extra ticket.

It was awkward and uncomfortable, I have absolutely no idea why I'm sitting between two guys anyway. Why couldn't Kara have sit beside me? Not to mention I didn't want to go in the first place.

Like I said, I was still in a crappy mood although Jacob had lightened it up a little with his charm but I was feeling negative and down so basically nothing could make me feel any better. This didn't go unnoticed.

"So you just gonna sit like that and ignore us?," one guy named Mike said to my right.

I kept my eyes on the windscreen, "I'm not ignoring you."

He nudged my side, "Yes you are, want me to cheer you up?."

I didn't like the sound of that. These two guys were obviously never up to any good, I on the other hand was a decent respectable girl and I wasn't about to play along with these two.

"No," I answered flatly.

"Dude she's so not into you, probably _time of the month_," the one to my left snickered. His name was Stephen.

I gave him a sideward's glance, "Have some respect."

"Guys leave Nina alone already! Jeez Phil, you're friends are awesome… not," Kara said sarcastically as she messed with the radio.

Phil chuckled, "I put up with them."

This earned a couple of 'hey's' and 'shut up's' from the two morons next to me. I wondered if this ride would ever end.

We were heading out to the cinema in Port Angeles. I have never ever been there so I guess you could call it a new experience for me. My dad wasn't too happy with me heading out there with three guys though which resulted in him giving the guys a lecture before we left. Major cringe moment!

It was quite shocking at first considering my dad's really easy going but then again I've never really had a boyfriend so I wouldn't really know how he'd react to that. Not that I have one now but I've never gone off with guys before.

If this situation had been different. Say Jacob and I were heading out to watch a movie, I would be the happiest girl in the world right now but no, it always has to be the crappiest situations for me. Always.

"We're here! Wooooooooo," Mike hollered as he jumped out of the car.

I rolled my eyes and followed suit, Kara wrapping her arm around my shoulders once we headed for the cinema. The two morons and Phil way ahead of us.

"Sorry about those two, I had no idea."

I shrugged, "What can you do?."

"So," she smiled excitedly, "I heard Nick was here two nights ago."

"Kara! Is this why we're here?."

She laughed, "No, just saying…"

I shook my head at her, poor Kara. She honestly thought the love of her life would be here tonight but obviously he wouldn't, unless he was interested in seeing the new movie we were going to see which in my opinion looked like a load of nonsense.

Okay yeah, I was definitely in a bad mood.

We were inside now, a long queue at the popcorn area. Thankfully Phil was almost to the top but the two morons were chatting up two girls. You know those kind of girls? The ones with a ton of makeup plastered onto their face and just oozing confidence? Yep that type.

"Hey," Kara said seriously, dragging me over to sit on a bench, "What was up with you today?."

"School wasn't too great," I sighed. Leaning back against the bench.

"Why, what happened?."

"Jacob asked me why I ignored him last night."

"And _why_ is that a bad thing? Are you gone off him or something because usually you'd be dancing all over the place just because Jacob talked to you."

I chuckled, "It was just awkward Kara. Anyway it's no big deal, maybe Stephen was right it could be that time of the month."

"Yeah guess so… I think Jacob likes you though, he rarely ever talks to anyone but his friends," she winked.

I blushed, "He does not Kara! That would be like a dream come true."

"You never know."

"Whatever," I replied just before the guys waved over at us to head on over to catch the movie.

Here we go.

* * *

"Kara I'm going to the bathroom," I whispered into her ear just as the actual action scene started playing. It was one of the most boring movies I had ever had to endure, with the usual overly built men, different sorts of guns, bombs and that one female character all the men go crazy for. Like please! Haven't we seen it all before?

She nodded in response before I got up as fast as I could and squeezed my way past a couple of people. They didn't look too pleased but right then I couldn't have cared less, what did they want me to do? Fly?

I stuffed my hands into my jean pockets as I made my way out the screening room doors and into the empty hall. To be honest I didn't need the bathroom, I just needed to get out of the place and get some air. I wasn't feeling too well, my head was throbbing.

Noticing a bench just a little down the hall, I made my way over to it and sat down. I had no intention of returning to Kara and the three guys (wow I wasn't even calling them morons anymore, definitely sick). She would probably come looking for me though.

"You don't look too good."

I snapped my head up at the voice, my cheeks instantly on fire, "Jacob?."

"Yep that's me," he joked. Sitting next to me.

My heart was about to burst from my chest. What are the odds that the guy you're obsessed with happens to be at the same cinema you're at? This is just unreal. I'm not complaining though, after all I'm smiling and blushing right now.

I gave him a quick one over, admiring how well he looked tonight. He was wearing a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a pair of worn jeans and Nike's. His long hair was left loose and flowing over his shoulders. I had an urge to run my hands through it.

"So uh… what brings you here?," I asked, as he leaned back.

He shrugged, "My friends Quil and Embry wanted to see some horror movie so I obliged."

"And you're out here because?."

"Because it sucks," he chuckled.

I purposely tried to avoid eye contact with him simply because when our eyes do meet something extraordinary happens… I can't really put my finger on it but it sends my heart into a frenzy, my whole body to explode with goose bumps and another feeling like he's the only one I see. Like I'm trapped within him.

"Tell me about it."

"Hey what's wrong?," he asked concernedly, "I was serious before, you don't look good."

"Thanks."

"You know what I mean Nina."

For that one minute Jacob had spoken to me, I had forgotten that I was actually not feeling well until he brought it up. I was worse now… by far. The floor was spinning, my head was overly hot and my stomach was aching. Maybe I ate something bad?

"Ugh," I moaned throwing my face into my hands, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Nina!." He wrapped his warm arm around my waist, pulling me to him. I was shocked at first, we barely knew each other and normally its inappropriate to have any sort of physical contact with someone you don't know but this felt right.

He was acting on instinct I'm sure but it was just right.

"I feel horrible," I whined. My head resting against his strong chest as I breathed in his scent. Musky and earthy. I loved it.

"Shhh it's okay, I think we need to get you home," he whispered. His large hand running through my hair, my whole body trembling from his touch. It felt so good that I relaxed a little and a whimper escaped me before I could stop it.

I was _so_ embarrassed!

But instead of saying anything about it, he held me closer to him as he continued to stroke my hair like the wonderful gentleman he is. I wish he was my boyfriend and he could hold me like this all the time.

"Want me to take you?," he asked softly.

I nodded into his chest not bothering to consider what he had just asked.

My head snapped up to look at him, our eyes met, "Wh-What about," I paused a moment, the electricity flowing through me as his eyes melted into mine, "My friend?."

"Text her," he said before he cradled me to his chest, raising us up off the bench.

Jacob Black was carrying me BRIDAL STYLE! I've never felt as good as I did now at a time where I was unwell.

I chuckled, "You're going to carry me?."

He smiled, "Yeah, no objections missy."

So I giggled. Yes I giggled, not something Nina would do but I did because this hunk was carrying me down the halls, past drooling girls and out into the cool night air towards his car. Although the car wasn't the best car out there, it was his so I loved it.

I took my mobile out of my pocket to text Nina, here's how it went:

**not feeling well, gone home. Really sorry xx**

Jacob was pulling out onto the road when I got the instant reply:

**WTF? U BIOTCH! U JUST LEFT WIDOUT SAYIN GUDBYE? :P**

I giggled as I texted her back:

**yup cuz Jacob Black is takin me home :)**

A couple of seconds later she texted back:

**U WISH! NEWAYS HOPE YOU GET BETR, CALL U L8R xxx**

I rolled my eyes. Of course she wouldn't believe me but I'd make her believe me somehow, this was huge!

"Jacob?," I said once we were heading towards Forks. We hadn't spoken a word to each other since we'd left the cinema.

"Yeah." He glanced over at me, giving me a small smile.

"Thanks for this, I really appreciate it," I gave him a smile in return which only caused his to grow wider. His pearl whites a perfect contrast against his russet skin.

"Don't mention it." He reached over, squeezing my hand in his, "I just want you to feel better."

My hormones were all over the place then, igniting feelings inside me I hadn't known existed. His scorching hand over mine wasn't something I had expected him to do. The look in his eyes when he did it was wonderful, they somehow grew darker with meaning. I would have said love but he doesn't love me.

I could have stayed lost in that moment forever but eventually his eyes returned to the road but his hand stayed placed over mine, just like my eyes never left his face. His cheekbones strong and high, his eyes beautiful with the dark lashes and thick eyebrows to match. His nose just perfect and his lips… his full lips just so kissable.

In that moment as the street lights cast a glow over his features in the dark night, I realized that I had never wanted something more than I did now.

I wanted Jacob Black.

As I diverted my gaze back to the road ahead of us, no more words were spoken between us. Just the faint sounds of our breathing.

"Nina," a voice whispered. Warm caresses on my face, "Nina wake up."

"Hmm," I murmured. Leaning into the touch.

"Nina you're home."

My eyes shot open then, "What?," I looked out the window, realizing I must have fallen asleep, "Oh my god Jacob I'm so sorry! I wasn't-."

"It's okay," he chuckled, "How are you feeling?."

"Okay but still a little dizzy."

"Come on, the sooner the better you're in bed." I gulped when he said bed. My bed, his bed, I wonder what his bedroom looks like? Maybe it's blue, all guys like blue right? Oh and, "Nina, come on."

I blushed. Realizing I was thinking about his room right in front of him, "Sorry," I mumbled before scrambling out of the car.

He wrapped an arm around my waist as he lead me towards my front door which was open, my dad standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

Oh no.

"And you are?," he asked. Cocking an eyebrow at Jacob.

"Sorry sir," Jacob said. Unwrapping his arm from around me and extending his hand out to my father, "Jacob Black."

My dad made no move to shake his hand.

"What are you doing with my daughter?," he asked firmly. Glaring at him.

I was mortified.

Jacob swallowed as he let his hand drop to his side, "She wasn't feeling well so I offered to take her home."

"Huh, like I haven't heard that one before." My dad brought his glare on me then, "Inside Nina."

I obeyed him like the good girl I was and headed inside, lingering in the hallway as I listened to what he'd say to Jacob. Poor Jacob.

"Honestly sir, she wasn't feeling well."

"You keep away from my daughter you hear me? I don't want to see your face here again. Now leave!."

And just like that my dad slammed the door shut and turned to me, his face red with anger.

"How dare you! Is that what you were up to all this time? Supposedly going to the cinema with Kara and those three boys but instead running off with some guy for the night?," he spat.

I shook my head, "Dad I was sick! He's a friend from school so he-."

"A friend from school? Nina he's a man! Don't you dare lie to my face like that again, just go up to your room. I don't want to hear anymore, I'm disgusted."

"But dad-."

"NOW!," he roared.

So I ran up the stairs, into my room and locked the door behind me as I threw myself onto my bed.

That night I cried myself to sleep.


	5. Awkward

**A/N: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! They make my day.**

**Chapter 5: Awkward**

Tuesday morning had got to be the worst morning of my time in La Push. I woke up with these two puffy eyes that just couldn't be hidden, even with a ton of makeup. My nose was of course red from all the crying I had done last night and I just looked like a mess. Or a ragdoll… or an ugly ragdoll.

My blood boiled at the thought of seeing dad today. He had been a jerk to me yesterday, he was an even worse jerk to Jacob. As usual he jumped to conclusions and wouldn't even hear us out. I hadn't got it in me to fight with him but today it was a whole other story.

I would ignore him, simple as that.

That didn't change the fact that I had to go to school and face Jacob again. I mean how bad can it get? Monday morning I was a nervous wreck because Jacob had seen me see him strip along with his friends as they raced off into the woods. Now Tuesday morning I'm in an even worse state with the embarrassment of my father.

How was I supposed to make friends with Jacob if retarded crap like this kept happening? Oh who was I kidding! We'd probably never become friends, just remain acquaintances. I seriously need to stop obsessing over him and get a life. It's becoming unhealthy.

"Like seriously Nina we really need to get outta here," Kara said as she washed her hands.

"Ugh I know! It's just-."

"You're mortified, I know. Too bad you felt okay this morning or you could have stayed at home, sick."

I gave her a look through the reflection of the mirror, "Is that your way of saying you don't want me here?."

"Oh shut up Nina," she chuckled, "You love taking things the wrong way don't u?."

"Yeah," I smiled.

A second later I was being dragged out of the bathrooms and out into the crowded halls of La Push High. Familiar faces passed me by considering it was such a small school and everyone knew each other, luckily I didn't see _his_ face… yet.

Ten minutes later after hearing Kara squeal and gush over Nick as he chatted up some girls at his locker wearing a tight fitted navy t-shirt and dark jeans. His long hair flowing and his booming laugh echoing down the halls. I made it into my English lesson.

Jacob's seat was empty so giving a little sigh of relief, I took my seat next to it and tried my best to pay attention to the wonderful Mrs. Cook.

When the lesson was over, I started freaking out. He hadn't come in for the whole lesson, not that I wanted to face him after last night but I couldn't help but miss seeing him and his beauty. Hearing his husky voice. Smelling his earthy smell.

Only yesterday I was in his arms. Yes, in Jacob Black's arms! It had felt so good and despite him being over 6'6 and very muscular, he was soft. His skin was just so smooth, I could run my hands over his body all day.

What if he was avoiding me now? After the whole scenario with my dad. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw him at lunch, he was probably just skipping this class because I'm in it. I couldn't blame him though, my dad made me look like a freak.

Remind me to thank him for that… not.

"Nina he's not here, none of them are," Kara assured me as we sat in the cafeteria.

"It's because of me, I know it."

"Shut up already! Jeez, you're not that important Nina."

"Thanks a lot."

"No seriously," she started, sipping on her juice, "That wasn't meant to be rude but if a guy doesn't want anything to do with you anymore, you'll see him around he just won't speak to you. It's called ignoring. Jacob and his friends aren't ignoring you, they're just not in."

I sighed, "I hope so."

"You spend too much of your time obsessing over him Nina, it's getting a little scary…"

"Kara!." I slapped her arm across the table playfully as she laughed, "Like you don't obsess over Nick."

She blushed, "I really like him."

"Oh so I don't really like Jacob?."

"No," she shook her head, "You love him."

For the first time that day, I was completely and utterly speechless. Just yesterday I had almost told myself that I loved him but then got rid of the thought as quickly as it came. But having someone else say it to me made me think about it a little more.

In my heart I knew (even though its completely crazy) that I would do anything for Jacob. There was just something about him, something I can't put my finger on but love it anyway. He's exotic, so unique in his own personal way. He's just different… different to the other guys.

But how can you love someone if you barely know them? And, I had only seen him less than two weeks ago. It seemed impossible, I just couldn't understand it. Maybe I just had a really big crush on him.

"Earth to Nina, the bell has rung," Kara's voice interrupted my thoughts, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Oh sorry I-."

"Jacob, I know," she smiled, "Come on, before you miss class."

The next couple of classes were such a bore, I honestly don't know how I got through them. I could barely concentrate with my thoughts running away with me. My bottom lip was slit from all the biting I had done on it today, the salty taste of the blood in my mouth. I just couldn't help wondering where he was.

This didn't go unnoticed by my teachers though, I was constantly being told to pay attention and asked whether I got enough sleep last night. Although I was honest with them, saying I _had_ gotten sleep they obviously didn't believe me due to my puffy eyes.

I didn't really care though.

* * *

"Honey, come in her a minute," mom called the instant I stepped into the house from school.

I took the bus home today considering dad's car broke down yesterday and mom let him take her car for the time being. The bus was pretty crappy with the two gossip girls down the back, otherwise it was alright. I preferred mom taking me home though.

"Please not let this be about last night," I muttered to myself as I walked into the living room.

Mom patted the space beside her on the sofa.

"I suppose you know what I want to speak to you about."

Oh great, it _was_ about last night. Thank god dad isn't here.

"Yeah."

"Alright then straight to the point we go, who is Jacob Black and why were you with him last night?."

I sighed, "Jacob is a classmate of mine I bumped into last night at the movies."

"So tell me, how do you bump into a guy then end up in his car?."

"Mom," I looked her dead in the eye, "I left the screening room because I wasn't feeling well, I sat down on a bench, he saw me, asked what was wrong, I told him I wasn't feeling well so he offered to take me home. End of story!."

"Your father said this was a young man and not a high schooler."

I rolled my eyes, "He's just big for his age."

"Nina," she started, placing her hand over mine, "If there's something you'd like to tell me, don't be afraid-."

"MOM!," I roared, "I'm not pregnant okay? Me and Jacob did NOT have sex last night okay? He took me home because he's a nice guy. Happy now?."

My mom's mouth was hanging open by the end of my speech.

"Yeah… that about clears it up."

I could see it in her eyes, the disbelief. She really did think Jacob and I were up to something last night, like I'd be that lucky. Not that I'd jump into bed with him in an instant but you get what I'm saying.

Dad really got to her.

"Nina," a voice boomed into the room.

Oh no, dad.

"Hmm," I sounded. Like I said earlier, I'd try my best to ignore him.

"I meant what I said last night."

I looked over at him standing in the doorway, "You said a lot of things."

"Remember the part where I told that… man that I never wanted to see his face again? Yeah that."

"Dad he didn't do anything."

He shook his head, "I don't care Nina, he's way older than you."

"He's the same age as me!."

Folding his arms across his chest, he huffed, "You expect me to believe that?."

"Whatever dad."

To be honest I wasn't in the mood for this right now. He wouldn't believe me whether or not I told him a hundred times that Jacob was my age so what's the point in fighting a lost battle? The best I can do is ignore him.

"Anyway," he drew the word out, "Your mother and I have come to an agreement."

Mom smirked, "It's about transport."

"Okay…"

"So you know how I haven't brought my car to the repair shop?," dad asked.

"Yeah, thought that was weird."

He chuckled, "Well I've decided I'm going to buy a new car."

"And?."

"And so we've decided that if _you_ repair the old car with your own money, you can keep it."

My jaw dropped, "You're kidding right?."

"Nope, basically it's just something to do with the engine so it shouldn't be that expensive. Find yourself a garage, pay them and there you go, no more riding to school with your mom anymore."

All thoughts other than this one pushed aside, I jumped up off the sofa and threw my arms around my dad. Yeah so I said I'd ignore him but really, I was basically getting a car and I badly needed it.

I gave my mom a hug after that and thanked them endlessly. It really was a big deal to me, Kara and I could head on out to Port Angeles and Seattle without the dread of asking our parents to take us.

Waking up in the mornings and knowing that I didn't have to ride with Joey in mom's car again would be fantastic, not to mention it wouldn't be embarrassing turning up at school anymore. This was just great.

Definitely made my day.

The only problem was, whereabouts I'd find a garage. Probably down the road, if not then in Forks. There just had to be one around.

"Hey Kara, what's up?," I asked over the phone, two hours after the great news.

"Nothing much, just watching TV."

"Well guess what?."

"What? Jacob's waiting in your room naked?."

"Kara!."

"Ha ha sorry, so what is it?."

"My dad said if I took his old car to a garage and paid for the repairs, I can keep it!."

"No way."

"Yes way! Isn't this awesome? I just need to find a garage now."

"Are you like seriously serious?."

"About what?."

"About finding a garage."

"Heck yeah! Do you know anywhere?."

Kara went into fits of laughter, "Nina you really are funny, I can't believe you don't know this."

"What?," I asked. Completely dumbfounded now.

"There's a really great mechanic in La Push, anyone come to mind?."

"Don't tell me its Nick."

"No you idiot, it's Jacob! You know that guy right? The one with the long hair, big muscles and out of this world height?."

"Oh my god, Kara are you serious?."

"Yeah! I don't know if he still spends his time working in his garage anymore but he used to… then again that was centuries ago."

"It doesn't matter anyway." My heart was erratic in my chest, "I mean you don't think I'm going to pay him a visit after last night?."

"No but at least I tried eh?."

"True."

"Bet you'd love to watch him work on your car, all sweaty and oily oooh."

"Kara I'm going to kill you tomorrow!," I laughed.

"You'll be thanking me next year."

"We'll see."

* * *

Later that day, Kara stopped by unexpectedly and asked whether I wanted to hang out on First Beach. Of course I said yes, just dying to get out of the house and away from my parents. Although I was thankful, I still hated spending time with them.

Heading out in my favorite jeans, light blue t-shirt along with a navy hoodie and converse. I felt really good, a complete change from my mood earlier that morning. However I couldn't help but still wonder where Jacob and his friends were today.

The beach was pretty much crowded with the teenagers from Forks and the La Push teenagers as well. It was around eight o'clock so they all started bonfires while music blared from their stereos and heavy laughter filled the air.

I had never met any of the kids from Forks but they seemed friendly enough. They didn't hold my attention any longer though as my eyes landed on four 'familiar' guys emerging from the woods just a little down the beach.

This of course went unnoticed by everyone else but me as the four boys/men started their own bonfire.

"What the heck are you staring at?," Kara asked. Looking over in the direction I was, "Oh Oh, mister lover lover."

"Shut up," I giggled.

Jacob looked… sexy. That was the only word which could describe him right now. It was the first of September and very cold yet he was only wearing one piece of clothing, jean cut offs. And these cut offs weren't just cut offs that fit you perfectly, no these hung very low on his waist and clung to him in all the right places.

To be honest, he had a nice butt.

"So are we just going to stand here and watch him like two stalkers?."

I rolled my eyes, blushing like crazy, "Where are we going to sit?."

"There." she pointed towards her cousin Phil and (oh no) those two morons along with another bunch of people.

"Why is he friends with them?."

She laughed, "They're really not that bad once you get to know them."

We headed over to them then as they waved over at us. Their bonfire wasn't too far from Jacob's but still not close enough. Although I would have been really embarrassed if it were next to his, especially since last night.

He looked wonderful though. His long hair blowing in the wind, the muscles in his arms flexing as he carried a log over for his friends to sit on as though it weighed nothing. The way his body glistened with sweat as the burning fire casted a glow over him. He was just perfect.

"Hey guys," Phil greeted as we approached them.

"Where are the drinks?," Kara replied.

I chuckled quietly to myself at her reply, sitting down on a log which faced Jacob and his friends bonfire.

"Nina," she called over to me as she held open a cooler box, "Pepsi or Sprite?."

"Sprite," I called back.

I thought I saw Jacob turn to look over at us but one of the morons decided to chat with me.

"So," he smiled, sitting down next to me, "You're not in a mood today are you?."

"Nope, as long as you don't say anything _rude_ like last time," I said as Kara threw me a can and went to sit next to her cousin.

"Yeah sorry about that…"

"So are you Michael or Stephen? I forget."

"Stephen, you're Nancy right?."

"Nina."

"Oh sorry."

"No it's okay."

"Do you like cheese?."

I had been in the middle of drinking the Sprite when he asked me that randomly retarded question that I ended up choking on it. It was funny, I had to give him that.

"Ha ha, you okay?," he asked as I started coughing.

"Yes to both of your questions."

He laughed hard then, throwing his head back. Stephen was quite handsome, he had shiny black hair cut short and spiked up with gel. His eyes were what you would call big with thick eyelashes. He had the high cheekbones and tanned skin tone, his lips were on the thin side though.

"So are you a senior?," he asked.

"Yup, can't wait to finish up with school."

"I graduated last year but believe me it's not fun, you have to get a job and work your ass off. Parents refer to it as," he made quotation signs, "The real world."

"Tell me about it, so are you not going to college then?."

Stephen proceeded to tell me about his life. He was studying to be an accountant but at the same time working at some hardware store in Forks. I found out he was an only child living with his grandparents as his parents were away on business.

All in all he turned out to be a really nice guy and I found myself lost in conversation with him for over an hour. We talked about our likes and dislikes, interests and music. Too bad he was no longer in school or else me and Kara could have had more company.

"You see that guy over there? the really big one," Stephen said, pointing his chin in Jacob's direction.

"Yeah…"

"He keeps looking over here, it's starting to creep me out."

And then Jacob's words to me yesterday at school played in my head 'Don't be shy next time okay'.

"I'm just going to go say hello, give me a sec."

"What!," he screeched, grabbing my hand as I moved to stand up, "Are you crazy? Those guys are in some kind of cult or gang, I don't know but they're definitely bad news Nina."

I pulled my hand from his grasp and stood up straight, "I know them."

Without looking back I started towards Jacob's bonfire. There was much more of them now along with two girls. He was watching me as I got closer, his eyes burning into mine. His gaze had a certain intensity about it that I found myself shivering and looking away.

And no I wasn't confident heading over to them, I was a bundle of nerves. Shaking with fear of the unknown. What if they told me to get lost, what if he told me to just leave him alone? I was shy by nature and this wasn't what I was used to.

I smiled weakly as I approached him, "Hi."

"Hey." He smiled brightly, standing up to his full height. I barely reached his shoulders.

"I… I eh, just… eh d-decided to say hello," I stuttered like the nervous wreck I was.

He chuckled and I casted my eyes downwards, trying to desperately to hide my blush. What I completely forgot about was his half nakedness, my eyes landing right on the trail of hair that lead to his 'private parts'. Oh boy I was blushing like crazy now.

"Well at least you weren't shy like last time," he said.

I looked up into his eyes, "Yeah sorry about that."

"It's okay, so who are your friends?," he asked. His face took on a dark look, his jaw set and his lips drawn into a thin line.

"Oh um they're just friends of my friends cousin."

"Well," he said, his eyes meeting mine once again, "Walk with me?."

We took off down the beach then. There were no other bonfires down the end he took us to, just the sand, rocks and trees. Once we were far enough from everyone's hearing range, he spoke up.

"You feeling better today? You know with the sickness and all." His eyes showed concern and I was flattered that he actually cared. Well even if he didn't, he asked.

"Yeah, much better thanks." I smiled shyly as we neared a log.

Jacob sat down, patting the space beside him, "Don't worry, I won't bite," he grinned.

I giggled, sitting next to him, "Isn't that a vampires job?."

His expression hardened when I said that. Okay….. it's not like a vampire is going to randomly appear from the woods behind us with fangs and suck the blood out of us. That's just cheesy Hollywood stuff.

"So I guess we have to be discreet now…," he trailed off, his bare feet sinking into the sand.

"What… oh." He was talking about last night, "We're good as long as you don't drive me home."

He sighed, "This isn't right."

"I know, I'm so sorry Jacob." I placed my elbows on my knees and covered my face with my hands. This was awkward.

"No Nina don't be," he said softly. His warm hand on my back now, "I'm not mad at you or your dad, I just don't like this."

I turned to look at him, "We can just forget about it, it's not like my dad is going to watch my every move."

"We can't forget about it or things could get ugly."

"What do you mean?."

"Look at me," he groaned, "He'll never believe I'm eighteen."

I looked down then, not knowing how to answer him. There really was no answer to that unless I took my dad to school with me or brought him to Jacob's house and told him to ask his father what age he was but I wouldn't dare do any of that. That would be majorly embarrassing.

"Hey um Jacob?."

"Yeah?." The hand that was placed on my back fell lower. I knew he didn't do it intentionally but it was seriously making me dizzy. In a good way that is.

I met his eyes again, "Do you like… fix cars?."

"Well I used to, why?," he asked. His eyes melting into mine.

At first I didn't know what to say as I got lost in his gaze. It must have been around ten o'clock and just the thought of being with him that late was so exciting. The moonlight causing his russet skin to glow in the dark, his muscular body just calling out to me. I wanted to touch him… but I couldn't.

Oh well, good things come to those who wait.

"Nina?."

"Oh," I blushed, "Sorry, it's just my dad kind of told me that if I got his old car repaired I could keep it but it doesn't matter Jacob, I mean obviously you don't do it anymore. I shouldn't have asked, that was stupid."

He chuckled, his burning hand slipping lower, "I'd be more than happy to fix your car for you Nina."

My eyes widened, "Really? Like seriously?."

He nodded, "Yeah, absolutely. When do we start?."

"Oh my god!," I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck, "Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me."

His strong arms wrapped around me as he laughed quietly into my ear, his hot breath sending me into a daze. I hadn't even realized I was hugging him until then, my cheek pressed against his chest and my hands on his shoulder blades. His body like fire against me.

I was embarrassed that I had hugged him like that but he didn't seem to mind so neither did I at that moment. Instead I enjoyed it.

After a couple of minutes I decided to pull way or else I might appear clingy.

"So." I tucked stray hairs behind my ears as I looked up at him, "Do I just drop the car off at your place then?."

He seemed uncomfortable a moment, shoving his hands into his pockets, his cut offs sliding down lower as he did so. My eyes bulged out of my head at the sight, not only was the _trail_ of hair the only thing I could see but his cut offs were down so low I could see more darker curls of hair just above the waistline.

My legs had officially turned to Jell-o.

"I'll do it," he said blushing, "When you get home from school."

I honestly couldn't understand why he was blushing.

"But my dad." I bit my lip.

"Don't worry about it, he's not at home then is he?."

"No but mom is."

"We'll figure something out at school then."

I gave him a big smile then because not only was Jacob Black going to be fixing my car for me but we were going to talk at school tomorrow. The only problem was my dad. We'd have to be sneaky about it.

I guess this would be me and Jacob's little secret.


	6. Dirty Little Secret

**A/N: ****Gosh**** guys I'm so sorry this took **_**years**_** literally, I've been so busy with my other story that I wanted to wait until I ended it before I continued with this (the other story is almost done, three more chapters?), so will you guys forgive me? I hope you're still interested in this. I feel bad now, honest.**

**Anyway hope you all enjoy this.**

**Chapter 6: Dirty Little Secret**

Looking good was never one of my top priorities. Yeah, I liked to look nice but in a casual way. School was _not_ the catwalk (although there are a majority of girls and boys who think so) so therefore I didn't ever intend in walking into class dressed in fancy designer gear.

Now from experience, a lot of people I know happen to think I couldn't give a damn about my appearance and for some reason this makes them think they have the right to insult me but in a smart way let's say. For example: 'I just hate flats on short girls' pauses and gives me a fake smile 'Yours are cute though'.

That was a direct insult to my face. Covering it up by saying something complimentary just doesn't work, believe me I've been there, it just ruins your whole day. Sometimes I wonder how people have the cheek to say things like that.

Whatever, those people suck.

Anyway point is, I like to look casual in a nice way right? Well today I happen to think I look horrendous. It was one of those 'bad hair days' so I ended up tying my hair into a knot at the back of my head and putting on a plain white baseball cap. Yeah I know, random.

Also, when I looked in my closet for something decent to wear there was absolutely nothing! I'm starting to think mom's going through a lazy stage, doesn't she do washing anymore? So the only thing available for me to wear was this brown button up shirt that was approximately two years old and these worn pair of jeans I'd intended to throw out (but never did). The only thing that looked alright on me was my converse.

Bleh!

"Gosh I feel disgusting, it's like all sorts of creatures are crawling up and down my body." I shivered, walking down the school corridor with Kara.

Yes, people were giving me dirty looks and sniggering at me, can't say I didn't expect it.

Kara chuckled. "Maybe you just feel those _creatures _because you're feeling the Jacob Black vibe, he must be near."

"Yeah it must be that," I said, my words laced with sarcasm. "Kara for real! I look horrible."

"Let me guess, you're making a big deal out of this because…" she rubbed her chin. "Oh yeah! Jacob Black will see you."

I sighed. "Okay one, stop bringing Jacob into everything and two, stop calling him by his full name, it's retarded."

We stopped at my locker but before I opened it up, I took a sneaky look down the hall but unfortunately Jacob wasn't around, then again maybe it was just as well. I certainly didn't want him to see me looking like this.

Yet my stomach had been doing somersaults ever since he told me he'd work on my car after school today. I just had to look like a mess today didn't I? Thanks karma, appreciate it. Not.

I started unlocking my locker when I felt a finger slide down my spine.

"What the?." I turned around to find Kara in fits of laughter.

"I bet." She laughed. "You thought that was Jacob Blacks finger."

With a roll of my eyes, I turned around and finally opened my locker. "Yeah, sure I did."

"Fine, okay I get it, you feel like crap, I'll stop." She paused for a moment as I took out my books. "Oh my… he even smells like a sex god."

Shutting my locker, I turned around to find her staring at Chris (did I mention that was her crush?) as he walked by with his friends.

"You do realize you could've been sniffing that dude on his right?."

"Ew!." She scrunched up her face in disgust.

Just then the bell sounded. Oh no.

"Okay I've gotta run before my English teacher bites the head off me!."

"See ya later alligator," Kara said before I took off, running down the corridor.

If my teacher, Mrs. Cook, wasn't half as mean as she was, I think I would've just skipped class, not that that was my kind of thing to do because it wasn't at all. I'd never skip an entire day for no reason, even this 'horrendous appearance day' wouldn't make me skip school.

But I was seriously dreading walking into class, teenagers were jerks most of the time. Simple things would make them laugh, snigger and insult you. They were immature idiots (not all of them of course). So I was going to be humiliated in front of everyone now.

Hell even the Mrs. Cook might say something, like the monster she was.

Because I was so occupied with my rather ridiculous unimportant thoughts- yeah, if they don't like what I look like, who cares- I wasn't focusing on where exactly I was going until I ran right into a hard chest.

"Oh, sorry," I said quickly. My face burning with embarrassment as I glanced up at whoever it was I just apologized to.

Oh hell no… Jacob. Great. Just the person I'd _have_ to make a fool of myself in front of.

Pushing that thought aside, he looked stunning. His long hair hung over his shoulders, framing his handsome face, a perfect contrast to his blindingly white teeth. Not to mention the white t-shirt he wore clung to his body, was it a size too small? Oh my.

Wait why was he smiling?

"Faith," he whispered, though I think it was more to himself.

I held my books tighter to my chest. "Sorry again."

He blinked his eyes, his mind must've been somewhere else. "No, don't be. It's fine, really. Are you okay? Here let me-."

"Yeah." I nodded, flattered by his concern. "I'm good thanks. Anyway um, I better get to class."

In truth, all I wanted was to wrap my arms around his muscular body and breathe him in.

His eyes widened. "No wait, I was thinking… that if you wanted, we could skip school today and get your car down to my place."

My heart took that as a sign to pick up its rate. "I've never skipped school before."

"Oh-I- if you don't want to that's more than okay, I just thought." He bit his lip, his brown eyes melting into mine. "Never mind."

I was sure my face resembled the color of a tomato now. "When do we leave?."

A smile broke onto his beautiful face. "You want to?."

Well considering I was now late for English, I guess I could skip school to spend time with him. And I'm going to try and not squeal and jump around like a lunatic that Jacob Black himself wants to skip school with me, even if it's just because he wants to fix up my car.

"Yes, I want to," I told him. Surprising myself by how smooth my voice sounded when I was practically melting inside.

I was going to Jacob's house! _Not_ that anything was going to happen…

* * *

The drive to my place had been awkward. It had been pretty tense. I had kept my eyes ahead of me but out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jacob glancing at me… a lot. Which was strange in a way but I couldn't say I disliked it because I didn't.

Why he was looking at me I was oblivious to, not to mention he was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel of his Rabbit the whole way, as though he was trying to distract himself from something.

But then again, me having an overactive imagination _would_ analyze things.

When we finally arrived at my place- it felt like I had been in that car years- I opened up the garage for Jacob and waited patiently for him as he popped the hood, fiddling with something in there.

Yeah I sucked at cars but he obviously didn't because next thing I knew, my dad's- or should I say mine- car was working. A wave of disappointment hit me as I realized that I wouldn't be going to Jacobs after all.

"So um… you fixed it?," I asked. Trying to hide the disappointment in my voice.

Gosh I felt like a six year old.

Jacob slammed the hood back down, his eyes meeting mine. "For now."

"Thanks." Was all I said, having no idea what else to say as all I really wanted to say was 'I want to spend every single day of my life with you', which would be weird… no, scary.

He came over to where I stood which was by the entrance of the garage and gave me a small smile. "Nee…" he coughed. "Nina, your car isn't fixed yet, that's just temporary."

Nee? Wait what, temporary?

"Sorry?."

With a chuckled he asked. "How did you think we were getting that car down to my place huh? Because I ain't got no tow truck."

The relief I felt in my heart- in my whole body, was unbelievable. But at the same time I made a fool of myself yet again. He was right, how did I think we were getting the car down there? I guess I was too distracted by him to think properly.

I blushed, diverting my gaze downwards. "I'm so stupid."

"No," he replied. One of his hands twitching before he clenched it into a fist. "No, you're not stupid. Don't think that."

Any other guy would've just laughed but he didn't, which made my crush for him all that much stronger.

After that, nothing else was said. I thought for a minute that he would say something else as he just stood there, watching me watching him clench and unclench his fist. Yet he didn't, instead he held open the passenger's side door and gestured for me to get in.

The ride to his place was just like the ride to mine; awkward and tense. Luckily his place wasn't too far away and we were soon pulling up outside his tiny yet cozy house.

"Home sweet home," he said, smiling over at me with a look in his eyes. A look I couldn't put my finger on.

Maybe I'm finally going crazy. No wait, I already am.

He wasted no time in shifting the car into reverse and backing it up into his garage. I grimaced as I noticed how abandoned it looked on the inside.

Stepping out of the car, I scrunched up my nose at the damp, dusty air and as luck would have it, I started coughing. Great, just great. Fantastic Nina.

Jacob was in front of me in an instant. "Are you okay?," he panicked.

I nodded, coughing into the back of my hand, my eyes teary. "F-." cough. "Fine."

His eyes looked me over in concern before he muttered something about getting me water. "I'll be right back."

To say I was surprised by his concern for me would be an understatement. I was shocked. No person, not even my own parents acted like this over me, if I was coughing in my own home, they'd probably just ask me what was wrong- actually come to think of it they wouldn't even notice. They'd know if it was serious.

As for Jacob, oh Jacob would probably take me to hospital if I bumped my knee off of something… okay that was an exaggeration but you get my point. And as strange as his behavior is, I like it. No, I love it.

So I would've checked out a bit of the garage out of curiosity, but Jacob was back before I even reached the hood of my dad's car. A glass of water in his large hand.

He handed it to me. "Drink this, it'll help your throat."

For some reason, a strange feeling washed over me, a feeling like there would be no questioning why I should drink it, or no rejecting it and without even realizing it, I was gulping down the water. An amused smile on Jacobs face.

"Thank you, I needed it," I said. Slightly embarrassed that I had just drank the water in front of him in less than a ten seconds.

He took the glass from me, setting it down on the floor. "You're always welcome."

Awkward silence.

I fake coughed. "So…"

"Oh yeah, the car, this may take a while so um, just." He paused looking around the room before his eyes landed on something. A second later he placed a stool next to me. "Sit here if you want."

So I sat and sat and sat and sat but surprisingly I never got tired of watching him work on the engine of the car. His movements were so graceful, he seemed so experienced, not to mention he was beautiful- was that my millionth time to state that?

Every now and then, he'd look at me over his shoulder, giving me a small smile before he'd return to work. I'd smile in return but it was always a second too late as I was too shy to smile right back at him.

I know, I'm lame.

At some point, his white t-shirt had gotten all greasy in the front but unfortunately he never took it off… wait what did I think this was, some kind of sexual fantasy where he works half naked on my car? Kara would be in fits if she knew about this…

Holy crow, I never even thought of Kara until now. I practically just abandoned her at school so I could take off with Jacob- who was technically a stranger. She probably hates me now. Maybe I should call her?

I shook my head, no way. If I couldn't smile back at Jacob then how in the world was I supposed to _speak _to Kara while he was in the room? I'd just have to wait until later.

"Jacob?," an unfamiliar voice called from outside.

He stopped what he was doing, standing up straight. "Yeah?."

"What are you-," whoever was speaking stopped what they were saying once they entered. "Oh."

My cheeks were burning as I looked over my shoulder. A middle-aged man sat in a wheelchair, his eyes fixed on me.

"Dad this is Nina, you know, my classmate," Jacob drawled out the last part, much to my confusion.

I quickly stood up on shaky legs and made my way over to the man. "N-Nice to meet you," I stuttered, extending my hand out to him.

He smiled warmly, shaking my hand. "Lovely to finally meet you, Jacob-."

"Dad," Jacob warned.

With a chuckle, his father looked back up at me. "I'm Billy Black and you're Nina who?."

"Nina O'Neil," I responded before he let my hand go.

Jacob was suddenly by my side, causing goose bumps to rise on my right arm. "I'm fixing up her dads car, I'll let you know when I'm done."

That was obviously a hint to get rid of his father.

Billy eyed us both skeptically. "How come you're both not in school?."

"Um well-," I started but Jacob beat me to it.

"She needs the car to be fixed _dad_, better sooner than later."

With a sigh Billy replied. "Alright you two, but this better be the last time I see you both in here at this hour of the morning, we don't want to cause trouble between Nina and her parents. The school will be wondering too."

"Sure sure."

I nodded. "Of course."

And with that Billy gave me a friendly smile before rolling out of the garage back to the house.

I let out a breath I hadn't been aware I was holding once he was out of sight. He seemed nice but Parents including _anyone's _always seemed to intimidate me. in a way you could say I feared older people- thanks mom and dad… not.

Without another word, Jacob returned to fixing the car while I turned around, still standing in the same spot and watched him. He stiffened under my gaze even though I found it odd that he knew I was staring at him.

"Sorry about my dad, he's pretty nosy," he said with his back to me.

"No it's fine.. um… all parents are like that."

Taking a seat back on the stool, I was at a loss for words. Yesterday I had thought that today would be wonderful, that Jacob and I would get along so well as he was known to be the happy-go-lucky type.

But I was wrong, it was way too awkward. Sometimes I allow my imagination to run wild, making everything into fairytales when that's clearly impossible. The truth is, Jacob and I are strangers. I'm attracted to him and he's just… fixing my car to be nice. Nothing more.

Why he had to take me with him here in the first place I'll never understand. I mean yeah, I loved being around him, there was just something about being near him that made me feel different. I didn't know what that feeling was though, but I knew that whenever he wasn't around I had this empty feeling.

Oh my god I sound like some cheesy character from a chick flick.

"Hey Nina, there's a radio over there if you wanna turn it on," he said to me as he bent down for a tool.

Pushing myself off the stool, I headed over to where I assumed the radio was when I felt a sharp pain in the heel of my foot. As much as I tried to suppress it, a gasp escaped my lips as I froze, unable to keep walking.

"Nina? What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong," Jacob said. Suddenly in front of me, his eyes landing on my legs. "Is it your leg?."

I shook my head. "My foot."

This _would_ have to happen.

As quick as lightening, he helped me to sit on the floor as he bent down next to me, lifting up my foot. The warmth of his hand on my ankle was so comforting, so relaxing. I could sit like this all day.

His other hand touched something on the sole of my sneaker, causing me to whimper. It seriously hurt like hell. If I were at home now, I'd be crying.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. His pained eyes meeting mine. "A large nail cut through the sole of your sneaker somehow."

"It's in my foot too."

"I know." His thumb rubbed over my ankle soothingly. "This is going to hurt. I'm so sorry, it's my fault, I should've cleared up the place last night, I'm such an idiot."

Warmth filled my heart. "You're not… just… just pull it out."

"It's going to hurt," he said worriedly.

"There's nothing we can do about that, just do it, I'll be fine."

So after counting to three, he pulled it out, causing me to gasp yet again. The heel of my foot throbbed and felt more than a little bruised.

Wow my life is so dramatic, maybe I should video everything and put it up on youtube? Hell, I might become famous.

"Nee- Nina, are you alright? I'm gonna take your sneaker off to check out your foot okay? Sorry, I'm so sorry."

Okay Nee? That's the second time he's after saying that to me. Or maybe he forgets my name?

"Jacob stop apologizing, it's not your fault," I said. Giving him a little smile as he pulled the sneaker off.

He studied my bare foot then, his fingers tracing over the skin around the sore part. This seemed to last forever, not that I was complaining but I never considered my foot to be interesting, apparently he thought otherwise.

His brown eyes looked up into mine for a moment as his long black hair hung over his shoulders. There was something about the way he looked at me that I couldn't put my finger on, it was almost like he genuinely cared about me…

Okay enough Nina, you're being totally ridiculous. He's a nice guy. Period.

Ten minutes later, I was sitting back on the stool except this time only one foot had a sneaker on. The other foot was creamed- Jacob insisted. He was even going to cream it for me, then he must've thought better of it because instead, he handed me the tube and told me he'd better get back to work.

Not that I was hurt or anything… I mean I was perfectly capable of doing it myself. It's just… well the feel of his hands on me was nice… more than nice… lovely actually.

Man I really need to get a grip.

"I'm gonna check if this baby works now," he said after a long while. Hopping into the driver's seat and starting the engine.

It started- I didn't know what to feel. Happiness that it was working or sadness that I'd be leaving.

"That was quick," I said. Hoping that the disappointment in my voice would go unnoticed.

He killed the engine. "Yeah, it wasn't a major problem, you're lucky."

I hopped off the stool and slipped my foot into the sneaker, pursing my lips together as I felt the pain rise in my heel. "Thanks Jacob."

Shouldn't I have been happy that I finally had a car now? That I had just spent four whole hours with Jacob in his infamous garage? Yeah I should've been but I wasn't, it was like all the joy had been sucked out of me.

The weirdest part was, I didn't know why I felt like this. It certainly wasn't normal.

* * *

"Jeez, I'm only in the door and you're interrogating me." I rolled my eyes as Kara stood over me, arms crossed as I sat on the edge of her bed.

"You abandoned me in that hell hole of a school! I thought you were kidnapped or that one of the bears attacked you or something…"

I cocked my eyebrow. "Bears?."

"Yes bears. Every heard of a woman called Emily Young?." I shook my head. "Well she lives nearby with Sam Uley, he's- whatever, point is, she got mauled by a bear! There have been sightings you know."

"Woah."

She threw her hands up in frustration. "They're out there, I'm serious!."

"Okayyy relax, I wasn't chilling with any bears Kara." I chuckled.

"Then where the heck where you?."

I sighed, falling back against the bed, remembering the last ride to my place I had with Jacob a few hours ago. It was awkward as usual, the only difference was that whenever I stole glances at him he'd catch me, of course I looked away embarrassed. He had been doing the whole tapping the steering wheel with his fingers thing again, leaving me feeling uneasy.

Then when we got to my place, we just sat there, not saying a word to each other until he broke the silence by saying 'well I guess I'll see you around' which lead to me thanking him for everything. And then he gave me one his signature smiles, leaving me breathless before he hopped out of the car. His Rabbit was parked down the end of the road where he'd left it earlier so he could drive my car to his place, so that's how he got home.

And that was probably the last time him and I would spend time together.

"I was with Jacob," I answered. Staring up at the ceiling. Missing him already.

I know, corny right?

Suddenly, Kara grabbed my hand and jerked me back up into a sitting position. "Well I thought you guys were fixing up your car _after_ school?."

"Life's full of surprises."

She grinned. "Was his dad not home or something? You know, so you and him could have-."

Grabbing a pillow, I hit her over the head with it. "Shut up! I'm not like that and neither is he."

"Hmm well I heard… never mind."

I froze. "You heard what?."

"I heard that Jacob gets around, you know with his good looks and that abtastic body of his."

My stomach dropped. It literally dropped. For real.

She burst out laughing. "JUST KIDDING! Oh my god you should've seen your face. Girl, you've got it hard for that boy. Hard I tell ya."

After I recovered from her 'joke', I proceeded to tell her how things went. From how awkward the rides were to how sweet he was to meeting his dad and finally to when my parents asked how I got the car fixed before school finished.

"What on earth did you tell them?."

I shrugged. "Told them I called up the company, got you to help me push the car out of the garage and that they picked it up, fixed it and brought it back."

"And they bought that?."

I remembered my dad's face. "Nah, I don't think my dad did. My mom couldn't care less, but he was giving me this scary look. Luckily you phoned me and ordered me down here."

She bit her lip as she sat down next to me on the bed. "What if you get grounded?."

"Grounded for what?."

"Nina life doesn't always go your way, life's hard. Your dad is going to ask you for proof and he's going to find out about Jacob, it's a small place, people talk."

I ran a hand through my hair. "But there's nothing he can do…"

She scoffed. "Believe me there is, he'll ground you for sure and you definitely won't be seeing Jacob again, he'll be watching. Some dad's are just like that."

I stood up and started to pace the room. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"Why not?."

Our eyes met. "Because I won't be seeing Jacob again."

"Nina believe me you will, that boy.. or should I say man?." She laughed. "Likes you."

Staring at her in disbelieve, I waved it off. "Sure he does. He's just a nice boy, no questions asked. Anyway." I glanced up at the clock. "I better get going, it's seven and I don't want to be walking the streets in the dark when there are… bears around."

"Why in the world did you walk anyway?," she asked in confusion.

Because I might bump into Jacob. "Because your house is nearby."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

By the time I finally made it out of Kara's house (her mom insisted that I have pizza with them) it was pretty much dark outside. La Push was a safe place though so I never felt afraid.

However I couldn't help but feel like someone was watching me as I made my way back home. The woods were just across the road from me and I wondered for a brief second whether there were any bears in there.

And by the time I got home, a whole bunch of feelings filled me, the most dominant one being fear of what my dad was going to say to me. Kara was right, he wasn't just going to let me away with this. I should've thought up a better excuse.

Out of the corner of my eye as I stood outside my hall door, I thought I saw movement. Snapping my head to the right, I saw someone standing by a tree in the woods, but it was too dark to see them clearly. What I did notice was that this person was tall, well built and had long dark hair.

From where I was standing, I could barely make out that they were wearing a pair of shorts, the only thing hiding their nakedness from me and as I studied their face carefully, a wave of fulfillment washed through me as our eyes met.

So familiar, so-. "Jac-."

I couldn't finish the sentence. Whoever it was, was no longer there. I was definitely losing it. What did I think I was doing, almost saying Jacob? He was in no way a stalker and what in the world would he be doing out in the woods directly across the road from my house.

I'm such a freak.

"Nina?."

I screamed. Spinning around on my heel- wince- to find my mom staring at me in confusion.

"What are you doing out here? Get inside before you catch a cold."

"Okay mom," I replied shakily. My whole body trembling.

With one last look behind me, I entered the house.

I was definitely going crazy.

**A/N: Phew! Got that chapter out. Again sorry it took ages for me to update, I promise it won't be that long again if you guys are still interested in the story. I'm in no way begging here but if you guys want me to continue with this story, let me know in a review since it's been so long and I have no idea if you guys want more updates.**

**Cheers.**


	7. Daddy's Little Girl

**A/N: WOW! The reviews I got for last chapter blew me away, I was thrilled you all wanted an update. Really inspiring! Thank you all so much. I tried to reply to you all but some of you aren't 'members' of so I couldn't. But thank you guys so much. And if there are any questions you'd like to ask me or any suggestions you'd like to make let me know. Cheers!**

**Chapter 7: Daddy's Little Girl**

"Ugh!," I whined as my alarm went off at six this morning. Normally, I'd just reach out and hit it to get the damn thing to shut up but this morning I wasn't going to ignore it— as much as I wanted to.

Last night I started feeling guilty over not paying Jacob a cent for fixing up my car. Even though he had told me that he didn't want any payment whatsoever. But I was raised better than that, and even if he genuinely didn't want money, I was going to pay him back whether he liked it or not.

So before I went to sleep, I set my alarm for six so I could make it down to Jacobs before school, because there was no way I was going to pay him _in_ school, what if someone saw? They'd probably tell my dad… okay they wouldn't, I'm just trying to convince myself that's the reason.

The real reason is that whenever I see Jacob, my heart does this jumpy thing and butterflies assault my stomach and I get all weak in the knees and words won't find their way out of my mouth so if I just put the money into his post box, I could avoid all that.

Not that I was trying to avoid Jacob in any way, I loved being around him. And now that I'm not, I have that weird incomplete feeling which doesn't make any sense but whatever.

All other thoughts pushed to the side, I was going to get dressed, get into my car and drive to Jacobs. He deserved my four- hundred dollars in savings, actually he deserved more but I was broke.

Oh well.

The drive didn't take long, neither did pulling on a pair of jeans and a white sweater before I left the house. Thankfully my foot was no longer sore and that I didn't have a bad hair day again. But I didn't matter whether my hair looked okay down today because I wasn't going to see Jacob, I was going to see his… post box.

Or maybe not.

"Nina? What are you doing here?," the all too familiar voice groggily asked as I started walking back to my car.

My face paled with shock. What was he doing up so early?

Turning around, I found him standing by the doorway of his house. For a person who had clearly just woken up, it was safe to say he looked good. More than good. His long hair was obviously tied back which revealed more of his beautiful face to me and he was half naked, a pair of grey shorts the _only_ piece of clothing on him.

I couldn't make out his expression though, he was too far away. Okay he wasn't really, maybe I just needed glasses…

"I um.. I just came because I eh.. wanted to repay you for fixing up my car," I said the last part really quickly, I wondered if he understood.

Glancing over his shoulder, he closed the door over behind him and started making his way over to me as I stood there shaking with nerves. The closer he got, the more clearer his features became. He looked taken aback, sad and as usual, concerned.

"I told you I didn't want money," he said softly.

Gulping, I replied. "But I couldn't just not give you anything."

He reached for his ponytail, running his fingers through his silky hair that hung over his shoulder, his hand quivering slightly. "No you could've Nina, you knew I didn't want anything in return."

"Either way, I needed to repay you."

His hand dropped to his side. "You don't ever have to repay me for anything."

"Even if you leant me a million dollars?," I smirked. My nerves finally fading away.

"Well." He smiled. "I haven't got a million dollars but you wouldn't have to repay me.. if I had it."

I sighed. "Last night, I just felt…"

He took a step closer to me, the inhuman warmth radiating off of him. "You felt what?."

Looking up into his eyes as they melted into mine, I had a funny feeling he meant something different by his question. "Guilty."

"Guilty?," he repeated. Shocked. "Why would you feel guilty? Did I make you feel guilty? Was it something I did?."

I shook my head. "No, no you didn't.. it was me.. I just.. after you fixing up the car and all, I felt the need to-."

"The need to what?," he breathed.

There was something in the way he said that, how it came out breathy and slowly, that had my knees turning to jelly. Somehow I was still standing which I was thankful for. But perhaps I was just over analyzing things as usual.

"The need to come here and pay you," I told him honestly. Diverting my gaze downwards.

With a sharp intake of breath, I felt his warm hand rest on my shoulder. "Look at me Nina," he said softly.

I looked up at him, my gaze drifting from his eyes to his lips. He was so close.

"I don't want you to ever feel guilty about repaying me okay? Because I'd never want anything in return, nothing."

I frowned. "But-."

"No buts, I fixed up the car because _you_ asked me to, because I wanted to for _you_, because _you_ are…" he paused, a small smile forming on his lips. "Nina."

In all honesty, I had no clue by what he meant at the end of his sentence. Yes, I was Nina but what had that got to do with anything? I'm nothing special, it's not like I'm famous or anything. Jacob definitely knew how to confuse me.

Before I had a chance to reply, his hand was no longer on my shoulder and he was no longer standing in front of me, instead he was over at the post box, taking the brown envelope out. I took that as my chance to ogle him for a moment.

He was back in front of me in an instant, pressing the envelope into my hand. "Take that back." He said, wrapping my fingers over it. "And promise me I won't ever see it again."

I took it back as soon as the words left his mouth, reminding myself of yesterday when I had gulped down the water he had told me to drink. It was strange, like whenever he told me to do something I took it as an order. An order that I'd obey to.

Kara would definitely call me a Jacob Black Obsessed Weirdo and she'd be more than right.

"I promise."

Then he smiled that trademark smile of his as his brown eyes bore into mine with that look. A look that had me feeling all lightheaded and dizzy. Making me want him more and more each time he gave me it. He was perfect.

I wish he was mine.

* * *

"You did WHAT!," Kara screeched as I filled her in on this morning. We were currently standing by her locker.

I blushed. "I left, I had to Kara, I couldn't bear being near him like that."

After I had made the promise to Jacob, he asked me to come inside and have breakfast with him to which I refused. We barely knew each other— which wasn't the point at all. The point was, I was overexcited by being near him and his half nakedness. And I knew that if I did take him up on his offer there would've been: awkward silences, meaningful gazes and drooling. Yup you never know, I may have drooled in front of him. Anything is possible with Jacob.

Ok honestly, I'm a complete idiot.

"Ouch!," I hissed as Kara hit me across the face. "That hurt!."

She smirked. "Well that's the first thing you've said that actually makes sense, maybe it worked."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"No missy, we'll continue this during lunch period. Oh by the way, since you've got a car now." She grinned evilly. "We can go shopping in Port Angeles."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What exactly are you implying?."

"Hmm I think you and I should head down there tonight."

"It's a school night," I said. Glancing down at my watch, two minutes till the bell rang. "And there's no way I'm sneaking out."

Kara slammed her locker shut. "Bet if Jacob Black-."

"Kara," I warned.

"Asked you to meet him in Seattle, half naked and all, you'd go. School night or not."

"Would not!," I lied. She was right, I would go. Jacob Black had me under his thumb.

Scoffing, she started to throw a smart remark back but a rock hard shoulder brushed past me, knocking me face down onto the floor. My forehead colliding with the solid ground.

"Nina! Oh my god! Are you okay?," Kara asked hysterically as she bent down, helping me back up.

Truth was, I wasn't okay. My forehead was throbbing, everything was spinning around in circles and I could hear my heartbeat loudly in my ears. Not to mention my stomach was turning…

"No," I whispered. Squeezing my eyes shut.

She threw my arm over her shoulder, helping me to my feet, just as the bell rang. "I'm taking you to the nurse."

For some reason, I didn't think I was going to be feeling better anytime soon but I was definitely not going to the nurses office. Yeah, it was a hard fall and I had a funny feeling it was done on purpose. Yet there was no way I was going to let Kara take me there.

Too bad I hadn't caught sight of whoever did this to me, then again maybe Kara did or maybe she hadn't, either way I was going to find out.

Whoever he was, was a jerk. He could've caused me serious damage.

"No don't, I'll be fine in a minute," I told her, my voice sounding ragged.

"Are you insane? You just hit your head off a tiled floor and you expect me to take you to class?."

I nodded, opening my eyes a crack. "Please Kara, I'll be fine besides." I forced a smile. "That had to knock some sense into me."

She chuckled. "Fine. But if you don't feel any better within the next ten minutes you better go see the nurse."

By the time I made it into class, my vision had returned back to normal but the nausea was still there, not that Mrs. Cook noticed. She was too busy marking papers as usual, only muttering a good morning to me as I entered.

Making my way to my desk, most of the students who were present watched me curiously. They had probably seen what had happened to me or they thought I looked like crap which I probably did. I just hated being the centre of attention.

They all needed to get a life… and so did I.

As I was flipping through the pages of my English book, my head snapped up at the sound of the most beautiful husky voice I had ever heard.

"Good morning Mrs. Cook," he said. Walking towards his desk, his long hair flowing behind him like a prince from a fairytale.

I couldn't help but stare, taking in everything about him. From his tight fitted brown t-shirt to his jean clad muscular legs. He was absolutely breathtaking. Any girl that dated him or (please don't let this be true) _is_ dating him, is the luckiest female to walk this earth.

Suddenly he stopped right by my desk, his eyes searching my face. "Are you okay?."

Blushing, I nodded. "Fine."

He frowned as he sat down at his desk that was next to mine. "You've got a bruise on your forehead, I didn't see that this morning."

I bit my lip. "Well-."

"Miss O'Neil and Mr. Black, please pay attention," Mrs. Cook warned, causing us both to stare ahead at the board. "Page fifty two is not over here, it's in your books. You'll both get detention if I catch you talking again. Mark my words."

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I opened up my English book on the page she told us to and sighed. This was going to be a long lesson.

Halfway through the period, I found myself swallowing back bile that was constantly rising up in my throat. On one hand, I wanted to leave the lesson and go home and on the other, I wanted to stay seated because Jacob was next to me.

Thoughts of throwing up all over my desk in front of him wasn't very nice though. Yet I still couldn't find it in me to tell Mrs. Cook how sick I felt. In the back of my mind I could hear Kara's high pitched voice ordering me to go to the nurses office but I ignored it.

If my parents only knew how bad I had it for Jacob… hell, if he only knew he'd be begging his dad to transfer him to Forks High. I wouldn't blame him.

"Nina," a familiar voice whispered.

Glancing to my right, I whispered back. "Yeah?."

Jacob's eyes were wide with worry and concern. "You're bleeding."

"Bleeding?," I repeated. Pressing my hand to my forehead, a drop of blood on my palm when I brought it back down.

Oh great.

"You told me you were fine." He seemed hurt. Although I was probably imagining that he cared.

"I was…" I trailed off. My stomach turning once again.

"Tell me what happened."

"It was nothing."

"It wasn't nothing, tell me."

"Forget it, I'm okay now."

"You're not okay, you're bleeding and you look like you're gonna be sick any minute now."

"It's just blood."

His desk started to rattle as his hands shook, an angry expression on his face. Did I say something wrong? Like I said, it was just blood. Nothing major.

"Blo-." He started but quickly shut his mouth when Mrs. Cook started lecturing the class, creating an awkward silence between us.

I could practically feel his eyes on me as I tried to concentrate on the lesson. But it was almost impossible. I could feel him. The warmth radiating off of his body, the way he had himself seated in a way that angled towards me and the sound of his breathing. It had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.

However, the period passed by quicker than I thought, basically all we were doing was a revision of yesterdays topic. So it wasn't too hard to catch up on what she was explaining after Jacob and I had been whispering. Besides English was my best subject, though I have a funny feeling that my grades will drop if I can't keep my eyes off a certain someone.

"Finally!," the douche bag who sat in front of me roared as the bell rang. He was such a jerk, don't even get me started with him.

He hung out with Kara's _biggest_ crush (yup, she liked a lot of guys) Nick. They thought they were all that, strutting down the corridors, posing during class, flirting on their lunch break. You get my point. What she saw in guys like that was beyond me.

"Nina, can I?."

Whipping my head to the left, I found Jacob bent down on one knee next to me, an unsure look on his face. "W-What?."

Licking his lips, he replied. "Can I… touch you?."

I found myself nodding before I even knew what part of me he wanted to touch. "Yeah."

Then, just like that, he was trailing his fingers over my bruised forehead, wincing to himself as he examined it. While I fought to keep my eyes open, his touch sending tremors down my spine. His skin so warm, his fingertips rough with use.

"Am I hurting you?," he asked softly as his brown eyes bore into mine.

"No," I whispered. My throat tight because he was actually touching me.

He dropped his hand, my body aching for his touch again. "What happened?."

"Someone bumped into me and I fell."

"Who was it? Who bumped into you?," he asked quickly.

I shrugged. "I didn't see him."

"Him?."

"Well yeah, I'm sure it was a guys shoulder not a girls."

His eyes took on a hard look. "Was your friend with you?."

"Yeah she was…"

He took my face into his hands. "Ask her who it was then tell me."

I gulped, getting over the shock of his hands on my face. "Why?."

"Because whoever it was is not getting away with it, I won't let them," he said firmly before dropping his hands and raising up to his full height. "I'll see you after school."

Staring at him with wide eyes as he gathered his things and left the classroom, I started to wonder whether he cared about me for real. That I wasn't just imagining things. After all, he was the only person who seemed concerned for me besides Kara.

Not only that but he cared enough to actually touch me! maybe falling wasn't such a bad thing after all…

Wait— was he going to beat the guy up for me?

* * *

"Nina, come in here a minute," my father called from the living room as I got home from school.

Oh hell no! I knew that tone of voice he just used, it was the interrogation voice. He'd use it on Joey if he'd gotten into trouble at school or with his friends. It was never good, and the look on his face was terrifying. Very intimidating.

As I dropped my schoolbag by the hall door, my thoughts drifted back to school. Jacob had told me that he'd see me after school but there was no sign of him anywhere after the English class we had together. Which was strange.

Jacob thoughts aside, the minute I saw Kara during lunch I asked her who had bumped into me and apparently she hadn't caught site of who it was to which pissed me off at the time. If she had been in my place I would've definitely made sure I saw who had bumped into her.

People were strange sometimes… including me.

"What's up dad?," I said casually. Pretending that everything was okay as I sat next to him on the couch.

He switched off the TV. "Don't play dumb with me."

I was taken aback by his smart answer. "Dad what-."

"I want to see the receipt."

"What receipt?."

"The receipt that proves you actually went to a garage and paid for the car to be fixed," he said. Looking me dead in the eye.

"Dad I-." he cut me off _again._

"Get it now!," he yelled. "I don't want to hear any of your excuses!."

My jaw dropped. "Do you think I fixed it myself or something?."

"Or something is damn right! Now get me the receipt young lady or I'm taking that car from you!."

Jumping up from the couch, tears clouding my vision, I replied in the smallest voice. "I don't have one."

He smirked. "Knew it. You took it to that man didn't you?."

"Man?."

"Yes, that man you were with the other night. A man who is at least ten years your senior! We raised you better than that Nina. He's only with you because you're young and foolish. Bet you believe it when he says he loves you. How long have you been with him?," he demanded.

For the first time in my life, I was speechless. So speechless that I couldn't even think up words. And the shock, the complete and utter shock that my father would accuse me of seeing an older man. The hurt that he called me foolish. It was all too much because none of it was true. None of it!

The only option now was for me to leave and that's exactly what I did. Ignoring my father's yelling, I ran up to my room, tears flowing down my cheeks as I locked my bedroom door and slid down it, crying into my hands.

At times like these, I felt one hundred percent ready to move out and get a place of my own. I was sick of being treated like a child, you'd think that by now my dad would realize that I've matured. That I've learnt my rights from wrongs. Apparently he hasn't.

I couldn't even think of something funny to lighten the mood.

Sometime after bawling my eyes out, I decided to leave my bedroom and tip toe down the stairs. My dad was watching some news channel, the volume up pretty high so as quietly as I could, I grabbed my car keys and slipped out of the house. Closing the hall door over silently.

If he thought for one minute that I was just going to lock myself up in my room, he was wrong. There was no way I would do that because he upset me, instead he should be the one doing it in shame. I was so tired of his nonsense.

Five minutes later and I pulled up outside the local store. Mom would definitely not make an appearance here considering she has to go pick up Joey and to be quite frank, I didn't want to see her at all. She always took my dad's side.

So with that, I got out of my car and headed inside. There wasn't anything I was looking for in particular, maybe just a few tubs of ice cream… and chocolate… and soda… and a magazine. Something to keep me entertained while I stay away from home for as long as I can.

The ice-cream will melt though.

When I reached the magazine stand down the end of the store, I couldn't reach the top row as I wasn't exactly tall. But there were no other magazines I was interested in so I decided to ask someone to grab it for me— it happens a lot.

"Nina."

Looking to my left, my eyes grew wide. "Jacob."

He smiled, his pearly whites on display. "Hey, didn't think I'd catch you here."

My eyes zeroed in on a claw-like mark on his chest, it looked a week old but I hadn't seen it this morning. Not to mention he was in a 'local store' half naked. The jeans he wore to school this morning looking more than a little muddy and his white Nike's were close to falling apart. It was… strange.

Then memories of the fight I had with my dad came rushing to the front of mind.

"I have to go," I said reluctantly. Turning away from him.

Suddenly he was in front of me, his smile faltering. "Why? You only just got here."

How did he… whatever. No matter what kind of effect his presence had on my body, I wasn't going to be seen here with him. "It's personal."

"Is it that guy who hurt you?," he asked through gritted teeth.

I shook my head. "No, it's just… I have to go."

"Wait." he gripped my shoulders. "Tell me what's wrong."

The feel of his hands on me sent electric jolts throughout my body, making me want to fall onto his bare chest and never leave. But I had to control myself. "Please just let me go."

His lips parted as his eyes took on that look, the look I couldn't put my finger on. "Nee just tell me, I need to know."

Nee… it was the sweetest nickname anyone has ever used on me, filling my heart with… love? For him. There was no way… I couldn't love… we barely knew each other… and the way he said it. It was almost like he adored— my imagination is running away with me.

Taking a deep shuddering breath, I looked into his deep brown eyes and told him something that would have me sobbing as soon as I left the store. "I- I can't be around you anymore."

Hurt flashed across his face. "You don't mean that."

I struggled to free myself from his hold but his hands moved over my shoulders, up my neck and onto the sides of my face. Giving me no choice but to stare into his eyes. "Jacob please."

He leaned down, pressing his forehead to mine as his long silky hair fell into his face, brushing off of my cheeks. "You don't want that, you want this. You want us."

The feel of his breath on my lips, had me struggling to find words. "It's not about what I want."

His hold on my face tightened, the tips of our noses touching. "Everything should be about what you want."

"Well it's not," I whispered. My arms laying limp at my side. "I have… I have to go."

"Nee, please."

I raised my hands to the space between us, pressing my palms to his firm chest. "I'm sorry Jacob."

Brushing my hair to the side, he pressed his lips to my ear. "We can make this work."

Absentmindedly, instead of pushing him away, my fingers started running over his chest at the feel of his plump lips against me. His skin so firm yet so soft and so so warm. I wanted to run away with him, I wanted to get out of this place, I wanted to _be_ with him. But life was never that easy.

So I started pushing him away again. "You have to let me go."

He finally budged and I brushed past him as fast as I could.

"Don't do this!," he begged as I rushed down an aisle, him following close behind.

"I have to."

"You don't."

"I do."

"I can make you happy."

I paused. "Y-You can't."

His fingers closed around my wrist, twirling me around to face him. "Look me in the eye and tell me that _you_ don't want to be around me."

It was a hard choice to make because it was all so unfair and so untrue. All I wanted was to be with him, the feeling I had when we were around each other was indescribable and I was starting to believe that he felt it too. Why else would he be so upset?

But I had to do this, all we were doing by being around each other was causing trouble between my parents and I. Jacob didn't have to live with them but I did, so I was taking the easy route out. I was pushing him away when I didn't want to, all in favor of my parents.

I was so messed up.

Looking him dead in the eye, I forced the words out of my dry mouth. "_I_ don't want to be around you Jacob Black."

He dropped my wrist as though it had suddenly burned him, his face paling with the realization of what I had just said. But I couldn't stand there any longer, watching him look like that, tearing me apart. So I turned on my heel, tears blurring my vision and ran breathlessly out of the store.

Leaving Jacob Black and my heart behind.


	8. Guilty

**A/N: THANK YOU! Thank you for the reviews, story alerts and favorites, it means so much. I replied to most of you except for the anonymous reviewers and maybe another few? I'm not sure, I'm sorry if I didn't reply but THANK YOU! You guys are all amazing.**

**Chapter 8: Guilty**

The night I told Jacob I didn't want to be around him, cut me to the core, ripped my heart out, had me sobbing uncontrollably into my pillow as I tried— failing miserably— to get to sleep. It was like all the warmth my body generated suddenly disappeared, leaving me cold and empty.

Because I lied. Because it was wrong. Because he didn't deserve it.

My feelings for him weren't normal, not in the least. I'd made him my whole world the instant our eyes met, yet I had no idea what his favorite color was… as a matter of fact I didn't really know anything about him except for the fact that he's stunning to look at and he's so unbelievably kind.

And just when I thought that maybe, just maybe we'd have the chance to get to know each other (nothing more, I wouldn't put my hopes up on a guy like him), my dad ruins absolutely everything. Because he's selfish.

So here I lay on a Thursday morning, ignoring the ringing of my mobile as I stare up at the ceiling. Kara was probably calling to see where I was but I couldn't find it in me to answer the call, I couldn't find it in me to do anything. School would have to start without me today (much to my mom's annoyance). There was no way I'd show my face after what happened yesterday.

And tomorrow and Monday and Tuesday— okay yeah, I'd have to go in tomorrow but I wish I didn't.

Reluctantly, slipping out of bed, I decided the best way to start the worst morning off would be to have a shower. Then grab some breakfast, watch TV, chill out in my room, surf the web… basically hibernate. I had a funny feeling I wasn't going to eat though.

Turns out, all I did was lay in bed and think, think, think. Sometimes with depressing music, sometimes with nothing. And when five o'clock rolled around, I heard my mobile beep with a new text message. As expected, it was Kara demanding I tell her what the hell is up with me.

"Nina." Mom poked her head into my room.

"What," I muttered. Turning on my side, facing away from her.

"Your father told me what happened."

"And?."

I heard her push the door open, her footsteps creaking against the floorboards as she made her way over to my bed, sitting down on the edge.

"We need to talk… about you."

Rolling back around to face her, I stared at her incredulously. "About me? what about me! I didn't do anything wrong!."

She sighed. "Even so, we still need to talk."

"Fine."

My mom never really intimidated me, mainly because she never acted like her true self. All she ever wants is my dad's approval so whatever she says to me or Joey, it's under the influence of dad. At times I pitied her, she was like a lovesick teenager, dying for a place in dad's heart. But at times like these, I despised her because she wasn't supporting me when she knew deep down that dad was wrong.

What if she had been in my place? I doubt she'd be able to handle it.

Sitting up against the headboard of my bed, I watched her ponder over her words before she finally broke the silence.

"Why can't you just.. focus more on school Nina? It's your last year and we need you to give it your all."

My jaw dropped. "Mom! I always focus on my studies, but you wouldn't know that…"

"Excuse me?."

"You never even bother to ask me how school is anymore, like when exactly was the last time I had a pop quiz?." A lost look washed over her face. "Exactly, you don't know."

"Nina I've been busy lately."

I rolled my eyes. "With what? Driving your car to pick up Joey?."

"Nina!," she snapped. "Don't speak to me like that."

"Whatever mom, point is, I _do_ focus on my studies."

She ran a hand through her hair. "You're also focusing on Jacob."

"Jacob's my friend," I defended.

"He isn't looking for friendship! He's a young man, a young man with _nothing_! Absolutely nothing to offer you!."

"What do you mean?," I asked. My voice an octave lower than normal.

Looking me dead in the eye, she said. "Jacob Black is part of a gang run by someone named Sam Uley. He lives in a rundown home with his father and missed tons of school! He isn't even interested in college! He's going to be here for the rest of his life and I don't want any of that for you. None of it!."

My mind was trying to grasp all the newly required information my mom had thrown at me. Jacob was in a gang? What kind of gang? Gangs were usually bad news. But I couldn't see Jacob being in a bad gang. He was too nice, too perfect.

"I don't believe you."

Her eyes widened. "You don't believe what?."

"That he's in a gang."

"Do you think I'm making this up? Nina La Push is a small town! I've asked about him, and everyone has the same thing to say. I'm only doing what's best for you."

"Best for me? Mom we're not engaged for crying out loud! He's not even my boyfriend! What's wrong with you?." She was really taking it too far this time. Even if Jacob and I were dating (ha ha, in my dreams) it's highly unlikely he'd propose. What are we? Like eighteen.

"I just don't want you with him, besides he's too old for you. He's probably twenty-five but because he didn't bother going to school before, he's doing it now. It's a disgrace if you ask me."

Basically, my mom was saying that Jacob was poor, ignorant, old, indignant and to put it simply: bad news. It just shows me how shallow she really is, dad is probably the same. I couldn't care less if Jacob was living in a shack, hell I'd happily live in it with him if it meant being his— okay a shack is going too far but you get my point.

It's not about what you've got and what you haven't got, it's about the person you are on the inside. And by the looks of things, Jacob and his father were better people than my parents.

"Well if it makes any difference, I told him I don't want to talk to him anymore," I told her bitterly.

"You won't regret it," she said. Giving me a meaningful look before getting up and leaving without another word.

A sickening feeling overcame me as I replayed our whole conversation in my head. 'You won't regret it' was all she had to say? She didn't care whether I was hurting or not? And to think I said what I said to Jacob yesterday was because of her and dad…

All I wanted to do was run away but I couldn't. I was hopeless.

* * *

Friday came quicker than I thought and much quicker than I would've liked. I was worried sick about seeing Jacob in English class, the guilt would be evident on my face. But despite all my worrying, he never turned up.

On one hand I was relieved that I wouldn't have to see him and on the other I was disappointed because— do I even have to explain? He was the kindest, sweetest, loveliest, most gorgeous guy that I've ever known.

And I pushed him away.

Kara was shocked when I filled her in on everything. She couldn't get over the fact that I lied to Jacob's face just to please my parents. And, she was disgusted by the conversation my mom and I had. Telling me my mom was a snob for talking about Jacob like that.

That was probably one of the first times I've ever let someone talk badly about my parents and let them get away with it. Kara was right, my mom was a snob and so was my dad. A pity I hadn't realized it sooner.

"So Nina, there's going to be a bonfire on First Beach tonight, you'll be there won't you?," Kara asked hopefully as I pulled up outside her house. Ever since I had gotten my car fixed by— lalala— I refused to let her take the school bus home.

"I don't know," I said honestly.

"Please," she begged. "It'll be fun. It's just a bunch of kids from school chilling out and it's not a school night so please? You'll enjoy it."

With a sigh, I replied. "Fine."

She threw her fist up in the air, hitting it against the dashboard. "Ouch! Jeez. Anyway I'll meet you there at eight, don't be late."

"Sure."

"Hey that rhymed." She giggled.

"Kara are you getting out or are you-."

"Oh yeah sorry, see you later alligator!." And with that she hopped out, slammed the door shut and ran up the pathway to her house as I chuckled to myself. She was definitely one of the most hyperactive girls I've ever met in my life.

When I got home, there was nobody there (Thank God!) so I decided to make myself something to eat. To be honest I wasn't the best cook out there, simply because I was lazy. No matter how many times mom would suggest I watch her prepare something, I'd get distracted by something like a new text message.

But one thing I could cook which I was very proud of was— FRIED EGGS! Yep, probably the easiest thing to cook. Why? Because there were no ingredients. Me and ingredients didn't mix well together… even though that didn't make any sense.

Halfway through eating my fried egg sandwich, I suddenly felt nauseous. And as weird as it sounds, I knew it was because of Jacob. Yeah, I was perfectly aware that I was crazy but that much was true. It was because of him.

Why didn't he come to school today? I felt the sudden need to go check on him, see if he's alright.

Then something happened which brought me back to my crappy reality: Dad was home.

"Nina." He nodded in my direction as he went over to the fridge.

An awkward silence followed.

"Are you going to finish that?," he asked. Nodding towards the plate on the table in front of me with my half-eaten sandwich as he sat down across from me.

Silence.

He sighed. "Nina you can't keep this up."

"Can't keep what up?."

"Ignoring me, it's completely uncalled for."

"Uncalled for?," I asked incredulously. "You're unbelievable."

"I spoke to you the other day because I _had_ to. That's what parents are for Nina."

I shook my head. "You didn't speak to me, you yelled. Big difference."

His eyes narrowed. "Either way, I got the point across."

"What point? Oh you mean the point where you accused me of lying? The point where you accused me of doing something I didn't do. Yeah, you're right, you did get the point across."

"You know what I'm implying," he said firmly.

"Didn't mom tell you what I did yesterday?."

"Yes and I'm very proud of you."

Heartless was what him and mom were. Heartless!

"It's because you both disapprove of him isn't it? Admit it."

"Of course we disapprove of him, he's older than you!."

"That's not the only reason dad, you and mom don't like him because he's not rich, because and I quote 'He has nothing to offer me'. That's why isn't it?." My whole body was shaking with the anger I withheld for the past two days.

"As a matter of fact Nina, that's just another black mark to his name but what I'm concerned about most is his age. There is no way he's eighteen, no matter what anyone says. You've seen the size of him, he was towering over us both that night he dropped you off. _Supposedly_ out of kindness."

"Supposedly?."

He nodded. "I saw the look on his face that night Nina, the way he looked at you… it was all wrong. You shouldn't be around a man like him and I won't allow it."

For the second time in a row, I couldn't take listening to my father talk nonsense anymore so I did what I did the other day. I got up and walked away without another word. Only this time, he never said anything.

I knew what he was getting at. He thought that that night Jacob dropped me home, it hadn't been out of the kindness of his heart, it was because he wanted me— if you get what I mean.

But Jacob was _nothing_ like that.

* * *

The bonfire was… crowded. Definitely not what I expected, hadn't Kara said a 'bunch' of kids from our school were going? Yeah, well it looked like the entire school was there and that was not an exaggeration.

There was bonfire after bonfire after bonfire all the way down the beach. Teenagers all gathered around, laughing, talking, joking while some danced to the blaring music that blasted out of stereos some of them had brought.

Times like these had me shaking with nerves and I knew if my little brother Joey was around, he'd say I was green in the face. Speaking of Joey, he had witnessed our mom and dad interrogating me before I left the house. He'll probably start eavesdropping from now on.

Lucky I wasn't the type to leave the house in miniskirts and flashy tops, instead opting for a pair of jeans, a brown tank top and black cardigan. They definitely wouldn't have let me out dressed in the former, they'd probably think I was 'dressing for Jacob'.

Give me a break.

Nearing the end of the long line of bonfires, I spotted Kara situated at the second last one, chilling with a bunch of students I had classes with.

"The beach is looking very deserted tonight," I said sarcastically as I plopped down on the sand next to her.

"Nina!." She gave me a quick hug. "What took you so long?."

"Kara it's eight-oh-five."

She rolled her eyes. "It feels like forever when I'm stuck here with." Her voice went down a notch. "These."

In truth, the group we were stuck with weren't half as bad as some of the others. Yeah, they were loud but I could deal with it. After all, anything is better than sitting at home with my parents and their ridiculous ideas.

Did I mention how heartless they were? Oh right, never mind.

"Hey girls, what's cracking?." A girl from my Art class I knew as Samantha asked friendlily as she sat down in front of us. Her almond eyes glassy.

"The fire," Kara joked.

Samantha laughed before holding out a silver flask. "It'll lighten the mood."

"What's in it?," I questioned. Already having an idea.

"Nothing strong." She grinned.

Kara and I both shook our heads 'no'.

"Well if you happen to change your mind later, just ask." With that, she left.

I sighed. "Can't they just enjoy themselves without drinking?."

"Whatever." Kara shrugged. "It's not like they're going to stop."

So I scrutinized every one of them under the influence of alcohol. They all seemed happy, without a care in the world and to think that it wasn't real was a shame. Drinking was never something I'd consider doing regularly. Maybe when I'm older I'll have a glass of wine now and then but not obsessively.

Besides, if I was drinking now, my parents would be outraged and I wouldn't blame them— I swear that's the only thing I'd agree with them on.

A nudge in my side brought me out of my thoughts. "What?," I hissed.

She chuckled. "Up for a game of Truth or Dare?."

"I… don't… I."

"Please?," she begged.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

Much to my surprise, the game was mostly a lot of fun. People did a lot of silly dares whilst others revealed a lot more about themselves in truth than we would've liked. But either way I was having a good time.

When it came to me, I always chose truth because well I didn't want to do something retarded. Like run into the sea in my underwear, besides they were only doing the things they were doing because they were drunk.

The fourth time it came to me, I decided to take a chance.

"Truth or Dare Nina?," a guy named Kai asked.

"Dare." I grinned.

A chorus of 'Ooohs' echoed throughout the group. Kara shot me an unsure look.

"I dare you," Kai started. "To kiss Louis for ten seconds straight."

My face paled. "But-."

"No buts, it's a dare, you asked for it."

I couldn't do it, there was no way I would kiss Louis, not even for a split second. It was just wrong, I had a bad feeling about it, like I'd be betraying someone or something.

"Come on Nina, I'm right here," Louis said. Giving me a wink.

His thin lips, pointy nose, snaky eyes and disheveled curly hair didn't help. He wasn't even my type. Everything about him screamed: Arrogant.

"Nina! Hurry up," Samantha yelled. Taking a swig out of the silver flask.

Forcing myself to block all thoughts from my mind, I sucked in a deep breath before leaning towards Louis. He was sitting across from me, a glint in his eyes that I didn't like. But again, I pushed that thought aside.

"Hey," he whispered. Placing his hands on either side of my waist as he leaned in, the stench of the alcohol on his breath.

We were so close, if I leaned in just a little our lips would be touching but I didn't want it to be him or his lips, I wanted it to be Jacobs. His breath always smelt clear… fresh with this sweetness to it. Oh how bad I wanted to kiss him and his plump lips… how bad I wanted to taste him.

Before I leaned in any closer, my eyes caught onto to someone standing a few yards away by the tree line that lead into the woods. He stood there, frozen like a statue as his hair blew freely in the wind. Despite the cool night air, he was naked except for a pair of ratty old cut offs, yet he never showed any sign of the weather effecting him.

Our eyes met and the world stood still for a moment.

Jacob.

"I'm sorry, I can't," I mumbled. Pulling away from Louis much to everyone's surprise.

"What the fuck? Am I that unattractive to you? Well screw you Nina! Bitch!."

But his words didn't hurt me, he meant nothing to me and I was hurting enough as it was, especially after seeing Jacob standing there.

Standing up and walking over to Samantha, I snatched the silver flask from her hand. "I need this."

Her eyes widened in shock before a small smile formed on her face. "I knew you'd come around."

Without another word, I started walking away from the group. Kara never made any advance to follow me, knowing that I'd only push her away. It's been like this for a while, all the fun and humor had been sucked out of me.

Even though she noticed, she never said anything. Why? Because that's what best friends are for.

After about twenty minutes of walking, I found a secluded part of the beach. The only sound was the waves crashing against the shore, a relaxing sound. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd do anything like this. Hell, it had only been a while ago when I refused the flask from Samantha.

It's funny how no matter how much time passes, your mood can change in an instant.

Settling myself on the sand and leaning back against a large rock, I opened up the silver flask and took a sip. The alcohol burned but that didn't stop me. I kept at it and at it until I didn't care about anything anymore. Until I felt indifferent. Until I felt completely numb.

My whole body felt weak, it was hard keeping my eyes open but who cared anyway? All my parents cared about was money. All Kara cared about was Nick. All Jacob cared about was.. I didn't know.

I didn't know and I didn't care and I just wanted to get the hell out of here!

Truth was I did care. I cared so much about him for some unknown reason but I hurt him, even though all he's ever been to me was kind. He even fixed up my car when he hadn't fixed up a car in over a year or more. And that was how I repaid him?

Maybe I was the selfish one here, not my parents. After all, they didn't order me to tell Jacob that I couldn't be around him, it was my idea. My stupid, messed up, ignorant idea. An idea that came to me which I used without even thinking it through.

He had said that I wanted this, that I wanted 'Us', what did he mean by that? Was it meant to be friendly? The feel of his lips and hot breath against my ear didn't feel friendly. And my feelings for him certainly weren't friendly but I doubt his feelings mirror mine.

And how was I supposed to fix everything?

So many questions. So many unknown answers. So confusing.

Sometime afterwards, I must've passed out from the tiredness and all the deep thinking I was doing. Because I dreamt about something that made me feel wanted. That made me feel that this is the reason I'm living. That this is where I belong.

My cheek was pressed up against something soft and warm, that smelled of nature; like grass and wood and musk. I found myself leaning into it, relishing in the feel of its perfectness. My hands running over the warm softness unconsciously as it pulled me in closer. Protecting me.

The sound of the sea disappeared completely, replaced with the sound of twigs snapping and a howl in the distance. Yet, I didn't feel afraid because I had the warmth to protect me. I trusted in it, it owned me.

This wonderful dream lasted for a very long time and when I felt myself being placed somewhere cold, the heat withdrawing, my eyes remained closed but my hands reached out, wanting the heat back. Without it I felt alone… unwanted.

A sigh escaped my lips as it pressed against my side, the heat strongest against my neck. Something caused a tickling sensation on my chest and I liked it because whatever it was, it belonged to the heat.

My grip on the all consuming heat weakened as I relaxed with the feel of it against me. I felt irrevocably drawn to it, my whole body aware of it as the heat shifted now and then. The feel of it lulling me to a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, the heat left a souvenir behind on my chest: A silky black strand of hair.

* * *

**Note: I am not encouraging underage drinking by any means whatsoever.**

**Also, you DO know who The Heat is right? *wink wink***


	9. Mystery Man

**A/N: Your reviews? They blow me away! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope you guys enjoy this. And to my anonymous reviewers, your reviews mean so much to me, wish I could reply to them.**

**Cheers everyone!**

**Chapter 9: Mystery Man**

The weirdest thing happened to me this morning, I woke up cuddling Fifi; a childhood teddy bear of mine. How it made its way into my arms, I'm still trying to figure out. From what I remember, the very last time I cuddled it, I was eight years old. One of my friends found out I slept with it every night and well she laughed. So ever since then, I'd keep Fifi around, just not in my bed.

However, today she ended back up in my bed much to my confusion. But then again a lot of things confused me this morning, starting from how I got home last night. I hadn't got the slightest clue because apparently it's true- too much drinking results in complete wipe out of your memory from the minute the alcohol effects your brain.

My money was on Kara though, she must've found me in that deserted part of the beach by some sort of luck and out of the kindness of her heart, she also left me a reminder; a long, silky black hair which had been laying right across my chest ten minutes ago.

Digging into the pockets of my jeans (yes, I slept fully clothed. Comfortable eh?), I retrieved my mobile to find twenty-three missed calls by the one and only: KARA!

"Good morning," I said musically as Kara answered her phone.

"_Good_ morning? You have got to be kidding me, where the heck where you last night! I looked everywhere and I mean everywhere, from First Beach to Second Beach! What the heck Nina! I nearly had a heart attack, I thought you were kidnapped or something. And so I phoned your-."

I cut through her frantic blabbering. "Okay slow down, you couldn't find me?."

"No! I phoned your parents-."

"What!," I screeched.

"Don't worry, they're not mad at you or anything. Want to know why? Because you were in bed when they peeped into your room! Like how did you get home? Don't tell me you walked, that's psycho."

"You mean, _you_ didn't take me home?," I asked carefully. Blood draining from my face.

She sighed audibly. "No and if this is supposed to be funny, it's not."

A long silence followed as I tried to wrap my head around the fact that Kara— my best friend— was not the one who took me home. Now I know I did say that I couldn't remember a thing, but I'm almost certain that I didn't take myself home.

"Um Nina?."

"Who took me home Kara?."

"Well how in the world am I supposed to know the answer? I wouldn't be asking in the first place if I did."

I bit my lip. "Look I'm going to ask mom, I'll talk to you later."

"Right, just don't… run away or get kidnapped before later okay."

With a forced laugh I promised her I wouldn't before tossing my mobile onto the bed.

Mom was in the kitchen frying eggs, while Joey sat crossed legged on the floor of the sitting room watching TV. Dad was probably in bed considering it's his day off work and guess what? I was happy! Surprise, surprise.

As much as I hated mom for sticking up for dad, I knew that deep down she wasn't as bad as she made herself look. Yeah, I was still miffed by what she said about Jacob two days ago but I wouldn't be getting any answers if I ignored her.

"Morning," I mumbled. Slipping into a chair at the kitchen table.

"Good morning, sleep well?," she asked as she set down a glass of juice in front of me.

I shrugged. "I suppose."

"That's good." She smiled. Maybe she was happy I wasn't ignoring her? who knows.

"Hey mom?."

"Hmm?," she sounded. Opening up the fridge.

"Um… do you… who took me home last night?."

Spinning around on her heel to face me with a look of shock, she blurted. "Were you drinking last night?."

My jaw dropped. YES!. "No."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Be honest."

"Mom!." I never in my entire life took a sip of alcohol (before yesterday) and she knew that so for her to actually think I was drinking was quite offensive _even_ if she was right. "I was tired, really tired and I fell asleep and next of all I'm in my room and I'm confused and I don't know how I got home."

Taking a seat across from me at the table, she started biting her nails— a bad habit of hers. "Kara phoned your father and I last night. She was worried sick about you, saying you walked away and when it was time to leave she couldn't find you. Of course we panicked, ran into your room and there you were. Sound asleep. That's all I know."

Suddenly, I remembered my car. "My car!."

"Your car is outside, saw it when I took out the trash."

I ran a hand through my hair in exasperation. "I did _not_ drive that home last night."

"Maybe you did honey, you were tired and sometimes people forget things when they're tired." She offered.

"Mom, I'm not one those people."

"Nina, listen to me, the only person who could've taken you home last night was Kara. So if it wasn't her, then it had to be you. Unless you were hit over the head which I doubt. Why would someone hit you over the head to take you home? Okay I sound ridiculous but you get my point. It'll probably come back to you later, it's early. Only nine in the morning."

I suppose mom did have a point. After all, who would've cared enough to take me home except Kara? No one. Yet, I still couldn't face the fact that I took myself home because… I didn't. I'm one-hundred-point-five percent sure I didn't, drink driving was very bad and illegal. And even in my drunken state, I'm positive a part of me would've refused to drive under the influence of alcohol.

Also, if I had gone home by myself, my parents would've heard me come in considering our hall door makes this loud squeaky sound when you push it open. Then again, maybe they wouldn't have and I did in fact get home by myself last night.

Still can't believe it.

"Whatever, you're probably right."

She smiled. "Mommy's always right."

Yeah, like I believe that.

* * *

At around three-thirty in the afternoon, I was making my way down to Kara's in my car. By the looks of things, dad wasn't taking my car from me unless he saw me with Jacob again. Which was mean, selfish and ridiculous, but at least I had the car.

Speaking of Jacob, it was all his fault that I ran off last night— okay it wasn't really. The feelings that erupted from within me the moment our eyes made contact was incredibly wonderful, something I would always cherish. And thanks to him, I didn't go through with the dare.

I still felt terribly guilty for what I said to him-

"Oh my god!," I screamed. Slamming on the brakes.

The guy from my English class, Embry Call (Jacobs friend) ran out in front of my car as I turned a corner. I had absolutely no idea what he'd be doing on an empty road with the woods on each side. From my point of view, it wasn't the safest area of La Push. But there he was, sprinting across the road, so close to getting knocked down. By me!

Once my car came to a halt, he shot me a worried look. "Sorry."

I rolled down my window. He was standing as still as a statue by the side of the road. "Sorry?," I repeated. "Jeez, I could've killed you Embry. What the heck are you doing out here in." I gestured to his half nakedness. "Nothing."

"I'll tell you some other time," he said quickly. "I have to go. Sorry."

Before I had the chance to say anything back, he ran into the woods. It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen— apart from the time when I saw Jacob running down the road, taking off his shirt as my mom drove Joey and I home. Wasn't Embry with him then too?

Which reminds me of the night I walked home from Kara's and thought I saw Jacob in the woods across the road from my house. I thought I was seeing things with all the obsessing I do over him, but now I'm starting to think that maybe I did see him.

That's be creepy though. Why would he be watching me? Okay, I was probably seeing things. However this whole Embry incident is quite a coincidence.

Weird.

"Okay so let me get this straight. You saw Jacob watching you one night, You magically appeared in your room last night and you almost killed a half-naked Embry Call… twenty minutes ago. What does that sound like?," Kara questioned.

I sunk deeper into the armchair in her living room. "It sounds… odd?."

She shook her head as she sat on the sofa across from me. "It sounds like you've lost your mind."

"Kara! I'm not making this up."

"I know, I know, but it's really weird. Not to mention that Jacob was also half-naked while he was watching you. You're not adding that part to spice the story up are you?."

"Story? Fine, whatever, forget it."

Switching off the TV, she watched me skeptically. "You really don't know how you got home last night?."

With a shake of my head, I sighed. "No."

"Do you want to call the police or something?."

"And tell them what exactly? That someone was kind enough to take me home?"

She chuckled. "Okay not the best idea. Was there anything odd in your room, in your car? Anything out of place?."

Zoning out for a minute, I thought deeply. The whole cuddling Fifi to me was odd, the fact that my window was unlocked was odd and… there was something else, something that I noticed when I woke up… oh my god!

"There was a strand of hair on my chest when I woke up!."

"And what's odd about that?."

"It wasn't mine! It was a long, silky black hair, I thought it was yours but it couldn't have been."

She rolled her eyes. "Nina that doesn't explain anything, you're just over-reacting now."

I sighed. "This sucks."

Wasn't there anything I could remember? Wouldn't I have remembered at least something? If I could remember even one second of last night it _may_ be of some help to me, I might be able to put everything together. To make some sense out of all this.

But apparently my brain could only remember the burning taste of the alcohol as it touched my tongue for the first time. In other words, I couldn't remember a thing and I doubt after all the time that's passed, I'll remember who took me home.

Why can't I just forget about it? Oh yeah, because it's way too bazaar.

"Um.. I need the bathroom, I'll be one minute," I said. Standing up to my full height.

"Okie dokie." Kara smiled. "You just better not be taking any pregnancy tests. God knows, you could've been with someone last night but you can't remember."

I chuckled. "Don't worry."

In the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and stood over the sink, looking at myself in the mirror— no, I wasn't checking myself out by any means whatsoever. Sometimes I'd just stare at my reflection when things were complicated.

Noticing a red mark on my shoulder (I was wearing a black tank-top, my hoodie was downstairs), I brought my hand up to touch it. That's when it happened.

Flashes of last night came rushing to the front of my mind: my hand brushing over warm skin; the sound of the sea disappearing; my cheek resting against a chest; warmth surrounding me; a wolf's howl in the distance; heat pressed against me as I lay in bed and the feeling of being wanted.

I quickly turned the tap on, splashing water over my face as I tried to make sense of everything. What was all that supposed to mean? I couldn't really make out anything because all I remembered were sounds and feelings, no images.

Someone had definitely… carried me home. Someone warm and strong. Someone who had made me feel special, for a reason unknown to me.

All I was sure of was that it was man.

* * *

It was nine o'clock at night and I was driving aimlessly around La Push, my mind focusing on what I'd remembered earlier in Kara's. I'd never remembered anything like that before, how it came flashing into my mind was strange.

I hadn't told Kara about it, there was something that felt wrong about telling her yet I didn't know why I felt that way. A part of me felt guilty for keeping it from her and another part of me— the more dominant part— felt I'd be making a mistake by telling her, which sounded like complete nonsense but I believed it.

Besides, she probably wouldn't have took it seriously.

Pulling over into the only parking space available nearby the local store, I hopped out of my car and headed over to buy some groceries mom had asked me to buy when I left for Kara's earlier today.

Memories of the day I told Jacob that I didn't want to be around him anymore came back to me as I entered the store. A friendly cashier smiled over at me as I picked up a basket, she went by the name Leona. I'd spoken to her a few times, I just hoped she hadn't seen or heard about Jacob and I.

Shopping for everything was easy, considering there wasn't much on the list and I was on my way out of the store in no time.

The cold air hit me as soon as I walked outside into the night. There wasn't a soul in sight, probably all cooped up in their warm homes with their families. In the distance, I could hear thunder. Nothing out of the usual for La Push.

So I walked back down the way I came from. My footsteps sounding louder in the deserted street. Glancing down at my watch, it read nine-thirty which meant my parents were probably wondering where I was, too bad I forgot my cell in the car-

"Oh!," I gasped as a large hand reached out, pulling me into an embrace I could only describe as a bear hug. Causing the paper bag to fall to the ground.

"Nina," he sighed. His arms wrapped tightly around me, lifting me off my feet.

The first thing that entered my head was warmth— wonderfully familiar warmth. Not; scream or a stranger just pulled me into an alleyway to hug me, which is what normal people would do. No, I stood there and let him hold me because I knew who he was.

"Jacob," I whispered against his clothed chest.

His fingertips dug into my back in a way that didn't hurt, it just felt right. Relaxing into his embrace, I breathed in his earthy scent. He smelt of; grass, wood and musk. There was also something familiar about that but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I've missed you so much," he breathed against my ear just as a flash of lightening brightened the sky.

I pressed my hands against his abdomen, pushing him away slightly so I could look up into his handsome face. He obliged, setting me down on my feet before taking a step backwards. Leaving a small space between us. The heat emanating from his body overwhelming. Abnormal.

Looking up into his eyes in the darkness of the alley, I noticed the dark circles under them which I assumed were a result from a lack of sleep. He looked stressed out, miserable. I hated to see him like that, I wanted to put a smile on his face. I wanted to kiss his pain away…

"Jacob I-I… I don't know where to start," I said in a small voice. I couldn't just say 'I'm sorry', he didn't deserve two words.

He cupped my cheek in his warm hand. "You don't need to say anything, Nina."

"I do.. you didn't deserve that.. you didn't deserve to be treated that way."

"It's okay," he said softly. His thumb running over my cheekbone.

I leaned into his touch. "I didn't mean what I said, I'm so sorry."

He pressed his free hand against the other side of my face as he looked deep into my eyes. "Nina, I understand."

"You're too good to be true," I smiled. Feeling emotional over the fact that he wasn't holding anything against me.

He chuckled before burying his face into the crook of my neck. Wrapping his strong arms around me, enveloping me in his heat. My body flush against his.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I rested my chin on his shoulder, just as the rain started to pour from the sky. But not even being poured on could ruin this moment, in fact it just made it all that more special.

Jacob's holding me, Jacob's holding me, Jacob's holding me, were the only words running through my mind. A small smile on my face at the _whole_ feeling I had while we were together. It was incredible.

Before I chickened out, my shaky hands found their way into his long black hair. It was so smooth, so soft. I could run my hands through it all day and never get bored. As a matter of fact I could run my hands all over _him_ all year and I wouldn't get bored— in my dreams.

We held onto each other for a long time after that. Our bodies drenched by the rain, his bodily warmth the only thing stopping me from shivering.

"I just want us to be friends," he whispered against my neck. His hands roaming up and down my back.

"My parents…" I trailed off. Clutching at his white t-shirt, never wanting to let go.

"What they don't know won't hurt them."

"It's not that easy," I sighed. Pressing my cheek to his shoulder, my eyes closing.

He pressed his lips to my ear, his hot breath making me dizzy. "Meet me at First Beach tomorrow at eight."

I froze. "Jacob I-."

Shushing me, he continued. "I'll prove to you that anything is possible. Just be there."

Footsteps sounded nearby, causing me to pull away from his embrace. He stared at me confusedly as I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering with the cold.

"Jacob!," a voice boomed down the alley. A tall half-naked man appearing. It was hard to make out his face in the dark and lashing rain.

Jacob turned to look at him. "Sam."

"Let's go, it's urgent," Sam ordered.

"But," Jacob started. Glancing over at me. "I-."

"Come on, we're wasting enough time as it is!."

"Alright, just… give me a minute."

Sam nodded before turning on his heel and running off. Wasn't the fact that they all ran around barely clothed, the weirdest thing?

Suddenly, I was wrapped up in Jacob's arms again. Flashes of last night came rushing to my mind: a hot body against mine; the feeling of smooth, warm skin; soft hair tickling my chest; the heat overwhelming.

"I have to go," he said softly.

The flashes left me confused. There was something I was missing. It was like my mind was trying to tell me something, yet I couldn't figure it out. Everything I remembered seemed so familiar. The fact that I couldn't put the pieces together frustrated me.

I answered Jacob anyway. "I k-know."

"You're freezing," he stated. Holding me closer, crushing me against his chest as my teeth chattered. "I'll take you to your car."

"No, I'll b-be fine. Sam n-n-needs you."

He pulled away, running the back of his hand down the side of my face. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded. "Tomorrow."

"And Nina?."

"Yeah?."

His eyes melted into mine. "I can make you happy."

With one last smile, he gave me a dreamy look before running off down the alley, into the night. My heart hammering in my chest with the very last words he'd said to me. And a headache surfacing because I needed to understand what the flashes meant.

Meeting Jacob on the sly tomorrow wouldn't be easy, in fact it'd be quite difficult. But he was worth it.

He was always worth it.

* * *

That night, after another interrogation from my parents (this time was why in the world was I drenched. My answer? I couldn't find my car keys), I headed up to bed.

Kicking off my soaked jeans and throwing them into the hamper, I unzipped my hoodie. It was white in color, which made the tiniest little thing stand out, for example: Dust and stains. But those two weren't what caught my eye when I folded it.

No, what caught my eye was a long, silky black strand of hair.

The very same strand I found on my chest when I woke up this morning. A strand that belonged to the person who took me home last night. A person who had held me in their arms, saw me in one of my worst states and had the warmest, smoothest skin I'd ever touched. A person who made me feel wanted and secure.

A person who lay in _my bed_, against me, until I fell asleep.

Jacob Black.


	10. Knowing Me, Knowing You

**A/N: I know, I know, this update is late, I'm really sorry. Forgive me?**

**Your reviews are fabulous! I tried to reply to you all, if I didn't, I'm really sorry. And to my anonymous reviewers out there, THANK YOU!**

**So without further ado…**

**Chapter 10: Knowing me, Knowing you**

Please don't let them catch me. Please don't let them catch me. Please don't let them catch me.

Sneaking out at a quarter to eight wasn't something I was good at. Hell, I wasn't even okay at it, I absolutely sucked. Never in my life had I snuck out of home to go meet a boy. A boy my parents both disapproved of.

A boy I was unexplainably drawn to.

He'd asked me to meet him at First Beach at eight and there was no way I was going to let my parents hold me back from this golden opportunity. Alright, it wasn't what normal people would call 'golden' but I wasn't normal was I?

No. I was obsessed, possibly in love with a boy-man that I barely knew. At night I'd lay awake fantasizing about him, I'd dream about him in my sleep, I'd think about him all day long. It was kind of starting to effect my friendship with Kara. There she'd be, telling about an important moment in her life and I'd zone out. Thinking only of him.

Then last night, he pulled me into his arms down a dark alley and told me to meet him today. Oh and the highlight of the night? When I got home and found a strand of hair from his head on my hoodie that was identical to the one I found on my chest that morning.

Now most people would think I was insane for assuming that both strands of hair were identical, but they hadn't experienced those flashes I had been getting. If the strands were both from the same person, It would explain everything.

It would explain the warmth, the soft skin, the _whole_ feeling I had that night.

Running down the road towards First Beach, I wondered where exactly I was supposed to meet Jacob. He hadn't said anywhere in particular, I guess he didn't have to. I'd recognize him a mile away, I was _that_ crazy about him.

Maybe he knew?

"Nina!."

I had just reached the beach and considering I couldn't spot Jacob anywhere, I decided to take a walk along the shoreline in hopes that he'd appear somehow. And he did, even though it was pitch dark at just five minutes past eight, I could make out his muscular psych running towards me.

His silky black hair shone under the moonlight as it flowed behind him. The burning stars in the sky gave a glow to his half naked body, defining each and every muscle as I stood there breathless by his beauty.

I'd have to start accepting the fact that no matter how many times I'd see him, he'd always take my breath away.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," he apologized once he'd reached me.

He was apologizing for what? A seven minute delay? Why is he so perfect?

"Jacob you're far from late." I chuckled.

"I just got caught up in something but I made sure I got here." The words shot out of his mouth, it almost seemed like he was panicking. "I wouldn't ever bail on you, I'm sorry I left you out here in the dark, alone."

"It's fine, really."

"Like what if something happened to you? It'd be all my fault. And you'd freeze to death out here in that." He gestured to my white cardigan. "And I'd hate myself for letting that happen to you, oh gosh I'm such an idiot! It won't happen again-."

"Jacob!." I pressed a hand over his heaving chest, his heart hammering beneath my palm. "Stop it! I don't care, it's fine, really. You came and that's all that matters."

His deep brown eyes bore into mine for a long moment before he glanced down at my hand on his chest. One of his large hands reached up, his fingertips brushing over my wrist as he began to cover my hand with his but he hesitated.

Which made the situation _very_ awkward.

I dropped my hand to my side as quick as lightening, realizing that I hadn't even been thinking of what I was doing earlier. Touching him was not what I came here to do- as much as I wanted to- yet for some reason I ended up doing it anyway. It was sad really.

With a clearing of his throat, he broke the silence. "So I was thinking we could um.. go somewhere quiet."

"It's quiet here," I pointed out.

"Yeah it's just too-." He frowned in concentration. "It's too public."

"But there's no one here and I need to get going soon before my parents find out I'm not home."

He sighed. "We won't be far and I promise I'll get you home safely. Just give me twenty minutes."

There was no way I could refuse him so we took off after that, walking side by side down the beach. The woods had always freaked me out but Jacob obviously thought differently. He took me deep into the darkness, telling me over and over that nothing would happen to me.

It was crazy how I believed him, because if it were my parents…I'd be running back home like a shot. With him I always felt safe, there was a sense of leadership about him. A sense of authority. It sucked me in.

Yet how could I feel this safe around a boy-man that I hardly knew and suspected took me home one night without telling me?

A wolf howled in the near distance, causing me to jump out of my skin with fright.

"Nina," he whispered. Grasping my hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It's okay."

My whole body was shaking. "We're going to die."

He chuckled. "We're not, just relax. Nothing is going to happen, I won't let anything hurt you."

"Jacob there is no way in hell you can protect me from a vicious wolf, that's insane."

"They're not vicious," he said seriously. "They wouldn't ever hurt you."

"They're animals! Wild animals out in the woods and you expect me to believe that?."

"Yes I do!," he shot back.

I stared at him wide eyed. "I came here tonight thinking we were going to talk about things but we haven't even done that yet. Instead we're in the middle of the woods, surrounded by wolves and you expect me to just relax?."

His grip on my hand tightened, a flash of hurt crossed his face. "Don't you feel safe around me?."

"How am I supposed to feel safe here?," I asked.

We weren't even moving. We were just standing there in the confines of the forest, hardly able to see each other in the darkness while a wolf howled nearby. There was no way we'd make it out of here alive if it stumbled upon us. And yet Jacob expected me to believe I had nothing to worry about…

"Because I know La Push like the back of my hand, this isn't the first time I've been here in this exact spot and it won't be the last."

I pulled my hand out of his. "Jac-."

"Nee," he sighed. Reaching for my hand again.

When he called me that, it turned my legs to jell-o. "J-Jacob."

"We're almost there, just… just trust me. Please," he pleaded. Lacing his hand with mine once again.

"Fine," I mumbled.

So we started moving again, except this time we were holding hands and I couldn't help but walk closer to him. His warmth was both shocking and inviting at the same time. It certainly wasn't normal, but on cold nights like these, it was wonderful.

No wonder he walked around half naked all the time.

Five minutes passed and we finally emerged into a clearing which wasn't as a dark as the woods. The moon casted a glow throughout it, revealing how big it really was to me. Then just as I started to relax, thoughts of a pack of wolves surrounding us plagued my mind.

"It's safe here, I promise," Jacob told me, reading my mind. Tugging on my hand for me to sit down next to him on the grass.

Giving in, I fell to my knees beside him. "So… a clearing?."

He smiled that breathtaking smile of his. "Yeah, I thought it was appropriate enough for a talk."

"Can I ask you something?."

"Sure."

My gaze fell to his bare chest. "Why are you always shirtless?."

It took a lot of courage to ask him. My whole body was covered in goose bumps as I waited for him to answer the question. I couldn't find it in me to look him in the eyes, so I found myself staring down at the space between us.

"I um-." He coughed. "It's necessary… at times."

"Necessary?," I asked. Meeting his eyes.

Jacob was chewing on his bottom lip at this point, his eyes now the ones to leave mine. "It's part of what I do Nina."

"And what do you do?." I couldn't help but ask, I wanted to know everything about him. So many things confused me about him.

A blush crept into his cheeks, barely noticeable in the dark. "I protect you," he whispered so softly that I wasn't too sure whether I'd heard him right.

"Protect-."

"How about you? What do you do? Do you work or have any hobbies?," he asked quickly. Cutting me off.

Our eyes locked, causing my mind to drift away. "I.. no, I don't work and I haven't really got any hobbies." Though I do consider watching you a hobby— yeah, like I'd tell him that.

"What about school?."

I frowned. "School? Well I hate school but-." But I love seeing you there. "This is my last year so I don't really care. I'll probably hate college too…"

At this, Jacob's whole body stiffened noticeably. His eyes took on a hard look as he broke eye contact with me and stared off into the distance. The heat he gave off seemed to have gone up a notch too.

The awkwardness and abruptness of the situation left me speechless. I just sat there watching him, wondering what I'd said that had upset him so much. There wasn't a single cell in my body that would hurt him intentionally so I was completely confused by his sudden change in behavior.

"You're going away to college next year?." He asked, yet it wasn't really a question.

"Well it's not set in stone but ninety nine percent of me is sure I will be."

"What college?."

"I have no idea."

"Anywhere in mind?."

"Um no."

"Did your parents talk to you about it?."

"Not yet."

"Is it completely necessary?." His voice had a rough edge to it now as his deep brown eyes burned into mine.

All the questioning was driving me insane.

"Jacob!." I sighed. "Yes, it is completely necessary! There's no way I wouldn't go, why would I want to _not_ go to college just so I could stay in La Push? That'd be crazy. This place has nothing to offer me."

"I… you… we…" his voice was shaky and unclear. "There's so much…"

"So much?."

Running a trembling hand through his silky hair, he shot me a pained look. "You're right, La Push has nothing to offer a girl like you."

Although his words were touching, they left me feeling guilty for some reason. "It's not that I dislike La Push Jacob, I just don't want to spend the rest of my life here when I could do so much better."

He nodded before laying back down on the grass, his arms folded behind his head as he stared up at the sky. Everything about him was god-like, from his beautiful face to his muscular, sculpted body.

Instinct told me to lay down and curl up next to him. To kiss away the sorrowful look on his face but I knew that I couldn't, as much as I wanted to.

"Are you going to college next year?," I asked quietly.

"No."

"Why not?."

"Because what I do, well— I'm in it for life."

Okay now I was more than confused.

"Jacob I know that you don't want to tell me what it is that you do but-."

"I do want to tell you," he said. Turning his face to look up at me. "But right now I can't… it's too soon."

"Well when will it be the right time?." I moved closer to him, staring down into his handsome face. "At least tell me that."

He leaned up on his elbows. "Time will tell."

"That's not-."

"I know it's not a good enough answer but I don't know either, all I know is that you and I are here right now and I want to be able to do this with you every night. I want to see you, all the time. I want you to sneak out of your house for _me_, so that we can get to know each other. I want all of that."

I was speechless. "My parents will find out, I was lucky tonight."

"But you'll do it right? To see me." He asked. Already knowing the answer.

"Yes," I whispered.

* * *

"Oh my god! What is he.. oh my god!," I screamed.

This was my third night with Jacob. Thoughts of my parents (specifically my _dad_) catching me sneaking out weren't enough to stop me from going to First Beach at eight when I wasn't supposed to. As a matter of fact I should've been doing my English homework.

But school, family and friends went flying out the window when I was around Jacob. All that mattered to me in those moments were him. From his dashing smile to his unbelievably kind nature.

The first night I had spent with him ended sooner than I expected. He simply told me that I should be getting home and I agreed— as usual. Last night had been the same, around nine o'clock he decided to take me home and not a minute after I entered my house I heard the howling of a wolf.

I'm telling you it was so close that I instinctively locked the door, almost catching my parents attention... yeah, that wouldn't have gone down too well.

School was the same as usual, I'd see Kara and she'd gush about Nick or some other guy she found attractive to me the whole morning. In English I'd see Jacob, we'd talk after class but that was it. We both knew we'd have all the time to talk later.

Kara was flabbergast when I filled her in on everything. Though as usual she warned me about my dad, dampening the mood instantly.

So here I was on a Wednesday night with Jacob. We were nearing the cliffs he had been telling me about when I saw one of his friends jump off from the very top, deep down into the water. Scariest sight ever.

"Nina!," he laughed. Squeezing my hand in his— yes, he held my hand today. "They're cliff diving."

"Is he alive?," I asked. Panic stricken.

"Yeah, we're— they're used to it, it's nothing to them."

A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I saw the guy emerge from the water, laughing over at us. We weren't that loud were we?... no wait, he couldn't have heard us underwater.

"Jacob?." I turned to him. "Do you.. cliff dive? Just like him?."

He swallowed. "I kinda do, yeah."

I gasped. "What if… what if something happened to you! Are you insane?."

"It's fun Nina, besides _what if_ something happened to me." he smiled. "Would you care?."

At that I blushed. "Yes of course I'd care."

His hand slipped out of mine. "Watch me."

"Jacob!."

But there was no use in running after him, he was faster than I thought he was. All I could do was stand there, shaking with fear and hoping that nothing would happen to him. That he'd make it out of the water safely, just like his friend had.

So when he reached the top of the cliff and waved down at me, I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to watch him dive from such a height. Besides, if I stood like that for a few minutes, he'd be making it back out of the water to me in no time.

…two minutes, two minutes and one second, two minutes and two seconds…

There wasn't any sign of Jacob when I opened my eyes, just the unusually calm sea and the dark sky filled with rain clouds, blocking the moonlight.

Cliff diving was insane but even more insane at nine fifteen at night.

"Jacob?," I called. My heart hammering in my chest as I started making my way towards the shoreline.

No answer.

Sucking my lower lip into my mouth, I kicked off my flats and stepped into the freezing water. I shivered with the cold, my teeth chattering as I made my way in deeper. Hoping that Jacob was okay.

"Jacob!," I called again. Knee deep in the water now, my voice strained.

Once again there was no response.

Hadn't his friend been around only minutes ago? How could he have just walked off like that knowing Jacob was going to cliff dive? Humans were weird sometimes.

"Answer me Jacob!." I was now waist deep in the ice-cold water, there was no way I wouldn't get sick after this. "Jacob Black! You told me you could do this! Where are you?."

There really wasn't any sign of him, so I stood there in the middle of the sea, scanning the whole area in search of him. Sadly there wasn't anyone around.

"Jacob please," I begged. Tears pooling in my eyes at the thought of him underwater, drowning.

Worst part was, I couldn't swim.

So for the next minute I continued to call out his name, over and over and over again but all that answered me was silence. And when I was chest deep in the water, the tears started flowing from eyes in floods. Sobs escaping my throat.

I was afraid, alone and starting to believe that he really was drowning.

"Nina! What are you doing out there? Nina!," he called. Causing me to turn around. "Come here!."

He was alive after all. How? I don't know.

As soon as he made it to me, I was pulled into his strong arms. Enveloped in his wonderful warmth as he started to whisper things in Quileute into my ear. His lips brushing over my earlobe, causing me to shiver.

"Jake," I sobbed. Wrapping my arms around him, burying my face into his chest.

He shushed me, lifting me up in his arms as he started taking us back to the beach. My crying had died down quite a bit, but the tears continued to fall from my eyes as I held on to him. Relieved he was here with me.

Finding us a spot under a tree, he fell to his knees with me in his arms as he leaned back against the trunk, holding me against him. The words that fell from his plump lips were foreign to me, but somehow I knew they were loving.

Everything about Jacob was loving.

"Nina, honey, why are you crying?," he asked softly. Running his hands up and down my arms, warming my shivering body.

"I thought you drowned." I sniffled as I listened to the steady pace of his heartbeat against my ear. While mine took up its pace as he called me 'honey' for the first and probably the last time.

"But I… I was only gone for a couple of minutes."

I looked up at him. "You were gone? As in you left?."

He nodded. "Sam needed to speak with me for a minute. I heard you calling me but I thought you were still on the beach."

"Well what did you expect me to do? Stand there and wait for you to show up? I thought something happened to you Jacob!."

"I thought something happened to _you_ Nina!."

"You're lucky you found me or…" I trailed off.

"Or what?," he pushed.

"Or I would've just frozen in the freezing water." I looked away from him.

"Don't say things like that," he said quietly. "I wouldn't ever let that happen to you."

"You're not magic Jacob, that could've happened. Don't deny it."

He grabbed my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I would not let that happen to you." Each word came out slowly, through clenched teeth. "If…If I found you in the water all cold, I would take you home with me and I would… I would restore all the warmth to your body. I wouldn't ever let you out of my sight."

My breath caught in my throat. "That's.. that's unbelievable."

"Unbelievable but true. There would be no way that I'd ever let something like that happen to you again, we'd just have to be together, always."

I couldn't hide the smile that broke out on my face at his sweet words. "But there would be things like college-."

"College… no. I wouldn't let you go."

"Work-."

"No I'd work."

"What if my parents decided to move?."

"Well that wouldn't make any difference because you'd be living with me."

We both blushed at that but our eyes never left each other. Want was evident in his eyes, it almost seemed like he was serious about everything he'd just said. And I wasn't going to lie, I wanted it to be true.

A long silence followed as I dropped my gaze to my dripping wet shirt.

The fact that I had ran out there in search of him was all for nothing both bothered and relieved me, but I was now soaked to the core. As much as I hated my parents strict rules and ridiculous ideas, there was always a strong feeling of guilt when I snuck out every night.

And tonight, like every other night, I would unlock the hall door as quietly as I could. Knowing full well that my family were in the living room watching TV and then I would tip toe up to my room. But considering my clothes were wet, I'd be leaving evidence behind me this time.

Life sucked.

Suddenly, Jacob stood up with me still in his arms. "I need to get you warm."

"Well I was thinking of taking the window this time…"

"Excuse me?."

"I'm not going through the hall door like this," I told him. Wrapping my arms around his neck as he held me bridal-style.

"You want me to take you home through your bedroom window?," he asked seriously.

At that, I laughed. "Jacob I was joking, that's impossible."

"Right," he mumbled.

As he started walking us towards the woods, I stiffened. "Jacob where-."

"My place."

My mouth formed an 'O' shape as my cheeks suddenly started burning profusely. Jacob was taking me back to his house instead of mine at nine thirty in the pitch dark when I should've been in my room, doing my homework.

Having no idea why he was taking me there, I decided to keep my mouth shut. Refusing to go was definitely not an option, besides he was my friend and he was probably just taking me there to get me in out of the cold.

What would Billy think… I wonder what his room is like… Did he mean what he said earlier… Right, my mind was drifting away.

Entering the dark woods, trees surrounding us everywhere just like the last time, I pressed my cheek to his broad chest before I chickened out. His skin smelt of the salty sea and musk, bringing me back to that night. The night strong arms held me close, making me feel wanted and protected as I was enveloped in the heat the mystery body radiated.

This person took me home without me being fully aware of it.

This person somehow managed to make it into my room unnoticed.

This person lay next to me in my bed as I finally fell asleep.

This person was warm. Very warm.

"Just like Jacob," I murmured as my eyes shut on their own accord.

"Nee…" a voice whispered but sleep had already found me.

Little did I know that falling asleep in Jacob Blacks arms that night was a very big mistake.


	11. Picture This

**A/N: GUYS! So sorry this took a hundred years, I had to work on the last chapter to my other story but now that that's done, here it is! Chapter 11!**

**As always, thank you all so much for the reviews, I love them. To my anonymous reviewers, thank you for reviewing! I love reading each and every one of them.**

**So without further ado.**

**Chapter 11: Picture This**

"You talk in your sleep," a voice, low and husky, whispered into my ear. Warm breath washing over my sensitive skin.

Fighting to keep my eyes open, I took in my surroundings and realized that I was laying in Jacob Black's arms in the woods across the road from his house. Apparently, I had fallen asleep while he was carrying me— when I could have been enjoying the moment! Very smooth Nina, very smooth.

Did he just say I talk in my sleep?

"What did I say?," I asked him as he stared down at me with an amused expression.

"I think I should keep that to myself." He grinned. "Wouldn't want you getting all embarrassed now would we?."

A blush crept into my cheeks as I wondered what it was I had said. "Jacob please."

"Nope," he said, popping the 'p'. "You'll have to earn it."

"Earn it? It's my words!."

Nodding, he set me down on my feet. "My ears."

With a sigh, I took a wobbly step backwards. "Maybe I'm better off not knowing anyway."

"Aw, you're giving up that easily? Too bad."

It wasn't until then that I started shivering with the cold, my damp clothes clinging to my body, chilling me to the bone. I should've stayed in Jacob's arms, he was always so warm and he smelled good too.

Noticing my chattering teeth, he swept me back up in his arms again and jogged across the road to his house. Nothing ever seemed heavy to him, I'd seen him pick things up— including me but I wasn't a thing… or maybe I was— but from observation, he never used any of his strength.

Both weird and attractive at the same time.

Once we were inside his house, he took me straight to his room without a second thought. Setting me down on his bed, he threw a sheet over my shivering body then darted across the room to his wardrobe and started rummaging through his clothes.

The room— no actually, the house, was absolutely tiny. From what I saw as he carried me down the hall, the living room was small and so was the kitchen. Yet, there was this warm, homey feeling to the place which made me feel more comfortable than I'd ever felt in a strange home.

Jacob's bedroom wasn't anything interesting, just big enough to fit a single bed and a wardrobe. It was pretty messy too, things scattered around the place, mostly clothes. Just a typical boys room, nothing special… well the fact that it was his room made it special but you get my point.

"Here, these will do for now," he said, placing a t-shirt and shorts onto the bed next to me. "Just get changed and I'll put your clothes in the dryer."

For a moment, I found myself staring at him in all his half-naked glory. He was definitely the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life, there was absolutely nothing flawed about him, he was perfect. Every muscle defined under the glow of his bedside lamp, begging to be touched.

The girl he decides to marry will be very lucky…

"Fay?."

Blinking my eyes, I jolted upright on the bed. "Yeah yeah, sorry, I'll get changed. Thanks."

With a smile, he left the room, shutting the door quietly behind himself. Leaving me sitting there with butterflies fluttering around my stomach as my heart hammered against my chest. All because I was in his room. How pathetic was I? jeez.

Practically tearing my wet shirt off, I threw it onto the bed post and picked up his _large_ t-shirt. As crazy as it was, I brought it to my nose, taking in its distinct musky smell. He obviously hadn't worn that t-shirt in a long time since his scent wasn't strong on the material… or maybe I was just overanalyzing everything. After all, I was sniffing his clothes.

Once I was completely undressed, standing in the room in only my underwear, I decided that I'd leave my bra on even though it was wet. There was no way I'd give it to Jacob to 'dry', way too embarrassing. So without analyzing things again, I quickly threw on his t-shirt and shorts. Yeah, they were big but they _were_ Jacob's.

"Are you done?," he called from behind the door.

I moved to swing it open. "Yep, where should I… what?."

For some reason, he had the strangest expression on his face as his eyes scanned me from head to toe, causing the hairs to stand up on the back of my neck. When his gaze finally drifted back to my face, I couldn't help but notice his eyes seemed a little glazed over. Sort of like when someone's in a daze.

"Cute," he mumbled before taking the wet clothes from me and disappearing into the bathroom.

Following him, I watched as he threw the clothes into the dryer. "Thanks again." For calling me cute, I added mentally.

He shot me a smile before starting the dryer. "Don't mention it, it's my fault you got wet anyway."

If Kara had been here, she would've taken his words in a _completely_ different way. Having thought that, I found myself stifling a giggle while I hoped that Jacob wouldn't notice because _that_ would be awkward.

"Aren't you cold?," I asked him as we exited the bathroom and headed into the living room. "You might get sick."

He chuckled. "What would you say if I told you I was one hundred and eight degrees?."

I raised my eyebrows. "I'd say that's impossible."

Plopping down onto the sofa, he grinned. "But you wouldn't think I was lying would you? I'd be terribly hurt."

"How's a girl supposed to believe that Jacob? It's impossible for humans to be that warm," I told him. Crossing my arms as I stood in front of him.

"Are you human Nina?," he joked. Grabbing my hand and pulling me down to sit next to him. "Yup, humans are so fragile."

"Hey!." I poked him in the side, his skin surprisingly soft beneath my fingertip and very warm. "You could've dislocated my arm! Oh and I think you're coming down with a virus or something."

Pulling a hair band out from his pocket, he gathered his long silky hair in his hands and tied it back. "Told you I was warmer than you _humans_."

"Oh and you're not human?," I asked sarcastically.

Jacob turned his body slightly towards mine, a stray hair falling into his face as he stared deeply into my eyes. Right at that moment I could see the true color of his beautiful eyes, they were a deep brown and under their gaze, I felt naked. Like my soul was bare to him.

Our knees touched and I jumped slightly from the friction, goose bumps rising all over my body. My own heartbeat suddenly sounded very loud in my ears and I wondered briefly whether he could hear it.

"Have you heard any of the Quileute Legends? About who we're descended from?," he asked quietly, watching me carefully.

I nodded in response. "Yeah, you're descended from wolves right?."

His face lit up at that. "Yes! Yes we are, how did you know?."

"My mom told me about them once when I was younger. I remember feeling so intrigued, that I guess it kind of stuck with me." I smiled in remembrance.

"Do you ever wonder whether there was any truth behind those stories?."

"No, I don't question stories or fairytales, it's obvious they're not real. It'd be awesome if they were though, maybe there'd be a prince waiting for me out there somewhere."

For a brief second, Jacob's face hardened at my words but it disappeared as quick as it came. Yet, I couldn't ignore the fact that his body had noticeably stiffened. Sometimes he confused me, I hadn't said anything wrong. Unless he thinks I'm childish for bringing up fairytales.

"I'm sorry for earlier, I shouldn't have left you. It's only natural for you to worry about me- people I mean," he said quickly. "Anything could've happened to you out there in the sea."

Shrugging, I leaned back into the sofa. "I don't think cliff diving is such a good idea anyway."

"I've been doing it for a few years now, I can handle it. Trust me."

"But what if… never mind, you see my point."

Raising himself up off the sofa, he stretched. Every muscle in his body working by that simple movement, causing my eyes to drift over his god-like muscularity, from his broad shoulders to his thick muscular legs. Though the area that was staring me right in the face was where his well defined abs bulged, and I found myself following the dark trail of hair that started right under his navel, disappearing into his cut off's— which were practically hanging off him.

If he didn't put on a shirt anytime soon, I was going to combust. Literally.

Giving me a knowing look and a grin to go with it, he excused himself a moment to change into something a little warmer.

Yeah, because walking around half-naked is normal. Not.

Just then, I realized that I hadn't seen his father Billy around. Strange, considering it was probably around half-nine but a relief at the same time because I had no idea how he'd react to seeing me here at this hour of the night.

Then again, I had more things to worry about considering I wasn't supposed to be here in the first place. Why can't my parents just accept the fact that Jacob is eighteen but looks way older? There has to be a way of proving it to them.

"Miss me?," Jacob asked with a smirk as he sat down next to me once again. He was now wearing a tight fitted, red t-shirt and a pair of jeans—yes, not cut off's— for a change.

"No, I was actually enjoying the peace," I joked.

"Ouch." He pressed a hand to his chest. "I'm deeply hurt."

"Aw, you're a softie behind all that muscle."

He bit his lip in an attempt to look innocent. "You have the power to destroy me."

"Do I have the power to fix you too?," I asked with a giggle.

"Yes," he answered before taking my hand in his and placing it over his chest. "Fix me."

"Hmm, well…" I scooted closer to him on the sofa. "What if I don't want to?."

"I'll cry… like a baby and I won't talk to you ever again."

"That's not too bad."

The hand which held mine, pressed my palm harder against him. His pulse racing beneath my touch. "Please," he begged with an adorable pout.

"Oh Jacob," I sighed, in fake misery.

"Make it go away." His free hand cupped my cheek. "Please, it hurts so bad."

"I don't know how."

"Just tell me you're sorry."

I pressed my tongue to my cheek. "Umm no."

"Nina!."

"No, I just can't find it in me Jacob."

"Once more, please."

"No!."

Then suddenly, I was screaming so loud, I was sure the whole population of La Push could hear me. Jacob's fingers were digging into my sides, tickling me and I was trashing all over the sofa. By the looks of things, he wasn't going stop.

His laughter echoed throughout the house as he continued to tickle me. "You want me to stop?."

"Jacob!," I yelled. Slapping at his hands but he wouldn't budge. "Jacob stop!."

"Aw, you're ticklish under all those clothes," he said. Repeating my sentence to him earlier, changing the words up a bit.

"Please!," I screamed. Almost head-butting him.

"Nee you're so adorable when-."

All of a sudden, I fell backwards off the sofa with Jacob landing on top of me on the hard floor. The back of my head throbbed with the hit, and I hissed with the pain as I tried to look up into his face.

"Nina, I'm so sorry! I'm a freaking idiot, I should've stopped. Let me help you." Scrambling to his feet, he slid one arm behind my neck and another under my thighs, lifting me up off the floor. "I'll take you to my bed, it's comfier there."

Once we were inside his room, he set me down on my side on the soft mattress. The bed creaking under his weight as he sat down on the edge. Although I was in pain, the smell of him everywhere soothed me… as weird as that seems.

"That hurts," I winced as he pressed a wet cloth to where it hurt.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I'm so careless with you today, I'm sorry."

"These things happen," I told him as I stared up at the window. "Don't worry about it."

"You have every right to be mad at me."

I was facing away from him but I knew he'd have a miserable expression on his face. "Jake, please. It's fine."

So for a while after that, nothing but the sound of our breathing filled the room as he continued to press the cloth against my scalp. Around him, I always felt that he genuinely cared for me, and that if I needed to confide in him, he'd happily listen.

Never in my life have I ever felt so connected with someone, and to think I only knew him a couple of weeks… it was unbelievable. I'd never tell anyone that though, they'd probably think I was crazy.

Then again, maybe I was.

"Can I?," he asked quietly. Hesitant about laying next to me.

"Yes."

Jacobs arm wrapped around my waist, holding me close to him, his body warming me almost instantly. He also managed to keep his distance, making sure our bodies didn't touch to avoid awkwardness between us.

In the back of my head, I knew that laying with a boy I barely knew was strange and to some people, inappropriate. However, with Jacob everything was different, it felt as though we'd known each other for years. Everything was as easy as breathing.

And normally I'd be squealing internally with joy, but for a change I just felt content. I must've hit my head pretty badly…

"You're cold," he stated quietly, sounding sleepy.

Remaining still, I allowed my eyes to close. "Maybe it's because you're warmer than us humans."

"Or maybe it's because I notice everything about you," he replied. His arm tightening around me, as if to prove his point.

"Or maybe I'm not cold and you're just imagining it," I said. Feeling sleepy myself.

Suddenly, I felt his chest press into my back as he leaned in to whisper into my ear. "You're warming up, I can tell."

A shiver travelled up my spine, but it hadn't got anything to do with being cold. "Can I keep you?."

Wait.. did I just say that out loud?

With a soft chuckle, he asked. "Why would you want to keep me?."

I was blushing profusely. "Because you're warm…"

"And?," he urged.

"It's a secret."

Shifting against me, I felt more of his body press into mine. "Can I ask you something?."

"Yes," I answered automatically. Relief washing over me as I realized he wasn't going to push the subject.

"Have you ever had a secret you couldn't tell anyone because it wasn't your secret to tell?," he asked carefully. His breath hot and heavy against my ear.

Thinking his question over for a long minute, I opened my eyes and gave him an honest answer. "No."

"Would you keep a secret for someone you cared about?."

Although the questions about secrecy confused me, I kept my mouth shut. There was something about the way he asked me that made me think deeply into his questions, even though they were pointless.

"Well yeah, but I wouldn't keep a bad secret."

"Describe bad," he said.

"For example, if Kara was holding someone hostage." I chuckled. "I wouldn't keep that a secret, I'd go straight to the police."

Mindlessly, Jacob started drawing patterns with his fingertips on my abdomen. "If I told you that I was a merman, would you keep that a secret for me?."

Frowning, I looked over my shoulder into his handsome face. "But you don't look like a merman."

"Just say I was, and I showed you."

"But-."

"Picture it, me taking you to a secluded part of First Beach. We're the only ones there, you sit down on the sand and watch me make my way into the sea. Then a minute later, I swim back to you and there I lay on the shoreline, my legs replaced with a tail. You see the truth with your own eyes, what do you do? Do you keep my secret or do you tell on me?."

His eyes searched mine as we stared at each other, the story playing over and over in my head. In my imagination, he was as beautiful as he is now with a beautiful tail to match. We're closer than we are in real life, and he asks me with scared eyes to keep his secret. My lips part and the answer leaves my mouth…

"I'd keep your secret Jake, I wouldn't tell anyone," I whispered.

Biting on his lower lip with his perfect teeth, he asked. "How would you feel if your merman friend was your soul mate? That he couldn't be without you, his feelings for you were so strong that it would tear him apart if you ever left him."

"I… I don't know, if I cared about him then I guess… we could work something out."

"Before you find out about his secret, one day you tell him that you want to keep him because he's special to you. Would you want to keep him after he reveals his true identity to you?."

That awakened my blush again. "You can't keep a person…"

"But he's inhuman," he starts. "He's yours anyway, you're soul mates. He'd do or be anything you want him to be."

With a nervous giggle, I wondered out loud. "Is he warm or cold?."

"He's warm, very warm. His temperature higher than anyone you'll ever know." He smiled.

"Well then I'd still want to keep him, he sounds perfect as weird as that seems."

His smile grew wider, revealing his pearly whites to me. "It's not weird at all honey, not weird at all."

No longer looking over my shoulder at him, I sunk deeper into his pillow. "I'll be dreaming of you as a merman tonight."

"I hope so," he breathed against my ear. "Now rest, I'll take you home in a while."

So for the second time that night—thinking it was okay since I'd done it earlier—I fell asleep in Jacob Black's arms.

* * *

Three hours later we were standing in the shadows nearby my house, his Rabbit parked down the road. Though we would definitely be caught together if my mom or dad decided to take out the trash or something.

But we both knew there was no chance in that happening. Why? Because it was one in the morning!

Jacob had fallen asleep next to me and much to my utter embarrassment, Billy Black woke us up. Which had me scrambling out of the bed, muttering my apologies as I ran into the bathroom and threw on my clothes, fresh from the dryer.

Much to my surprise, Jacob didn't seem bothered by the fact that his father had found us together _on his bed_. He'd just told me it was no big deal and that Billy understood. What he meant by understood I will never know, but I made sure I was on my way home within minutes.

"That was mortifying Jacob," I whined. Covering my face with my hands.

"Aw Nee, don't be like that. It's all cool, trust me."

I shook my head, dropping my hands to my sides once again. "What must your father think of me now."

"He thinks you're a nice girl," he said, taking my hands in his. "And we both want you to come to a bonfire held on First Beach this Saturday."

"Billy's going to be there?."

With a nod, he added. "Yeah, it's a special bonfire. They're going to be telling us the stories about the Quileute Legends. We want you to be there."

"You mean the Elders are going to be there? And I'm invited? That's just… wow."

"Yeah." He chuckled. "You wouldn't want to miss it."

Feeling more than a little overwhelmed, I smiled. "That's really nice of you and Billy, thanks."

Which it was. Everyone knew that whenever the Elders were having a bonfire, only a certain group of people were allowed to attend it. Apparently, Jacob and Billy were part of that particular group so I was shocked that I was invited.

Kara was not going to believe her ears!

"Well you better be getting home, it's cold out here. Wouldn't want you sick on Saturday would we?," he smirked, letting go of my hands.

"No, we definitely wouldn't, so I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow. Goodnight Jake."

"Goodnight Nee, hope I don't scare you as a merman in your dreams."

Laughing, I turned on my heel. "Not at all, goodnight."

I had only taken a few steps when I felt his warm hand latch onto my shoulder, stalling me. "Nina."

"Jake?," I asked carefully. My whole body stiffening.

His lips brushed against my ear, causing me to shiver. "Be there on Saturday, it's important to me… there are things I need you to hear."

"Of course, I'll be there. I promise."

Then the warmth disappeared from behind me and I knew he was gone, but it didn't stop a goofy smile spreading across my face. Telling myself not to look back, I ran the rest of the way up to my house. Adrenaline bursting through my veins.

What I didn't realize was, through my dreamy state, I unlocked the front door and slammed it shut behind myself. When I should've closed it as quietly as I could, like _normal_. Darting up the stairs and into my room wasn't an option, because I had already woken my mom.

This was _not_ happening.

"Nina? What are you doing down there?," she hissed. Making her way down the stairs and into the hall to stand in front of me. "Where were you?."

"I.. was… I thought I heard something so I came down to check," I offered lamely.

Her eyes hardened. "I wasn't born yesterday."

"Mom I know this looks bad but I can explain."

"I'm listening," she said expectantly. Crossing her arms over her chest.

Bile rose up my throat as I thought up an excuse for my being out at this hour of the night. Sleeping with Jacob in his house, in his room definitely wasn't going to go down well with her. Too bad _she_ didn't have Billy's attitude and _I_ didn't have sense.

"I was at First Beach," I mumbled.

"With who?," she questioned.

"Myself."

"Nina," she warned. "Your father is upstairs sleeping, I doubt you want me to wake him up and tell him that his daughter has been sneaking out."

Sliding down against the front door, I sighed. "Why don't you believe anything I say anymore? I've always been honest with you and dad."

She snorted. "Honest? Look at yourself. You're lying right to my face now, and I know why. You're protecting that Jacob guy."

"Mom!." I blushed.

Shaking her head in disgust, she sat down on the floor in front of me. "Nina, I'm your mother and all I've ever wanted was to look out for you. To teach you right from wrong, and to put you on the right path. The path where you graduate from school, go to college and university without a Jacob in your life. Yes, he may be good to you but is he right for you? No, a man like that is not for you."

"There's nothing wrong with him mom! Jacob is everything I'd ever want in a guy, you can't judge people when you don't even know them and you can't speak for me when you know it's not the truth."

"When I speak for you or for your brother, it is the truth. I've met men like Jacob sweetheart and believe me, they were nothing but bad news in the end. Picture this, you and him getting married and having children and living in La Push. How does that look to you?."

So I pictured it; Jacob and I standing at the altar, saying our vows, friends and family surrounding us. Jacob and I at the reception, laughing and reminiscing. Jacob and I having a slow dance. Jacob and I leaving for our honeymoon. Jacob and I having children. Jacob and I living happily in La Push. And the final thing I pictured was waking up next to him on a cold morning, how much I'd love that.

With a weak smile, I looked her in the eye. "It looks perfect."

For a moment, she just stared at me until realization dawned on her face. "You're in love with him."

"No, I'm not in love with him. I'm not. I don't…" I trailed off, knowing I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't when I wasn't sure what I felt.

Gulping, my mom took in a deep breath. "I hate myself for having to ask you this but please tell me you're using protection."

Oh hell no!

"Oh my…" my jaw dropped. "We're not… mom… no… we haven't-."

"Nina, you can't hide everything from me, especially when you come home looking disheveled."

"Stop it mom, please!"

Firstly, your mom thinking you were sneaking out to have sex was bad, very bad. Secondly, looking like a mess because you walked chest-deep into the sea and having no excuse was bad too. But thirdly, picturing yourself for that split second in the heat of passion with your crush because your mom mentioned was the worst because she was sitting right in front of you!

Though I still can't make up my mind whether Billy seeing me in his son's bed is worse.

"Nina," she sighed. "I don't know how many times your father and I have talked to you about this situation but tonight you've taken it a step too far."

Burying my face in my hands, I squeezed my eyes shut. "It won't happen again, I swear."

"You're right," she said. "You're grounded."

"What!," I shrieked. Dropping my hands into my lap and staring at her wide eyed. "Until when?."

Pushing herself up off the floor, she stared down at me. "Until you let this whole idea of you and Jacob go."

"But mom-."

"No buts. Like I've said before, he hasn't got anything to offer you. He will stay in La Push for the rest of his life. Why? Because he's obviously doing drugs with that gang of his, have you seen them Nina? Walking around half-naked! He hasn't even got a job, he has nothing to offer you. Your father-."

"It's him isn't it!," I hissed. Scrambling to my feet. "Dad, he's got you wrapped around his little finger. All you ever do is listen to him, what about what _you_ think? I never knew you were this bad mom, not until now. And it disgusts me."

"Don't you speak to me like that! I am your mother, don't you forget that."

"And I'm your daughter! What about my happiness?," I asked, my voice breaking at the end.

"Jacob cannot give you happiness, why can't you see that?."

With tears blurring my vision, I told her. "Because Jacob has a good heart and if he wants to live here for the rest of his life, then I respect that. You don't have to worry mom, there _is_ a girl out there that will marry him and have his children but it's not going to be me."

"Nina," she whispered. For once, looking guilty.

But I couldn't stand there any longer, my heart breaking with thoughts of him and another woman together. So I brushed past her and ran up to my room, clasping a hand over my mouth to muffle my sobs.

My mom never said another word.

Ten minutes later, I found myself laying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling while silent tears ran down my cheeks. An arm wrapped around my mid-section as I closed my eyes and imagined it was him holding me, like earlier.

My parents could ground me all they wanted, but it wouldn't stop me from going to the bonfire on Saturday. I'd jump out my window if I had to. That night was important to him, and I wasn't going to bail on him to keep other people happy.

Though I do blame myself for everything that happened tonight, I shouldn't have fallen asleep in his arms. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't do it again, I've never felt as safe and content in anyone's arms but his. If only I really could keep him…

Everything about him drew me in; from his smell to his touch, he was just perfection.

That cold, lonely night, I realized something. Something my own mother could see.

I was indeed, in love with Jacob Black.


	12. In Too Deep

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm really sorry I haven't replied to your reviews for last chapter, my internet credit is up (I have to top up every month). But I'll definitely respond to your reviews for this chapter, you've all been so great, so inspiring. Thank you all so much.**

**Happy Thanksgiving to those of you whole celebrate it! Hope you all enjoy your day.**

**By the way, at the end of the chapter I've got an author's note to answer some of your questions.**

**Anyway, on with the chapter. **

**Chapter 12: In Too Deep**

So there I was on a Thursday morning, minding my own business as I drove into the school parking lot and guess what happens? A douche that goes by the name Nick Fox, almost crashed right into me while I was backing up into a parking space because he was speeding around in his new car like a lunatic— showing off as usual.

Oh, and that's not all.

The minute I started beeping at him, he slammed down on his breaks and practically flew out of his car, wearing a not-so-friendly expression. There were two options for me to choose from: sit in my car and ignore him or, roll down my window and listen to his smart remarks.

Not bothering to go with any of the options, I killed the engine and hopped out, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"What the fuck is your problem missy huh? Think you own the school because you're hanging out with the big guys now huh?," he started. "Well let me tell you one thing, you don't! so-."

"Get out of my face," I hissed. Moving around him but he kept blocking my way.

"Oh so they've got you brainwashed too? Should've picked on someone taller, you're the same height as my eleven year old sister. Very intimidating," he mocked.

Glaring up at him, I held in my anger. "Then why are you still here?."

Crossing his arms over his chest, he smirked down at me with a gleam in his eye. It was then that I realized Nick—one of the most popular guys in our school— was actually wasting his time talking to me, Nina O'Neil.

Kara hadn't made it a secret to me that she thought Nick was 'the hottest guy to walk the face of the earth'. She'd drag me down the school corridors just to catch a glimpse of him, she'd talk about him during our lunch break and she even memorized his wardrobe. But Kara wasn't the only girl that liked him, no, a lot of girls did and yet I didn't see anything special about him.

To me, no one could take Jacob's place.

Then again, like Nick, a lot of girls liked Jacob too. Him and his friends were noticeably taller, bigger and stronger than every guy in La Push which had girls going crazy for them. They were probably the only thing stopping Nick from being 'the' most popular guy at school. There was just something about them… something different that I couldn't put my finger on.

"I see you watching me," Nick said smugly. Pulling me out of my thoughts.

I blinked. "W-What?."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't deny it, we both know it's the truth."

"I _do not_ watch you. Ever."

"Unbelievable," he said. "In the corridors, at the cafeteria, right here in the parking lot. You're always there, always staring at me, don't try to hide it."

Then it all started clicking into place. Kara.

"Okay.. I don't watch you because I want to, I kind of have to because.." I trailed off, not knowing how to finish off my sentence. I couldn't tell him that my best friend liked him, Kara would be mortified and he'd just be a jerk about it. "Because I'm a good friend."

Snorting, he unfolded his arms and shoved his hands into his jean pockets. "That was a lame excuse, it didn't even make sense."

"Well maybe I don't want it to," I retorted. "Besides, I've got a class to attend. Nice talking to you." Not.

With a puzzled expression on his face, I brushed past him and made my way towards the school. How I survived that conversation was beyond me, but I managed to get away from him without giving Kara's secret away. Gosh, he was such a douche bag.

However, I had I funny feeling that Nick was going to start looking for answers soon and I hadn't got one good excuse for an answer. Then again, maybe I was overanalyzing things as usual. What would a guy as popular as him be doing around a nobody like me? Speaking to me once was enough.

The mischievous look he had in his eyes when he spoke unnerved me though. There was something strange about it… yep, I was definitely overanalyzing things now.

"What took you so long?," Kara asked as I approached my locker. Usually she'd be waiting a minute for me but _her crush_ held me up.

Pressing a hand to my chest, I fake-squealed. "Oh my gosh, Nick Fox spoke to me. He's so freaking hot!."

Her jaw dropped. "You are _not_ serious."

Shrugging, I moved to my locker and unlocked it. "Yes about him speaking to me, no about him being hot."

"What was he saying? Tell me everything before the bell rings!," she demanded. Helping me pull out my books before slamming my locker shut and spinning me around to face her. "Now spill!."

Letting out a gust of air, I proceeded to tell Kara about my incident with Nick this morning.

Considering she has a massive crush on him, she listened intently to my every word with a dazed expression on her face. In a way, I pitied her for liking him so much because he was nothing but a jerk. She deserved so much better, but it wasn't like they were going to start dating, he was too full of himself to even notice what a great girl he could have.

Instead, he goes out with the popular girls who are clearly air-heads. Guess the saying _is_ true, birds of a feather _do_ flock together.

"Nina! What if he approaches you again?."

"Please don't go there," I replied glumly.

She wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "I am not leaving your side today."

"I'd advise you to stay as far away from me as possible, I'm coming down with a cold."

"Has Jacob got one too? Maybe you caught it from your endless make-out sessions with him," she teased.

Yeah, I wish.

Just then, the bell rang. "Oh great, English. I'll catch you at lunch."

She reluctantly unwrapped her arm from around my shoulders. "Fine, but you better fill me in on your sneaky meet up with Jacob Black last night. Ciao for now."

Although I hated English, I was looking forward to seeing him there. We tried our hardest to keep a low profile in school, since there weren't many students and word would definitely get back to my parents if everyone found out we were friends.

Because let's face it, no one is friends with Jacob Black and his crew. They make it very obvious that they aren't interested in anyone, and they're never seen at parties or clubs. The only things they do attend are bonfires, much to everyone's confusion.

So when Jacob and I started speaking in class, it raised a lot of suspicion. No one ever said anything, yet I would always see them watching me wherever I went. I hated the attention, especially since I was shy by nature but I'd put up with it for Jacob. Anything for Jacob.

Entering the class and taking my seat, I ignored everyone's stares. Instead, I kept my eyes glued to the door, waiting patiently for my Jacob—_my_ Jacob? I really was losing it— to arrive with his friend Embry.

"Alright class, settle down, we'll be starting a new lesson today. Keep focused-," Mrs. Cook started but was interrupted by two familiar figures walking into the class.

"Sorry we're late, we had-," Jacob was cut off.

Mrs. Cook glared at them both. "I have had enough of you two coming into my class ten minutes or more late, and giving me lame excuses. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior! Detention, both of you."

"Mrs. Cook," I called, jumping to my feet.

She turned to look at me through narrowed eyes. "Would you like to join them Miss O'Neil?."

"Don't-," Jacob began with an angered expression, but Embry pinched his arm, stopping him from saying any more.

Struggling to come up with an excuse, I blurted the first thing that came to mind. "My car broke down and they told me they'd have a look at it, that's the reason they're late. It's my fault, I'm sorry."

The whole class went silent for a moment, students shocked that I was defending Jacob and Embry in Mrs. Cooks class—she was considered one of the scariest teachers in school— when half of the them probably knew I was lying.

My cheeks burning with embarrassment, I hung my head to avoid everyone's stares. _I_ couldn't even believe that I'd said that to her, what about the consequences? There was no proof they were at my car, not even a gasoline-like smell in the classroom.

I was such an epic fail.

"Miss O'Neil, take your seat." She said. "And both of you, this is your last chance. I'm serious."

They mumbled their apologies before taking their seats, respectively. As always, Jacob sat next to me and almost instantly, I could feel the heat his body radiated. There was also that distinct musky smell I associated with him.

Before I let myself fall into a daydream about him and I becoming more than friends, I paid careful attention to Mrs. Cook as she started our new lesson. Ignoring the dull ache in my head that was becoming worse with each passing second.

Halfway through the lesson, my eyes started to tear up and I knew what was coming. Clasping my hand over my mouth, I hoped it would go unnoticed but unfortunately it came out louder than normal. Oh how I hated sneezing…

Warm fingers brushed my arm, causing me to glance over at Jacob. "You're sick aren't you?," he asked knowingly in a hushed voice.

Making sure Mrs. Cook wasn't looking, I whispered. "I've got a cold… I think."

"Nee," he sighed. "You should be wearing warmer clothes."

Warmer clothes? That's a first.

"You sound like my mom," I replied. Chuckling quietly to myself, careful not to draw any attention.

With a roll of his eyes, his fingers fell to my hand. "You're freezing!."

Okay, so maybe Jacob was right, I did need warmer clothes. But the thought of driving all the way into Port Angeles just for clothes put me off, I still hadn't really grown accustomed to living in La Push and having to drive everywhere for things.

Besides, I had an excuse. "I'd buy warmer clothes if I wasn't grounded."

"You're grounded?," he asked softly. "Why?."

But now wasn't the time to explain how I'd woken my mother up from her sleep by slamming the door shut because my mind was on other things, like him and his hot breath against my ear. As a matter of fact, there was never going to be a time I'd tell him that. I'd have to shorten it, to avoid embarrassment.

The rest of the lesson passed by quicker than I would've thought. Jacob didn't ask me why I was grounded again since Mrs. Cook was no longer writing on the board, and as usual, her eyes watched every student carefully. It was almost scary.

Gathering my books together, Jacob was suddenly at my side. "So?," he asked expectantly.

Turning to face Jacob, I studied him a moment before giving him an answer. Everything he wore looked new, I'd never seen them on him before, from the light blue button up shirt to the dark jeans and bright white sneakers. As always, he looked stunning but I hated the dark circles under his eyes that indicated he hadn't slept. I'd ask him about it if we were closer…

"My mom caught me sneaking in last night, I shut the door a little too loudly, so I'm grounded," I told him honestly.

His dark, deep-set eyes hardened. "Until when?."

"Until I…" I couldn't tell him exactly what my mom had said. "Until she decides."

Glancing over at the doorway where Embry waited for him, he asked me quickly. "But you'll come to the bonfire Saturday right?."

Nodding, I offered him a small smile. "Yes, I'll figure out a way."

"Good." He brought a hand up to my face, cupping my cheek. "I need you to be there, it's important for me.. for us."

There were so many things I wanted to ask him, starting off with what he meant by _us_, but he was gone before I knew it. One question was eating at me though, I still hadn't asked him whether he was the one who'd carried me home that night.

Perhaps I'd get a chance on Saturday.

* * *

The cafeteria was jam-packed as usual with hungry students as they all queued up for lunch. Considering I had already eaten toast this morning, I decided to join Kara at our table, knowing she was dying to ask me tons of questions.

"Don't tell me you're on a diet now," she said as I sat down across from her. "You're not suffering from obesity."

"Kara!," I hissed. "I'm just not hungry, jeez."

She held her hands up, conveying innocence. "Lord knows what Jacob's been saying to you."

"Jacob's not like that, now Nick on the other hand…"

"At least Nick isn't gigantic! Jacob Black and his pack look like they live on steroids," she shot back.

"Pack?."

"It rhymed, besides , they remind me of animals sometimes. Don't ask me why."

I laughed darkly to myself. "Funny how you're defending Nick, you don't even know him."

"Nina," she sighed. "I'm suffering from PMS at the moment, it's not my fault."

Kara loved to blame everything on her period, it was quite funny actually. She'd be blabbering away, and then the instant she said something to piss me off, she'd cover it up by saying it was PMS.

"Well I'm grounded, mom caught me sneaking in last night," I mumbled.

Her jaw dropped. "What! how?."

So I filled her in on everything; from the time I entered the sea in search of Jacob to the moment I fell asleep in my bed, fully clothed. The best thing about telling her everything, was that I didn't need to leave out parts. Like how good it felt to have strong, muscular arms carry me around.

Kara loved hearing my stories, but lately she's been taking them a lot more seriously. She was constantly warning me about my parents, and that even though Jacob was a very nice guy, it wasn't safe to be sneaking off with him in the late hours of the night.

Although I knew she was only looking out for me, she was wrong about Jacob. There was no one in the world I felt more safe around, everything about him was caring and protective. But Kara wouldn't understand, she didn't know how I felt around him, nobody did.

"Nina," she started, her voice guarded. "Just say you and Jacob had sex-."

"Kara!," I shrieked, blushing furiously.

"Ok fine, just say you and Jacob _made love_," she said, ignoring my glare. "What would you do if you got pregnant?."

My eyes widened. "Firstly, we will _never_ do that okay? Him and I are friends, that's all. And secondly, if I were to do it with someone, we'd be using protection."

Every friend that I had _knew_ I hated talking about anything sexually related, not because I was a prude, but because I found it uncomfortable. Losing my virginity wasn't something I wanted to talk about either. Kara had brought up the subject once while she was over at mine, and I told her that I wouldn't give myself to someone I didn't love.

And it was the truth, no matter how good-looking or charming a guy was to me, I would not have sex with him just for the sake of it. No, I was saving myself for the right guy, a guy I loved and who loved me in return. Maybe I'll never find that guy, but I'd certainly wait.

Kara rolled her eyes. "Just answer my question."

"I'd.. I'd…" I paused for a moment, picturing myself pregnant with Jacob's child. The drama that'd ensue between my parents and I… the beautiful newborn baby with jet black hair wrapped in a white blanket, a perfect contrast to its russet skin… "I'd keep it, and live on my own somewhere."

"So predictable," she giggled. "You're in too deep now Nina, you're in love."

"I know," I whispered. Staring across the room at him as he sat with his friends, it seemed as though he was staring over at me too, but I knew I was imagining things.

She smiled. "So you're admitting that you're in love with him?."

I nodded, meeting her eyes once again. "Last night I admitted it to _myself_."

"_Why_ was that part left out when you told me everything?."

"Because I feel like a complete moron, I shouldn't have let myself fall for him, now all I'm waiting for is to have my heart broken."

Reaching across the table, she patted my hand. "You were always in love with him, as weird as that is, and although you guys are just friends at the moment, things will change soon. There's just something about you and him, like this was supposed to happen. Like you were supposed to come here to La Push… as cheesy as that sounds."

"As nice as that sounds Kara," I corrected. "I really doubt that we'll become something more. I know it's strange how he wants to spend time with me, but maybe that's just his way. Look at him, he has girls falling at his feet, so there's got to be someone he's interested in."

"Yep," Kara nodded, just as the bell rang. "It's you he's interested in, those boys don't mix with anybody. So just you wait, I'll be proved right."

Giving her a weak smile, I slipped out of my seat before telling her I'd see her later. There was nothing more I could say, she was so sure we'd become a couple. If only what she thought was true.

If only Jacob loved me back.

* * *

When the final bell rang, signaling an end to school, I decided to wait until everyone left the classroom. Our Art teacher had us paint anything that made us feel joy, so of course I'd wanted to paint Jacob but that would've just been weird, and I wouldn't have done him justice. So I settled for painting the house I lived in while in Seattle. Back then everything was perfect.

My parents and I had a very good relationship, although dad was rarely home. Joey was just Joey, but he was happier there with all his friends. School was great since I practically grew up with everyone who attended it, and Michelle… my best friend, she understood me like no one else.

It'd been a while since I'd last phoned her, not because I didn't want to, but because she had a life of her own. She made new friends, just like me, and there were times when I could tell she was busy just by the sound of her voice. I'd never forget the friendship we had though.

With a sigh, I put my things away and slung my backpack over my shoulder.

"You never told me you were into Art," a voice said, his words echoing throughout the empty classroom. Jacob was leaning against the doorframe, watching me with a crooked smile.

Startled, I stumbled backwards, almost knocking over someone's painting. "A warning would've been nice," I told him, my heart jumping in my chest.

He chuckled. "There's nothing wrong with surprises every once in a while, besides, I wanted to see what you were painting."

"It's nothing special," I said, relieved I hadn't taken the chance to paint him.

Making his way into the classroom, towards my painting, I found myself staring into his dark brown eyes. They were mysterious in a way, as though they'd seen things no one else had. Suddenly I felt the need to know, like it was the most important thing in the world.

But what if I don't want to know?... gosh, I hated that voice in the back of my head.

Reaching the painting, he turned his back to me to study it as I stood awkwardly behind him, watching his hair sway over his shoulders with every movement he made. For some reason, the baby I imagined we'd have popped into my head, and I found myself wondering whether he looked like that as a newborn.

"It's beautiful," he said thoughtfully, turning to face me. "Where is it?."

I blushed with his compliment. "In Seattle, my old home."

"So," he started, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. "That's what brings you joy?."

"Yeah it does, life was different there. Easier," I told him, noticing how his face hardened slightly.

Taking a deep breath, he asked. "Are you going back there?."

His question caught me off guard. "I don't know, I'll have to leave for college soon, so you never know."

Jacob bit his lip, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared deep into my eyes. Next thing I knew, he was standing directly in front of me, taking both my hands in his. "Is college what _you_ want or what your parents want?."

The warmth from his large hands traveled up my arm, to all parts of my body, giving me that safe, contented feeling once again. Our eyes bore into each other, while our breaths came out heavy. One of us waiting for an answer, one of us thinking the question through.

College was what I _had_ wanted, before we left Seattle, but now I wasn't so sure. Leaving La Push seemed impossible to me, it's the only place that's ever felt like home, and to think of leaving Jacob… I couldn't—as insane as that is.

Though my parents would definitely make me go, no questions asked.

"I wanted it," I said quietly. "But now I'm having second thoughts."

He gave my hands a gentle squeeze. "Don't go Nee, you'll be unhappy."

"But it's not about what I want Jake." Lately I'd started calling him by his nickname. "It's about what's right."

"What's right is you not going," he argued. "What's wrong is you pleasing other people when all it does is make you unhappy."

Searching his eyes, I asked. "If I stay, what am I supposed to do?."

"You can get a job helping out the little kids at school, you'll be an adult so your parents can't make you do things you don't want, and I'll be here for you, always," he said quickly, as if he'd memorized the speech.

I stared up at him. "But I'll be stuck here forever, and my life will be going nowhere."

Letting one of my hands go, he brought a hand up to the side of my face. "Honey, your life won't be how you picture it to be, it'll be different. Life's full of surprises. "

Yeah, there'll be plenty of surprises including the day I'm invited to his wedding. As much as I want to stay here, it's mostly because of him, and since I can't have him, what's the point in staying? Not going to college would probably be the biggest mistake of my life.

"I wish you were right…" I trailed off, noticing how he stiffened. His eyes were lost in concentration, as though he was listening to something. "What's wrong?."

He swallowed, taking a step back as he began to unbutton his shirt. "I have to be somewhere, I'm sorry."

I frowned. "I don't understand."

His whole body began to tremble as he shrugged out of his shirt, chest rising and falling with his now heavy breathing. The heat his body radiated seemed to have doubled, causing my body to flush with the warmth. This whole scene taking place confused me to no end.

Then, he was in all his half-naked glory, standing before me as I tried to keep my eyes on his and _not_ his rippling muscles. With a shaky hand, he handed me his shirt. "Keep it for me," he said, his voice strained.

"But I-."

Suddenly I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug, his strong arms wrapped tightly around my waist. "We'll talk later," he whispered into my ear. "Leave your bedroom window open."

"Jake," I breathed against his chest. My heart beating rapidly with thoughts of him climbing in through my window. "How?."

"I'll show you tonight," he promised, before pressing his plump lips to my burning cheek

My hands gripped at the bare flesh of his back, as his shirt fell to the floor. Never would I have I thought that a simple kiss on the cheek with bring me so much pleasure, but it did, because it was from Jacob Black.

Pressing another kiss to my cheek, he pulled away from me slowly, his hands sliding over my hips until they were back at his sides. Staring down into my eyes with a dazed look, his lips parted but no words came out, just sharp intakes of air.

Then he was gone, running out of the classroom faster than I would've called normal. Leaving me standing there, with weak knees, a shivering body and a hammering heart. Definitely the most intimate moment I'd ever had with him.

And to think I'd be seeing him in my room tonight… I wasn't sure if I'd survive that.

* * *

**A/N: Hello again! Right so because I couldn't respond to your reviews for last chapter, I'm going to answer some of the questions you guys have asked here:**

**Sisicloud: Is this around the time the volturi came to kill Nessie in Breaking Dawn?**

_Answer: No, this is after that. Because I wanted the story to center around Jacob and Nina, without having all that drama in it. _

**RealLifeWolfGirl: Why doesn't Billy just grab Jake's birth certificate and bring it to Nina's parents?**

_Answer: Nina's father is very stubborn and unreasonable, so who knows? Maybe he'd slam the door in Billy's face. But don't worry, I've got it all planned out._

**ForeverTeamEdward: Why can't one of the elders step in to tell them (Nina's parents) how unreasonable they're being without telling the secret?**

_Answer: I've thought of doing that, but like I said, I've got it all worked out and hope you guys like the idea once it happens._

**ShareTheBook: Will Nina stay with Jake in the end?**

_Answer: I suppose you mean when he reveals his secret to her? Well… I guess you're just going to have to wait to find out. Wouldn't want to spoil it on you or any of my readers, hehe._

**Anyway, cheers for the questions! You've all been absolutely amazing! Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**


	13. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me

**A/N: Hello there! I'm sorry that this turned out to be a day late, BUT, I do have an excuse, I decided to make it a little longer. So I really hope you all like it. Thank you so much for the reviews, I replied to them all, except for the anonymous ones. Speaking of my anonymous reviewers, if you guys have a question, let me know and I'll answer it here. And to those of you who have your PM disabled, feel free to ask me a question too.**

**Also, this chapter is named after a U2 song. So credit goes to them for the title.**

**Anyway, with further ado.**

**Chapter 13: Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me**

For a whole three hours I sat on my bed, patiently awaiting Jacob's arrival. His shirt which he'd handed to me in class, lay upon my study desk next to my homework, constantly reminding me that everything he'd said to me earlier _was_ real.

When I'd gotten home from school, I was indeed a nervous wreck. My knees had been so weak, that climbing the stairs proved difficult. Once inside my room, I'd stared at my reflection in the mirror, and I was shocked to find that my face was redder than it had ever been. Luckily for me, my parents were out or else there would've been a lot of questioning.

To think that a person of the male sex, who I found so incredibly attractive, could do this to me, was unbelievable. He hadn't even really done anything, except kiss my cheek twice, though he was half-naked so that may have made the situation more exciting for me…

So the memory of him holding me close just kept spinning around in my head all day long, when I should've been wondering why he'd left me alone in the classroom so abruptly. Stripping off your shirt, and telling someone you have to be somewhere, hardly made any sense.

Speaking of Jacob, it was a quarter past twelve and he still hadn't arrived. What if he decided he wasn't in the mood anymore? Or what if he'd just said that to me in class as an excuse to leave? There were so many possibilities, but I didn't want to think anymore. It was making me feel bad.

Though one thing wouldn't leave my mind, and it caused my heart to sink. What if Jacob had a girlfriend? I could picture them holding hands, hugging, cuddled up on a sofa together. Then the more painful images assaulted my brain; I could see them kissing, her fingers in his hair, his hands on her waist… and I forced myself to stop picturing him with another woman. It made me feel strange, in a bad way of course.

Slipping out of bed, I stood in the middle of my room, contemplating whether or not I should just shut my window and get to sleep. Besides, I was freezing in just my grey sweats and white t-shirt. Jacob wasn't coming anyway, I was just _hoping_ he'd turn up.

But before I could do anything, my purple curtains swayed as an enormous body jumped through my window, causing me to jump back with fright. It wasn't everyday a huge guy with abs you could fry eggs on entered your room in _that_ particular way.

"Hey," he whispered hoarsely.

"Uh hi," I managed to say. Staring at him with wide eyes, as my heart almost burst out of my chest.

Jacob looked even more beautiful in the dim light of my room, every muscle on his half-naked body glistening with sweat as he breathed heavily. His long locks cascaded over his shoulders, sticking to his damp skin, while I so badly wanted to run my hands through the silky heaven.

By the looks of things, it seemed as though he'd just ran a marathon… barely clothed. If he thought that spending time around me in nothing but a pair of cut offs that hung very loosely on his hips was acceptable, it wasn't.

How was a girl like me supposed to remain calm around a guy like him if he continued to look like that? Hadn't he seen the way girls look at him during class, and almost everywhere he went? Surely he had. So why was he always shirtless around _me_? La Push wasn't exactly warm.

Taking a step closer to me, he gulped. "I'm sorry I took so long."

"It's okay," I said in a small voice. Still not completely relaxed in his presence, I'd never had a guy in my room.

"There were things I had to do, I was busy," he explained. "I shouldn't have made you wait, you've got school tomorrow."

I sat down on the edge of my bed, because my knees were too weak to keep me up. "You've got school too," I pointed out.

Taking a few more steps closer to me, he sighed. "I can't go tomorrow."

At that, I perked up. "W-Why?."

"Because I've got some errands to run," he told me, a remorseful look on his face. "But I'll see you at the bonfire on Saturday."

Although Jacob was telling me nothing but the truth, I still didn't fully understand what he was saying. It was like he was telling me everything, but hiding everything at the same time. It caused a lot of confusion on my part.

"You can't keep skipping school Jake, your grades will drop."

Dropping to his knees in front of me, his eyes were now level with mine due to his height. "That's an exaggeration Nee, I hardly skip school."

"Yes you do, almost every week there's a day you don't show up," I told him, but as soon as the words left my mouth I instantly regretted them. I'd just revealed to him that I actually notice when he's absent… very smooth Nina, very smooth.

But Jacob didn't seem to notice, instead he yawned, making me realize that he was obviously very tired. "Well then I guess I've become so used to skipping that I don't realize, honey."

His deep brown eyes stared into mine, and although his eyelids were drooping with sleep, so many emotions flashed through them. The three I was sure I saw were; want, need and devotion. Though none of them made any sense to me.

Then suddenly, I remembered that night I was carried home and put to bed. I'd felt so many emotions in the strangers arms, that what I saw in Jacobs eyes reminded me of it. I couldn't keep it in anymore, I had to ask him, it was now or never.

"Jacob," I started, my stomach doing somersaults. "Can I ask you something?."

"Of course Nee," he replied sleepily, resting his hands on my knees. "Anything."

Before I lost the courage, I blurted it out. "Was it you who took me home that night?."

He stared at me for a long moment, before standing up to his full height. Running a shaky hand through his hair, he took a deep breath. "Yes."

Relief washed over me as my assumptions were proved right, it _was_ him. "Why didn't you tell me?," I asked. Craning my neck to look up into his face.

"I didn't think you'd remember," he said quickly, sitting down next to me on the bed. The mattress squeaking under his weight. "You never brought it up."

Which was true, I hadn't, but why keep something like that to yourself? I know I would've told him if it were the other way around. Not to mention that he'd actually been on my bed before tonight, he'd slept with me!

I turned to look at him. "Jacob you… you slept with me."

At that his cheeks turned a dark shade of pink as he stared down at his hands on his lap. "You wanted me to," he said quietly.

"But I was half-asleep and possibly drunk, I didn't know what I was saying," I argued. Not because I was angry with him, but because I didn't understand him.

His eyes hardened as they met mine once again. "So you're saying that if you had been sober, you wouldn't have wanted me to lay next to you?."

"I.. don't know," I said. Embarrassed to tell him the honest truth.

"So I'm in the wrong here?," he asked, sounding angered. "You're saying that I was taking advantage of you in your drunken state?."

My jaw dropped. "Jacob I didn't mean it like that."

"Well you didn't really give me a meaning did you? All you said was that you don't know, how am I supposed to take that?."

Jacob was angry, irritated and hurt. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to deal with him feeling like this, it upset me, but this wasn't something I was used to. Not to mention I had never seen him this way, and I was sorry for what I'd said to him.

The bed shook slightly beneath us, as he stared at me, waiting for me to speak. A droplet of sweat ran down his neck, over his chest as the heat from his body doubled for the second time today. His natural musky scent growing stronger, invading my nostrils.

"Jacob, can you just calm down," I whispered, watching him carefully.

He shivered as he ran a hand over his handsome face. "So you didn't want me that night? You didn't want me to hold you, to comfort you, to put you to sleep? That was all just in my head?."

"It's not like that," I mumbled. Staring down at my knees, an awkwardness arising between us.

"That night in my house, you slept with me then, but you were sober. Did you not want that?," he questioned.

Looking up to meet his eyes, blood rushed to my face at his question. "I _did_.. want that."

His eyebrows pulled together as he studied my face. "So that night, _did_ you or _didn't_ you want me to sleep with you?."

Of course I had wanted him then, even in my drunken state. Everything about him I yearned for, needed, wanted, but sitting here next to him in the quietness of my room made me nervous. Especially when he was so keen on knowing the truth.

If Kara was watching us now, she'd probably think Jacob was acting rather strangely. Since most guys wouldn't really care about what you wanted, unless they were completely devoted to you. Then again, most guys don't jump into a girls window at night.

Except for Jacob.

"Uh," I started lamely, losing myself in the dark chocolate orbs that were his eyes. "Yeah."

Scooting closer to me, he brought a hand up to my cheek, stroking it. "Yeah you did, or yeah you didn't?," he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Realizing we were in such close proximity together, my breathing turned shallow as my heart hammered against my chest. Our thighs were touching, and our faces were inches apart, that I could taste his sweet breath on my tongue. While his natural musky scent filled the room, making me dizzy with need for him.

"Yeah I did," I answered automatically. His closeness affecting me both physically and mentally.

His forehead touched mine, slick with sweat, as he ran his thumb over my cheekbone. "I wanted to sleep with you too," he breathed, placing his free hand on my knee.

"Jake," I sighed. My whole body shaking with excitement and nervousness, the feeling of his hand on my knee causing electric jolts to spread through my veins.

Was this what love felt like? Because I don't recall anyone describing it as _this_ intense.

His nose brushed over mine, while he tightened his hold on my knee. "Nee," he murmured, his warm breath tickling my lips.

Things were only becoming more and more intense, that I found it impossible not to touch him anymore. Hesitatingly, I placed my hands on either side of his waist, reveling in the feel of the warmth and softness of his dark skin.

Jacob leaned in to my touch as he let out shaky breath, his forehead no longer pressed to mine but to my shoulder. Gazing down at him, his long silky hair flowing over his shoulders and back, I realized how intimate this would look to an outsider.

And I also realized how much more intimate I wanted this moment to be, no matter how high my moral standards were. But, I was also very aware of how shaky and nervous I was. In fact, to put it simply, I was terrified.

I've never been this close to a guy, not that I've never had male friends before, but it was nothing like my friendship with Jacob. Now I was actually starting to wonder whether I could even call this a 'friendship', after all, friends don't get this close do they?

Slowly, hoping I wasn't taking a step too far, I began to rub his sides. His skin was soft, yet thick with muscle, and I wondered what the rest of his body would feel like. However I knew that I wouldn't have the courage to touch him anywhere else, though I wondered if he'd let me.

"Jake?," I whispered, his head suddenly feeling very heavy on my shoulder for some reason.

No answer.

"Jake, are you okay?."

Once again, no answer.

As carefully as I could, I pressed my hands to his abdomen—yes, where his bulging six-pack lay— and pushed him away from me, gently. I expected him to say something, or maybe even apologize for not hearing me when I'd spoken, but much to my surprise, he fell backwards onto the bed. Obviously in a very deep sleep.

To say he looked cute would've been an understatement, he looked unbelievably adorable. The content look on his face made him look years younger, and the small smile on his lips caused my heart to swell with love.

Deciding that he needed his sleep, I made sure my bedroom door was locked before crawling onto the bed to lay next to him, but not against him, that would be an invasion of his personal space. Although I wished I was wrapped up in his strong arms.

So laying vertically on my bed next to the love of my life, I fell asleep as a cool breeze blew in from my open window.

Dreaming only of him.

* * *

Friday morning, I woke up alone in my bed, and found myself wondering whether it had all been just a dream. There was no evidence that he'd been in my room except for the open window, and a distinct musky smell.

At school, I decided not to tell Kara about Jacob visiting me the night before. I knew she'd think it was strange, and inappropriate, so instead I settled for telling her about him appearing in my Art class. To my relief, she didn't see anything wrong with him giving me his shirt, she'd said it was hot— one of her favorite words.

When I'd gotten home that evening, I couldn't help but feel guilty about keeping things from Kara. She was my best friend, and I knew in my heart that she wouldn't keep anything from me if she were in my place. However, like I'd said before, Jacob was different.

Saturday rolled around quicker than I thought it would, and by the time the clock struck seven, I was pacing around my bedroom, wondering how I'd sneak out without my parents or Joey noticing.

It was funny how one knock on our front door, solved my problem.

"Sue Clearwater?," I said in surprise, though it came out as a question.

She smiled brightly at me. "Hello Nina, how are you?."

"G-Good," I stuttered, stepping backwards. "Come in."

"Thank you," she said, once I shut the door behind her and took her coat. "Is your mother home?."

I nodded. "Yeah, she's on the phone at the moment. I'll let her know you're here."

Sue grabbed my arm as I turned on my heel. "Nina dear, don't you think _now_ would be a good time to leave?," she asked behind me.

Turning around to face her, I frowned. "Leave?."

"Yes, you're not going to bail on Jacob or you?."

"No, but-." I bit my lip. "My parents…"

She took my hands in hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Don't you worry about them now, I'll take care of that. Now hurry before they see you."

Giving Sue a quick hug, I thanked her before slipping out of the house.

The cold air hit me as soon as I was outside, and I mentally scolded myself for not throwing on a cardigan before leaving. So considering my brown button-down shirt and jeans weren't going to keep me warm, I let my hair down, before walking as fast as I could to First Beach.

Jacob must've sent Sue over, there was no other explanation for that. What puzzled me was why she did it, they weren't even related. Then again, what did I know? Maybe she was his aunt or perhaps she was close to his family. There were so many unanswered questions.

Normally on a night like this, I'd be very excited to see Jacob, and I'd be in one of my giddy moods. But for some reason I wasn't, I could tell that tonight wouldn't be like any of the other nights I'd spent with him, and the thought scared me a little.

First Beach was pretty much deserted when I arrived, though I could see a bonfire a little further down, no doubt the one I was invited to.

Butterflies immediately assaulted my stomach, while my heart picked up its pace as I spotted the one and only, Jacob Black. He was speaking to his father, whilst the rest of the group sat around the fire, talking and laughing together.

As usual, he looked as beautiful as ever in jeans and a black fitted t-shirt. His long, silky locks were pulled back at the nape of his neck, and I was instantly reminded of Thursday night, when he'd fallen asleep on my shoulder.

So adorable… so sweet… so breathtaking…

"Nina," a familiar voice said, tapping me on the shoulder. Bringing me back to reality, out of my reverie.

My eyes snapped up to meet Embry Calls friendly ones. "Oh hi! Sorry, I didn't see you." I offered lamely, giving him an apologetic smile.

He shrugged. "I understand, you just looked lost standing here so I thought I'd introduce you to everyone."

"Sure sure, that'd be great," I said quickly, instantly realizing that I'd used Jacob's catch phrase.

"Oh and before I forget, thanks for helping Jake and I out in English the other day. It was really nice of you." Glancing over his shoulder, he smirked. "Jacob wouldn't shut up about it, I think the whole population of La Push knows now."

Blushing furiously, I followed Embry towards the bonfire, hoping nobody would notice. What he'd said surprised me, because Jacob hadn't mentioned anything about it, but apparently he was grateful… or maybe a little too grateful—_not_ that I minded.

Ten minutes later I found myself laughing at a joke Quil Ateara cracked. Yeah, it was pretty lame but that's what made it funnier, although a certain a guy I'd been introduced to named Paul didn't seem to think it was in the least bit funny. In fact, he looked like he wanted to rip Quil's head off.

With the exception of the hot-headed guy, everyone was very welcoming and friendly, especially Sue Clearwater's son, Seth. He'd asked me to sit next to him on a log, and in less than a minute, I found myself relaxing as he spoke to me in a kind voice.

"Stealing away my girl Clearwater?," a husky voice asked, causing us both to snap our heads up.

There he stood before us, arms crossed over his broad chest, a playful look in his dark eyes. He was so unbelievably tall that my eyes were level with his powerful thighs, the dark jeans he wore clinging to him like a second skin, making him that much more mouthwatering.

Seth raised his hands up, feigning innocence. "Just welcoming her to the family."

Jacob raised an eyebrow, his eyes meeting mine. "Is that so Nina?."

"Yeah," I said, a little breathlessly. "Seth's the brother I never had."

"Aw, sweet." Seth chuckled. "So what does that make Jake? My brother-in-law?."

Both Jacob and I stiffened at his question, although we knew it was only meant as a joke.

"Um, I don't know," I answered carefully, turning to look at Seth. "Jake can be whoever he wants."

"Being your husband will do just fine," Jacob said firmly, causing my head to snap up once again.

If I had been blushing earlier, then I was definitely one-hundred times redder in the face now. Not to mention my stomach was doing somersaults, and my heart was about to break out of my chest with the force of its beat.

Being my husband would be just fine with me too Jacob— _as if_ I'd tell him that.

Staring up into his dark orbs, something about the way he looked at me had a shiver running up my spine, and all over my body. His expression held no humor, yet there was a hint of mischievousness in his half-smile.

"Great!," Seth said happily. "Now we just need to find you two a kid."

Before I even had the chance to freak out, Jacob extended his hand out to me. "I'm taking Nina with me so she can hear the stories being told and _not_ your imaginary family ideas."

"But she was enjoying it," Seth fake-whined.

Taking Jacob's hand, he pulled me up off the log. "No _you_ _were_, if it makes you feel better, you can find us a kid."

I bit my lip as I stood awkwardly next to Jacob, hoping they wouldn't notice me blushing. There was nothing more embarrassing than having someone joke about you and your crush being a married couple _with a child_! Gosh, if Kara was here she'd literally laugh out loud at my expression.

Lacing his fingers with mine, he took me over to another log which was situated closer to where the elders were sitting. The fact that he held my hand in that way, made me wonder if he knew how I felt about him, and that the only reason he did it was out of pure kindness.

Then, as we sat down on the log side-by-side, I remembered once again that this was the first time I'd seen him since we slept together on my bed. Which made me feel kind of awkward and nervous…

"You're not afraid of scary stories are you?," he whispered against my ear, startling me.

Turning my head to the side , to stare up into his eyes, my breath caught in my throat at the closeness of air faces. "N-No, they're just stories."

He chuckled, our noses almost touching. "Stories are they? What if they're real?."

"Well that'd be both cool and scary," I replied.

"Remember when we talked about the merman?," he asked, searching my almond-shaped eyes.

I nodded, my nails digging into my jean-clad knees unconsciously. "What about it?."

"Was it both cool and scary when you dreamed of me that night? You know-." He grinned. "As a merman."

At that question, all seriousness left me and I found myself laughing. "Maybe it wasn't you I dreamt of that night Jake."

"Don't play around with me Nee," he said, a playful look in his eyes. "I know you dreamt of Jacob Black that night, no doubt about it."

"I didn't, really." I giggled.

Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his side, he rested his cheek on the top of my head. "Two nights ago you dreamt of me," he told me, lowering his voice. "You couldn't help but say my name in your sleep."

Before I could deny his accusation, I thought back to that night, but couldn't remember whether I _had_ dreamt about him or not. He was always in my dreams, that they no longer stood out in my memory unless they were bazaar.

However, I never wanted him to know that I dreamt about him, it was private and quite embarrassing to say the least. Especially when all we were was just friends.. or were we acquaintances? It was just all so confusing.

Billy Black spoke up then, grabbing all of our attention. "Tonight I promised my son, Jacob Ephraim Black, that I would tell his _dear friend_ Nina O'Neil the Quileute Legends along with everyone here, on a night I'd normally stay indoors. As you can see it's cloudy, which means rain is on its way." He gestured to the sky. "But I wouldn't let my son down, and neither would Quil Senior, So have I got everyone's attention?."

I watched as some of the group said 'yes' whilst others just nodded in the elders direction. Billy, like his son, also had an air of authority around him. They both reminded me leaders, with their deep voices, and their wise eyes, that it hadn't gone unnoticed to me that everyone seemed to highly respect Billy. It was a nice thing to see, there was something moving about it.

Jacob's arm tightened around my shoulders, until my head fell against his chest, which seemed to satisfy him— of course it satisfied me too, so much, that after a minute, I looked down to find my hand resting on his knee. Wow Nina, wow!

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm just plain stupid.

Old Quil, much to my surprise, started telling us the very first part of the stories, and I instantly found myself relaxing to his voice, listening intently to every detail. The stories were so magical, so intriguing, that I knew if my mom still owned the book on them, I'd reread it tons of times.

It started off light and easy to follow, but once Billy Black took over from Old Quil, the stories became darker. There were many parts I hadn't known about, and I wondered briefly, whether they were left out of my mom's book on purpose. If so, why?

Jacob had said these stories were scary, and I hadn't believed him, but now as I listened to his father reveal more and more about the Quileute's, I realized that they were. I especially didn't like the sound of the "_cold ones_", they freaked me out to say the least.

What I didn't see coming was warm tears running down my cheeks as I listened and envisioned the story of Taha Aki and the third wife. Whether it was my imagination or not, I felt Jacob stiffen against me, though I doubt he knew I was crying.

Time passed, more was revealed, until droplets of rain started to fall from the sky. Billy Black announced that it was time to leave, and that luckily, all the stories were told. He'd given me a warm smile, before telling Jacob that he should take me home.

As Jacob and I walked together along a path the moonlight provided through the woods, I could sense he was nervous about something.

"What was it that upset you about the Taha Aki story?," he asked suddenly, staring down at me as I walked next to him in silence.

"I didn't think you knew," I replied frowning, craning my neck to look up into his face. "How did you notice?."

He let out a frustrated breath. "Just answer my question."

It wasn't like Jacob to be as agitated and straightforward as he was now, and I was taken aback by it. "Did I do or say something to upset you? Because if I did, tell me right now."

Grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face him, he all but yelled at me. "No! Why do you always have to take offense by what I say huh? Or are you just trying to dodge the question?."

"Jacob!," I shrieked. "Don't talk to me like that! And let go of me!."

"No," he gritted out, clasping his free hand onto my shoulder. "Not until you answer my question."

Maybe Kara had been right all along, maybe sneaking out to meet Jacob was a bad idea, because this was _not_ who I thought he was. At all. And to be quite honest, he was scaring the hell out of me.

"For the last time, let go of me!," I hissed. Struggling against his hold.

"Nina!." His fingers tightened around my arm and shoulder. "Answer my question!."

"What upset me was that the _'cold ones'_ ruined everything. They fed off humans, innocent women from the Makah reservation, and yet people thought it was the wolves. And then, they had to destroy everything! Things got so bad that the third wife sacrificed her _life_, Jacob her _life_, for the ones she loved!," I told him, completely out of breath. "Now let me go."

Except Jacob didn't let me go, he pulled me into a bone crushing hug instead, knocking the breath out of me as his strong arms wrapped around my body, holding me tightly. Burying his face into the crook of my neck, he whispered to me in his native Quileute language, sending unwanted shivers down my spine.

I told myself that I didn't want this delightful hug, that I didn't want to be anywhere near a man who yelled at me, and kept hold of me against my will. But telling myself over and over again only made time pass, until finally, he unwrapped his arms from around me and held me out at arm's length.

"I'm so sorry Nee," he said softly, his deep brown eyes gazing down into mine.

Looking away from him, I tried my hardest to keep my emotions at bay. "Just take me home."

"Nee, don't be like that," he pleaded. "I know I was wrong, I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough," I said. "It's just a word, doesn't mean anything."

"Look at me, please."

So I did, staring coldly up at him. "I'll walk home myself if you're not bothered."

"Of course I'm bothered, but I don't want you to go yet," he told me, his hands sliding over my shoulders, down my arms. "Two hours isn't long enough to make up for a day without you."

The way he'd said that to me, it sounded so genuine, so loving, that I wondered if he meant it the way I hoped he did, miracles could happen right?

Jacob's large hands ran up and down my arms, creating a warmth I so badly craved. He towered over me, making me feel tiny in his presence, while his eyes roamed my body. I felt exposed to him again, naked.

Then, much to my shock and surprise, he took my hands in his and placed them on his chest. For a moment we just stood there like that, me having no idea where to go from there, but he wasn't having any of my nervousness tonight.

"Nina," he whispered. "Listen to your heart, not your mind."

So taking a shaky breath, I hesitatingly pressed my fingertips into the soft skin of his chest, before sliding my hands downwards. Every muscle of his god-like body twitched beneath my touch, and I heard him sigh when I reached his perfectly sculpted six-pack abs.

They felt like heaven… even better than I'd imagined them to.

My pulse raced as he cupped my cheeks in his large hands, our eyes melting into each other in the dark of the night. Everything and everyone disappeared from my sight and thoughts, and all I could see was him, _he_ was my world.

If I was angry with him earlier, then I wasn't anymore. All I could feel at the moment was love, undying love for Jacob Black. He had me pressed against the trunk of a tree, his burning hands on my hips, pressing himself into me until every inch of our bodies were touching.

I couldn't remember how we ended up there in the first place, he had me in a daze.

"Can you see me?," he asked quietly, just as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Here, in the darkness?."

I nodded. "Not clearly, but I can see you."

Dipping his face lower until it was inches from mine, his eyes sparkled. "Is this better?."

"Yes," I whispered. Suddenly feeling very nervous and self-conscious. This was the closest we'd ever been before, and now that things were becoming clear to me—like the fact that him and I were starting to blur the line that was our friendship— I couldn't help but feel a little scared.

"Nee," he began, warm breath fanning my face. "You're so beautiful."

My breathing hitched. "W-What?."

I was hearing things, I've lost it.

"You're so beautiful," he repeated, his gaze falling to my trembling lips.

Okay, maybe not… but miracles were happening.

Arms tightening around his neck, I fought to keep my knees from buckling beneath me. "J-Jacob."

"Nina," he breathed, holding me against him with a hand on my hip, while he brought the other up to stroke my cheek.

Our hearts thumped in unison against each other's chests, the heat his wonderful body radiated melted into my skin, both of us sweating in the cold night air. The very first droplets of rain falling from the sky, landed on our foreheads, and somehow we drew closer.

A shaky breath left my lips as his full ones hovered over mine, just centimeters away. I've dreamed of this moment for so long that it seemed so unreal, so unbelievable that it was close to happening now. Tears stung my eyes, and a strong feeling of want hit me, like never before.

Jacob's hand fell to my neck, his fingers running over my sensitive skin, making my warm body shiver. More foreign words were whispered to me in his native language, before he finally closed the space between us and pressed his sweet lips to mine.

That was the moment my knees gave out, the moment Jacob's arm wrapped around my waist, and the moment our lips moved together for one beautiful long second. Rain pouring down upon us, drenching us, making the scene taking place more memorable.

Inhaling his musky scent through my nostrils, my eyes rolled into the back of my head as I was consumed by this indescribable feeling. A feeling so strong, that my whole being felt ready for anything Jacob wanted or needed.

A baby popped into my head…

But then he broke the kiss, and stepped away from me, leaving me to slide down against the trunk in my weak and dazed state.

"Nina leave, go home" he told me in a strained voice, his head snapping side to side, eyes frantic. "Quickly!"

"Leave?," I asked, sitting back against the tree now. "W-Why?."

This wasn't right, this was all wrong. We'd just had our first kiss, and now he's standing away from me, out of reach, telling me to go home? While I sit here, completely confused and hurt. My heart dropping, my stomach sinking.

Tearing his t-shirt off literally, he stared off into the distance. "Close," he whispered, before his eyes snapped to mine. "Just run back the way you came! I'll explain tomorrow."

"But Jacob!," I snapped.

However Jacob was wrong, because whoever was supposedly close, suddenly appeared like the speed of light a little further down the woods. All I could make out in the darkness was a very pale person, before the man I loved suddenly roared and became.. a gigantic.. russet colored wolf.

What do you do when scary stories become a reality? You run.

And that's exactly what I did.


	14. Beautiful Monster

**A/N: Hello Everyone! How are you all doing? So it turns out I got this up on Friday, it's been a very busy week with Christmas coming up and all, but thankfully I got this up. **

**As always, I was blown away by all your reviews. You're all so amazing! Thank you so much. I replied to you all, and like I said before to the anonymous and PM disabled reviewers, ask me a question if you want and I'll answer it here.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this!**

**Chapter 14: Beautiful Monster**

You know that feeling? The feeling you get when you see something so terrifying that your whole body tingles and your eyes can't believe what they're seeing? Well most people probably don't, because the scariest things you ever see are on horror movies. Never once did I think that I'd see something so unreal, so scarily shocking in reality.

As my legs carried me out of the woods and onto First Beach, I wasn't even sure whether I was running or walking, the only thing I was sure of was that... Jacob… was… I couldn't even think of what he'd just.. transformed into. The memory was too scary.

The beach was deserted as thunder roared in the distance and rain lashed down, soaking me to the bone. But I wasn't even aware of how cold I was, all my mind was set on was getting the hell out of there.

For a split second, I thought I'd driven my car here tonight and a flood of relief washed through me- then I remembered I hadn't.

Kara had been right, I shouldn't have been sneaking out to see a guy I barely knew. Why couldn't I have listened to her in the first place? oh right, because I wasn't using my head, I was following my heart. Well my heart certainly didn't know what to do now.

Passing by the bonfire Billy and Old Quil had been telling the stories at, a shiver ran up my spine, and I wondered whether anyone knew what Jacob was. Perhaps his father did? after all, he raised him.

But I couldn't fight back the anger that bubbled inside of me at the thought of Billy Black allowing his son to mix with humans. There'd been occasions when Jacob had thrown hints about his.. inhumanness. Like when he'd told me his temperature was higher than mine, and when he'd told me the story of the merman.

Was that his way of preparing me for what was to come?

I was almost positive it was, and that only angered me more. How dare he thrust himself into my life _knowing_ what he was! Didn't he care about me and how I'd feel about his secret? Obviously not.

He wasn't what I thought he was, he was the complete opposite. A monster.

Suddenly, I tripped over scattered driftwood and fell face down into the wet sand, my heart hammering against my chest. The rain coming down in buckets now, chilling me inside out. But I made no move to get up, I was hurting both mentally and physically that I couldn't find the strength to.

Memories of the times I'd spent with Jacob played like a movie in my head, from the beginning to the end. The last part scared me, and I tried my best not to think about it, to try and pretend it never happened. Instead I focused on the kiss we'd shared, and how his lips felt even better than I'd imagined.

And so I lay there, curled up into a ball as sobs escaped my throat and salty tears ran down my cheeks.

It felt like I'd been there forever, and I fully intended to stay there until the break of dawn, but a warm breeze drifted over my legs, causing me to roll onto my back immediately— I still can't make out whether that was a mistake or not.

"Nina," he whispered shakily, staring down at me with worried eyes.

I wanted to scream and cry for help, maybe even attempt to run away, but Jacob's eyes held me where I was. We stared at each other for a few long seconds, before my eyes drifted downwards, taking in his whole figure.

He was naked. Oh.

Snapping my eyes back up to his, I tried to mask my shock with anger, hoping he'd believe I wasn't afraid of him or startled by his nudity, just disgusted. However, I didn't wait for him to do or say anything, I just scrambled to my feet as quickly as I could and backed away from him.

Taking a step forward to follow me, I shook my head. "Don't."

"I can explain," he said, his voice strained and hard to hear over the rain. "Just-."

"No," I told him, my lips trembling as I continued to back away from him.

The problem was, how on earth was I supposed to run away? he'd catch me, no doubt about it. But you never know until you try, and if I don't make it… well, there was nothing else I could've done.

Giving him one last stare, I turned on my heel and made a beeline for the parking lot. I didn't know where I got the speed from, because normally I was slow, very slow. Who cared anyway, I was getting further and further away from him.

For the first time in a very _very_ long time, I actually wanted my parents.

"Nina!," he hissed, grabbing my arm and twirling me around to face him.

At least I tried to get away…

"Let me go," I begged, standing still, afraid.

His eyes widened. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Tears started to pour from my eyes again. "Please."

"I would never _ever_ hurt you," he told me, placing his free hand on my shoulder. "Never."

Although a part of me believed him, the other part was afraid and much more dominant of my feelings. Here I was, standing with a man I fell in love with, who turned out to be some sort of mythical creature. I, for one, found that terrifying. How I was even forming words was beyond me.

And I didn't want to begin to imagine how what I saw had taken place, it was far too scary. Weren't things like that supposed to happen in stories only? Nobody would believe me if I told them, and Kara would think I'd lost it. Not that I hadn't already.

"I want to go home," I choked out, shivering in my soaked clothes. Knowing full well that I'd be very sick tomorrow.

Next of all he was gripping my face in his large hands, warming my cheeks as he stared down at me, his long hair dripping wet over his shoulders. "I'll explain everything to you tomorrow, I swear. I understand if you're completely freaked out now, I was too when it happened to me, trust me. Just let me see you tomorrow, and we can talk about it. I'll answer everything. I promise."

I sniffled, my throat constricting as I forced the next words out. "I don't want to see you again Jacob."

His grip on my face tightened, hurt flashing in his obsidian eyes. "You don't mean that."

"I do.."

"Please Nina, please don't do this, please," he begged, breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against mine. "I can't lose you honey, please. We've only gotten to know each other and I wouldn't be able to live without you, please. Don't let go of this."

As much as it hurt me, tore me apart inside, I couldn't give him what he wanted. Us. After what I'd just witnessed, I wasn't up for anything, all I wanted to do was lay in bed and pretend none of this ever happened. So we stood there, me shivering in the rain, crying silent tears as he held onto me, begging me to give him a chance.

The answer was always no.

Unexpectedly and faster than I could've imagined, his hands found their way into my hair as he crushed his lips to mine, attacking my mouth with kisses. Even over the sound of the lashing rain, and thunder, I could hear the wet noises his mouth made while he devoured mine.

Maybe it was foolish and stupid of me, but I let him have his way; I parted my lips for him whenever he wanted access, I stayed still while his sweet tongue slid over mine and I didn't push him away when his kisses became more urgent. I basically allowed him to make love to my mouth, even though it repulsed me— as shocking as that was.

I guess I just wanted him to prove to me that everything would be okay, that his kisses would somehow make things go back to normal and that all this shock and horror would go away in an instant. But it didn't, life wasn't that simple.

My shaky, trembling hands found Jacob's narrow hips, and I pushed against them. However, he was very wet and slippery, and I was suddenly aware of his nakedness. Which made this whole situation seem so very inappropriate.

What if someone saw us? Saw him? They'd think we were… I didn't even want to go there.

So I turned my head to the side, his open mouthed kiss landing on my cheek instead. He must've gotten the hint, because he untangled his hands from my hair and let me go. No longer touching any part of me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry I'm not the right guy for you, I'm a monster."

Choking back a sob, my gaze drifted back up to his. "You're not a monster," I offered. Though we both knew I was lying, after all, if he wasn't a monster I wouldn't have been standing there shaking with fear.

Yet Jacob Black was too beautiful to be a monster, even now, after what I'd seen him turn into, he was still perfect in my eyes. Staring at his naked body would've been rude, but I'd seen everything, and he was flawless. Too gorgeous for words.

That didn't change my mind about earlier though, I was still in shock and I was terrified he'd change again. I just couldn't believe that such things were possible, and being around him scared me, because he wasn't... human.

Why couldn't all this be just a dream?

"You're going to be very sick tomorrow-."

"I'm going home Jacob."

He grabbed my hand. "Then let me take you."

"No!," I yelled, the anger boiling up inside of me again. "No! I told you already, I don't want to see you again. So please, just go home. I can't handle this… it's too much."

Flinching, he dropped my hand. "We'll handle it together Nee, I promise you'll get used to it," he said desperately with hope filled eyes. "I'll tell you every single thing, I'll make things easier for you."

My head started to spin. "Jacob, you don't understand how hard-," I paused, taking a deep breath. "It is for a girl like me to wrap my head around what I've just seen. I'm going to be a mess when I get home, and things will be bad for me, so all I ask is that you stay away from me.. and from my family. Please."

"How can you say that? After everything?," he asked brokenly, lips quivering. "You're my best friend Nina, you know I'll be there for you, you know that I'd never hurt your family-."

"I never knew that you could do what you just did!."

"But I was planning to tell you, I just needed some time."

I shook my head. "No, forget it. I'm going home, and I… d-don't want to see you again."

Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me flush against him. "Please," he begged, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "Don't walk away."

"I'm sorry…," I trailed off, knowing I'd cry if I said anything more. Pressing a kiss over his heart as it thumped against my lips, I pulled away from him, and stared up into his dark eyes one last time. No longer happy and full of life, but teary and sad, the sorrow in them tearing me apart.

So before I did or said anything I'd regret, I backed away from him before turning on my heel and running all the way home in the pouring rain. He never followed me or called my name, and I was thankful for that. Because if he had, I may have told him I loved him, and that would've been a mistake.

That night, standing under the shower as the hot water flowed down my body, reminding me of him, I broke down. Biting down on my lip to muffle my sobs, careful not to wake my parents.

* * *

The first week had been very painful for me; I wasn't getting any sleep, the thought of eating repulsed me, I hardly spoke and I was constantly cold. It was the strangest feeling, because I knew that I was perfectly warm inside my room, yet It wouldn't go away, that wasn't the only thing though.

Whenever I _did_ find some sleep, whether it be for just an hour or less, I'd dream of him.. Jacob. The weird part was that in the dreams I wasn't myself, I was him, and though it wasn't real, I could feel everything. From the painful experience of him exploding into — what I would call — a gigantic wolf, to the painful pulling in his heart while he was away from me.

Of course I'd wake up panting in my bed, drenched in a cool sweat from the overwhelming emotions the dream caused, but I wondered why I was dreaming such dreams. All I wanted was to forget about what I'd seen, and forget about him… although I knew that wouldn't be possible.

As the second week passed by, I gave up hoping the dreams would go away, because I knew they weren't, and instead let my mind wander to other things. Like how he even existed, why he wanted me in his life, who that pale man was that made him turn into the wolf, and what age he really was— you never really know with mythical creatures.

A memory that really pained me was the night I spent at his, and the story he'd told me about the merman. I'd told him that if the merman revealed his secret to me, I'd remain his friend, and now I knew that it was really about him.

Yet, I pushed him away.

He hadn't been to school for the first week, but he'd attended class during the second week. We never made eye-contact, and we avoided each other as much as possible. Though it was awkward sitting next to him in English.

This was my third week of not speaking to him, and I was listening to Kara talk about her college plans during lunch break in the cafeteria. She hadn't brought the subject of Jacob and I up once, but then again, you shouldn't speak too soon.

"Nina." she sighed. "Look I know that you obviously don't want to talk about what happened, but I'm really starting to worry about you. You're not eating, you won't talk, and you look like crap. No offense."

I stared down at my uneaten pizza slice. "I need time Kara."

"But it's just not normal, you guys weren't even dating."

"True." I looked up at her. "But you don't need to be dating someone to have feelings for them."

She rolled her eyes. "I know, but something really bad must've happened Nina, and I know it's your business and all, but I'm your best friend and I think it'd be better if you just told me, it's not like I'm going to tell anyone."

"Some things are just better left unsaid, trust me."

"Not when you're starving yourself Nina! Did he hurt you or something? because if he did, I'll be paying your 'rents a visit."

"He didn't."

Pushing her drink out of the way, she leaned across the table. "Was he forcing himself on you? That-."

"No!," I hissed, mortified. "Nothing like that, just leave it Kara, please."

slumping back in her chair, she let out a breath. "Alright, I will for now. I'm just trying to look out for you Nina. Oh and fyi, Jacob looks like crap too. One hundred times worse than when that Bella girl married some dude and broke his heart. I think he's in love with you."

I snorted. "Kara, you've officially gone too far."

"No really." She nodded. "He is, and the funniest part? You guys aren't even talking anymore. That's always the way isn't it?."

"Yeah," I agreed. Even though I doubted he 'loved' me.

"Has he kissed you?," she asked randomly.

My cheeks instantly started burning, and I avoided her gaze. "Kara please."

"What!," she shrieked. "You guys kissed and you never told me? maybe my theory was wrong."

"Theory? What theory?."

She waved it off just as the bell rang. "Doesn't matter, after school I want details."

"But Kara I don't want to talk about him," I whined.

"All I want to know about is the kiss, then we'll spend the rest of the day talking about other hot guys okay? Ciao."

And then she was gone, leaving me alone with me thoughts once again.

I'd tell her about the kiss we shared in the woods, the one that only lasted a second, the one when I kissed him back and thought mythical creatures didn't exist. The one when I believed he was human and not a beautiful monster.

But I wouldn't tell her about the more intimate one. The one where he was in control, naked…

Across the room, I could see Embry Call and Quil Ateara watching me, Jacob nowhere in sight. Ever since he came back to school, he avoided the cafeteria, much to my confusion. We didn't even sit with each other, so it wouldn't make any difference if he was present or not.

Staring back into Embry's eyes, I wondered whether he knew about Jacob. There was something about the way both of them stared over at me, that told me they knew something, but what puzzled me was how they could hang around with him, weren't they afraid?

They probably didn't, and I didn't have time to wonder anyway, I had classes to attend.

Classes I used to find extremely boring, but now found interesting because they helped ease my mind.

They helped me not think about him.

* * *

Later that day, I had just entered the house when my mom called me into the living room. Her voice sounded a little too high pitched to be classified as normal, and I instantly found myself dreading whatever she was about to say to me.

I'd had enough interrogating for the day from Kara. She practically bullied me into giving her every detail of the kiss Jacob and I shared. Didn't she understand that it physically pained me to talk about him? some people…

Walking into the room, I offered my mom a smile. "Hey."

"Hi honey, come sit next to me."

I hesitantly dropped my schoolbag by the arm chair and made my way over to the couch, taking the spot beside her. She looked off… and a little pale… and a bit nervous. This scared me, because she was never that way.

"So…?," I started, watching her carefully.

Her tired eyes met mine. "Nina I know that you won't take this too well, and I'm so sorry that after all this time things have to change. I really am, and I love you and Joey so much. Don't ever doubt that."

I gulped. "Mom, just spit it out."

For a long second she just sat there, staring into my eyes, tears building up in hers. She seemed so small and fragile at that moment, something I never thought I'd see. But seeing her like that, still dressed in her white pajamas, hair tied back in a messy knot, broke my heart.

She was a good woman, but married to the wrong man— although I did love my dad, they didn't suit each other.

Taking hold of my hands, she took a deep breath. "Your father and I are getting a divorce."

Wait, what?

"What do you mean?," I asked confusedly. Shocked by what I'd just heard.

"We can't do this whole marriage thing… it's just not working out anymore."

"But you love dad, you're always supporting him and treating him well."

She sighed shakily. "People change honey, they get bored.. they meet other people."

Did she mean what I thought she meant?

"Mom," I said slowly. "Did dad meet someone else?."

How the questions were pouring from my mouth after the news I'd just received, I will never know. I suppose it's because I'd been through a lot the past three weeks, and my feelings were numb… if that even made sense.

Like I'd said before, mom and dad were one the most unsuitable couples I'd ever seen. Mom was the sweet, kind, housewife a lot of men would be lucky to have. Whilst my father was the unappreciative, bossy husband that tore families apart.

Not saying my dad didn't have his good points, he did, but if I ever met a man who treated me the way he treated my mother, I'd leave him.

Mom dropped my hands and started picking at her nails, avoiding my eyes. "No, honey, he didn't."

"Well nothing's making sense to me-."

"I did," she whispered.

My jaw dropped, eyes grew wide and I froze, staring at her in disbelief. My _mother_ had met someone else, and not dad, who I would've bet all my money on. This just wasn't happening, life didn't get this complicated.

First Jacob turns out to be a monster, and now mom's a cheater? I think I'm about to pass out.

"I don't know what to say," I told her, my voice strained.

She looked up at me. "You don't have to say a word honey."

And then she started talking, the story of her and a man called Ray unfolding. She'd known him all her life, and as teenagers, they became best friends. In her eyes he was perfect, inside and out, and made her feel special. They worked together at the local grocery store where she grew up, and got they got along like a house on fire.

She described the feeling whenever she saw him magical and sensational. Her thoughts were only of him, and apparently he felt the same. But they never became anything more than friends, because his family moved to England, taking him with them.

The heartbreak was one of the worst times of her life she'd said, they never wrote to each other or called, and after five long years she met my dad. So in an attempt to heal her broken heart, she devoted herself to him, married him, and had children.

But she never forgot Raymond, so a year ago when he looked her up and phoned —Joey and I were obviously in school, dad was working— the love that never died for him, came back full force, and she was that lovesick teenager all over again.

They'd met up a couple of times back in Seattle, but ever since we'd moved here they hadn't been able to. Of course they met up as old friends, but Ray let my mother know how he felt about her, and so she admitted her love for him also.

Though she promised herself she wouldn't cheat on dad, and so this is partly why they're getting a divorce. So she can finally be with the man she truly loves and — in my opinion — deserves.

I found myself crying along with my mom to her story, and I realized that as unbelievable as it was, _real_ love stories did exist.

"There is a problem though," my mom said, a serious expression crawling back onto her face. "Your brother won't take this too well, and that complicates things."

"Don't worry about it, I'll talk to him," I said, giving her a smile. Although inside I was crying, because well… I felt bad for dad.

"Honey, Joey's only a child, he won't understand. Moving won't be easy for him."

My eyes grew wide. "Mom I'm not moving, no way!."

She nodded. "I know you don't want to, but you're old enough to see things for what they really are. Moving isn't so bad."

"But mom, you can't make me leave, mom please," I begged, my whole body shaking for reasons unknown to me.

"Shush, don't worry Nina." She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down. You like Seattle don't you? It's only been a few months since we lived there."

"What are you… is Dad moving to Seattle? Is he? I'm not going!."

This horrible feeling started twisting itself up in my stomach, causing me to wrap an arm around my mid-section. The pulling I'd been feeling in my heart lately increased, and I bit my lip to keep from whimpering.

A pained look crossed her face. "Nina please calm yourself down, I'll go get you a glass of water."

"No." I grabbed her arm. "I'll be fine, but I'm not leaving La Push."

"Honey your father isn't leaving, I am."

"Mom! You can't leave! That's… that's.. unacceptable," I screeched. "This is just so messed up!."

"I know it is Nina," she started. "But no one said life was easy, and you're not an adult yet so we have to make choices for you whether you like them or not."

"Mom.. I love you and all, but I'm not strong enough for this," I said weakly. A tear escaping the corner of my eye. "I can't leave mom, please don't make me."

She hugged me then, tighter than usual. "I love you too Nina, so much. I'm so sorry that your father and I can't get along. You have no idea how many fights we've had over the past few months, it drove me insane. And I need you to know that I'm not divorcing him because of Ray, It's just for my own good." She pulled back, holding my face in her hands. "And it'll be good for you and Joey to leave with me, Seattle has much more to offer you than La Push does. We shouldn't have come here in the first place."

I shook my head, eyes frantic. "No mom, coming to La Push was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm staying, you can't make me leave. I'm sick and tired of being made do things, I've got no say in _anything_. It's driving me insane!."

La Push was tiny and yes it hadn't really got anything, but I felt a connection to it somehow. I felt that I needed to be here, and even though I wasn't talking to Jacob anymore, I didn't feel strong enough to just… leave him.

Gosh, I was so messed up.

"Nina!," she hissed. "You're losing control of yourself, _calm_ _down_."

Calm down? How on earth was I supposed to calm down after being told that my parents are getting divorced and that my mom wants to take my brother and I back to Seattle? This situation just wasn't fair at all.

As much as mom deserved some happiness in her life with a man more suitable for her, I couldn't help but feel outraged by her other decisions. Joey had made friends here and was happy enough, and I was fine… well almost. She couldn't make us leave.

"What about dad? Does he have a say in this?," I asked.

She nodded. "Of course."

"Then we all need to talk about this, and soon, because I will not leave. I swear."

Without waiting for an answer, I jumped off the sofa and ran up to my room.

To think, like I always did.

* * *

That night, the doorbell rang, and when I answered the door, I was surprised to see Kara standing there.

"What the hell are you doing out at this hour?," I asked, staring at her in wonder.

She smiled tiredly. "It's not every night I get a hunky visitor with a message for me to send."

"Okay so I have no idea what you're talking about so just get in out of the cold."

"No! No, I have to go straight home. I came here to give you this." She held out a white envelope and I stared at it. "Take it already."

Snatching it from her hand, I narrowed my eyes. "Is this one of your lame attempts at a prank Kara?."

"No.' she stuck her tongue out at me. "It's actually from Jacob Black."

Rolling my eyes, I slumped against the doorframe. "That's so funny I forgot to laugh."

She swatted me across the arm with her handbag. "Open it and see for yourself, he was like pounding on our front door. Dad thought it was the police or something, and mom thought we were going to be robbed. Anyway I told them it was just a classmate of mine."

My heart sunk. "You're not kidding are you?."

"Nope." She popped the 'p'. "It was him looking as wretched as ever. You know those lovely long locks of hair he's got? Yeah well they didn't look so lovely tonight, he actually looked like he'd been stranded on an Island for the past two months. But it was kind of hot I guess-."

"Kara! Just stop it, please," I pleaded with desperate eyes. "I've already-."

"Yeah I know, you don't want to talk about him, I'll stop for your sake. Can I ask you for one thing though?."

I bit my lip. "Hmm…."

"I _did_ do both of you guys a favor by taking the note from him and bringing it here, you at least owe me this." She smiled wickedly.

"Fine, what is it?."

"Tell me everything-." She pointed at the note in my hand. "That says, tomorrow."

"Okay," I agreed quickly before I started an argument with her. Talk about nosy…

"Goodnight _Nee_," she winked, before walking away.

A blush crept up into my cheeks at the fact that Kara now knew what Jacob's nickname for me was. He must've called me that when he'd turned up at her house, looking all broken and hurt and sad… my thoughts trailed off as my heart leapt in my chest just by thinking of him.

Stepping back inside the hall, I shut the door and stared at the letter all the way up to my room, afraid it would somehow disappear.

Locking my bedroom door, I flung myself onto the bed and ripped open the white envelope. Pulling the yellow-colored paper out, I quickly unfolded it and began to read it very slowly from the beginning as it shook in my hands.

_Nina_

_I know you said you never wanted to see me again, and I suppose that means you don't want to hear from me either. So I decided to write you a letter. It took me a couple of times to get it right, to make everything clear for you, because we both know my handwriting sucks and I'm no good at writing._

_Maybe you'll hate me for doing this, maybe you'll feel I'm crossing the line, the line you drew between us, but I needed to write you this. You deserve to know more about how I feel about you, and maybe by the end you'll want to know more about me._

_Nina I know this may sound strange to you, but I have feelings for you. I've liked you since the day I saw you, and when we started spending time together, I realized how easy it was to be around you. It was as natural as breathing, like I've always wanted._

_You're special to me, more special than you will ever know. I cherish every moment I spend with you, hell, I've been driving my friends crazy talking about you. The whole neighborhood probably knows every single detail of our time spent together- well not everything, I left some parts out, I guess you know which ones._

_But Nina, I don't want you to think that this letter I'm writing to you is just some attempt at trying to get you back, trust me it's not. I've been through a lot over the past three years and I've learned that no matter how hard you try to get someone to want you, to choose you over everyone else, it never works. So yes, I'll hope and pray that you'll give me a chance, but no, I won't overstep your boundaries._

_I want to apologize for that night, the night you let go of us. I kissed you against your will and that was disrespectful of me, I'm really sorry about that. I'm also sorry for my lack of clothes that night, it was totally uncalled for, but I had no other choice… I'd explain if you wanted me to. I just hope you forgive me, because I truly am sorry._

_When I saw you laying there in the sand, drenched with the rain, it broke my heart. You didn't deserve to see that… to see me like that. You were shivering and shaking with fear, god I.. I hated myself for scaring you like that. But Nina, I would never ever hurt you. Please believe me._

_And I miss you like crazy honey, it physically hurts me to not be around you for so long. I can't sleep, I hardly eat, and when I do sleep (whether it be an hour or less) I'm plagued by nightmares. Sometimes, as weird as this sounds, I dream I'm you._

_You're tossing and turning in your bed, you're afraid. You feel alone in this world, like the one thing you've always wanted was taken away from you. It pulls at your heart and you feel cold, all the time- that's the dream I always have of you, and when I wake up, my heart's hammering in my chest, my whole body burning. And I want to see you, just so I can make sure that you're alright. But I know that's out of the question._

_So I wander the night alone, trying to tire myself out, but I can't, all I think about is you and a lot of the time I remember our first kiss. How your lips felt against mine, your skin so soft against my hands, that lavender perfume you wear… It felt so right at the time, but it didn't last… they're always in the way…_

_Look, I just need you to know that I care about you more than anything, that I'll always be here if you need me, and that I'm not mad at you for the choice you made, it's understandable. You're always welcome at my home, and if you ever decide to talk to me again, I'll be whoever you want me to be. Your friend, your brother, you're confidant or your lover._

_I'll be thinking of you all day, every day._

_Yours forever_

_Jacob Black_

_P.S: Take a look inside the envelope, I left you a little something._


	15. Moving Forward

**A/N: HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! Ha ha ha, I just _had_ to get this up as a Christmas present to all of you. You've all been absolutely amazing! Thank you all so much for reading this story and taking your time to review. It's such an honor to know you're all enjoying it.**

**Anyway, I'll shut up and let you guys read**

**Hope ya'll enjoy! **

**Chapter 15: Moving Forward**

Love is _described_ as a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solitude toward a person. It's everywhere you go, and everyone can feel it. Whether it be a pet, lover, friend or family member it's the same thing. Love.

You can feel different types of love for different types of people too, and I've felt it. I've felt that warm, content, loving feeling for my brother, my father and mother, and I've also felt it for my grandparents and close friends.

Then there was the love you felt for that special someone, that someone you're not only attracted to emotionally but sexually too. I'd heard girls at school speak of it, and even my old friend Michelle try to explain it when one day she realized she loved her long-term boyfriend Shane.

I'd wonder what it felt like to actually feel it, to be so devoted to someone that you're _in_ _love_ with them. Love wasn't something I ever took lightly, so at first I found it fascinating that you could meet someone incredible and give them a piece of your heart within months, even weeks sometimes.

The way everyone described it made it sound so wonderful, so beautiful, that I found myself waiting and waiting for the right guy to come along. However he didn't, and I was always Nina O'Neil, the girl who'd never dated a boy before.

There was a stage in my life where I'd find myself crying to sleep, wondering why nobody showed any interest in me, after all, I was always polite and I made sure I looked decent whenever I went out. People or should I say _teenagers_ made having a boyfriend a big deal, which made me feel odd and well… ugly.

But as the months passed, I realized that having a boyfriend wasn't important at all, what was important was my own happiness. I studied the boys my friends were dating, and knew wholeheartedly that if I ever dated boys like them, they'd dump me because it wasn't love they were looking for— though I was.

So when I moved to La Push, met Jacob Black, fell head over heels for him and then gradually found myself loving him, I wondered why this love I felt didn't quite feel the way it had been described as, but one-hundred times stronger. Heart pulling stronger.

And I'm still trying to figure out why that is, because as I set the letter he wrote to me down on the bed, I find myself gasping for breath as my whole body breaks out into a shiver. Tears spring from my eyes unexpectedly, and this overpowering feeling of need overtakes me.

This wasn't love, it was more.

I couldn't even put it into words, it was so powerful, so euphoric. He was always on my mind, in my dreams and in my fantasies. Without him my life felt empty, and I almost always felt weak, helpless and broken.

Nobody I'd known ever felt that strongly for a guy, even after years of being together. Yet I'd only known Jacob a little over two months and he already owned me, I needed him so badly it hurt.

Though I was terrified to accept what he was, it was too shocking.. too scary.

With cold, shaky hands, I picked up the ripped envelope which lay next to me and slipped my hand inside of it, something warm and solid brushing off the tips of my fingers. Pulling it out with extra care, I fought back a sob once my eyes landed on it.

It was a wooden-carved merman, so tiny and delicate, but expertly done. Obviously meant for me to attach to my necklace. Along with it was a tiny note saying: '_I made this the night you left me, and I hope you wear it__.__ I hope you miss us.'_

Bringing the merman to my lips, I kissed it with all the love I had for the man who'd carved it for me and promised myself that I would wear it. No questions asked.

It made me feel guilty in so many ways, the fact that he'd _made_ it being the first. I hated myself for telling him that one night, that I'd remain friends with a guy who also happened to be a merman. But it was just a story, I never thought things like that existed.

So considering the fact that Jacob could actually.. change, did that mean other things were possible too? That all those stories filled with monsters, sea creatures, vampires and so on, were real? That anything _really_ _was_ possible? I'd probably be better off not knowing…

But there was something I had to face, my love for Jacob Black.

I couldn't hide from it forever, it was there and it wasn't going away, especially after what he'd said to me in the letter. He thought I was special, he cared about me, he talked about me all the time, and he was even having the exact same dreams I was having, except in his, he was me.

In truth, I didn't know how to feel about that.

He'd also mentioned that if I ever decided to talk to him again, he'd be whoever I wanted him to be. Of course I wanted him as a lover, there was no way I could remain his friend for long, I needed to _really_ be with him— I loved him _in_ _that_ way.

The letter didn't take too long to write:

_Jacob_

_I don't know where to start. The letter you wrote to me was just… perfect, more perfect than I could've imagined. You're such a sweet guy, so caring and truthful, you're the guy every girl dreams of. You've been nothing but kind to me, and those days we spent together… they're irreplaceable. I guess you're irreplaceable._

_When my friend gave me the letter and told me it was from you, I couldn't believe it. Honestly. What other guy would do that for a girl who told them that she never wanted to see them again? None, except you. Am I angry that you contacted me? no, I'm not._

_I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks, and even though I've replayed the scene that took place all those nights ago, I still can't accept it. It scared me so much Jacob, I couldn't eat, sleep or even talk. And the fact that you… that **you** could **change**, it petrified me._

_Are you even human Jacob? I feel so weird asking you this.. writing to you about this, after all those nights I spent trying to forget you ever existed. Yet here I am replying to you, but I can't help it. I want answers, I **need** them… or I'll never find any peace of mind._

_Do other people know what you are? Did that Bella girl know what you are? Did you think that I'd accept you for what you are? Does it hurt when you change? How did it happen to you? Are you from someplace else? What age are you really? Who was that man in the woods? Are you okay with what you are?... do you have feelings when you change?_

_Gosh I know that's a lot of questions, but I really need to know Jacob, I want to know everything about you. But I can't bring myself to face you, to be in your presence alone, I'm still afraid, I hope you understand. So will you write to me?_

_And I'm… I'm sorry for hurting you before._

_Nina x_

_P.S: Thanks for the gift._

* * *

"You want me to play mail woman? Wow Nina, very mature," Kara said sarcastically as I killed the engine. "Why don't you guys just talk to each other like adults? This is ridiculous."

"It's not that simple Kara, just please give it to him."

She clicked her tongue. "So I have to go all the way to his place and hand it to him?."

"No." I shook my head. "Give it to him after school, but make sure I'm not around."

"Ever hear of the internet? There's these things you sing up for called _emails_, they're very useful in situations like these."

"Kara!."

"Oh! And there's this site called Facebook, everyone has one. You and Jacob should get one too, you could poke each other and all." She winked.

Snatching the envelope from her, I held it securely to my chest. "Fine, be that way. I'll just burn it."

She chuckled. "I really doubt you'd do that. Joey would probably have to play mail boy, I should warn him."

"Kara this-" I held the note out, shoving it into her face. "Is serious. I'm not going to _type_ a letter to him, anybody could do that. Writing is more personal."

"Tell me _Nee_-." She giggled. "How up close and personal _did_ you guys really get?."

My face turned scarlet— as usual. "I'm out of here."

"Jeez! Chillax _Nee_." She grabbed the envelope back from me and started studying it.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What _are_ you doing?."

"Can I read it?."

"If you do, I'll never tell you what his letter said." I smiled.

"If you don't, I won't give him this." She waved the pink (yes, only color I had) envelope around.

I groaned. "Please Kara."

"Okay, okay, but I want every single detail of his love letter to you during lunch."

"Sure."

And so that's how we finally made our way out of the car and into the school.

Kara made room for the letter in her bag, slipping it in-between the middle of a book, while I tried to keep myself composed as we walked down the school corridors together. Of course, I almost had a heart attack when I saw Jacob leaning against his locker, staring right at me.

As faith would have it, his locker happened to be just a little further down from mine, but normally he was never at school this early so I never worried about seeing him there. However, today was a completely different story, and my legs had officially turned to jell-o.

His deep set eyes gazed into mine longingly and for a split second, I was about to go over to him and ask what the matter was, but I was quickly pulled back to reality when I realized how bad he looked.

Kara wasn't lying when she said he'd looked wretched.

That beautiful long hair of his had been tied back into a knot and a beanie had been thrown over his head— he never wore those. The dark circles under his eyes proved to me that he had been lacking in sleep… but more than I thought, and that breathtaking smile of his was no longer present, instead, his lips were set into a straight line.

Not to mention his grey t-shirt and jeans looked worn, as though he'd just thrown them on in a haste. The laces on his boots were also untied… he looked miserable. Even more miserable than I felt.

Which made me feel one-hundred times worse because I loved him and I didn't want him to feel that way. I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him everything was going to be okay, that I'd always be there for him like he'd said he'd always be there for me, and I wanted him to sleep, so he'd look like my Jake again.

But I was a coward, afraid of him because he wasn't exactly 'normal', even though he was the nicest person I'd ever met.

My mind was a complete mess. I didn't even understand myself anymore.

"Okay… awkward," Kara whispered behind me as I moved to unlock my locker. "You'd swear you were buck naked."

My face burned. "Kara don't start."

"No seriously, he's watching you, tongue hanging out and all."

"Seriously Kara," I warned. Pulling out my books.

She giggled. "What _does_ that tongue taste like anyway? I know it was down your throat."

Slamming the locker door shut, I whirled around and glared up into her face. "Would you shut up! Anyone could hear you, this is _not_ your bedroom!."

"Oh please." She rolled her eyes. "As if there's anyone around."

My eyes snapped to where Jacob had been, but he was no longer there, probably heading to English class, like I should be.

"You're lucky."

Reaching out, she pinched my cheek. "You're so adorable when you're pissed off, aw."

"This is just ridiculous," I said, slumping back against my locker. "You're trying to get me really mad, it's obvious."

"Bet he says that though, _'Oh babe, you're so cute when you make that face'_." She started, mimicking Jacob's voice. "And _'Ooh yeah, just like that Nee, just like that_-."

"I've got to go, see you at lunch!," I all but shouted. Brushing past her and scurrying down the corridor, desperate to get away.

"Have fun in English!," she called after me in a teasing tone.

Maybe Kara was crazier than I thought…

Entering English class, I immediately spotted Jacob sitting at his desk , shoulders hunched with his head in his hands. Nobody said anything as they glanced over at him every now and then, but the whispers started once they noticed me.

They meant nothing to me though, the only person that had my full undivided attention was Jacob, but he was in his own little world, so I sat down at my desk and started flipping through my notebook in an attempt to distract myself. Failing miserably in the process.

The lesson was boring as usual, and I couldn't help but notice how Mrs. Cook kept shooting Jacob and I odd looks, she couldn't possibly know anything could she? Then again, word spreads quickly in the small town of La Push.

Embry Call made things awkward by glancing over his shoulder at me with pleading eyes, as if to say he wanted me to start talking to Jacob again. But this—as much as I liked Embry— wasn't any of his business.

When the lesson was finally over, I took my time to gather my things, hoping that Jacob would leave before I did. I saw him from the corner of my eye standing up and grabbing his books, but something stopped him in his tracks.

With burning cheeks, I glanced up at him from under my lashes, and saw him half-smile down at my chest— where his gift to me hung from my golden necklace. It had been ages since I'd seen his beautiful face that close up, and I was instantly reminded of that sweet kiss we shared in the woods.

Before he caught me staring, I quickly diverted my gaze to the books that lay on my lap, and within seconds, he was gone.

Gone when all my heart wanted was for him to stay.

"Hey you!," a voice I thought I'd never hear again called after me as I made my way towards my car.

The school day had flown in much to my surprise, I didn't even have to tell Kara about what Jacob's letter said because she needed to catch up on some homework she hadn't done. I also hadn't seen Jacob again, and so everything had gone smoothly until now…

Slowly turning around, I saw Nick making his way over to me, a grin on his face. "I have a name you know."

He winked. "I know you do, just didn't think I'd draw your boyfriends attention over here."

"Boyfriend?," I asked as he came to stand in front of me. "I haven't got one."

"Oh don't kid yourself, I see the way he looks at you, like you're his and his only. Actually I'm not the only one who sees that, everyone does. So don't play around with me darling."

"Are you talking about J-."

"Shush!." He pressed a finger to his lips. "I don't know about you, but that guy has some impressive hearing. So I'd advise you _not_ to say his name."

We were standing by a beaten up old truck that I imagined some teacher must own. Most of the students had already left, which meant Nick and I were practically alone. I shouldn't have waited fifteen minutes to leave… but it would've been mortifying if Jacob had seen me when Kara was giving him my letter.

However, I didn't want to be alone with Nick, I hardly knew him and so far he didn't seem nice.

"In case you haven't noticed, he and everybody else has gone home."

"Very true," he started. "But you never know, he could be hiding anywhere. It wouldn't surprise me, he-".

I cut him off. "What do you want Nick!."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, how about you tell me what you meant by what you said a month ago."

What I'd said a month ago? As if I even remembered. The only things my life revolved around now were Jacob, Jacob and Jacob. Whatever Nick and I had talked about before had been shoved into a small part of my mind which I couldn't reach at the moment.

"Look, I haven't got time for this, I need to be somewhere, so if you'll excuse-."

He grabbed my forearm. "No! you're not going anywhere until you tell me what you meant."

"Let go of me!," I hissed. "Or you'll regret it."

"Oh, I see where this is going." He narrowed his eyes at me. "You're going to call that _freaky_ boyfriend of yours over here to beat me up huh? Well-."

Without realizing what I was doing, I smacked him hard across the face. "Don't you ever talk about him like that! How dare you!," I yelled. My face burning with anger, I was seeing red. "He's not a freak! He's the sweetest, nicest, kindest guy I've ever met, so don't you… don't you ever call him that again!."

Nick stumbled backwards, clutching his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Psycho."

I stood there staring down at the hand that hit him, my whole body shaking and it felt like I was burning up a fever. Tears stung my eyes, and without saying another word, I spun on my heel and ran to my car as quickly as I could.

The small group of students that were still around stared over at me in shock as I started the engine, and I knew the whole school would know about what just took place by tomorrow. But I didn't care, I didn't care about anything, I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Minutes later, I found myself speeding like a lunatic down the narrow roads of La Push towards home, but I realized as I took a right turn, that I was actually heading down towards Jacob's house.

The thought of his place being considered a home to me, caused me more heartache than I would've guessed. I was having one of those moments where you know what you want and you wish you could have it, but there were things keeping you away from it.

So I pulled over onto the side of a deserted road and not a second later, started sobbing uncontrollably.

I'd totally lost it with Nick, I shouldn't have slapped him, but he called Jacob a freak… nobody could call him a freak, because he wasn't, he was just as special to me as I was to him, though I still didn't feel ready to accept what he was. I didn't know if I ever could.

But that little voice in my head told me to love what's best for me, as hard as it may seem.

Maybe that voice was right? Jacob _had_ said that I'd get used to what he was, except I never gave him a chance. And he didn't deserve to be treated like that, he deserved much more. All he ever did was be good to me, and I did what I did best. Pushed him away.

I just didn't know what to do anymore…

* * *

It was a little past nine pm when the yelling started. Mom and Dad were arguing in the kitchen, their voices harder than I'd ever heard before. To think that our family was falling apart was sad, after all the good times we had together.

There were plenty of bad times too, and I guess those overshadowed the good ones.

I was passing by Joey's bedroom when I heard crying coming from behind his door. The poor kid, he was so young and he didn't need to hear his parents fight. Christmas was just around the corner and there was no doubt he was looking forward to it, but now… things were going downhill for us.

"Joey?," I whispered, entering his room quietly. He was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room crying into his hands, console controller set down next to him and his video game on pause.

He never answered me, just cried harder.

"Joey, I'm sorry." I sat down on the floor next to him and wrapped an arm around his small shoulders. "I'm so sorry things aren't okay right now, I wish there was something I could do."

Sniffling, he peeked out at me through his fingers. "It's not your fault."

"I know but I'm your sister and I care about you. I hate seeing you cry."

"I just want mommy and daddy to stop fighting." He sobbed. "I don't like it."

Holding him against me, I blinked back my own tears. There was no way I'd cry in front of my little brother, especially when it was for entirely different reasons. He wouldn't understand, no one would, I couldn't even tell my best friend why I was so depressed.

Not that Jacob had told me to keep what I'd seen a secret, I just knew.

"Joey, can I ask you something?."

"You just did," he pointed out before bringing his hands down from his face, yet I couldn't see anything except the top of his head. "But whatever."

"Do you know Jacob Black?," I asked nervously. What kind of a question was that? Hell, the kid was crying over our parents and that's what I asked. I'm mental. Seriously mental.

He nodded. "Yeah."

My jaw dropped, and I leaned down to stare into his eyes. "You do?."

"Yep, I see him with his friend on First Beach sometimes. His friend has a baby sister I think, and they look after her."

"But how do you know that's him?," I pushed.

Joey used the back of his hands to wipe his eyes before he answered me. "He used to talk to me, but he stopped."

Because I told him to stay away from my family…

"And what did he talk to you about?."

He shrugged. "Just normal stuff like school and football, oh and he talked about you sometimes. Said he was in your class."

Knowing that Jacob had actually bothered to talk to my brother touched my heart in so many ways that for a second, I thought I was about to pass out. Every single thing about him was perfect— except for the fact that he could change.

It felt wrong to think that wasn't perfect though, like I was lying to myself. But how could I think of it as even good? It was abnormal and scary and basically the Quileute Legends coming to life.

So did that mean Jacob had to protect us from… the 'cold ones'?

The question came to me so suddenly that I flinched away from Joey, my blood turning cold.

"Nina?," he asked warily. "Are you okay? You look really pale."

What if Jacob died? What if he was being ripped apart right now? The 'cold one's' had to be real too.

Oh my…

"I-I have to go, I d-d-don't feel too good. I'm s-sorry," I stuttered, scrambling to my feet.

Joey looked me up and down. "You're weird."

Running out of his bedroom, I ran straight into mine and slammed the door shut behind me. My whole body had grown weak, and I was shivering like I'd been doing a lot lately. Walking to my bed on shaky legs, I slowly sat down on the edge and started to think.

Billy Black had basically told me everything I needed to know about the Quileute Legends, but it had never occurred to me that night Jacob changed that he was a protector of his people. That he was what he was because of circumstances.

Why hadn't I thought about this before? I'd asked him so many stupid questions like; are you human? Where are you from exactly? What age are you really? When everything was staring me right in the face.

He must be a direct descendent from someone who was capable of… shape-shifting.

Falling backwards onto my bed, I squeezed my eyes shut and thought long and hard about everything. My stomach was in knots, and a wave of frustration washed through me because I hadn't got any answers yet.

I needed to know if the stories were real, that Jacob was a shape-shifter and that there were 'cold one's' out there watching us, wanting to suck us dry. My gut told me that it was all true, and that my true love was risking his life for his people, like the good man he was.

And here I was, writing letters to him, and refusing to talk to him, when every time I saw him could be the very last.

That this morning when I'd seen him at his locker could've been the last time we ever made eye-contact, and when I'd peeked up at him in English.. that could've been the last time I'd ever see him.

Suddenly, I felt nauseous, and I knew why. I was worried about him, I was afraid… afraid he'd die.

Because if that were to happen… I'd be destroyed. Completely.

* * *

"Nina? Honey are you okay?," mom asked, walking into the bathroom.

I was leaning over the sink, cold water dripping from my face. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine now."

"You sure?." She squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. "Are you sick?."

Shaking my head, I turned around to face her. "No, I just.. I just thought I wanted to throw up but it passed."

"Listen, Nina." She sighed. "I know it's really late, almost ten, but could you go down to the store?."

"Sure," I fake smiled. "What do you need?."

The streets were as deserted as they always were after nine, which kind of left you feeling a little uneasy, but thankfully I had a car. It was extra cold tonight, and according to the weather forecast it would be snowing by midnight.

One of my favorite songs was playing on the radio much to my surprise, so I sang along to it, and tried to keep my mind off other things. Like mythical creatures and… yeah, I wasn't going to go there.

Two minutes later I was pulling up outside the store and just as luck would have it, it started hailing.

Jumping out of my car and running into the store as quick as I could, the cashier—a middle-aged lady— smiled over at me with a knowing look. Everyone hated the weather, but hey, if it snowed on Christmas I didn't mind.

Speaking of Christmas, I hadn't done any shopping yet and it was two weeks away! Not that there were many people I had to buy gifts for, there was Kara, Joey and my parents. But I seriously needed to get myself a part-time job, I hadn't got much money saved and I hated getting really cheap stuff for the people I loved.

As I went down isle after isle, dropping the things my mom asked for into the shopping basket, I tried to block the image of me giving Jacob a Christmas gift, and the blinding smile he'd give me as he started to unwrap it.

But the image didn't stop there, in fact it just got deeper and deeper. One glimpse at a pancake mixture and I saw myself wrapping an arm around his broad shoulders as he sat down at a kitchen table, digging into pancakes I'd made him for breakfast.

I started humming to myself in an attempt to stop my thoughts from going any further, however I heard a baby cry somewhere in the store and my mind was overtaken with images of him claiming me as his own, my tummy growing bigger and bigger with each passing month, until I saw myself screaming in a hospital bed, Jacob squeezing my hand as I was ordered to push.

Everything seemed so real, so believable, that I purposely didn't buy the very last item my mom had asked for— shampoo. Believe me, my mind would've went on overdrive and I seriously couldn't take any more.

By the time I'd made it back home, it was nearing eleven pm and everyone but mom had gone to bed.

"I see you took your time," she said as I set the groceries onto the kitchen counter.

Yeah, driving aimlessly around La Push to clear my mind.

"Mom, I need to go see Kara," I told her quickly, before I lost the nerve.

She raised her eyebrows. "At this hour?."

"Yeah, she left her math book with me this morning. I forgot to give it back to her," I lied shamelessly.

Why was I even doing this?

"Can't you just give it to her tomorrow?."

"No." I shook my head. "She's got math first period, and I can't be late for English."

"But don't you guys see each other in the morning?," she pushed. Obviously suspicious.

"No, not every morning. Don't worry, I won't be long."

Glancing up at the clock, she sighed. "I know how you girls chat for hours, but it's late, so you have to be back by twelve. Alright?."

"Of course! Goodnight mom."

What my poor mom didn't know was that I had no intention of going to Kara's, why would she even give me her math book in the first place? It was a lame lie, but she fell for it and right now, I didn't feel bad about it.

Driving down towards Jacob's house, my heartbeat picked up its pace and my whole body broke out into a shiver— for the millionth time.

Why I was going there, I didn't know. All I knew was that when my mind had created those images of us together as a couple, I felt this strong feeling of longing for him and the guilt I'd tried to ignore for the last couple of weeks came at me full force.

I was sorry for pushing him away, for treating him like he was some sort of monster, when he couldn't even change what he was. He was my everything, my love, my life and I'd do anything for him.

Yes, I was still terrified of how he could shape-shift, but right at this moment, I was willing to… accept it.

I loved him and I wanted him and I needed him and I yearned for him and I'd make pancakes every morning for him if I had to— as corny as that sounds.

Pulling up outside his house, I jumped out of my car and ran up to the front door. Before I had the chance to knock, it was swung open by his father, Billy Black.

"Nina." He smiled, a knowing look in his eyes. "Come on in out of the cold, we wouldn't want you getting sick."

So I gave him a small smile and entered the house.

"Is Jacob here?," I asked nervously as he shut the door behind me.

He shook his head. "No, he's out… I suppose you know why."

I gulped. "He's safe out there right? He's not going to get hurt or anything? He's-."

Billy held a hand up to silence me. "Jacob is perfectly fine out there, don't you worry about that. Now how about I make you some hot chocolate?."

Biting down hard on my lip, I barely whispered. "I'm so sorry."

After everything I'd said to his son, and how bad his son looked lately because of me, he still welcomed me into their home. It touched my heart, and made me feel even more guilty for my behavior.

"Nina, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. Someone else deserves to hear that."

"I know." I blinked rapidly, trying to fight back tears. "But he's your son, and I hurt him."

He nodded. "True, I see your point. But this is between you and him, it has nothing to do with me whatsoever. So you head on into the living room while I make you something to drink. He won't be long."

"Thank-."

He shushed me. "No need for that Nina. Now go on, I'll be into you in a minute."

Curled up on the sofa, with a sheet thrown over me that smelled exactly like Jacob, I spoke to Billy about mostly everything as I drank the delicious hot chocolate he'd so kindly made for me.

He hadn't kept me company for long though, telling me he was tired and that he was going fishing early in the morning. However, I knew that he wasn't as tired as he pretended to be, and that the only reason he left was because he wanted to give Jacob and I some privacy. Which I greatly appreciated.

Sitting there, alone with my thoughts, I wondered how a girl as young as myself, could devote herself so completely to a man. I wasn't even eighteen and yet there I was at the local store, having daydreams about being his wife and having his babies.

It was crazy, so crazy that I was actually beginning to worry about myself.

But it was very late, and I was finding it hard to think properly. So as the clock struck twelve, and snow started to fall from the sky, I unintentionally dozed off...

Just as Jacob arrived home to answer my questions.

And to reveal his _deepest_, _darkest_ secrets to me.


	16. When The Wolf Takes Over

**A/N: So here is the next chapter, hope you all had a great New Year! Thanks again for the reviews, story alerts, favorites and hits, you guys are just fabulous.**

**I've completed my story 'The Truth I Hide', so I can finally give this story my full attention.**

**And to answer Kiki, one of my anonymous reviewers: Nina will definitely _not_ turn into a werewolf. So don't worry about that ;)**

**Anyway on with the chapter. **

**Chapter 16: When The Wolf Takes Over**

_I was in a clearing, the sun shooting beams down upon me as I turned in circles, wondering how I'd gotten there. Nothing looked familiar to me, all that surrounded me were trees, trees and more trees. I knew for certain that this was not the clearing Jacob had taken me to, all that time ago…_

_All that time ago?_

_Warm hands clasped over my shoulders, spinning me around to face him. My love. He stared down at me with soft eyes, a small smile on his face. "We were looking for you, what brought you here?."_

_Cocking my head to the side, I frowned up at him. "Jacob I'm sorry, but I don't know how-."_

_He cut me off. "I understand, you don't need to explain. Now come, we don't want to keep them waiting."_

_"What do you mean?," I asked confusedly as he took my hand in his and lead me towards a tree line._

_"We're already fifteen minutes late, honey."_

_"Stop," I ordered, just as we entered the woods. Jacob froze, before slowly turning to face me, it was then that I noticed what he was wearing. A tux._

_Cocking his head to the side, he watched me carefully. "What is it?."_

_Suddenly, I felt unbearably cold. Glancing down at my body, I realized I was clad in only my underwear. "Where's my clothes?," I asked. Meeting his eyes once again._

_"What are you talking about?."_

_"My-." I paused, glancing back down at myself. Except this time I was wearing a puffy white dress. "I don't understand."_

_Closing the space between us, he pulled me into his arms, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "We don't have to do this."_

_"Do what?."_

_Breaking our embrace, he held me out at arm's length. "Our-."_

My eyes fluttered open, and I was no longer in the clearing but in familiar surroundings. Jacob's house. Relief washed over me as I realized it was just a dream, however, not knowing what he was about to tell me left me feeling unsatisfied. There was something about that dream. Something strange but meaningful.

Glancing up at the silver clock which hung directly over the TV, I gasped at the time. It was just a little past one am. The fact that I had slept that long in someone else's house was shameful. How rude of me.

If Billy had seen me, what would he have thought? Or Jacob! I had come here to speak with him, not sleep on his sofa.

A minty smell drifted into the room, invading my nostrils and I recognized the smell instantly. It was shampoo.

As if my ears had only started to work again, I could hear the shower running from down the hall. Which meant Jacob was in there washing himself… which meant that he'd seen me sleeping on the sofa. How embarrassing!

So to avoid any further embarrassment, I remained seated until he was done.

"Nina," he croaked, appearing in the doorway ten minutes later wearing a tight fitted black t-shirt and jeans that clung to his thick thighs. His long hair hung loosely over his shoulders, still wet from the shower.

Snapping my head up to stare over at him, my cheeks burned with mortification. "J-Jacob I'm sorry I.. I slept, I shouldn't have.. it was r-r-rude of me," I stuttered, the words coming out in a jumbled mess.

There was no denying that I was still quite terrified of what he was, not because I was afraid he'd hurt me but because it was actually real. That people on earth could actually transform into gigantic wolves. And now that the moment was finally here, the moment I'd tell him that I was willing to accept him for what he was, I was more nervous than I'd ever been.

Leaning against the doorframe, he watched me with careful eyes, as though he was waiting for me to give him bad news. His whole body seemed to tense up with each passing second and I knew that this wouldn't go as smoothly as I'd imagined it to go.

"I'm sorry if I sound rude, but what are you doing here?," he asked, his voice still sounding very strained.

"I… came here to talk to you about something."

Clicking his tongue, he said. "Last time I checked, you didn't want me to talk to you."

His seriousness caught me off guard, I thought he'd be happy to see me, not that I was living under any illusions but he'd wrote me a letter to tell me that I was always welcome at his home. So why the cold attitude?

Shifting nervously on the sofa, I diverted my gaze to the floor. "I've changed my mind."

"About what?."

"About you… us," I replied in a small voice.

He let out a deep breath. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?."

"It's-."

"Look at me," he ordered, causing me to immediately stare up at him. "I don't like it when you look away from me."

"Okay…" I trailed off before continuing. "It's a good thing… well for me it is, I guess."

"How so?."

Growing tired of his interrogating behavior, I sighed. "Look, I'll…I'll leave if you want Jacob."

Pushing himself off the doorframe, he walked into the middle of the room, wide eyes staring down at me as I bit down on my lip. "Nina, I don't want you to leave. I told you in my letter that you are always welcome here. Always."

"Well it certainly doesn't look like it..."

I felt humiliated and ridiculous sitting there as he threw questions at me as though everything he'd told me was a lie. Hadn't he said he cared about me? That he understood why I was so afraid? Well things didn't look that way. At all.

I wasn't angry with him, he had a right to be pissed off with me for treating him the way I had. But I thought he would've at least made me feel welcome, well whoever wrote those letters would've… because Jacob wasn't anything like that person right now.

"Why? Because I'm questioning you?," he asked, resting his hands on his hips. His dark eyes watching me expectantly, waiting for an answer. "I really don't think that means I want you to leave."

"It's your whole attitude Jacob," I told him. "You're nothing like your father."

That seemed to stir a couple of emotions inside of him, each one flashing across his face; disbelief, confusion, realization, hurt, betrayal. Swallowing thickly, he walked across the room and settled into an armchair. Obviously shocked by what I'd said.

It surprised me that he'd react to something so small in this way. All I'd said was he wasn't anything like his father… well right now he wasn't, besides, what else was I supposed to say? I hated hurting him.

I came here to make amends.

"You _know_ me," he said suddenly, my head sapping to the side to stare over at him in the corner of the room. "You know so much about me, hell you.. you saw me completely naked Nina."

Memories of that night rushed to the front of my mind, particularly ones where he stood before me, nude and soaked in the pouring rain. Jacob's bare body couldn't even compare to his body when clothed, it was so perfect. God-like couldn't even describe it.

At that, I blushed. "Forget-."

"No," he interrupted. "I will never ever forget that night, I never wanted you to see me change, well not under those circumstances anyway. But you did, and now things are complicated." Spreading his legs wider, he leaned into the armchair, his eyes closing. "The look on your face tore me apart, and when you told me that you never wanted to see me again, I was too shocked… to hurt to even let the words sink in. I felt so vulnerable, standing there in front of you, a naked monster in your eyes. That's what you thought of me right?."

"I… I did think of you as a monster for a while but-."

"That's all I need to hear," he said, eyes still closed. "You telling me that I'm nothing like my father is unfair, I've always been good to you."

Hearing him talk like that, made me feel guilty in so many ways. "I know Jacob, I'm sorry."

Slowly opening his eyes, he stared right at me. "I haven't replied to your letter yet, if that's why you're here."

My jaw dropped. "No, I came here to talk, I told you that."

"Yeah, you did but you asked me a lot of questions in your last letter, I'm sure you want them answered."

"That's why I'm here."

"So you want me to answer them right here?."

I nodded. "If that's okay with you."

"Well, yes other people know what I am, Bella included. No, I didn't _think_ you'd accept me… I _hoped_. Yeah, phasing hurt in the beginning but not anymore-." He paused, running a hand through his long, damp hair. "-changing… It happened because of consequences. No, I'm not from someplace else, I'm from La Push. I'm eighteen, but I've got the body and features of a twenty-five year old… I'll explain that later." Then he stiffened, an angry look crossing his face. "That man.. he.. just don't ever go near him okay?."

Firstly, I was surprised he'd memorized my questions. Secondly, I was starting to feel a little scared by his attitude towards that man— who _was_ he?

"Why?," I asked carefully.

"Because he's-." clenching his fists, his eyes hardened as though he was seeing red. "-he's a bad guy, don't you ever go near anyone like him."

"But-."

Jumping to his feet, his body started to shake. "Nina, don't question me about him. I know what I'm talking about," he hissed.

"Is he…" my face paled at the possibility. "Is he a cold one?."

Biting down hard on his lip, so hard that it ripped through his skin, he nodded very slowly. "Yes."

"Oh." Was all I said before bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

It suddenly seemed very cold in the room, as I sat curled up on the sofa , while Jacob just stood there, breathing heavily. There was still so much I needed to ask him, so much I needed to say, but he looked so frustrated and tired…

But it was true, my gut feeling had been right. The 'cold ones' existed, so the Legends were real. Everything was. That's why Billy had smiled at me that night at the bonfire, because he knew that his son was a shape-shifter and that eventually I'd know about it.

"… I have feelings in wolf-form," he said suddenly, answering the very last question in my letter. "You're still Nina, and I still care about you, and I'd do anything to protect you."

Touched by what he'd just told me, I gazed over at him as he lowered himself back down onto the armchair. My mouth opened, and the words I so desperately needed to tell him almost fell from my lips. Almost. However, I stopped myself from saying them before it was too late— I love you.

He sat there, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and face in his hands. Today had probably been a hard day for him; between going to school, me ignoring him, protecting his people in.. wolf-form and then having to deal with me when he badly needed his sleep.

Of course I couldn't make assumptions, maybe he didn't protect his people? He might just be a shape-shifter, nothing more to it, but somehow that didn't seem right.

Then I remembered that he'd said other people knew about him, Bella included.

"Jacob, those other people that know you're a shape-shifter-." The word felt weird on my tongue. "-who are they?."

With tired eyes, he slumped back against the sofa and smiled to himself. "My friends, Embry and Quil. My dad, Bella, Emily Young, Sam Uley and the rest of the guys… you know, the guys that are as big as me, you wouldn't know them by name since you're new here."

I gasped. "All those people? And how do they feel about it?."

"They're cool with it," he said, looking me in the eye. "They got used to it."

And I pushed him away, unlike everyone else. The guilt was eating away at me…

Throwing the sheet that lay over me, aside, I got up off the sofa and made my way over to him on shaky legs. I needed to tell him the main reason I came here, it was the only way we'd be able to move forward.

Yes, there were so many unanswered questions that I needed to ask but they could wait for another day. Tonight was about us, and about our friendship that I regretted letting go of. I just hoped he'd forgive me.

"Nina," he said slowly, confusion and wonder written all over his face as I approached him. "Are you OK?."

I shook my head, hands shaking by my sides as I stood in front of him. "There's so much we need to talk about but.. I didn't come here for that tonight."

Pushing himself to the edge of the armchair so that we were only inches apart, his eyes met mine and I could see the fear in them. "W-What-" he swallowed thickly. "-did you come here for?."

It didn't go unnoticed to me that he avoided all types of physical contact with me. There were moments when I'd think he was about to take my hands in his—like now— but he'd stop himself, which was completely against his _affectionate_ nature.

"Jacob I… I'm sorry for the way I behaved that night, I shouldn't have treated you that way, you did nothing to deserve it and the guilt eats away at me everyday-."

"You tried to forget me Nina," he said sourly, cutting me off mid-sentence.

Hesitatingly, I reached out and pushed his long hair out of his face. "But I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Why would you want to forget me?," he asked brokenly, letting his guard down, revealing how upset he was about the whole situation.

"I didn't want to, I just thought it'd help me get over everything," I told him honestly, my fingers combing through his silky hair. "I was so afraid."

A shiver raked through his enormous body as I brushed off a spot behind his ear, leaving him at a loss for words. "But… I… Nee," he whispered as his eyelids grew heavy with pleasure. "I could've h-helped you."

To see such a strong man grow weak with just a simple brushing of behind his ear melted me and sent my heart into a frenzy. I loved everything about him, I'd touch him there one-million times if he wanted me to. Everything about him was just so perfect. I didn't deserve to know such a wonderful person.

Pressing my free hand to his cheek, I looked him deeply in the eyes. "That's what scared me the most, knowing that you could help me when I was too afraid to be alone with you. You have no idea how much I regret that."

"And you have no idea how much I was hurting," he said, a pained look on his face. "My life didn't feel worth living anymore."

"Don't say that," I squeaked, feeling more guilty than I'd ever felt as I stood before him. "You don't mean that, you've got so many people who care about you."

He chuckled darkly to himself, his eyes watery as they bore into mine. "You have no idea how important you are to me Nee. I would never ever lie to you, everything I say is the honest truth."

Normally, I'd find what he just said a little weird. We didn't even know each other that long, yet he said that his life didn't feel worth living without me around, but the funny thing was, I had felt exactly the same way.

My life had felt empty and cold without him, but I hadn't got the guts to tell him that. I hadn't even got the guts to tell him how we'd been having similar dreams. I was afraid of his reaction. Yet he wasn't afraid of mine.

His skin burned beneath my palm, reminding me of what he was— a shape-shifter. A beautiful one with the most wonderful personality and a heart of gold. There was no denying that I was in love with a mythical creature, and nothing could change that.

"Jacob I-." pausing, I raked my mind for the right words. Unfortunately they weren't coming easily.

"If you're here to give me a proper goodbye, then just get it over with," he said suddenly, through clenched teeth.

Panicking, I grabbed his face in my hands and let the words spill from my mouth. "Jacob I came here to tell you that I accept you, I accept what you are. I want you and I to be friends again, or else my life won't feel worth living either. I'm so so so sorry I hurt you, I'm an idiot for letting you go in the first place and I'll do anything for you to take me back, anything you-."

Then the breath was knocked out of me as I was scooped up into strong arms, soft lips kissing me slowly. Sensually. A scorching hand holding my head in place as an intoxicating musky scent invaded my nostrils. Dazing me.

Somehow I ended up on the sofa, except this time I was laying down with Jacob hovering on top of me as I panted beneath him. Attacking my neck with kisses, shivers ran up my spine. His touch making me feel things I'd never felt before.

Moving his soft lips up my jaw, my eyes grew wide as a hand grabbed my hipbone, pressing me into his muscularity. To be this close to him… to feel his body against mine like never before, both excited and terrified me-

My thoughts were cut short as my lips were claimed by his once again, in a hungry, heated kiss. The sweet taste of his breath hitting my tongue, weakening me, as though I was submitting to him somehow.

On their own accord, my hands moved up over his broad shoulders and wound themselves into his now dry, black locks of hair, the minty scent of his shampoo making itself known. Our lips moved together in perfect sync, yet there was something about the way Jacob kissed me. Something animalistic.

Maybe I should've stopped him, but I physically couldn't. I felt as though this wonderful man owned me, and that he could do whatever he wanted to me, when he wanted. It was such a powerful feeling, making the love I felt for him rush through my veins— Possessing me.

I was kissing Jacob Black. Jacob Black was kissing me. I loved him. I needed him. He was the man of my dreams. The man I was meant for. Without him I couldn't breathe. He was my oxygen. I'd do anything-

"Jake!," I gasped as I felt a sharpness rip through the sensitive skin of my neck. My hands latching onto his shoulders, shoving him away from me.

Jacob had just bitten me. Hard.

Moving his flushed face away from my neck, he stared down at me with wide, horrified eyes. "I didn't… I.. that… I'm sorry.. Nee."

The bite felt sore and bruised, and for just a second, I saw the wolf in Jacob. This wasn't normal behavior. Not to mention, if it looked as bad as it felt, it'd be on display for everyone to see. He shouldn't have done that.

"It hurts." I winced as I turned my head to the side, exposing the wound to him.

Jacob remained silent, examining the damage he had caused to my skin while his breathing turned shallow. So many emotions were rolling off of him, and I could tell he was ashamed by what he'd just done. Then, faster than I thought possible, he was no longer hovering above me but running out of the room in a hurry.

The sounds of pots clashing and a glass breaking told me he was in the kitchen.

"Nina?."

Jolting upwards at the sound of the deep voice, my face turned a crimson color as I met his eyes. "Billy."

A moment passed between us as his gaze zeroed in on the burning bite on my neck, a knowing look on his wise face. He didn't look too happy, in fact he looked something close to angry and without saying another word to me, he took off down the hall.

Due to the silence of the house, I could hear mostly everything Billy and Jacob said to each other.

"Jacob that was uncalled for."

Silence… "I got carried away."

"That's not good enough son, you have to control yourself."

"I just… I don't know what overcame me."

"You _know_ what overcame you, that's why I'm asking you to control yourself. She's barely eighteen, and-." He paused. "-now is not the time for this conversation. But I suggest you take her home now, before anything else happens."

"Dad I wouldn't.. you know."

"Jacob you don't know that."

Tap water started running. "… mark… mine…"

I couldn't hear Jacob's whole sentence, but I probably wouldn't have understood what he meant anyway. Billy wasn't making any sense as it was, then again I hardly knew anything about Jacob when it came to his shape-shifting. Perhaps the animal in him _did_ rear its ugly head earlier?

The thought left me feeling uneasy and a little frightened.

Pushing myself up off the sofa and straightening out my shirt, my heart fluttered at the memory of the kisses Jacob and I shared minutes ago. The fantasies and dreams I'd have of him never did him any justice. In real life, he was always much more perfect. And the fact that he accepted my apology by showing me affection, just made me love him even more.

"Nee," he breathed, making his way into the room and over to me. "Does it still hurt honey?."

I nodded as he held my cheek in one hand and pressed a damp cloth to the bite with the other. "That feels nice."

A pained look crossed his face as his gaze met mine. "I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot. I didn't even know what I was doing, it just happened. I'm so sorry."

"Jacob it's okay," I said softly, giving him a reassuring smile. "How bad does it look?."

"It looks…" he trailed off.

"Jacob?."

Pressing his forehead to mine, he took the cloth away from my skin. "I wish I could explain…"

"Explain what?," I asked confusedly.

"Things.. everything.. the bite." Leaning in, he pecked me on the cheek before pulling away completely. "We'll talk about everything soon, but I need to take you home now."

"Wait." I grabbed his hand. "When exactly is soon?."

Giving me that breathtaking smile, his eyes took on a mischievous look. "When you're ready."

"Ready?."

He just chuckled, leaving my question hanging in the air as he exited the room.

* * *

Jacob insisted on taking me home, so of course I let him have his way. The freaky part was how he'd driven _my_ car and after kissing me lightly on the lips, made his way across the road into the darkness of the woods.

Yeah, totally normal.

I still wasn't happy about the fact that he was a shape-shifter, especially when I was alone, it made things scarier. He was part-animal and since I knew nothing about that side of him, I wondered whether he could lose control. Because I certainly wouldn't want to be in his presence when he changed.

Accepting him for what he was, was a big step for me to take in the first place and I was more than grateful that he'd given me a chance. But that didn't mean I _liked_ how he was different to others, it was bazaar and quite frankly, scared the life out of me.

However I was in love with him, and the human side of Jacob was irreplaceable. He was the most wonderful, caring, beautiful person I'd ever met in my life and I wasn't willing to let him go. Not now, not ever.

Entering my bedroom on shaky legs—yes, he did that to me— I sat down at my dressing table and flicked my hair over my shoulder to reveal-

"Oh my god!," I gasped, horrified.

The bite he'd given me didn't look anything like it felt, it looked one-hundred times worse; It was an oval shaped bruise, with smears of red around it and Jacob's bite mark right in the middle. Both his upper and lower teeth had left their imprint on my skin. Leaving a _very_ noticeable impression.

Staring at it, I realized that he'd marked me.

For what reason? I didn't know.

All I knew was that I needed answers.

Now.


	17. In The Dark

**A/N: Here it is! Thanks for the patience and support everyone. Appreciate it.**

**Chapter 17: In The Dark**

Friday morning I did my usual routine; took a shower, brushed my teeth, and rifled through my wardrobe to find something to wear. Normally, I'd settle for a shirt and jeans but that morning I _had_ to wear a turtleneck. There was no way I'd let anyone see the bite Jacob had so _kindly_ given me. My parents would freak out, Joey would think I was a psycho and Kara would want details.

Not to mention, it would give the school _another_ thing to gossip about.

Speaking of school, I had been right about the whole Nick incident. When I arrived, everyone was staring. Hell, even some of the teachers shot me a funny look. Didn't they know that Nick was a complete jerk? That he was bothering me yesterday? Probably not. He likes to make himself out to be the nice guy, when he's actually the complete opposite.

Kara had been absent for some unknown reason, which in a way, was a good thing. She was better off not knowing about me slapping her crush across the face. Then again, La Push is tiny, word spreads around faster than I ever thought possible.

However, Kara wasn't the only person absent, Jacob had been too. During all of my classes, I'd thought up tons of reasons as to why he wasn't present, but in the back of my mind I knew that none of them were right.

So on my way home from school, I decided to pay the Black household a visit.

"Nina!."

I had just reached the front door when I heard his husky voice call my name from behind. Spinning around, I saw him jogging across the road in nothing but a pair of grey shorts. Obviously, he'd been in the woods…

"Jacob." I smiled as he reached me and pulled me into a warm embrace. His strong arms wrapping around my narrow waist, holding me against his half-naked body. A strong woodsy scent clinging to his skin, a tell-tale of where he had been.

Sinking his face onto my shoulder, he spoke softly. "Miss me already?."

"Well that's _one_ of the reasons I'm here," I said as he pulled away, and stood directly in front of me, a playful look in his dark eyes. "There's two other reasons."

Pouting, he tucked his long hair behind his ears. "Am I in trouble?."

Then I remembered the bite he'd given me. "Well, kind of."

"Is there any punishment involved?." He winked.

"Jacob." I blushed.

"I prefer it when you call me Jake actually."

"Well I'd prefer it if-." Reaching up, I pulled the neck of my sweater down. "-you didn't ever bite me again."

To my complete and utter shock, Jacob didn't seem bothered by the mark he'd left behind on my skin. In fact, he looked quite offended that I wasn't pleased. His whole demeanor shifting to a more guarded one.

"Look it's really not that bad, it'll fade after a while. Trust me."

"It's _really_ _not_ _that_ _bad_? Are you kidding me? Jacob I can't go out like this."

Crossing his arms over his broad chest, his eyes narrowed as they stared down at me. "Of course you can, plenty of girls walk around with hickeys. It's no big deal."

"This-." I rubbed my neck. "-is not a hickey, it's a bite. If anyone sees it-."

"-if anyone sees it, so what? I gave it to you, you're…" he trailed off, clenching his jaw.

"I'm what?."

"Nothing."

"Tell me Jake!," I pushed.

"Nina," he sighed, dropping his arms to his sides. "I just don't see what the problem is, I said I was sorry… besides-." Cupping my cheek in his large hand, his eyes softened. "-it's _my_ bite, and you know I care about you. So just accept it honey, it'll fade sooner than you think."

What always amazed me about Jacob was that he almost always managed to make a bad situation look good. The way he used his charm on me never failed to blow me away, and I'd find myself nodding in agreement to him, without really knowing so— if that made any sense.

Leaning into his palm, I raised my eyebrows up at him. "What if I bit you? Would you accept it?."

He chuckled. "I wouldn't get the chance to."

"Sorry?."

Moving his hand down my neck and onto my shoulder, he pulled me against him once again. "Bite me."

Shocked, I pressed my hands to his chest and tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me go. "No, I will not bite you!."

"Nina, just do it, I need to show you something."

"But Jake, I don't want to. I can't hurt you like that, no."

Using his free hand to grip the hair at the back of my head, he pressed my face into his shoulder. "You won't hurt me, I'll show you. Just do it."

Deciding arguing wasn't going to get me anywhere, I gave in and parted my lips to bite down onto his broad shoulder. His skin tasted exactly like I'd imagined— musky and salty. Just as I noticed that, a coppery taste hit my tongue and I immediately stopped biting him.

"Ja-."

"No, don't stop."

"But there's blood-."

"Bite me harder!."

"But-."

He pressed me to his shoulder again, so squeezing my eyes shut, I bit down harder into his velvety skin. I could taste his blood again, but this time I didn't stop, I only sunk my teeth in deeper. My nails digging into his chest as I stood up onto my tip-toes, the extra height giving me a better angle.

"Harder!" he ordered breathlessly.

Giving it my all, I bit into his flesh as hard as I could until he told me to stop. What I saw as I pulled away, horrified me. The bite I'd given him looked ten times worse than the one he'd given me.

"Jacob," I gasped. "Jacob I'm so sorry!."

"Don't be." He smiled. "Just keep your eyes on it, and don't look away."

So I stared and stared at it, wondering what it was that he wanted to show me. Then, within seconds, his skin started to heal. The bruise and teeth marks I'd caused, completely disappearing before my eyes. Until his shoulder was perfect again.

With wide eyes, I fought to speak again. "H-How?."

Jacob burst out laughing once our eyes met, throwing his head back as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down his throat.

I, on the other hand, didn't find anything funny. How could I? everyday something new was revealed to me, things I'd only thought existed in stories. And no matter how hard I tried, I found it very difficult to accept things easily.

Like, what else could he do? Fly? Did I even want to know?

"Your expression was priceless," he finally said as his laughter died down. "I'll never forget that."

"How can you find any of this funny? Your healing is abnormally fast, and you transform into a wolf whenever you want. I'd be worried if I was you."

"Aw Nee." Running his fingers through my hair, he flashed me that beautiful smile of his. "I know it's a lot to take in, but the sooner the better right?."

"I just… I just can't believe any of this is real Jake," I said, glancing back down at his shoulder. There wasn't even a scratch. "It's unbelievable."

He nodded in agreement. "I understand, it was scary for me in the beginning too. That's why I'll tell you everything when you're ready, like I said last night."

The problem was, I didn't know if I'd ever be really ready to find out all about his abilities. It was just so unreal and shocking and strange and creepy at the same time. Yet, I was willing to try and accept these things that came with Jacob— because I loved him.

A familiar voice interrupted my thoughts, and as I peered over Jacob's shoulder, my eyes met with his friend Embry's bright brown ones. From all my encounters with him, I'd decided that he was a nice guy. Always friendly and polite, and also very shy.. the complete opposite to Quil.

"Am I interrupting anything?," he asked with a shy smile.

Jacob's eyes were still on me as he rolled his eyes in obvious annoyance. "No."

Embry shrugged in my direction but I just smiled at him. "Hey."

Stepping forward, Jacob wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me tightly as he turned to face his friend. "Is there a problem, Call?."

"Um.. no, I just thought I'd ask if you were up for a game of football is all," Embry said, looking as awkward as I felt.

What was up with Jacob?

"Actually I-."

"He'd love to!," I almost shouted. "I was just leaving anyway."

Embry smiled at me. "You can join us if you want Nina."

"No," Jacob hissed, tightening his hold on me until my cheek was squashed against his burning chest. "Neither of us are interested, Call. Go ask Seth, I'm sure he'll take you up on your offer."

"But I thought you wanted-," Embry started.

"Leave!," Jacob roared.

Flinching against him, I stared over at his friend in complete and utter shock. Never had I once thought Jacob would act this rude. It was so ignorant and cruel of him. Especially towards a guy he knew all his life.

With a simple nod in our direction, Embry jogged off.

"Jacob!." Shrugging out of his hold, I stumbled backwards until we were facing each other again. "What the heck is your problem?."

Shoved his hands into his pockets, he grumbled, "I hate being interrupted."

"Sure," I replied sarcastically.

"When I'm with you."

"Don't give me that Jacob! How freaking mean were you right now? I'm disgusted."

Then he was right in front of me, bending down so that our faces were inches apart. "You lied to Embry, you had no intentions of leaving. Don't deny it."

"I didn't lie! My parents are probably wondering where I am, and anyway this has nothing to do with your behavior."

"Yes it does! You tell Embry first…" he trailed off, looking away.

My lips parted to speak again, but I couldn't find the right words. "I.. no."

"Sure, sure." Turning around, he walked away from me and sat on the steps of his porch. Staring off into the distance. His expression unreadable.

On instinct, I followed. Standing awkwardly in front of him. "Jake, I wasn't just going to leave without saying goodbye-."

"Oh I know that," he snapped. Hard eyes looking up into mine. "But I hate, I really _really_ _hate_ being the last to know about things. You came here to speak to me, not _him_. Before _he_ decided to show up, I could've been planning something for us to do today. Maybe go grab lunch or something, then _he_ interrupts us and suddenly you're leaving. Oh, and _he's_ the first to know."

Completely taken aback by his harsh tone and accusations, I couldn't find my voice. Nothing he was saying made a point. So what if I'd told Embry that I was leaving? It didn't mean anything. All I was being was polite.

And apparently, Jacob didn't like me being polite to his friend for some reason…

I was tempted to just let the whole Embry incident go. It wasn't worth a fight or an argument, but I couldn't. Jacob had told me so many things about himself; shocking, out-of-this-world things that people would need to see to believe. Yet, he wouldn't tell me why he was behaving so rudely to his friend.

So with a deep breath, I walked away from him and headed towards my car. If he wanted to keep things to himself that was fine by me, I just hated when I was brought me into those 'things' and got kept in the dark. It wasn't fair.

Jacob didn't call after me or even try to stop me. And as I hopped into the driver's seat and started the engine, I watched as he stood back up to his full height and stormed off into his house. Slamming the door shut behind himself in anger.

_Not_ the reaction I thought I'd get.

Something was definitely up.

* * *

"Someone's in a mood."

"Would you shut the hell up Phil and keep your eyes on the road!," Kara hissed from the passenger seat.

After the whole incident with Jacob, I'd gone home and phoned Kara to see if she was okay. Turns out her alarm clock stopped working, and she'd slept until two in the afternoon. Why doesn't that surprise me?

Anyway since it was Friday, her cousin Phil was heading into Port Angeles for some gig he was supposed to attend and Kara had begged him to drop her off at the cinema because she was dying— yes, dying— to see a new chick flick that was released that night.

And guess who had to tag along? Me.

Not that I minded really, but I would've preferred if she'd just asked me for a ride instead of her cousin. Also, my dad wasn't too pleased when I told him Phil was taking me. Why you ask? Because last time, Jacob had taken me home. And you know how that turned out…

It was obvious I was upset about earlier though, I found it very hard to smile and there was a constant pulling in my chest that grew more and more painful the further we got from La Push. It felt like my whole body was drained of all energy and I was just a shell of myself. Kind of similar to the feeling I'd had when Jacob and I hadn't talked for three weeks.

Heartache, was the word that best described it.

"Sorry about that, he doesn't know when to shut up sometimes," Kara said as we queued up for our tickets. "But you are OK right? You're not sick or anything? You _do_ look a little pale."

I shook my head, offering her a half-smile. "Not sick, just fell out with Jacob earlier."

"What happened?," she asked, wide eyed. "You guys talked?."

"Yeah, last night we did but today…. Well I went to see him and things were okay at first but then when his friend Embry turned up, he started acting really rudely."

"Maybe it's 'cause Embry's hot?."

I laughed humorlessly. "So you're saying Jake's gay?."

She gave me a knowing look, a small grin plastered to her face. "No, I'm saying that maybe Jacob was jealous? You never know, Embry might like you."

"Kara!," I shrieked, my cheeks burning. "No, no, no, Embry doesn't like me in that way."

"How would you know that?."

"Um.. duh? That'd be just wrong in so many ways. He's Jake's best friend for goodness sake, it just wouldn't happen. And even if he _did_ like me, he'd ignore it and move on. Believe me, he's not like that."

Moving forward in the queue, Kara clicked her tongue as she glanced down at her watch and back up at me. "So you're basically saying that he might like you but he's just going to pretend he doesn't until that moment comes up and he dives in for a kiss because he can't fight it anymore?."

With a roll of my eyes, I mumbled, "No."

Embry Call did not like _like_ me, it was near to impossible. We barely knew each other, rarely saw each other, and since Jacob and I had kissed a couple of times, he definitely wouldn't let himself fall for me.

But there was definitely something up with Jacob earlier today; the instant his friend showed up, he'd acted very hostile towards him and became very possessive of me. It wasn't like him to behave like that, then again whenever we were together, we were usually alone.

Did that mean he would always act in that way when people were around us?

"Kara? Nina? What are you guys doing here?," a vaguely familiar voice asked behind us.

Looking over my shoulder, my eyes connected with ones that belonged to Phil's friend, Stephen. The guy I'd sat with on First Beach at a bonfire a while ago. Dressed in a white sweater and jeans, hair spiked up and a new diamond earring on his left ear, he looked really handsome. Even more so than the last time I'd seen him.

"Oh my god, Steve!," Kara squealed happily, throwing her arms around his neck to give him a hug. "What are _you_ doing here?."

Chuckling, I turned to face him. "She's a little too excited about the movie tonight."

"I can tell." He smiled as Kara stepped back to stand next to me again. "Aren't you?."

"Nah, it's been a long day." I shrugged.

"Well." He eyed us both. "Mind if I join you guys?."

I liked Stephen, I really did, he was a decent guy, full of life and very open. But halfway through the movie, he sneakily wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and that I didn't like. The feelings it stirred up in me weren't pleasant, and my heart began to pull even harder than it had before.

I was—no matter how strong the word was— revolted.

How I was supposed to get him to back off was the worst part. I hated hurting people's feelings, especially his since he'd been so good to both Kara and I for the whole hour, so instead of saying anything to him, I excused myself to the bathroom.

Once there, I locked myself up in a cubicle and pressed my forehead to the metal door in complete exasperation. Every part of my body, from the tips of my quivering fingers to my freezing toes, felt so drained and lifeless. Not to mention cold. And I was really starting to worry about myself.

If falling out with Jacob and being far away from him made me feel this way, then how was I supposed to live? What if he decided to move far away from La Push? What then? What if things never worked out for us and we both went our separate ways? What then?

Even the thought of never seeing him again sent a pang to my heart. This was not normal.

Just as I made it back into the screening room, the ending credits began and people brushed past me as they all filed out of the room. Kara and Stephen raised their eyebrows as I made it back to them, but I never said anything.

They must've taken the hint, because not a single word was said about my thirty-minute disappearance to the bathroom as we all got back into Phil's car and started on our journey home.

Stephen never wrapped his arm around me again.

* * *

By the time I made it home, it was eleven pm sharp. My parents were nowhere to be seen and Joey had been finishing up in the bathroom when I reached my bedroom door. A wave of sleepiness washed over me as I entered the dark room. Shutting the door behind myself, I turned to lock it. Because I didn't want anyone walking in on me when I felt and looked this bad.

Not bothering to flick the light switch on, I hastily began shrugging out of my cream-colored coat and just as it hit the floor, a warm hand clasped over my mouth from behind. Shocking me so badly, that I completely froze up.

"It's me," the husky voice whispered against my ear. "I didn't want to scare you."

Lowering his hand, I spoke through gritted teeth. "What are you doing here?."

Sliding his arms around my waist, he buried his face into the back of my hair, breathing me in. "I'm sorry for everything that happened between us today, I was a jerk. You didn't deserve to be treated that way and neither did Embry. Forgive me?."

Forgiving him would be so easy, I was bound to do it anyway. But I was still hurting, and my heart didn't feel exactly normal. "I'm not ready for this.. right now," I said shakily.

Jacob made a funny noise in response before moving around me until we were facing each other, my eyes level with his massive chest. Bare as usual. The russet color of his velvety skin barely noticeable in the moonlight. Glancing up to stare into his beautiful face, I noticed that his long hair was pulled back into a knot at the nape of his neck and that his expression resembled mine. Pained and lifeless.

"I understand," he whispered, gulping as his eyes scanned me from head to toe. "But there are things I need to talk to you about. Things I can't keep from you any longer, things that make me hate Embry and any guy that shows interest in you. Things and feelings that I can't control… like the bite I gave you."

"Jake." I sighed in helplessness. "I… not now, not after what happened today, I feel bad enough as it is."

Unwrapping his arms from around my waist, he grasped my face in his large hands. They shook, just like mine, and their grip felt weaker than usual. "Are you mad at me?," he asked carefully, drawing his eyebrows together.

Bringing my hands up to wrap my fingers around his wrists, I guided them back down to his sides before brushing past him towards my bed. "No," I said.

There were feelings, weird and strange feelings that I was having. So I lay down upon my bed, sinking into my pillow and stared up at the ceiling. My body was telling me to feed it's hunger for Jacob, to feel every inch of his skin against mine. To feel complete. Whilst my heart was telling me to give him a chance tonight, to let him tell me what he came here to say. And my head… my head was telling me to get rid of him. That I needed space to clear my confused mind.

It was a battle between them all, and I couldn't make up my mind on which one I wanted to fully listen to. Every one of my thoughts had a good reason. But as much as I wanted to touch every part of his god-like muscularity, my body would most definitely not win this round. So it was between giving him a chance tonight or telling him to leave.

Of course, the former won.

Turning my head to the side, I found him standing next to me, knees pressed against the mattress. The shorts he'd been wearing earlier today had obviously been replaced with tiny brown ones, that were two-sizes too small for him. The button undone.

I felt so sorry for him then, thinking of what he must've gone through when he first exploded into a gigantic wolf. It must've been so scary for him, so painful, and yet he had to go home to his dad, hang out with his friends and go to school, pretending that he was okay.

He never had any decent clothes and he almost always walked around shirtless in the freezing weather of La Push. His grades were slipping, and he was constantly in danger. Poor Jacob.

"Nee?," he asked carefully, crawling onto the bed. "Honey? Are you okay? Why are you crying?."

I hadn't even realized I was crying until he mentioned it. "Jake I…"

The bed creaked under his weight as he crawled onto the soft mattress and moved to hover over me. Pressing his forehead to mine, his eyes grew soft. "What is it honey?."

My painfully weak legs tangled themselves in his and bringing my hands up, I pressed one against his cheek and one on his broad shoulder. "You.. Jake… I feel…"

"Tell me Nee, let it out. I'm listening," he said softly against my lips.

And I couldn't hold it in anymore. The words needed to be spoken.

"I'm in love with you," I told him, in the smallest voice I'd ever heard myself use.

Jacob's eyes widened as they stared into mine, and as he let out a gasp, I felt his body collapse on top of me. No longer was his forehead pressed to mine but to my shoulder, and in the silence of the room, I could hear his sharp intakes of breath. The heat his body emanated, hotter than I'd ever felt.

So I lay there beneath him, giving the man my world revolved around, a moment to himself.

In an attempt to stop worrying about what his reaction meant, I closed my eyes and listened to the rain as it started lashing against my window. Reminding myself of when I was younger, and falling in love was only in fairytales.

Shifting above me, Jacob laced his fingers with mine as my hand lay limp by my side, while another set of his fingers ran down the length of my arm. A tickling sensation—presumably caused by his nose—began from my jaw bone up my cheek until it stopped, and soft lips pressed against my parted ones. In the most tender kiss he'd ever given me.

Something snapped in me at that moment, and before I knew what I was doing, my free arm wrapped around his neck. Bringing him impossibly closer. Deepening the kiss until my mouth grew sore from the pressure.

I wanted to consume him. Completely.

He, in turn, welcomed my new found eagerness and moved his lips against mine desperately. Like his life depended on it. Short gasps and heavy breaths escaping his open mouth every few seconds.

It wasn't just our lips that moved together though, our bodies had begun to rock against each other with an unbearable need. Making me feel things that I'd never felt before. Proving to me that Jacob was more than a _little_ excited.

Mine. Mine. Mine. All mine. A voice chanted in my head.

"Nee." he panted, pulling back slightly to tug down the neck of my sweater. "Oh god, Nee."

My eyes squeezed shut as I let out a squeak of pleasure. "J-Jake."

His mouth had latched onto the bite he'd given me last night, sucking it, suckling it.. licking it.

The sensations it gave off, drove me wild. Causing a shiver to run up my spine, and an internal fire to spread through my veins. My eyes burning behind my eyelids. Jake, Jake, Jake, the only words I was able to form. Coming out in soft whimpers.

Dragging his tongue back up my neck, and over my chin, he plunged it into my waiting mouth eagerly. Our wet muscles sliding over one another. Both of us relishing in the taste of each other. Always hungry for more. Always.

But something stopped Jacob, and he reluctantly ended our passionate make-out session, panting above me. With both hands, he reached over and grasped the headboard to hold his weight off of me as he gazed down into my eyes. His ones, lust filled.

"Nina," he started, face flushed from our previous activities. "Hell I.. I don't know how to start."

"Just say what your mind tells you to," I whispered, reaching up to run the back of my hand over his scorching cheek. "Don't over-think it."

Giving me a sweet smile, his eyes twinkled in the darkness. "I'm in love with you too, more than you'll ever know."

"Oh Jacob." I sighed in relief, happiness and elation. Pushing myself up on my elbows, I almost pressed my lips to his. Almost.

"But," he said in a deeper tone, stopping me. "There are things I need to tell you… this, us, it's all gone too far. And you deserve to know. Now is the time."

Falling back against my pillow, I scrunched my eyebrows up in confusion. "W-What are they?."

My mind wasn't working properly, every single thing that did not involve Jacob had disappeared from my memory. Leaving me completely dumbfounded. I felt dizzy and fuzzy and high. Very high.

A sad look crossed his beautiful face. "I'm afraid to tell you," he whispered.

"Afraid? Jake don't feel that way, please. Just let it out."

"Nee, I'm afraid you won't love me after I tell you…"

Fear crept into my heart. "Seriously Jacob, what is it?."

"You're my imprint."

Imprint?


	18. Into The Wild

**A/N: I am so so so sorry this update is extremely late. I had intended to get this up a few days ago but I've been so busy. I can't even believe how busy I've been this week. But I hope you guys forgive me, I promise the next update won't take as long. I feel awful for making you guys wait.**

**As always, thank you for the reviews. They make my day, I literally freak out when I get an inbox telling me I've got a review. You guys are the best.**

**Anyway, without further ado.**

**Chapter 18: Into The Wild**

The definition of imprint; The involuntary mechanism by which shape-shifters find their soul-mates.

Jacob described the feeling as intense. That the moment he set eyes on me, he felt as though he was being pulled towards me, while a glowing heat filled his entire body. Nothing mattered to him anymore unless it involved me. I was his everything. And he was left with a deep need to fulfill my wants.

Love hadn't played a part for him in the beginning. All he was aware of was the fact that he couldn't stand to be away from me, and that he had to get to know me as soon as possible. But that was all it took for him to fall in love with me; hanging out and getting to know each other made him devote himself to me completely. The love so strong.

However, being a lover to me wasn't what he _had_ to be. It depended on what the 'imprintee' wanted. If I wanted him to be my friend or my protector, that's exactly what he'd be for me. Anything to make me happy. Anything I wanted.

Though, Jacob admitted that if he had to be just a friend, there'd be much sorrow on his side.

"Did I ever tell you about Isabella Swan?," he asked, his back to me as he stared out the window.

Resting my head against the headboard, I replied. "No."

I'd heard about her, but he never spoke of her.

"I knew her since I was a little kid, she used to visit us, but she hung out with my sisters. They were her age," he started, still staring out the window. "She lived in Phoenix with her mom for a long time, but her dad Charlie missed her, so three years ago, she came back to live with him and guess what I did? Fell for her. Hard.

"I rarely saw her, just now and then whenever my dad went up to Charlie to watch a game on his flat screen. She wasn't really interested in hanging out or anything, but that all changed when her boyfriend left her. Sam Uley found her laying out in the middle of the woods, and she became a shell of herself. Charlie was thinking of sending her back to her mom. She'd been in such a bad way for months.

"So one day she came to me, with two beaten up old motorcycles for me to fix up." Jacob turned around, an unreadable expression on his face. "That was the beginning of everything. We became best friends and slowly she began to open up again. I helped her get over him and soon enough, I fell in love with her. She refused to admit she loved me, even though it was obvious… and then that day came. The day she left me for him."

I raised my eyebrows up in shock. "He came back?."

"No." he shook his head. "She went to save him before he exposed his true identity to the people of Italy and got himself killed."

"I'm confused?."

He chuckled darkly to himself. "Of course you are, he was a bloodsucker. Or a 'cold one' as you refer to them as."

My jaw dropped. "You.. you're kidding me?."

"Oh he was a bloodsucker alright, had his hooks in her so deep. She literally couldn't live without him. I don't know how many times she almost got herself killed, just to hear his voice in her head as she got an adrenaline rush. It was crazy."

"Jacob I don't know what to say..."

Walking across the room, he took a seat at my desk and spun on its wheels to face me. "Long story short; No matter how many times she hurt me, I always went back. And no matter how many times he hurt her, she always went back. It was a pretty intense love triangle."

Staring over at him, I wondered how any girl could reject his beauty, inside and out. "Why didn't she give you a chance?."

"Because she didn't love me enough, and so I was always a friend to her. Nothing more," he told me, eyes piercing mine in the darkness. "And now that I've imprinted on you, the love I feel is nothing compared to what I felt for Isabella. Nothing. You're my world Nina, and if you made me be your friend… that'd destroy me. Because if I wanted more than friendship with Isabella, then you can't imagine how much I want from you."

A blush crept into my cheeks at his last words, and I quickly diverted my gaze down to my lap. Not wanting him to notice. "Jake, you know that I wouldn't want you to be anything less than you are to me now," I said quietly. "You know I see you more than just a friend right?."

Rejection was something I always feared. I hated the idea of somebody refusing my affections, not because they didn't have a right to, they did, but the mortification wasn't something I'd be able to handle well. So when it came to Jacob, and my undying love for him, I was afraid of telling him exactly how I felt. The fear of him rejecting me always in the back of my mind.

"I didn't know for sure," he admitted, causing me to gaze back over at him. "I've been through a lot with Isabella over the past three years, and if there's one thing I learned, it has to be acceptance. Like I said, I knew she loved me, but I couldn't accept the fact that she loved him more. I was convinced that she was the one for me, that I could make her happy. That I could give her more. But I was wrong. She didn't want me that way, because she wasn't meant for me."

Jacob raised up from the seat, and started walking towards me. A darkness in his eyes that sent my heart into a frenzy. The bed creaked once again under his weight, and before I knew what he was doing, I was laying on top of him. My cheek pressed against his bare chest as his hand smoothed over my hair, whilst the other ran up and down my back. Filling me with warmth.

"You're meant for me, Nee. That's why we're together now. Imprinting.. it's just leading us in the right direction, but if I weren't a shape-shifter we'd still end up together. I know it."

"How can you be so sure?," I wondered, trailing my fingers over his large bicep, the muscles twitching beneath my touch. "Maybe I'd just be the new girl and we'd never end up speaking, and I'd eventually leave for college and you'd get on with your life. We'd marry other-"

The movements of his hands stalled on my back. "Nonsense. That would never happen, you'd never.. I'd never… we'd never be with anyone else. This is our destiny."

"But maybe-"

"There's no buts Nina," he said firmly. "I love you."

I sighed, moving to rest my chin on his chest so I could look up at him. "Jake, that's not-"

"You love me? you still love me right? This imprinting thing, you haven't changed your mind? You're okay with it?," he asked quickly, panic stricken. "Believe me, this is the way things are supposed to be. You and I, we're made for each other. Nina-."

"Jacob!," I hissed, a small smile on my face. "Lower your voice."

"I'm sorry, I just-."

"I love you, Jake. I'm in love with you. I understand how imprinting works, I do. I was just wondering whether if we didn't have that magical pull towards each other, would we have ever ended up together."

Heaving a sigh of relief, Jacob touched his forehead to mine. "Sure we would, you're in my English class after all."

"But why do you imprint and ordinary people don't? there's got to be a reason," I said thoughtfully.

"There are many possible reasons as to why," he murmured, warm breath hitting my lips due to the close proximity. "So I can't give you a proper answer."

"What are those reasons?."

Pulling away from me slightly, he stared up at the ceiling. "My dad believes that it makes us stronger."

"How so?."

"That's the question." He smirked. "I have no idea."

Sinking my head onto his broad shoulder, I closed my eyes. Tiredness overtaking me. "What's the other reason so?."

"Oh um…" he started awkwardly. "They're not important honey, just people's ideas. Like my dad's. Nonsensical."

For some odd reason, I felt Jacob was holding back on the subject. There was obviously something he found uncomfortable talking about, and I wasn't going to urge him on. Besides, he'd already told me a lot.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I snuggled into him. "Tell me a secret," I whispered, my voice heavy with sleep.

"I'm not the only shape-shifter around."

Much to my shock and surprise, it turned out Embry, Quil and the rest of the guys I'd seen at the bonfire that night were all shape-shifters. Including that one girl named Leah. Yes, a girl. Unbelievable.

I realized that there were so many things I still didn't know about Jacob. And that in itself upset me. The need to know every single detail about him and his life was strong. Very strong. But there would be another time and another place for those revelations. I was way too tired to discuss them at that stage.

"Sleep, Nee," he said softly, rolling us over so that I lay next to him. "I'll stay until sunrise."

The last thing I remembered was falling asleep, curled up against his side.

_"They hate me," he said, leaning against a tree-trunk, buck naked. "They'll never forgive me."_

_"They don't hate you," I replied, walking towards him. "They just dislike you."_

_Rolling his eyes, he looked away from me. "I hate it when you lie."_

_"I hate it when you don't believe me," I shot back, standing directly in front of him._

_"Touché."_

_Growing irritated with his behavior, I began to walk past him but he caught my wrist in his hand. "Let go."_

_"I bought a tux last night," he told me. "It's decent."_

_Turning to look at him, I was no longer in the woods but in a shower. Staring over at the bathroom door as it creaked open and Jacob stepped in, clad in a pair of black boxers. The feeling that overcame me when I saw him wasn't pleasant._

_I wanted him to leave._

_"I don't regret it." He stepped over to the sink, looking at his reflection in the mirror. "It's nature, I don't care what my dad thinks or what you're parents think. You shouldn't either."_

_A surge of anger burst through my veins, and before I knew what I was doing, I threw the shampoo bottle at him. Unfortunately, I missed. "Get the hell out of my bathroom!."_

_He laughed, looking at me over his shoulder. "I thought you liked the idea of imprinting? Have you changed your mind?."_

_"Imprinting has nothing to do with this! Now leave, before I…" I trailed off, my mind coming up with nothing._

_He spun on his heel before stomping over to me. "Are you threatening me? huh?."_

_Gulping, I turned my back on him and closed my eyes, pressing my hands against the tiled wall as the water ran over my body. "Please Jacob."_

_"I can't leave you, Nee," he whispered against my ear, suddenly behind me. His arms wrapping around my shaky body, a hand pressing against my abdomen. "Even if I tried."_

_When I opened my eyes again, I was in the backseat of his rabbit. A sheet wrapped around my underwear clad body. His musky scent lingering in the air, stronger than ever before. Yet, he was nowhere to be seen._

_"I'm afraid," I whispered._

_

* * *

_

The following week passed by rather slowly; Jacob was busy with 'things', mom and dad were ignoring each other, Kara was sick with a cold, and I spent my days studying and avoiding Nick as much as possible during school hours.

I worried about my brother Joey and how he was dealing with all the divorce drama. It was much of a surprise to him as it was to me. But for a kid as young as him, things from his perspective must be awful. Perhaps scary even. And I wished that there was something I could do to make things right again.

Jacob had invested in a mobile— finally. So to make up for not being around, he phoned me at least four times a day. That would be considered odd amongst most people but to me it was incredibly sweet. I lived for those calls.

Something was definitely up with him though; any time I brought up questions as to why he was 'busy', he avoided answering them. Like the imprinting thing, I wasn't going to push him on the subject but I expected him to tell me what was going on, sooner or later.

On a very quiet Saturday afternoon, I was indulging myself on some Ben & Jerry's ice-cream when mom sat down across from me at the kitchen table.

"I'm just going to get straight to the point and say I'm sorry for being a horrible mother to you and Joey lately. I've been going through a hard time with your dad, and I know that's a bad excuse, I'm just so stressed out at the moment. Forgive me?" she gave me a pleading look.

Staring at her with raised eyebrows, I pushed my ice-cream tub to the side. "There's nothing to forgive you for mom, you and dad need to sort things out. I understand."

She smiled appreciatively at me. "You've always been a good girl Nina. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time these last few months, and I'm sorry for.. what I'm going to have to say to you next."

"What is it?," I asked cautiously, searching her eyes. "Tell me."

"It's about us moving," she said. "To Seattle."

"Oh."

I couldn't say I didn't see this coming. I did. I'd been dreading the moment we'd have to discuss it, and at times I told myself that it wouldn't come to this. That my parents would come to some sort of agreement and mom would stay here. For Joey's sake. But life wasn't that easy, was it?

Reaching across the table, she covered my hand in hers. "I won't let you down hon, I promise. I'll let down my guard a bit, give you more freedom with your friends and all. You can get a part-time job wherever you like and I'll help pay your college fees. I know it's hard to believe right now but I just need you to trust in me. Please."

"Mom I _do_ believe in you," I said quietly. "But I've got school here-."

"Yes, you do," she interrupted. "That's why we'll be moving after you graduate. It'll make things easier for you and your brother."

In all honesty, her plan was fair. Very fair. And I would've been smiling if there was no Jacob in my life. However, there was and I couldn't stand the thought of leaving him. Ever. We were in love, he imprinted on me, leaving was out of the question. Mom wouldn't understand though, no one would. I felt so alone.

Sliding my hand out from under hers, I rested it on my knee. "That's great mom.. very considerate."

"Is there something wrong Nina?," she asked, narrowing her eyes at me. "Did you have something different planned for us?."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm fine, really. I just need to get used to the idea."

"I know moving away from your father will be hard, after all these years, but he'll visit. And you can spend your summer with him."

Obviously, she thought I was upset over dad. "Is that what you both agreed to?."

She half-smiled. "Yes, and besides, your summer won't be as dull as it is here. California will do you good."

"California?," I gasped, jaw hitting the ground.

"I meant to mention that to you before, your father is going to stay with your uncle over there temporarily. Until he gets his own place." she explained. "It's very far, I know, but he'll be getting a job transfer."

This was unreal. "A job transfer all the way over there? is he serious? Like… I'm speechless."

Nodding, she ran a hand through her hair. "It is crazy isn't it? I'm sure you understand why we've been arguing a lot lately. It's hard to get through to him."

"But why would he want to move? La Push may be small but it's beautiful, and the people." Jacob. "Are wonderful."

"He's not in his right mind at the moment hon, he's very angry and depressed. Going to California to stay with his brother might comfort him a little, hopefully bring him back to his usual self. It'll take him a while though.. to get used to these changes." She sighed.

"So… after graduation? It feels like we've only just moved here."

"Time flies," she remarked thoughtfully. "But I promise you it'll all turn out good, I won't let you or your brother down. Anyway, I won't keep you here, you're heading into Port Angeles right?."

Raising myself up off the wooden seat, I nodded. "Yep, no point in sitting around on Saturday."

"Window shopping?" she smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Probably."

Truth was, I was heading into Port Angeles to buy Jacob a present. Christmas was only a week away and his birthday followed soon after that by three weeks. The problem was, I had no idea what to get him.

There was also another problem; I didn't know how to tell him I was moving away.

Life was seriously going downhill.

* * *

Christmas came as quickly as it went. My parents tried their hardest to make the day special for us. Buying Joey and I extra gifts, which we both appreciated. However, I couldn't help but worry about Jacob.

I hadn't heard from him or seen him for a week.

Before I knew it, New Years Eve had arrived and yet still, I hadn't had any contact with him. I was so tempted to go up to his place. To find out what was really going on. But I'd promised Kara I'd spend the day at hers, and I wasn't going to let her down.

That night, I lay awake, staring up at the ceiling. Wondering where he was, what he was doing and why he was avoiding me. A million possible reasons popped into my mind, but I knew wholeheartedly that none of them were true.

That he wouldn't just up and leave. After all, he'd imprinted on me, that'd be impossible.

But two more weeks had passed, and I started to believe that he had indeed abandoned me. The unbearable pulling in my heart subconsciously telling me that he was far away. No longer within reach. And I started to feel sick. Very sick.

So on his birthday, January 14th, I forced myself to pay the Black household a visit.

It was pitch dark outside. The trees swaying in the wind as droplets of rain fell from the night sky. Reminding me of how cold it must be for Jacob to roam around the woods in wolf-form. I knew little about what he did as a shape-shifter, but I could certainly tell he spent a lot of time in that form. Wandering La Push.

Embry, Quil and the others must too. Watching over their people. Protecting them from… the _cold_ _ones_. Whether there were vampires—as Jacob once called them— out there, I didn't know. What I did know was that I hated thinking of them. They scared the life out of me.

Pulling up across the road from Jacob's. I stayed put as I took a moment to gather my thoughts. To prepare myself for the rejection I was anticipating. Fear was making its way up my veins, and I knew that it was time to get out. Time to find out what was going on.

On wobbly legs, I sprinted across the road and up the path that lead to the front door.

Before I could knock, it was pulled open by… "Jacob?," I gasped.

There he stood before me, looking years older than the last time I'd seen him; gone were the long locks that cascaded over his broad shoulders, chopped off hastily. Leaving him with a messy cropped look. His already muscular body had double the amount of muscles it once had, and on his right bicep, a tattoo had been engraved.

Not to mention his face had matured. Eyes as wise as someone who had lived many years.

"Come in," he said, his voice deep and steady.

In my shocked state, I unconsciously stepped inside while he closed the door behind me. Everything looked the same, except there was no sign of Billy. I didn't know how to feel about that.

A warm hand slipped into mine and lead me down the hall, towards the bedroom. For a second, I panicked at the thought of going in there with him. Alone. Then I remembered that I'd been in there before. That I had nothing to be afraid of.

But he was different. He wasn't the same.

It didn't matter what I thought though. Because by the time I'd stopped my thoughts from going any further down panic road, I was inside the tiny room. Jacob locking the door behind us…

"You don't have to do that," I whispered carefully. Sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Turning away from the door to face me, he said. "I do."

"Okay," I squeaked. Feeling completely helpless.

Jacob walked towards my weak form, falling to his knees in front of me. Our eyes level with each other for once. The expression on his face unreadable. As though he was trying to hide his emotions.

"Are you afraid?," he asked.

Staring at his tattoo, I decided to be honest. "Yes."

"Why?."

"Because-." My gaze drifted back to his eyes. "You've changed."

And you locked the door.

He nodded. "I have." Reaching for my hand that rested on my shaky knee, he brought it to his lips. "For you."

I shivered at his sudden show of affection. "H-How?."

"In so many ways," he murmured, kissing each finger.

"Jacob you disappeared," I said. Getting to the point.

Lowering my hand to place over his chest, his heart jumped at the contact. "I went away," he corrected.

Sighing, I snatched my hand back and crossed my arms over my chest. "You didn't even tell me Jacob."

"For your own good." His hands ran up and down my thighs. "And for mine."

"Jacob stop." Uncrossing my arms, I pushed his hands away. "Please."

"I've missed you, _Nee_," he whispered. "I need you."

A fire burned in his eyes. The intensity of it taking my breath away. And I realized that he was no longer hiding his emotions. He was showing them to me. Powerful and needy. His parted lips almost looked… hungry.

Letting out a shaky breath, I leaned backwards slightly. "We need to talk Jake."

"Nee," he whined, leaning in to place a kiss over my clothed tummy. "I love you."

"Jake, please. You need to stop."

Then I felt cool air on my stomach, and soft lips beneath my bellybutton. "Your skin-."

With a gasp, I pulled my shirt back down and backed away from him until my back hit the headboard. "You need to cool down Jacob, g-go for a run or something."

Jacob's behavior both scared and worried me. He'd never been this wild and untamed. Wherever he'd been had obviously effected him in some way. As though he'd been deprived of something for a long period of time…

My eyes widened at the sight of him crawling up onto the bed and literally ripping his extremely tight t-shirt off. His muscles had most definitely doubled in size. Smirking over at me, he flexed them, before grabbing my ankles and pulling me downwards to lay beneath him.

Moving to hover over my tiny body, his dark eyes zeroed in on my lips. "I can give you more than any other man could. Protection, loyalty, honesty, devotion-." Grasping my hip in his large hand, he molded our lower-halves together. "-Children."

Oh. My. God. This was _not_ happening.

"Jacob, j-just leave this for some other time. We need to talk."

There was so much that we needed to discuss. First thing, was whereabouts he had been and why he hadn't told me he was leaving. But in his dazed state, I doubted we'd be doing much talking.

"Yes, we _do_ need to talk. I've got so much to tell you." He smiled, gazing into my eyes. "But first-."

"No." I cut him off. "Talking comes first."

"You don't understand." Bringing a hand up to my face, he cupped my cheek. "I really need you, Nee."

"What do you mean?," I asked. Hoping he wouldn't notice the fear in my eyes.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips to my forehead. "I just want to be with you. To love you. I missed you so much. You were all I ever thought about."

"I missed you too," I whispered.

I knew that there would be a time when Jacob and I would take our relationship to the next level. That we'd share more than just our hearts. Our bodies. And that it would probably be one of the best experiences of my life.

But I wasn't ready for that… It was too… soon.

"Do you love me?," he asked quietly, inching his fingers up my shirt.

My hand twitched to stop him but I decided to relax. To just go with the flow. For now. "Yes, I love you. Of course I do."

Leaning backwards slightly, he narrowed his eyes at me. "Is it enough?"

"You're not really making any sense Jake."

"I…" he trailed off awkwardly, his face turning crimson with embarrassment. "Your love for me? is it enough? Or could you love another person more?"

"Jake love is love, and my love for you it's… only for you. I'll never feel this way for anyone. You're my-." Biting my lip, I decided to just say what I wanted. "-my everything. I never want to lose you."

Unexpectedly, Jacob buried his face into the crook of my neck. His breathing shallow against the scar his bite had left behind. Then, as cold as ice, I felt tiny droplets run down over my skin. And I realized he was crying.

His sobs muffled against me.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I ran my hands up and down his back, soothingly. "Why are you crying?," I asked softly.

Tonight, he was nothing but emotional. Every feeling inside of him left raw for me to see. Showing me how fragile a gigantic man like him could be. My heart swelled with the love I had for him, and the need to stop him from crying never overcame me. Instead, I wanted to let him cry. He was better off letting it out. No matter how depressing it was.

Shifting above me, he pressed his cheek to my shoulder. Sniffling like a little boy. "I-I've waited f-f-for… for t-this-"

I hushed him, his inability to speak at that moment evident.

Though I wondered where he'd been, and why it had affected him this way. Not to mention it had changed his appearance; newly cropped hair, a strange tattoo and a body more muscular than it'd ever been. Even his smell had changed slightly, yet I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

He said he'd gone away for me, and that he hadn't told me he was leaving for my own good. The whole situation confused me to no end. But I was willing to wait for an explanation. I wouldn't force him to tell me when he wasn't ready. I loved him too much.

"You'll never lose me," he said suddenly, his voice strained. "I'll never leave you. Ever."

It was my turn to shed a tear, the droplet running down my cheek. "I wish I could say the same."

"Huh?," was his response before he pushed himself up on his hands, placing them on either side of my head, staring into my face confusedly. "W-What?"

"It's… my mom…" my throat constricted, and the words I needed to tell him wouldn't make their way out of my mouth. ".. the divorce."

Leaning downwards, he pressed his burning forehead to mine. Our noses brushing lightly over one another. Breaths intermingling. "Don't tell me you're leaving. Don't."

"After graduation," I blurted. More tears escaping my eyes.

All blood had drained from Jacob's face. Leaving him pale with noticeable dark circles under his eyes. "No. I won't let you. Not after graduation.. not again."

"Jake I-."

"No! You're mine. You belong to me. I won't let you leave. I swear."

My heart picked up its pace, hammering in my chest. Fighting to break free. "I'd give myself to you if it were possible, and you could keep me," I croaked, brokenly. "But life ain't that easy."

Fisting his hands into his sheets, his body began to tremble. The bed creaking beneath us. "Don't you dare give up that easily, Nina! Who said life wasn't that easy huh? No one. _You_ have to make the effort. _You_ have to make this work with me."

"Jake, my parents won't allow me to stay here… our house is going up for sale."

"You'll live here with me. Simple as," he said firmly. Eyes hard.

I smiled up at him sadly. "You know that's wishful thinking."

"It's not." He shook his head. "Especially after my journey! Nothing and no one will stop us from being together. I've felt things Nee, I've made a lot of decisions. All for you. For us."

"What journey? Jake-." My eyes widened, hands gripping onto his broad shoulders. "Ah…"

His mouth attacked my neck, suckling on the scar he'd given me. The sensations it sent throughout my body, mind-numbing. As though we were connected somehow, and he could do things to me that no one else could.

"Mine, mine, mine," he chanted, before his teeth grazed my skin.

In my love-drugged state, I'd gripped onto his shoulders so tightly that he collapsed on top of me. Every inch of our bodies pressed together. "Jake," I murmured. "J-Jake, what… journey?"

Grinding his hips against me, his plump lips moved lower. Pink tongue darting out to lick along my collarbone. "Love now, talk later."

"But… journey… Jake… I love you," I whimpered, nothing making sense to me anymore. All thoughts flying out of my head except for him. Jacob Black.

"Yes, Nee," he panted, warm hands sliding under my shirt. Fingers trailing over my sensitive skin. "Love me."

My hands shook uncontrollably as they massaged his shoulders. His skin on fire beneath my palms. The musky scent of his skin along with something equally strong invading my nostrils. Causing every part of me to tingle with love and lust. My legs wrapping around his thick, jean-clad thighs automatically.

I hadn't realized that he'd undone my shirt until I started shrugging out of it. My mind and body no longer connected. Whatever he had done to me by sucking on my scar had made me do anything he wanted. Anything he pleased.

But this was wrong… this… "You're so hot," I hissed out, squeezing my eyes shut as his naked torso pressed against my almost— save for my bra— naked one.

Dragging his tongue upwards, he reached my ear, pressing his lips to it. The words that left his mouth didn't make any sense to me, all of them spoken in his native language, Quileute. But the very last thing he whispered was very clear to me. "Kwop Kilawtley."

And then, as I opened my mouth to speak, I was silenced by a kiss.

That was all it took for me to lose myself completely.

"Jacob!," a voice boomed into the room. His bedroom door flying open, the handle falling to the floor. Broken.

Growling against my lips, he snapped his head back to look over his shoulder. "Get out. Now!."

"If I leave, you'll regret it," the man replied. Dressed in nothing but a pair of brown shorts.

"Sam, don't make me order you to leave," he warned, before turning to look at me again. "Come here."

Wrapping his arms around me, he held me against him. Shielding my barely clothed body from Sam's eyes. "J-Jacob, I'm scared."

"Shush, don't be," he said in a hushed voice, soothingly. Running his fingers through my hair.

Sam took a step forward into the room. "Nina, Jacob isn't in his right mind at the moment. He's been out in the wilderness for weeks, he needs time. That's why he hasn't been up to see you. Coming here was a big mistake. Now for your own good, go home."

To my own shock, Jacob completely ignored Sam and leaned in, placing kisses all over my face. However, his magic wasn't working on me anymore. Sam had broken the spell by intruding, and I couldn't believe that I'd let things go this far.

"Jacob." I shoved against his chest. "Jacob stop! Let me go."

He made a disapproving noise in his throat, before smashing his lips against mine. Hungrily.

"I'm sorry I have to do this," Sam said. "But he's not going to listen."

Three more guys appeared at the doorway, making their way into the room and grabbing Jacob. Tearing him away from me. Suddenly, the room was filled with shouts, screams, growls and hisses as Jacob fought against their hold.

An angry faced man turned his stare onto me. "Leave. Now!."

Stumbling off the bed, I grabbed my shirt and held it against myself. Mortified. None of them seemed to care though, and before I had the chance to leave, Sam grabbed my wrist, dragging me out of the room.

Billy was by the door, wide eyed.

"Nina?," he said, before glancing up. "Sam? What's going on?."

Sam opened his mouth to speak but Jacob started shouting curse words at his friends. Creating an awkward silence.

"I'm scared," I repeated for the second time. My mind a jumbled mess.

What was up with Jacob? He was out of control.

"Nina, listen to me," Sam said, taking me by the shoulders and staring into my eyes. "You go home, everything will be okay. Jacob's.. he's been on a sort of journey, and he spent a lot of his time in wolf-form. He only made it back here two nights ago, so he needs to relax. To adjust to things again. He'll explain everything to you soon, when he's feeling better. But I suggest you leave now, the Alpha of the pack is hard to keep tamed."

Jacob was.. Alpha?

Trying to make sense of what he was saying, I nodded. "O-Okay."

"Nina," Billy said, reaching out to give my hand a squeeze. "Don't you worry about him. Things will go back to normal in a couple of days."

Giving him a small smile, I mumbled my thanks to both him and Sam before making a beeline for the front door. Still holding my shirt against my barely clothed torso, I sprinted across the road to my car. Keys already in hand.

What I hadn't realized as I entered the car and started the engine, was that Jacob had escaped his friends hold and was already hopping into the passenger seat. A wild look in his beautiful dark eyes.

I gasped. "Jacob, what-"

"Drive," he ordered.

"But-"

Grasping my thigh, his eyes gazed into mine. "_Nee_, trust me."

"I-"

"Please," he begged.

And without a second thought, I pressed down on the accelerator.

Wondering whether I was making a mistake… or not.


	19. Never Let You Go

**A/N: Is this my longest chapter yet? I don't know… it might be. **

**Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/added to favorites/ alerted, this story. You guys are the best, always keeping me inspired.**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 19: Never Let You Go**

My hands clutched onto the steering wheel, palms sweaty, arms heavy. Eyes staring out onto the road. Desperately trying to avoid meeting the gaze that burned holes into the side of my face. His presence in the car making me nervous. Every bone in my body rattling with fear.

Jacob's hand never left my thigh. It stayed there throughout the ride, squeezing lightly to remind me that he was next to me. That I shouldn't be ignoring him. Yet, for some reason, he never said anything to me. Perhaps his hormones were calming down.

When I took a right and slowed down as I neared my house, he cleared his throat. "Keep driving."

"Actually," I started, pulling up behind my dad's car. "I'm tired."

"Nee, you know you can sleep in other places besides your bedroom."

Turning my head to look at him, I tried to cover up the fact that I was still not used to his new look and his wild behavior. "Jacob, go home. You need to sleep, just like I do. We can talk some other time. It's late."

In truth, it wasn't too late, but I was going to listen to Sam for once. He'd told me to go home, that Jacob wasn't in his right mind at the moment after his.. journey. So considering the fact that Jacob had obviously broken free of their hold and followed me, I decided to keep it cool. Make him believe that I trusted him. Only to send him home minutes later.

It wasn't genius but it would do.

And whatever kind of 'journey' he was on, he could tell me about it when he was normal again.

"But I don't want to go home," he said, eyes saddening. "I want to be with you. It's been too long."

"Jake." I sighed, placing my hand over his which clung to my thigh. "I don't.. I'm too tired to talk-"

"We don't have to talk." Bringing his free hand up to my face, he cupped my cheek. "We'll just lay down on your bed, and I'll tell you about everything. You do want to know where I've been right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I do. But not right now, maybe in a couple of days? It's too soon, I've been through enough as it is."

Running his thumb over my lips, he sighed. "Can't I just sleep with you?"

"No, I'm sorry. My parents wouldn't like that and.. you wouldn't want to upset them would you?"

He shook his head, sucking his lower-lip into his mouth. "My dad wouldn't mind if you slept with me, why don't you come-"

"Jacob Ephraim Black," I said exasperatedly. "We can't sleep together at all, okay? I don't want to sleep with you. So just leave, and I'll see you soon."

Dropping his hand from my face as though it burned him, his body started to tremble. "But we've slept together before, and you wanted me then. You liked sleeping with me."

Tears stung my eyes as I stared at him. He looked so hurt and lost, reminding me of a little kid. All he wanted was for me to love him. To want him. But this wasn't the Jacob I knew, this was him sleep-deprived and desperate for affection. And as much as I wanted to be with him, I knew that he needed time to come back to his senses.

Just like Sam had said.

"Please, Jake," I whispered, giving him a half-smile. "Go home and sleep. For me."

Like mine, his eyes grew watery. "Nee, I love you. I don't want to leave you."

"I love you too, and I… don't want.. you to leave. But your friends need you and so does Billy. He'll be worried about you."

"Nina, please let me stay with you. I promise I won't talk, I'll be quiet. I'll do anything you want. Just let me be with you tonight. I really need you," his voice broke at the end. Tears spilling from his eyes. "I've been so lonely."

To see him cry twice in the space of thirty minutes broke my heart. The idea of forcing him to leave seeming so cruel— even if it was the right thing to do. So I killed the engine, and exited the car. Jacob following close behind.

Opening the front door, I listened for any signs of movement. When I was sure no one was awake, I took his hand in mine and pulled him inside. Shutting the door quietly behind, before leading him up the stairs to my room.

The bedroom was in a pretty bad way; clothes strewn about, notebooks on the floor, bed sheets a tangled mess. Being away from him for so long made me quite careless. I hadn't had the energy to do anything but sleep.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing butterfly kisses up and down my neck. "You go sleep," he whispered against my skin. "I'll clean your room."

Never in my entire life had I heard of someone's boyfriend cleaning their messy bedroom. It was unheard of. Yet, here was the local shape-shifter, that towered over every guy in the town and had abs of steel, offering to clean mine. While I slept!

"T-Thank you," I managed to say. Shocked.

"You're always welcome." Pressing one last kiss to my neck, he unwrapped his arms from around me and bent down to gather my notebooks.

But I couldn't fight back my guilt. Cleaning wasn't what he'd come here to do.

Turning around, I took his face into my hands. "Forget about the mess, Jake. Come sleep with me."

"Okay," he answered automatically, raising back up to his full height. Notebooks dropping from his hands to the floor.

As we slipped into bed, the dazed look he'd had earlier appeared on his face once again. The look that meant he wanted to love me until his heart's content. There was no denying that it made him that much more beautiful. Mouthwatering. However, I wasn't going to give in.

Now wasn't the right time for… anything.

Laying down on my side, he snuggled up behind me. Burying his face into my hair. Strong arms wrapped securely around my waist, holding my body against his. The heat he emanated stronger than ever before. Relaxing me.

Closing my eyes, I thought back on the day's events. He'd scared me back at his place, shocking me with his straightforwardness and stubbornness. His passion had been overwhelming, almost resulting in me surrendering to him. Then again, it was his suckling on my scar that made me submit.

Speaking of the scar, why had it affected me that way? It was only a mark the bite had left behind. Not only that but he seemed to have known it'd stir those emotions in me. Powerful emotions that revolved around love and lust. Was he not telling me something?

Jacob had a lot to tell me, starting from him running away for a month. There was no sane excuse for that. It was mental. And it had driven him mental, turning him into a lovesick puppy with wants and needs that I couldn't satisfy.

What if he remained that way? Then what? I didn't even want to think of that.

"Nee?," he whispered suddenly.

"Hmm," I murmured, half-asleep.

"Goodnight."

"Mmmnight."

And with that, I drifted off into my strange world of dreams.

_"I'll be with you everywhere, not matter where you are," he said, eyes piercing mine. "And if you ever need me, I'm just a phone call away. You know I'll run a million miles to see you."_

_Choking on my sobs, I managed to nod. "I k-know that Jake, I-I love y-y-you."_

_"I love you more."_

_We were standing in the middle of my room, his hands on my waist, my hands on his face. His eyes bloodshot from the crying he'd been doing over the past week. Mine exactly the same._

_"Come with me to the airport, I c-can't say goodbye here. There's t-too many memories."_

_Furrowing his eyebrows, he swallowed thickly. "I wish I could, but I can't. We can't risk your parents finding out about us."_

_"I don't care about them anymore." Standing up on my tip-toes, I kissed his chin. "I only care about you."_

_"Nina, if they find out… they'll piece things together."_

_"What do you mean?," I asked, running the tip of my nose over his jaw bone._

_He sighed. "It's complicated."_

_"Jake," I chuckled humorlessly, leaning backwards to stare up into his face. "We tell each other everything. Complicated or not."_

_"But this is different," he said, looking away. "This is very different."_

_Taking a step backwards, I shoved his hands away. "Jacob don't be like this. Not now. Not when I'm leaving."_

_"Promise you won't freak out."_

_"I won't."_

_"And please don't do anything stupid." His eyes pleaded with me. "It's our responsibility, not yours."_

_I forced a smile. "I promise."_

_"Nina we're-"_

My eyes fluttered open as Jacob shifted next to me. The bed creaking under his massive weight. Rolling onto my back, I turned my head to look at him. He was sitting up against the headboard, pain twisting his flushed face. Hands clutching onto his stomach.

Sitting up on my elbow, I reached out to stroke his thigh, affectionately. "Jake what's wrong? Are you sick?"

"Yeah," he panted, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped. "My head hurts, so does my tummy."

"I'll go get you some medicine," I said, pushing myself up and pressing my palm to his forehead. "Jacob! You're burning!"

Squeezing his eyes shut, he managed to force a smile. "I am hotter than your average human."

"True," I agreed, but it still wasn't reassuring enough. "I'll be right back-"

"Don't bother, medicine won't work. I've got a high metabolism."

All the traits that came with being a shape-shifter drove me insane. They just weren't normal. Jacob was barely human. And to think that there was probably tons more things I still hadn't found out about… I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know what they were. It was all too much.

Deciding against asking him for permission on what I was about to do, I began to undo the button on his jeans. There was no point in him laying there with a temperature with that extra layer on. Besides, he didn't seem to mind anyway. His eyes still squeezed shut.

It had taken me some difficulty to get them off his long, muscular legs. His russet skin like velvet against my knuckles as I dragged them down. When I'd finally dropped them onto the floor, I couldn't help but ogle him for a minute. Admiring his natural beauty. A pair of black boxers shielding his nakedness from me. Truly breathtaking.

Gosh, I loved him so much it was unhealthy.

Parting his legs, he opened his eyes to slits. "Come lay with me."

Not giving it a second thought, I crawled into the space between his legs and lay down. My head resting on his tummy. "How are you going to get better?" I asked, pecking one of his abs. "Without medicine?"

"It'll pass.. I think. Never happened before."

"But I'm worried about you. Maybe you should go see Sam?," I suggested, thoughtfully.

He scoffed, displeased with my idea. "I'm not leaving you. Not tonight."

Uh oh…. I'd thought he'd gone back to normal.

"What if you get worse Jake, then what?"

"I won't." Running his fingers through my hair, he caressed the back of my neck. "I could never get worse sleeping with you honey. I love you too much, it'd be impossible."

Although he was being incredibly sweet, he wasn't making any sense. "So let's sleep then. You'll feel better sooner."

Sliding downwards so he could lay back down on the pillow, my head no longer rested on his tummy but his heaving chest. Our legs tangled together. "Your voice makes me feel better, it's beautiful," he murmured.

No matter how different Jacob was acting, he still managed to be the most adorable guy I'd ever known. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd be with someone as wonderful as him. I could still remember the day I had first seen him and how I'd felt. He was so perfect. Out of my league.

Yet here we were, four months later, laying together in my bed. And all I was doing was trying to get him to sleep because he was acting strangely after a strange disappearance. When I could be returning his affections. After all, this was what I'd wished for right?

But still, I couldn't ignore the fact that Jacob wasn't his normal self. As much as I wanted to give into him.

"_You're_ beautiful," I told him, running my fingers up his bulging bicep. Meaning every word I said.

Grabbing a fistful of my hair, he tilted my head backwards, our eyes meeting. "You're the only one who's ever said that."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "No, that's impossible."

"It's true." He smiled. "At school they call me hot, sexy, hunky, and Isabella Swan once called me _sort_ _of_ beautiful. But no one's ever called me _beautiful_. Except for you Nee."

"But you're so perfect, you're so…" I trailed off, at a loss for words. Nothing could describe his magnificence. He was Jacob Ephraim Black. That's all that needed to be said.

Leaning upwards towards me, he searched my eyes. "Can I kiss you? I was very.. excited earlier but I'm.. I'm going to control myself w-with you.. now."

"Yes," I whispered automatically, but a thought sprung to my head. "But Jake."

"Hmm?" he sounded, eyelids drooping with lust.

"Please don't touch my scar, it makes me feel strange."

He chuckled quietly, pressing his forehead to mine. "You're connected to me from there."

"Connected?"

"Yes." Pressing a kiss to my lips, he continued. "My DNA is inside of you. It's strongest there because that's where it started… when I bit you."

My lips parted in shock. "Oh my…"

"I'm _always_ inside of you, always," he whispered huskily before closing the space between us. Kissing me deeply.

Tremors ran throughout my body the instant his full lips claimed mine. Causing my arms and legs to shake with yearn and need. My hands clutching onto his broad shoulders for dear life. His intoxicating aroma filling my lungs as I breathed him in. So divine.

The wetness of his tongue sliding over my bottom lip had me moaning, dying to taste him again. And almost immediately, I granted him access. Our muscles sliding sensually over each other, neither of us fighting for dominance. The moment too precious for those flirtatious games.

Jacob groaned into my mouth, and in one quick movement, rolled us over so that I was no longer on top of him, but beneath him and his massive body. The fact that his muscles had doubled in size gave me more to touch, to feel, as I ran my hands up and down his back. His skin slick with sweat, making it easier for my palms to glide over his muscularity.

Breaking the kiss, he peppered kisses all over my face, his gaze meeting mine briefly. For that second, I noticed how red the white of his eyes were and how pale his tanned face had gone. But before I had the chance to study him longer, he lowered his face to the crook of my neck. Gasping for breath.

"Jake, you're sick. You need to go home," I said shakily, still recovering from our heated make-out session.

"Nee," he whined miserably. "I think I'm gonna be.. ah-"

Suddenly, he jumped off the bed with a loud thud and ran over to my tiny garbage can. Leaning over it as he threw up into it, his left arm wrapped around his midsection. As though it'd somehow stop him from vomiting.

Scrambling out of the bed as quick as I could, I ran to his side. Rubbing his back soothingly. "Let it all out okay? I'm going to get you a glass of water, I'll be right back."

As quietly as I could, I slipped out of the room and tip-toed down the hall. Unfortunately, someone had woken up and to my utter disappointment, it was my dad. He was dressed in his navy pajamas, his hair sticking out in all directions. This was bad. Very bad.

"Nina? What the hell is going on? You're lucky your mother didn't wake up."

Scratching the back of my neck, I shrugged. "I just wasn't feeling too good, so I uh.. I'm going to get myself some water."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You're not finishing any homework at this hour are you?"

"What? No! Dad come on, I just don't feel well."

"You look fine to me," he stated. Crossing his arms.

I sighed. "Dad just go back to bed, I won't disturb you again. I promise."

"Fine, but if I hear anything again, I'm coming in to check on you." He warned. "I'm serious."

"Okay, I understand."

Turning towards his bedroom door, he looked back over at me. "I _will_ come in Nina, I won't knock."

"Goodnight dad."

That had been so typical of my him. Giving me warnings because he hardly believed a thing I said anymore. Not that I had been honest with him, I was lying— something I'd been doing a lot for Jacob's sake. But it seemed to me that my dad _never_ really trusted in me, and it was sad when I thought of it. All I'd ever been was a good daughter to him.

Besides, I didn't lie to his face every day. Just when I needed to see Jacob at a late hour, and that wasn't very often. I just hoped that maybe sometime in the near future our family would go back to normal. That mom and dad would stop fighting, and that Joey could live his life without shedding a tear for every time his parents fought.

And I really wished and hoped that my family would accept Jacob.

The trip downstairs to the kitchen hadn't taken me long, and I was heading back up to my room in no time. I'd brought a tray up with a jug of water, and some leftover sandwiches my mom had made earlier. In case he was hungry.

However, what I saw when I entered my bedroom shocked the living daylights out of me.

"Jake!," I gasped, setting the tray down on the floor and locking the door behind me in a haste.

Jacob lay face down on the floor, his body lifeless. He'd obviously passed out when I'd left the room to fetch him a glass of water.

Dropping to my knees next to his unmoving form, my shaky hands pushed him over onto his back— which took _great_ effort. Pressing my ear to his chest, a flood of relief washed over me as I heard his steady heart beat. But his body temperature had noticeably risen, and that scared me to no end. Not to mention his face was turning an ugly shade of yellow. Dark circles under his deep set eyes.

Crawling across the room, I fumbled around the pockets of his jeans until I found his cell phone. Thankfully, Sam was on speed dial.

"Jacob? You there?"

"No, S-Sam it's me. N-Nina."

"Nina! What's going on? Did he hurt you? Where are you guys? W-"

"Sam, p-please c-c-come over t-to my house," I stuttered, staring over at Jacob worriedly. "He.. Jacob p-passed out."

Then the line went dead.

* * *

Three days it had been since I'd last seen or heard from Jacob. Three days in which I spent my time worrying about him. Three days that I hoped he wouldn't run off like he had a month ago. Three boring days that seemed to go by at a snail's pace.

Billy and Sam had phoned me a couple of times, both saying basically the same thing; Jacob was doing perfectly fine. That he'd passed out because he'd been away for so long and needed time to rest. But they never told me where he'd actually been for those four weeks and/or what the purpose of that 'journey' was.

I was also ordered by them to stay away from Jacob until he was completely back to normal. So being the obedient girl I was, I obeyed. As much as it killed me.

"So any birthday plans? You know, for next month?" Kara asked, watching me expectantly as we headed towards my locker. Reminding me of the day it was Jacob's birthday.

That night had been so dramatic that I never even got to wish him a happy birthday, or give him his present. Maybe it was for the best though? He hadn't been his usual self that day anyway. I'd make it up to him next time I saw him… I still felt guilty though.

"I really don't know." I sighed as I pulled my locker open. "I can't afford a party, I'm broke."

Kara swatted me across the arm playfully. "Nina! You'll be turning eighteen! You have to do _something_. You know I'll help out."

"Thanks, I appreciate it, but-"

Someone cleared their throat behind us, causing us both to spin around. Kara almost collapsed. Almost.

"Hello ladies." Nick grinned, eyes piercing mine. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Oh hello no! Not again. Was he ever going to give up?

"What do you want Fox?," I asked venomously. Gritting my teeth in anger.

He chuckled darkly to himself. "Very sassy Nina, I like it. Shows me you _do_ have feelings for me."

Kara clutched her books to her chest, backing away from us. Shooting me a confused look.

"And what difference does that make to you, huh? Do you get off by making people hate you? 'Cause it sure seems like it."

A look flashed across his face, one that resembled hurt. "Can we just…" his gaze drifted over to Kara. "Could you give us a minute?"

"No! Kara wait!" I called after her as she scurried down the now empty hall. But she chose to ignore me. Listening to Nick instead.

"Forget your friend for a minute, we need to talk."

I wanted to slap him across the face again and tell him to get lost. I was sick of seeing him walking around the school with his head held high. Always dressed in the latest fashions. Looking down his nose at everyone. It was so cocky and self-absorbed.

Yet, all the girls loved him. Falling for his charm and good looks. Always flirting and praising him. Giving him the idea that he could do or say as he pleased. As though he was some great leader and not just a student at the Quileute Tribal School.

And you'd think that having all that confidence, and all those girls would be enough. That'd he'd be satisfied with all the attention he got. But no, it wasn't enough for a guy like him. He had to bother me with his cheekiness. Why you ask? Because… well I hadn't got the answer to that.

"Look, this has been going on for over two months now and I'm really starting to get pissed off." I started, my voice low. "I have no idea what you want from me. You never make things clear. It's like you're beating around the bush or something and I'm sick of it. So tell me _Nick_, why won't you leave me alone?"

To my complete and utter shock, he blushed. "I like you."

My eyes widened, breath catching in my throat. "You.. you what?"

"I like you.. a lot," he said quietly, running a hand through his long hair nervously.

Wait.. what?

This had to be some kind of sick joke. Nick didn't like me, it was impossible. He never showed any signs that he was attracted to me, and whenever we spoke, he acted like a complete jerk; Insulting Jacob whenever he got the chance to, forcing me to talk to him when I didn't want to, making smart remarks. This… no, he didn't like me.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I narrowed my eyes at him. "If this is some kind of joke then leave. I've had enough."

His eyebrows furrowed together. "I'm not joking, I wouldn't joke about that. I'm not that bad."

"You're not that bad? Really?," I asked sarcastically. Tapping my foot with impatience.

"Look, I know I've been an ass to you. I know. I just… remember I told you that I always see you looking at me?"

I nodded. "Yeah?"

"Well." He stepped forward, reaching for my hand. "I started watching you after that and I um.. I started to like you. You're really pretty."

"Nick," I sighed. Taking a step backwards, until I was pressed up against my locker. "I'm seeing someone."

His eyes grew dark with hatred. "Let me guess, Jacob Black?"

My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name. "Yeah."

"What do you see in that dude?"

"Don't start, please. We've already spoken of this before."

He shook his head in disbelief. "But he's bad for you, he's in some sort of cult and I'm almost positive he does drugs. Oh and he's definitely on steroids. That growth spurt he took a while ago was _not_ normal."

Clenching my fists, I tried to control my anger. "Don't say those things about him, they're not true. You don't even know him."

"OK, OK!" he held his hands up, feigning innocence. "But what about me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're always looking at me Nina, I see you. You… you like me right?" he asked. Hope shimmering in his big eyes.

There were only so many ways to tell a guy you weren't ever interested. But unfortunately for me, I hadn't got the time to think up any. Especially as he stepped forward and tucked a stray strand behind my ear, the strong smell of his expensive perfume invading my nostrils. Reminding me that if I didn't speak up soon, he'd make a move on me.

"Nick…" I trailed off, not knowing how to start.

He mistook my awkwardness for something else. Something more intimate. And I realized that there was hardly any space between us. Our bodies extremely close. "Nina," he said softly. Eyes glazing over.

Biting down on my lip, I lowered my voice to a whisper. "It's not me… who likes you, I just watch you because… when your friend likes someone you just look… I'm sorry Nick."

As much as I disliked him, I _was_ sorry. I was sorry for making him think that I liked him and I was sorry for hurting him by telling him the truth. That was the only time he'd ever been nice to me, and for once, I wondered whether maybe he _was_ nice underneath it all.

Freezing, he slowly took a step backwards. "Your friend? But.. Nina I thought-"

"I'm sorry for making you think that-" the bell rang, signaling our first lesson. "Anyway I've got to get to class."

Before Mrs. Cook bites my head off.

He nodded slowly, his eyes sad. A bewildered expression on his face. "But I uh… okay then… I'll s-see you around."

"Yeah," I said, offering him a smile. "Bye."

And I ran as quickly as I could down the corridor, almost tripping over my own two feet in the process. Students shot me odd my looks. As though I had completely lost my mind. Maybe I had? Life was confusing enough as it was.

I'd never expected to have that kind of conversation with Nick. Never ever. But I was glad I cleared things up with him. He needed to know the truth. Even if it hurt. I just hoped he wouldn't approach me again.

You can't always get what you want.

Even I knew that.

* * *

That Friday evening, I lay on my bed, fantasizing about the children Jacob and I could make. I knew it was corny and wishful for me to do, but it brought me a sense of comfort I hadn't expected. They would have his dark eyes, and his silky, raven hair. In fact I wanted them to have his everything. He was far more beautiful than I was.

Then my thoughts led to how many children I would want. Four was what sprung to my mind instantly, causing me to giggle. They would play along First and Second beach, two boys and two girls, all born a year after each other. Their father would keep them safe, being the wolf that he was…

… but what if they inherited the gene that would make them transform? I didn't want that for them. It'd ruin all their dreams of going away to college and university. They'd have to stay in La Push and protect their people. Risking their lives.

"No," I whispered, unconsciously pressing my hands to my tummy. "My babies.. our babies…"

I was officially insane.

My mobile buzzed on the bed next to me, Billy was calling.

"Hello," I answered, sitting upright.

"Nina, it's Billy, how are you?"

I smiled. "I'm good, thanks. Yourself?"

"Never been better," he replied, cheerfully. "So listen up, Jacob's inviting you over for dinner. Can you make it?"

"Is he… he…" I couldn't think of the proper words to use, my excitement taking over my train of thought.

He chuckled. "Yes, he's doing perfectly fine now. So is that a yes?"

"Of course!" I squealed. "What time should I come?"

"Eight… well that's what he told me to tell you."

Jumping up off my bed, I skipped over to my wardrobe. "That's perfect, I'll be there."

"Alright then, I'll let him know. Goodbye for now."

"Bye, Billy," I replied before letting the mobile drop from my hand onto the carpet. I couldn't care less if it broke. I was going to see Jacob!

Rifling through my wardrobe, I pulled out a yellow summer dress I'd never worn before. My aunt Sandra had bought it for me before I'd left Seattle and I'd never had the opportunity to wear it. But now I had.

In the shower, as I lathered my body in lavender scented wash, I'd sung quietly to myself. My head up in the clouds. I hadn't felt this excited in a long time, and I wondered whether it was because I hadn't seen Jacob in three days. However, I knew it wasn't that at all or I would've been acting that way when I'd first seen him after his one-month disappearance.

There was just something in the air that night.

An hour later, I was speeding down the roads of La Push. My curled hair whipping into my face from the cool breeze that blew in from the open window. It felt like I was never going to make it, even though he lived just five minutes away.

Finally, I had reached my destination, and was out of my car in no time.

"Nina," Billy called as I jogged towards him, a big smile on my face. "Head on over to the garage, you'll find him there."

And so as fast as my feet could carry me, I ran towards the garage. My heart hammering against my chest, fighting to break free. The excitement I'd tried my hardest to bottle up completely exploding. Sending wave after wave of pure warmth through my veins. This was what love felt like.

Pushing the large, battered, wooden door open, my eyes widened as I took in the sight before me: the whole room had been cleared out and ridden of the gassy smell it always held; in the middle of the floor lay a red sheet with endless amounts of food atop of it; candles were placed all around, giving the room a beautiful glow. And last but not least, my Jacob stood in a dark corner, watching me from the shadows.

I was speechless… it was so wonderful. So romantic.

"You've kept me waiting," he said from where he stood, a smile in his voice. "Two minutes late, tut tut."

Pulling the door closed behind myself, I walked into the room, slowly. "That's your fault, you should've told me to come here instead of the house." I giggled.

He chuckled, hidden from my sight in the darkness. "I wanted to surprise you. Nothing wrong with that, if I must say so myself."

"Well you've done a marvelous job," I said, moving to sit down on the sheet. "It's really breathtaking."

Emerging from the shadows, he stalked towards me, a grin playing on his full lips. The sight of him never seized to take my breath away, and tonight… well he looked more manly than ever. Dressed in only a pair of black khakis, his upper body was exposed to me. Nothing but bulging muscle after bulging muscle. They seemed more defined somehow, and I wondered whether it was from the dimness of the room. Either way, he was magnificent. So masculine. So strong.

Taking a place next to me on the sheet, our gazes met and we both couldn't help the smiles that broke out onto our faces. Although he had changed; his long dark hair chopped off, eyes wiser than that of a teenager, features more mature looking. He was the Jacob that I fell in love with. The one that made me happy on the most miserable days. The one that owned my heart. And I was so happy to see him again. My love.

Reaching out, he ran the back of his hand down my cheek, love shimmering in his eyes. "I've missed you. Terribly."

"As have I," I replied, my voice barely a whisper as I leaned into his touch.

"I'm so sorry for the way I behaved before, it was unacceptable." Tracing his fingers over my parted lips, he drew his hand back to his side. "But I do have an explanation."

"Jake, it's OK, really. You were confused and.. hormonal. Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault."

Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck. "It doesn't change the fact that I was out of control. I saw myself in Sam's eyes, I was touching you against your will. Your face.. you looked so frightened. I'm ashamed Nee."

Scooting closer to him, I took both his hands in mine. "Jake," I said. "Forget it, nothing happened-"

"Exactly," he said firmly. "Nothing happened, but I could've.. what if I… forced myself-"

"Jacob Black! You wouldn't have forced me or yourself into anything OK? That night, when you came back to mine, you didn't try anything. You just lay there next to me, as quiet as a mouse. Now please, just let it go. It's in the past."

He nodded. "Alright, I will. For you."

Without any further talk on that particular subject, we began to eat. There was so much food, I didn't know where to start. Jacob, on the other hand, knew exactly what he wanted. Mince pie. When I asked whether Emily had cooked most of the food, he surprised me by telling me he had done it all. Impressive for his age.

Knowing that everything was made by Jacob and Jacob alone, made things even more intimate. It showed me that we didn't need anyone's help when it wasn't necessary. That we could do things by ourselves. Like adults.

Besides, Jacob was nothing but a man now. His youth had been stolen away from him, no traces of a teenage boy left for me to see. As sad as that was. However, he was Alpha to his… pack? And everyone needs a strong leader. No matter what age said leader is.

"Tell me about your tattoo," I said after I was done eating, running my index finger over it. Following the strange pattern. "What does it mean?"

Setting his half-eaten brownie down, he gazed down at me. "It means I've accomplished things, that I've succeeded on my journey. I've made decisions, and I've made choices. And that I now belong to you, fully."

My jaw dropped. "This.. tattoo, it's about me?"

"Yes," he said honestly. "There would be no other reason for me to get one, it's not really my thing."

The first time I had seen the dark grey tattoo, I hadn't really paid much attention to its detail. I was so shocked by his new look, that I found his cropped hair to be more interesting. But now as I studied it, I noticed how beautiful it was. The meaning of it making it that much more wonderful.

"Who did it for you?," I asked, glancing up at his face.

"One of the Elders. It's not a design you can pay for Nee. It's tribal."

Staring into his dark orbs, I asked. "Jake, tell me about your journey. I want to know."

Jacob snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me flush against his side. The warmth his body radiated comforting me. "You don't mind long stories do you?"

"As long as they're about you, I don't," I murmured against his broad chest, my cool breath causing his nipple to harden. The sight turning my legs to jell-o.

"Five weeks ago, the day after I told you about imprinting, I was hanging out at Sam's place, bored out of my mind. Whenever you're there, you can't help but watch him and his imprint, Emily. They're so in love, so devoted to each other. All they care about is their well-being, and their children. So I studied them, and although they've got a wonderful relationship, one many people would kill for, I decided that I wanted something even more powerful than theirs. And the first thing that came to my mind was to go on a 'Spiritual Journey'.

"This journey only applies to shape-shifters, because a human boy wouldn't have the ability to complete the tasks. Years ago, our people would send their boys away on a ritual 'Vision Quest' to discover their spirit animal. It would consist of a couple of days out in the wilderness, with little or no food, and that was to summon a vision of one's protective animal. However, I'm different to those boys, I _am_ the animal. So there was only one possible quest for me to do. That was to go on a 'Spiritual Journey' and prove to myself and my tribe, that I'm their greatest warrior.

"Of course, things are a little different nowadays. It's not possible for me to go killing animals, and to fight my pack members. They wouldn't really believe in those things anymore. People have lives, quests aren't their source of entertainment and excitement any longer. So the Elders came up with an idea for me; I was to leave La Push in wolf form and run all the way to Canada. There, I wouldn't dare phase back into my human form, I would remain in my fur, and live like a wild animal for four weeks. No decent food, no communication with anyone, no shelter. Nothing. And I was to think, long and hard, about what I really wanted from life. Without having anyone else's say in it."

Instinctively, my arms wound their way around his bare waist. Holding him securely. "What did you think of?"

"I thought of the pack, my father, my people, but mostly, I thought of you. There were so many things I needed to consider, so many decisions I had to make, that I was reluctant to think of them at first. The thing that scared me most was not being good enough for you. I know that we're united, and that nothing could compare to our relationship, but I realized that I was ignoring other things. Important things. Like how I'm penniless."

"Jacob, you know that I don't care about money-"

"But it's very, very important Nina. That's the point I'm trying to make. We look past these things, and focus on our feelings toward each other only. When we should be thinking about how we're going to build a life together." Pressing a kiss to my head, he continued. "You want that right? You want to be with me, forever?"

My heart fluttered in my chest as I tilted my head backwards to gaze up at him. "Yes, I'll always want that. I love you."

He smiled down at me, lovingly. "I'll always want that too. Always. But we need to start thinking about things honey, life isn't all fun and games. Someday we won't have our parents to look after us, we'll have to look after ourselves. Make our own money, make our own decisions. And we need to start working on things now. Before it's too late."

"I know," I mumbled, miserably. "Money is a problem."

"But that's not the only problem I thought of back in Canada. There are many problems with you and I being together. Your safety and well-being are very important to me, so unbelievably important. And with me being Alpha to the pack, I'm worried that I won't always be there for you. That I might be out in the woods somewhere, protecting everyone and giving my pack members orders. When you might be at home, needing me." He let out a gust of breath. "Then there's your family, and their hatred for me. And there's you."

"Me?" I asked, scrunching my nose up in confusion.

"Yeah, I thought about you going away to college. Sometimes I'd get visions of us, probably a result of my sleep deprivation, but I still saw them. And then I made decisions and choices."

"What were they?"

"Number one; I'd become a craftsman or a mechanic, so that I can earn money for us. Number two; I'd start working on the garage and build it into a home for us instead. Number three; Id stop phasing when we… we." He paused, lowering his voice to a husky whisper. "When we have children."

My eyes were as wide as saucers, and my breath had been caught in my throat. I was completely speechless. Jacob was going to do all that for us, to keep us together. To make me happy. I was overcome with so many emotions that I began to shiver against him. He was so perfect. So wonderful.

_And he wanted children…_

Bringing his free hand to my chin, he tilted my face and I found myself looking into sad eyes. "Jake?"

"Nee." He said, voice shaky. "In Canada, I made another decision. It had to do with you going to college…"

"And?" I urged, dying to hear what it was.

He stared off into the distance, his expression grim. "I'd let you go without putting up a fight. After I phased, the choice of going to college was taken away from me. But I won't take it away from you. You mean too much to me."

Desperate to show him affection for his touching decision, I attacked his neck with kisses. The smell of his cologne drafting up my nostrils. His raw, musky scent hardly evident on his skin. Much to my displeasure.

"Oh, Jacob!" I gasped out, turning my body so that our fronts pressed up against each other. My hands on his shoulders, holding him in place as my kisses moved north. Over his jaw, his cheek… "I don't know what I've done to deserve you."

But he wasn't responding, it was as if I wasn't even there. "I'm not finished," he told me, eyes meeting mine. "That decision was made before you told me you were leaving after…"

"Graduation," I finished.

"Yeah." Shaking his head, he laughed humorlessly to himself. "Now, I… I don't feel ready to let you leave. You'll be gone by summer, and when you start college, I don't even know if I'll ever see you again."

I sucked in a breath, shocked. "Jacob!"

"It's true Nee. I thought that you'd still live here, that your parents would still reside in your home when you left for college, and that you'd come here on weekends to see them. To see me. But now there's nothing holding you here-"

"Stop that!" I shook his shoulders, trying to knock some sense into him. "You're holding me here! We're together, we're in love. How can you say that?"

His lips trembled, eyes worrisome. "I had a nightmare in Canada, you… you met someone else in college. It was so real. I couldn't stop thinking about it for a week. He was the complete opposite to me; blond, blue eyed, curly hair. And he was.. he was good enough for you. He was smart, rich… a pale face. I worried about it.. because anything's possible in this world. Anything."

Shaking my head vigorously, I grabbed his face in my hands. "You think that I'd leave you for someone else? Are you crazy? Jacob I would never ever leave you. No one could ever compare to you. No one. I don't give a damn if you're not rich, or that you don't get A+ grades in your classes, and I certainly don't give a damn that you're not a pale face. Why would you assume…" trailing off, I searched his eyes. "I love you. Everything about you. I'd run away with you Jacob, I'd do anything for you. I'd live on the streets for you. I love you so much. So, so, so much."

"Nina, please don't leave me," he begged, lowering his forehead to mine. "Please don't go, stay here. Please. Your parents are making the wrong decisions for you. Please. I'll protect you, I know that I can. After my journey, I'm confident in my strength, and in what I can give to you. I've changed a little.. I feel more powerful. I look more powerful. Please. I'll be your knight in shining armor, I promise."

"Jacob, graduation is months away," I whispered. Not wanting to think of leaving him. It hurt too much.

"But it gets nearer with each day," he pointed out, squeezing his eyes shut. "Please, I'm begging you. Don't leave me. I can't be without you. It kills me. Please."

Pressing a kiss to his stubbly chin, my hands dropped to his shoulders once again. Massaging them in a soothing manner. "I promise I'll try."

"I'll start on the garage next week, and I won't stop at it. I swear," he whispered, lowering his lips to mine. "Then we'll move in together. Just don't ever give up on me."

"I won't, Jake," I said shakily, overcome with emotions.

"Don't ever leave me, Nee," he breathed out before kissing me. Slowly and sensually.

And I prayed that we'd figure out something.

Before it was too late.


	20. Claimed

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys. But I hope you guys enjoy the chapter.**

**As always, thanks for the reviews. They blow me away. **

**Now, on with the chapter…**

**Chapter 20: Claimed**

"I think the waitress likes you a little too much."

"I could say the same about the guy to your right."

I giggled. "You're making that one up."

"Oh no I'm not," he said, glancing over at said guy. His eyes taking on a hard look. "He should mind his own business."

"The waitress should too."

He shrugged, meeting my gaze. "That's different."

"How so?," I challenged.

"She has to look at me, she's the waitress. But him over there-" he shook his head in disgust. "- should focus more on his own girlfriend. Douche."

At that I laughed. "Jacob just ignore him."

"You're right, it's my baby's birthday after all." He smiled. "Eighteen and all grown up."

Jacob had insisted on taking me out on my birthday, even though he could barely afford it. No matter how many times I rejected his offer, he wouldn't listen. Telling me that I was his world and that it was unacceptable for him _not_ to take me out. Not only that, but he took me to one of the most expensive restaurants in Port Angeles. Insisting that he'd pay for absolutely everything.

To say I was touched by the gesture would be an understatement. I was blown away. Especially since he'd gotten a part-time job at a mechanics in Forks and saved every penny he earned towards building us a house. He really was something special.

Kara had been upset that I was spending the day with Jacob, but I promised her we'd go out soon. It was the least I could do for my good friend. However, my parents were highly suspicious of my plans. Asking me more than once about where I was going and who I was going with. I'd told them I was going out with a few friends from school, and although they didn't believe me, they never pushed the subject. Though, from the look in my mother's eyes, I could tell she knew who I was going out with. But she never said anything.

I didn't know how to feel about that.

As Jacob and I waited on our food, I came up with an idea to pass the time. "Do you want to play twenty questions?"

"As long as we get to ask each other _anything_." He smirked, reaching for my hand across the table. "Since we're so close now."

"Sure, you go first."

And so the questions poured from our mouths, one after the other. The very first one's had been simple and easy to answer. But as the time ticked by, they grew more personal. Causing us both to blush at times.

"Are you…" I trailed off, embarrassed to ask.

He brought my hand up to his lips, kissing the palm. "Am I what?"

"Are you… are you a virgin?"

"Yes," he answered, honestly. Giving me a small smile.

My jaw dropped. "You're a virgin? But… that's… all the girls love you…"

"So? Sex isn't important to me Nina. I've been through a lot to know that."

I couldn't even begin to describe the relief I felt at his revelation. To know that he was a virgin like myself made me feel equal to him in that department. And the fact that he wasn't looking for sex made me feel even more equal to him. Because that's exactly how I felt about the subject. It wasn't the most important thing in the world, and I believed in saving yourself for the right guy.

Jacob was _my_ right guy. But was I ready to give all of myself to him?

"That's amazing," I said, dreamily. "You're just amazing Jacob. You're so sensible, so mature. I love you."

Chuckling, he pressed another a long kiss to my palm before setting my hand back down. "That doesn't mean I haven't got a sex drive." He winked.

I blushed, remembering all the times we'd spent kissing in my bed. All the times he'd pressed himself against me. All the times I felt… "I know that, Jake."

"Only you effect me that way, Nee," he whispered across the table. His hot breath causing the candle light to flicker. "I hope it's the same for you?"

Whenever we had a conversation, it was mostly innocent, with a little flirting thrown here and there. So that night, as we moved onto more intimate subjects, I couldn't help but feel awkward and embarrassed. Despite my comfort around him.

Searching my face for an answer, his dark orbs had never made me feel as naked as they had then. The natural glow they suddenly took on reminding me of a predator wolf, seeking its prey. White teeth gleaming in the dim light as he smiled. It was all so mischievous, and so unlike Jacob's normally friendly personality. Then again, we weren't exactly having a 'friendly' conversation.

"Of course," I said quickly, my gaze drifting downwards to the exposed skin of his chest. Hairless and smooth. Jacob had really grown into a man, even more so than I originally thought. That night when I'd driven up to his house, my eyes had nearly fallen out of their sockets at the sight of him. There was nothing left of the boy he once was. Nothing.

Dressed In a pair of grey khakis that clung to his thick thighs like a second skin and a white shirt that was a size too small for him. I couldn't help but notice how huge he had gotten. How much stronger, bigger and taller he had gotten since the time I had seen him in all his naked glory. Jacob Black was massive.

"I can't wait for us to move in together, things will be so much easier."

I smiled at the thought. "It'd be kind of like how Sam and Emily moved in together when you first phased."

"Exactly. It'll be great, everything will just fall into place and we can focus more on our relationship. We won't have to worry about your parents finding out about us anymore."

"Jake." I sighed, drawing my gaze back up to his face. "You know it won't be that easy."

Looking away from me, he clenched his jaw. "Nina, don't start."

"What do you mean by that?," I asked, my voice raising two octaves louder in annoyance.

"You _know_ what I mean," he said through gritted teeth, turning to face me again. Anger and irritation burning his dark brown eyes.

Over the past month, Jacob and I had been having a lot of arguments. Mostly about how I was going to leave my parents. In his opinion, it wouldn't be difficult, especially since I'd be an adult when the time came. But I saw things differently. Completely differently. As much as I disliked how my parents thought of Jacob, and how they always seemed to think I had something up my sleeve, I still loved them. They were always there for me and raised me to be the good person that I was. Leaving them would be hard.

However, I knew that I'd see them every now and then. But the thought of all the arguments I'd have to go through, and all the tears I'd cry, made me dread that moment. It wouldn't be easy on my parents, Joey and myself. It'd be very, very hard.

Jacob hardly ever offered me sympathy on the subject.

"This is so unfair of you. After everything we've been through, I thought that you'd at least offer me sympathy. I live with those people, they're my family. Imagine you had to leave Billy, I bet you'd hate that. But I'd comfort you, you know I would."

Pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, he took a deep breath to calm himself. "I do sympathize with you, all the time. But there are certain times when it's best not to, in order to remain strong. To give you willpower. I'm alpha of a pack, I know what I'm talking about."

"Oh so that's it? I'm equal to the guys huh?," I asked incredulously. "That changes things. A lot."

His mouth opened to speak, but the waitress arrived with our food. Interrupting our conversation. As per usual, she shot Jacob a flirty smile before sauntering away. Her red ponytail swinging back and forth. Confidence oozing from her.

Staring down at my food, I suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore. As delicious as it looked.

"You're not equal to them, you could never be," he said softly. "I'm so sorry I made you feel that way honey, I'm so, so sorry. This alpha stuff is getting to my head. I shouldn't be treating you that way. I love you. I love you more than anyone. I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"It's OK," I whispered as I began eating. My hunger slowly creeping back into my stomach at his apology.

In truth, it wasn't really OK, but I wasn't about to have a discussion about it in a restaurant for everyone to hear. I'd just eat my lasagna and forget it for now. After all, who wants to be miserable on their birthday?

The rest of the night passed by like a blur. Jacob and I small talked, the atmosphere awkward after our mini argument. I could tell he was upset with himself by the way he looked at me and the effort he put into our conversations. A part of me wanted to tell him to let it go, but I really wasn't up for anything. My bubble of excitement had deflated.

As we left the restaurant, Jacob slipped his hand into mine, running his thumb over my skin affectionately. Normally, it'd feel lovely and cause my heart to jump in my chest. But all I felt then was… nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"Nina," he whimpered out, twirling me around to face him. "Please, I'm sorry. I was a selfish moron in there. Just don't let this ruin your birthday, please. I'm so sorry, I'll make it up to you. I'll take you wherever you want. As long as it makes you happy. Please."

"Jake, just forget it OK? I'm just.. I don't feel like myself right now. Ignore me."

Grasping my face in his hands, he brought his plump lips down on mine. Kissing me with such force I stumbled backwards. "Please," he moaned before plunging his tongue into my mouth. His wet muscle working wonders over mine. It almost felt soothing. Almost.

My hands pushed against his broad chest. "Jake! Stop."

But he wouldn't listen, and before I knew it, he dropped to his knees on the pavement. Pulling me down with him. His hands snaking into my hair, holding me in place as his kisses grew more passionate. Saliva drizzling down the sides of his lips.

Cars drove by and every second one would have a person whistling out the window at us. Some even went as far to say 'Get some' and 'Get a room'. My cheeks burned with mortification, but Jacob ignored them. Focusing his attention on me and me only.

"Jake," I gasped out as his wet lips moved to my jaw. "Jacob stop, we're outside. Please."

And just like that, he froze. "We're… oh my…"

Pulling away from him, I jumped up to my feet. My body shaking. "We need to leave. Now."

"Baby," he said breathlessly, standing up in front of me. "I didn't realize, I forgot."

"Just take me home, Jacob. My head hurts."

"Come home with me, tell your parents you're sleeping at Kara's."

I shook my head. "No, I can't."

"Please," he begged. "We'll watch a movie, I'll make you a cake and we can stay up all night. I've made a mess of everything already."

Point was, I had forgiven Jacob. But I couldn't stop thinking about the months to come and the decisions I'd have to make. How was I going to tell my parents I was leaving to live with Jacob? What if Jacob never builds us the house? What if I had no other choice but to leave him and move to Seattle?

Everything was a mess.

"Jacob, I want to go home. I need some space," I told him, pressing my palm to my forehead.

"Well… can I see you tomorrow?," he asked hopefully.

"Of course, Jake," I said, reaching for his hand. "I love you."

* * *

The ride home was mostly silent, except for the soft hum of the engine and the tapping of Jacob's fingers against the steering wheel. Dark clouds enveloped the sky, blocking the half-moons glow. There was certainly a storm on its way. Nothing new to the Washington state.

Every now and then, I'd sneak a glance at Jacob as he kept his eyes focused on the road. His profile was beautiful; all strong jaw-bone and perfect high cheekbones. Unlike mine and plenty of other people I knew. Our profiles did nothing in our favor. But this was Jacob Black, shape-shifter and alpha to a pack. He was simply magnificent.

I was sorry for how the night had turned out when it could've been so much better. It was my fault. I shouldn't have brought up how difficult it would be to tell my parents I was leaving, knowing how he felt about the topic. I'd make it up to him somehow.

When Jacob pulled up across the road from my house, I didn't move. There was no way I was going to end the night that way. Feeling depressed and regretful. I needed to let him know how nice it was of him to take me out on my birthday and spoil me with a gorgeous charm bracelet and chocolates. He needed to know how much that meant to me. How much _he_ meant to me. Everything he'd done for me was wonderful. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

"Thank you, for everything," I said softly, gazing up into his handsome face. "You took me out to an expensive restaurant, bought me expensive jewelry and made me feel special. And I'm so sorry I ruined things by bringing up my parents, that was stupid and careless of me. I'll make it up to you, I swear. I just need you to know that I really appreciate everything you've done and that I love you."

Killing the engine, Jacob shifted in his seat to face me. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Nina. You're my world. So don't thank me, I already know that you're grateful. And our argument… well let's just pretend it never happened, alright?" He smiled. "Now, I think you should head on out. Before your parents notice there's a strange car parked by their house."

I chuckled, reaching for the handle. "Can I have a birthday kiss before I go?"

Jacob didn't need to be asked twice. In an instant, his lips descended upon mine. Knocking the breath out of me. Our tongues desperately searching for the other, dancing together feverishly. The taste of his mouth sweet and spicy. Turning my brain to mush.

I didn't want to leave the car, but I did want to go back to his place and kiss him until sunrise. Thoughts of what it would feel like to have his naked chest pressed against mine and how mouthwatering he'd look all sweaty and flushed, plagued my mind. I knew that meant I should stop or things may get out of hand.

But the thing was, I never wanted to stop. I needed him like the air I breathed.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I allowed him to pull me up and onto his lap. Straddling him as he leaned back against the seat. Making things much more comfortable for us. To an outsider, our position wouldn't look appropriate. However, Jacob and I were too into things to give a care.

"I'd do anything to keep you for tonight," he murmured against my moist lips before trailing open-mouthed kisses along my jaw.

I closed my eyes, relishing in the feel of him. "You already own me, Jake."

"Partly." His kisses moved south, nearing my scar. "Maybe someday."

"Maybe," I agreed. Holding onto him tighter because I never wanted to let him go. Ever.

Pushing my baby blue cardigan off, Jacob hooked his gleaming teeth into the thin strap of my lilac dress, dragging it down over my shoulder. Proving that although he was a virgin, he was blessed in the 'sexual' department. Never failing to be sexy.

"I'm not.. stripping you… I just-" instead of finishing his sentence, he licked my forearm. Once, twice, three times. "You taste just like I imagined."

"Gosh, Jake," I practically gasped out in pleasure. He was just so unbelievably sexy. It was unreal.

"Nina," he whispered, bringing his lips to my ear. "It's so hard for me-"

"Jacob!" I screeched, jumping off his lap and into the passenger seat. Frantically looking for my handbag. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…"

Then I heard him, shouting as he ran across the road. My dad.

We were so Busted.

Pulling the driver's door open, my dad spoke in a firm, angry voice. "Get out. Now."

"Okay, okay," I said quickly, terrified.

"And you," he directed at Jacob. "I need to talk to you, mister."

Scrambling out of the Rabbit, I scurried around the front and over to my dad. He was standing in the middle of the deserted road, arms crossed over his chest, expression unreadable. One look in his eyes and I knew that he'd known all along. He just needed a confirmation and tonight things were in his favor. Much to my own shame.

It wasn't that I was ashamed of being with Jacob, of course I wasn't. But to think that my father had seen us in that position was mortifying. It made us look bad. And there was no way that I could make up an excuse for our behavior.

He'd seen us in one of our most vulnerable states...

Across the road, my mom appeared at the doorway. "Nina! Honey! Come over here," she called.

For the past month, my mom had been acting strangely. As though she knew that I was still seeing Jacob against her will. The funny thing was, she seemed to be taking it well. Shooting me smiles and knowing looks every now and then. It was so strange. Didn't she hate him?

"Do as your mother says, Nina," my dad warned. His glare fixed on Jacob, who had just gotten out of the car to stand behind me.

But I couldn't move. My feet were literally stuck to the ground. I knew it was because of Jacob and the fantastic work of the imprint. To me, dad was a danger to us, and I wasn't going to part with my soul-mate. We needed each other for protection. As crazy as that sounded.

"Nina," my mom called again. "Come here, please."

Warm fingers brushed my hand. "Go, I'll be fine. Trust me."

"But-" I protested.

He cut me off. "Please."

So just like I was made to do, I obeyed him and hurried across the road. Glancing over my shoulder as I reached my mom, Jacob and my dad were still standing just where I'd left them. Waiting for me to enter the house.

Once I stepped into the hall, mom shut the door behind me. "Nina!"

"What?," I asked, shaking all over with nerves.

She spun around to face me, wide eyed. "What? honey, are you and Jacob really that stupid? Did you think that your father and I wouldn't notice an unfamiliar car parked outside our house? This is not what I expected. At all."

"Mom, I was leaving but… but I just got carried away," I mumbled the last part. My face burning with embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

"Nina, I know that I gave you a hard time over your boyfriend. I was going through a tough time with your father and I wanted to please him so that we could work things out. But now that we're separated, I… I don't mind you being with Jacob. If he loves you and you love him in return then there's nothing wrong with that." she sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder. "But for your own sake, keep things low profile from now on and I'd advise you to go up to your room before your father comes back. I don't want him to ground you when he's not thinking clearly. Go on."

Shocked by everything she'd just sprung on me, I fought to form a coherent sentence. "But.. J-Jacob, dad's going to hurt him.. I can't.. mom-"

"No, your father will speak to him. That's all. I'll make sure of it. Now you head on up. You'll see Jacob tomorrow won't you?"

I nodded in response, but as I turned around and headed up the stairs, tomorrow felt too far away. There was nowhere else I wanted to be but in his arms right then. Warm and safe. To feel his hot breath against my face as he spoke. To smell his unique scent. To just _be_ with him.

He didn't deserve to hear anything my dad was going to tell him. I just hoped it wouldn't be as bad as I imagined it to be.

* * *

Wrapping my arms around myself in the freezing cold, I ran all the way to the Black household in the pitch dark. Around midnight, when I was sure everyone was in bed, I snuck out. Yes, it was probably the most crazy thing I'd ever done, but I definitely wasn't going to regret it.

I needed to know what my dad said to Jacob, after all, my parents spoke in hushed voices at night. Besides that, I just needed to be with him. I needed to hold him in my arms and tell him that no matter what anyone says, it'll never change the way I feel about him. It'll never tear us apart.

Fifteen minutes it had taken me to reach the house, and as I approached it, I couldn't help but feel worried when I saw that _all_ the lights were out. Then, I realized how silly I was being. It was twelve-thirty pm, what did I expect? Jacob was probably in bed, and Billy.. well Billy could be anywhere. He definitely wasn't awake if he was at home though.

Hesitantly, I tapped my frozen knuckles against the front door. One time, two times, three times, four times. Obviously, no one was going to answer. So my only other option was to go around the back and peer into Jacob's room. Perhaps he'd hear me if I knocked on his window?

Unfortunately, Jacob wasn't there when I'd looked in.

"Nina," a voice whispered, startling me.

Spinning on my heel, I leaned back against the wooden wall. Heart pounding as my eyes scanned the forest. There was no one in sight. But I could've sworn that was his voice. I wasn't imagining it.

With chattering teeth, I managed to barely speak. "J-Jacob?"

"Nina," he whispered again, the wind carrying his husky voice to me.

"Where a-are you?" I whispered back.

"Over here," he said a little louder, yet I still couldn't see him.

"I can't see you."

Silence. "Do you want to?"

Frowning, I wondered why he asked me that. "Of course."

Then suddenly, he appeared in front of me. Taking slow steps up to the back porch where I stood, still leaning against the wall. The reason why he had been hiding from me earlier becoming clear as soon as I saw him; he was completely naked.

As naked as the time I had first seen him phase and he never looked so beautiful. In the darkness, I could still make out the russet tone to his skin and how it glowed as he stalked closer to me. His whole body was adorned with firm muscles and if I looked closer, I could see that he had a fair amount of brown freckles scattered across his smooth skin too. Something I'd never noticed before.

"You're going to have to get used to my being naked all the time. It's one of the cons to being a shape-shifter." He smirked, finally standing directly in front of me. Smelling of musk, pine and earth.

"I could.. get used to it," I told him, reaching up to touch his bare chest. Not a hair in sight.

He wiggled his eyebrows at me, suggestively. "That doesn't surprise me, Nee."

The blush I'd expected to creep into my cheeks never came. Instead, a wave of fear overcame me and I blurted the first thing that came to mind. "Jacob, what did my dad say to you?"

"A lot of things, actually," he said, laughing humorlessly to himself. "A lot of things that made me feel completely and utterly worthless."

"Jake," I whispered quietly, moving my hand upwards to caress his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"And to think he's your father, that you're related to him." He shook his head in disbelief. "I don't.. what am I…you…"

Hushing him quiet, I grasped his hand in my free one. Giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't let him get to you, he was just being a complete jerk. And I'm sorry for that, I wish I had a more understandable father. Just forget whatever he said to you."

Slipping his hand out of mine, he took a step backwards. "I have feelings, Nina. You're not the only person who can hurt me, lots of people can. So don't come here and tell me to forget about things. You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know that, Jake. But my dad didn't mean anything he said, he was just being mean to you because you're dating his daughter. That's all. What did he say anyway? You're too old to date me?"

"Really?," he asked incredulously. "That's all you think he said to me? Really?"

The look on his face told me he was disappointed in my assumptions, which in turn, made me feel worse about the situation. Whatever my dad had said to him must've been bad. Very bad. And yet there I was, taking things lightly. I was such a moronic idiot sometimes.

After a moments silence, I asked. "What did he say to you?"

"Nothing.. it doesn't matter. Forget it," he said dismissively, a troubled look in his normally happy eyes.

Stepping forward so that there was hardly any space between us, I pressed my palm to his cheek. "It does matter. Tell me. Please."

Leaning into my touch, Jacob's gaze fell to the floor. "He told me I was a poor scumbag."

My breath caught in my throat, yet I forced myself to speak. "J-Jacob, I'm so-"

"That I've probably got every disease under the sun." His eyes snapped to mine. "That I'm using you. That I'll be stuck in La Push forever and ever because I'm penniless. That I don't deserve you and that I better stay away from you… that you're going away for good and I'll never see you again. That you'll meet someone way better than me and I'll be just a memory to you. Because all I am and all I'll ever be is worthless."

In the freezing night air, my blood ran cold and I was left feeling numb. The words he'd spoken had all sounded so horribly wrong. Every single one of them. How could my father be so cruel? Jacob had never done anything bad on him or anyone. To think that he had it in him to say all those things… it was awful. So awful that I fell to my knees and burst into tears. My heart hurting for Jacob.

"Nina, honey, don't cry. It's not your fault," he said softly, yet his body remained still. Hesitant to move.

I shook my head before pressing my forehead to his bare thigh, sobbing against his flawless skin. Nothing mattered to me at that moment but Jacob. My love for him so strong it hurt. And I couldn't imagine my life without him. He was my world, my everything. Without him I was nothing.

And if my parents wanted to take me away from him, I wouldn't let them.

This was my life, not theirs.

There were no words that could make up for what my father had said to him and even if there were, I doubted I'd be able to speak them with the sobs that raked my body. The tears I cried were for everything; from the hurt that had been inflicted on Jacob to the thought of leaving for Seattle with my mother. Like I'd said, I wasn't going. It was both physically and mentally impossible for me to do so.

Jacob let out a shaky breath, before bending down and taking me into his arms. Surrounding me with the warmth that was his and his only. For a minute, we just stayed that way, me crying into his chest as he ran his hands through my hair. Neither of us speaking a word. Then, I felt myself being lifted off the ground. Jacob holding me securely as he opened the back the door and walked into the house.

Taking me to his tiny bedroom, where we lay on his bed for a whole hour in complete silence.

"When you leave, don't say goodbye to me. I don't want to hear that word," he said finally.

"I'm not going," I replied, my voice hoarse.

"Nina, you know yourself that that's not true. It's impossible for me to finish the garage before June. I'd need thousands of dollars and unfortunately I haven't got that. I'm poor. It's the truth."

Propping myself up on my elbow, I stared down at him. "I've told you before, Jake, money is not important to me. I don't care about it, as long as I have you."

He rolled his eyes. "Money _is_ important, we've already discussed this before. We need money. How do you expect us to survive?"

"I'm talking about big money, Jake."

"Yeah, that's important too. If I haven't got _big_ _money_, how am I supposed to finish off the house, huh? How am I supposed to furnish it?"

"But it's not important, we can just-"

"It is important!," he roared at me, face burning with anger. Rolling off the bed, he stomped across the room and slammed his fist into a mirror. Smashing it to pieces. "I'm fucking sick of everything!"

Sitting up on the bed, hand clasped over my mouth, I stared over at him in shock. Jacob had never been this angry before and if he had, it was never around me. There was always the possibility of him losing control and phasing, which was probably why. But he didn't even look like he was about to explode into a wolf. He just looked completely mental.

Blood rolled down his fingers, dripping onto the floor and to add to the mess, he grabbed the wooden frame of the mirror he destroyed and threw it across the room. Muttering unintelligible words to himself as he did so.

I knew he wouldn't hurt me, so I lay back down. Facing the white wall, my back to him. Another long silence filled the room after that and I decided to just close my eyes. To try and pretend everything was OK. When it so obviously wasn't.

Jacob eventually crawled back into bed, the mattress dipping under his weight as he brushed away the hair that fell over my face. His soft lips pressed onto my tear stained cheek and soon, the whole side of my face had been kissed. Slowly and lovingly.

My eyes fluttered open and I rolled onto my back to gaze up at him, but our eyes only met for a second before he attacked my lips with his own. Devouring my mouth with a burning passion. Our tongues dancing together feverishly. Hearts beating as one.

Throwing a thick leg over my hip, he lowered his weight onto me, until there were no space between us. His hands roaming up and down my sides, leaving a hot trail behind through my clothes. He was literally on fire.

The next couple of minutes passed by like a blur; starting from where he helped me out of my cardigan to the moment our naked torso's touched.

It hadn't been planned and it definitely hadn't been what I'd expected to do so soon.

But when Jacob and I finally made love, it opened my eyes to how beautiful the art of imprinting really was.

And I realized that leaving him wasn't an option anymore.

I was going to fight for my freedom.


	21. Pain and Pleasure

**A/N: Hello my lovely readers. This update was very slow, but I've been going through some stuff so I hope you guys understand. Thank you all for reviewing, I really _really_ appreciate it. **

**And I'd like to give a shout out to my anonymous reader Kiki. Thank you for always reviewing and having lots of kind words to say. I'd reply to you each time if I could. Just wanted to let you know I _do_ love your reviews.**

**Anyway, without further ado.**

**Chapter 21: Pain and Pleasure**

The morning after Jacob and I had made love was wonderful; I awoke with a warm, fuzzy feeling in my tummy and a heart that swelled every time I ran my hands over his bare back. Skin burning beneath my touch. He looked so peaceful laying there next to me, a content look on his face. Taking years away from his features. Revealing the nineteen year old boy he really was. Not a worry on his mind.

When he'd woken up from his peaceful little world, a frown was etched onto his handsome face but soon disappeared when our eyes met. The rest of the morning was spent cuddling, kissing and caressing in his tiny, yet cozy, bed.

Making love to Jacob for the first time had been a beautiful experience; to feel his naked flesh against mine quaked a hunger in me that I hadn't known existed. To kiss him all over for as long as I wanted was like a dream to me. And to feel our bodies become one was so euphoric, so magical. So right.

That everything I'd ever experienced in my life couldn't live up to that moment we shared.

We hadn't done it again after that, it was close to impossible. Billy was always around and my parents were always at home. There was no rush though, we were perfectly happy to spend time together like we always had. But there was always that need that needed to be fulfilled, especially on a hard day. Unfortunately, we couldn't always get what we wanted.

The months passed by us like a blur and when May came around, we couldn't believe it.

Jacob put up a front around me, wearing an unreadable mask on his face so as to make me think he was fine. However, I knew that he wasn't. I knew that he was thinking of the month to come and what it would bring: drama. And there was nothing I could say to make him feel better, because I myself felt a million times worse. So I went along with his pretending to be OK. Even if it was wrong.

Like he'd set out to do, the garage was starting to look more and more like the shell of a house. He wasn't a builder, we all knew that, but Jacob was good with his hands. And even if his friends thought he was being ridiculous, I believed in him. I believed that he would build us a home, perfect or not.

School was getting worse and worse, with all the finals we had coming up. Everyone was excited, both in a good way and a bad way. For example, Nick Fox was all smiles and seemed to be constantly laughing with his friends. It was obvious he couldn't wait to finish up with High School, especially with all the excellent grades he got. On the other hand, Kara was literally shaking with fear. She was never really an attentive student and almost all her marks were in the D and C range. So she was all over the place; taking notes, studying in the library and even paying for a tutor. My heart went out to her.

But I couldn't find it in me to be excited about school coming to an end. All I could think about was the drama that would ensue between my parents and I after graduation. The shouting and the crying that would take place inside our normally quiet home. It was something I was dreading for months.

So on a Saturday afternoon, a week before our finals, I decided to bring up the subject with Jacob. We couldn't go on like that, pretending we were alright when we weren't. It wasn't doing us any favors and it wasn't good for our mental health either.

"Jake, we need to talk," I said softly, squeezing his hand in mine as we walked along the shore on First Beach.

He let out a long sigh. "Yeah, we do."

"You know what I'm talking about right?" I asked, making sure that he was okay with me bringing up the subject.

"Yes, I do but-" he paused, scanning the area with his dark eyes before leading me towards a log. "There's something I need to tell you."

Sitting down upon it, I stared up at him as he stood awkwardly in front of me. "What is it?"

The look in his eyes told me it was something he was ashamed of and a wave of nausea suddenly overcame me. It was nothing new, whenever he needed to give me bad news my stomach would turn. I guessed it was a side effect to being an imprint. Every feeling I had for him was exaggerated and it wasn't always a good thing.

But then I remembered that nothing could get worse than the 'discussion' my parents and I were going to have in the very near future. So whatever it was he needed to tell me couldn't be that bad. After all, what could go wrong with his life? There were no evil vampires around, he was financially stable with his job in Forks and was doing well enough in school. Perhaps he was overreacting about something?

Shoving his large hands into his jean pockets, he rocked back on his heels. "I can't work on the garage anymore," he told me, voice strained.

"Jake, it's okay. I understand that you can't do it," I started, giving him a small, reassuring smile. "We'll work something out, I'll get a job and if we put our money together, we'll find a place to rent. Don't worry about it."

Clenching his jaw, he bent down so that he could look me directly in the eye. "I _can_ build you a house Nina, but unfortunately…"

Pressing my hand to his cheek, I searched his face for an answer. "Tell me, let it out. Unfortunately what?"

Leaning into my touch, he closed his eyes. "I lost my job."

"What?" my jaw dropped. "You.. how? Why?"

Opening his eyes again, he bowed his head. "I wasn't doing things properly, I was distracted… I'm so sorry."

The reason behind his distraction was known to me, so I kept my mouth shut and just sat there. Watching him as he stared down at the sand between us, his lips drawn down at the sides. I'd never thought losing a part-time job would upset me, but it did. All our plans and hopes were built around his job. We needed the money. And in the tiny town of Forks, it was hard to find work.

In fact, Jacob's bad news was worse than I expected. Even more so than the talk I'd have to have with my parents in the upcoming weeks. Things just weren't looking good for us. At all.

Moving to sit down on the sand, back against the log, I motioned for him to sit between my legs. Keeping his gaze on the ground, he flopped down like the weight of the world was on shoulders and rested the back of his head against my chest. Legs sprawled out before him.

Running my fingers through his now shaggy hair, I wondered out loud. "Do you ever think that things happen for a reason?"

"Yeah," he mumbled miserably. "But I hate to think that getting fired means anything, because if it does. It must mean I'm incapable of working."

"Shush, don't say that," I scolded lightly with affection. "Look at it differently, maybe you're never meant to build that house. Maybe there are other things in store for us. Better things."

He scoffed. "All we've got is each other, we can forget about the rest. Might as well go live with the hobo's now."

"Jacob, don't be like that. A lot has been going on lately, you can't expect to give working your all. It's impossible," I reasoned.

"Oh hell yes I can!" he spat out. "I can give anything my all if I put my mind to it, but I chose not to. Because I'm a complete idiot. I mean what did I expect? For my lack of concentration to go unnoticed? That if I got fired I'd have somewhere else to work? Hah! A fucking idiot I am, see who you're stuck with? I feel sorry for you and my dad. Putting up with my bullshit."

Bending forwards, I pressed my lips to the top of his head. "You know that's not true. Look at all the good you've done in your life. Helping your father around, fixing up peoples cars in your garage, putting Bella back together, being an incredible leader to a pack, building me a home. You've done it all and yet you sit here, telling me you're a bullshitting idiot."

He gave my knee a squeeze before tilting his head to look up at me. "But I haven't built you a home, Nee. And you of all people deserve that. I've done everything I could for the people I love, but the person I love the most, _you_, hasn't got anything from me. Nothing. I hate that."

"You gave me your love, Jake. You gave me your heart, body and soul. I couldn't ask for more. You're all I'll ever want. Yes, luxury is a pleasure. But you, you're a blessing. I don't need anything else. I love you."

Giving me a the tiniest of smiles, he bowed his head again, running his hand up and down my thigh. "I can't help how I feel, Nee. My wanting to give you everything, it's.. it's uncontrollable. It comes with the imprint and I know I blame a lot of things on that but it's true. If you're in need of something, I want to give it to you. I _have_ to give it to you. And if I don't.. well I feel like a complete failure. It hurts me."

"But I need you to know that I don't _need_ those things," I told him, combing through his hair once again. "All I need is you and your love and your support, and I have that. So don't beat yourself up about those things anymore, Jake. Please."

Jacob let out a gust of breath before pushing himself up off the ground. "I wish it was that easy, but it's not," he said, turning to face me, his eyes staring out into the woods. "I'm going for a run, I'll see you later." Our eyes met briefly. "You're coming over later right? To study? You know how bad I am at Chemistry."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'll see you then… bye. Love you"

He forced a smile before taking off, the musky scent of him drifting up my nostrils as he went by.

I could've stopped him and made him stay. Maybe held him in my arms and kissed away the sorrow on his face. But everyone needed space, including Jacob and I. There had been a time when we were close to inseparable, however those days had long gone. We weren't living on a cloud anymore, overjoyed by the sudden feelings we had for each other. No, we moved on from that stage and focused more on the things that developed around us. And although we couldn't go a day without seeing one another, we certainly took some space. It was a necessity.

On my way home, I wondered just how hard it would be to make my parents see things the way I did. After all, they were human too. They'd fallen in love, maybe not with each other but with people in their past. So wouldn't they be able to see that I was willing to do anything for Jacob because I loved him? Didn't they understand the true meaning of love?

Wouldn't they understand how hard it would be for me to leave him behind? How it would break my heart?

Didn't they want their daughter to be happy? Maybe not.

But I was going to find out.

* * *

Dinner at the O'Neil table had always been the same over the past few months; mom would serve Joey and I our dinner, and sit down next to us as though it was the most normal thing in the world _not_ to have dad join us.

He would either grab dinner at the Diner in Forks or help himself to leftovers once we were all done. In the beginning it had bothered me that mom never invited him to eat with us, but as the months went by, I grew used to it. Other things had become more important to me anyway.

However, that Saturday evening dad surprised us all by taking a seat at the head of the table and digging in to the fried steak mom had cooked. I couldn't tell whether or not she was angry, but none of us said a word and carried on eating as if nothing happened. Though, as I looked around me every once in a while, I realized what a great opportunity it was to bring up 'the subject'.

Setting my fork down, I cleared my throat. "So have you found a place in Seattle yet?" I asked, directing my question at mom.

"As a matter of fact-" she swallowed. "I have and I've been meaning to speak to you about it."

Dad remained still, focusing his attention on us. While Joey continued to eat unabashedly.

"Well go on then," I urged.

Pushing her plate away, she folded her hands on her lap. "It's an apartment, right in the centre of town and just a twenty minute walk away from the college you're going to attend. There are three bedrooms, a bathroom, kitchen and living room. It's quite small but it'll do for the time being."

"And when exactly do you intend on leaving?"

"Right after you graduate, I've already told you that," she said, glancing between me and Joey. "You're alright with that son, aren't you?"

Joy nodded, just like most kid's would. "Yeah."

"What about you, dad? When are you leaving for L.A?"

He shrugged, his expression unreadable. "July maybe? August?"

I'd never felt so detached from my family as I did at that moment. None of them seemed in the least bit sorry to be leaving La Push, it was as though they hadn't spent half a year there. Even Joey, although he was only a kid, I couldn't understand why he had no problem saying goodbye to his friends forever. It was so strange. So cold.

But then again, my situation was different to theirs. So much different. I had fallen in love with Jacob; the native boy who had no hopes of leaving for the city because he was also a mythical creature that had to lead a pack of wolves. And so he was bound to La Push which meant that I was also bound to it, because I was bound to him. Crazy it was, but also wonderful at the same time.

Outsiders would think otherwise.

"Why can't we just stay here and work things out? There's nothing wrong with La Push. I've made friends here and.. and I like it here." Looking each person in the eye, I said quietly. "Don't tell me you all won't miss it."

Dad snorted, fixing his gaze on me. "I wasn't born yesterday, young lady. You're worried about leaving that- that _man_-" he spat the word out in disgust. "-behind. So don't start about this place, you know it's him you want to stay for."

Before I had the chance to respond, mom spoke up. "Honey, you'll have to leave anyway. There are no colleges around here. Seattle is just the place, you'll meet new people and maybe even people you knew when we lived there. This'll all work out."

"Yeah, you'll see Michelle again," Joey added with a smile, his two front teeth missing. Innocence shining in his young eyes. "Your old best friend."

A hammering started in my head, causing my eyes to burn and my face to turn red. The mortification, anger and disgust I felt towards my father coming to the surface. Giving me a terrible headache. And the fact that my mother thought that this thing I had with Jacob was just… a thing. That I'd meet someone else. It was driving me insane.

"What if I don't want to go to college? Huh?" I asked venomously, glancing between my parents. "What if I-"

Dad cut me off. "That is the most foolish thing you have _ever_ said, Nina!"

"No it's not!" I shot back. "It's not foolish if I don't want it, nobody should be forced."

"I never thought I'd see the day." He shook his head in disbelief. "My own daughter rejecting the idea of college for some peasant man that can't even make it out of High School. I'm disappointed in you."

"He's not a peasant! And he's not a man! Stop talking about him like that, stop it! Leave him alone!" I cried, burying my face in my hands. "I love him."

A long silence filled the room after that.

And all I could think about was Jacob. _Jacob_, _Jacob_, _Jacob_. I remembered a night we'd spent watching the stars in a clearing and the conversation we had. He'd asked me that if my parents refused to let me stay, would I go against their wishes and move in with him, and I promised him that I'd never leave him. That I'd live in my car if I had to. Just to be with him.

But when you finally have to make that decision, it doesn't seem so easy any more. You feel so alone and completely helpless. Like you're a child again and nobody knows what's best for you but your parents. And that every idea you have in your head is ridiculous.

That's exactly how I started to feel under the eyes of my family.

"Love is like money, it doesn't buy you happiness," dad finally said. "I love you, Noah and your mother. But am I happy? No."

"Please stop," mom whispered pleadingly to my father.

"Wait a minute, I need to explain this to my daughter. Nina look at me." So I did. "Our family is falling apart. My own children are being taken away from me, _not_ against my will of course, but I still hate it. I've always wanted a big happy family, however, you don't always get what you want. Do you? So what I'm trying to say is that you may love.. _him_, but in the end, he cannot make you happy. Ever. He's tied to this place and he's got nothing to offer you. Think of how your life would turn out if you remained here with him. It wouldn't be pleasant."

"No." I shook my head. "You don't understand. Jacob's different, he's my equal. He loves me and he'd do anything for me. _Money_ doesn't buy happiness, dad. But love does, maybe you just never found your match?"

The anger I saw flash in my father's eyes caused me to flinch. He'd never really lost his temper around us before, and if he had, I certainly wasn't around to witness it. So to see him look at me that way, caught me off guard.

_This is for Jacob_, I told myself.

"Maybe I haven't," he said in a clipped tone. "But you have no right to speak to me in that manner. This conversation is over."

As he began to rise from his seat, I jumped up, pressing my palms to the table. "I'm not going to Seattle and I'm not going with you to L.A. I'm staying right here. You can't make me leave, I'm eighteen. Remember?"

Dad scowled, raising a hand as if to tell me to stop. "I'm not discussing this.. this nonsense any further."

"Suit yourself," I told him, fighting back my irritation. "But I'm staying."

"Nina, please stop. You're not thinking straight," mom interjected. "You can't stay here, it's impossible. And it's not in your best interest. You've got so much ahead of you honey, so much. You'll do so well in college, I know you will. You're a smart girl and you need to put that to use. Please listen to us for once."

The urge to scream and cry and run away was very strong in my system. So strong that I hung my head to control my breathing, hands curled to fists by my sides. There was no getting through to them, they couldn't see my point. In fact, no one would. Who would support someone who wanted to throw their education away so they could live with their beloved in a tiny house forever and ever? No one. Hell, even Kara would probably think I was insane and she wasn't even family.

Billy Black, the Elders and the pack would probably be the only people who'd understand.

Backing away from the table, I walked around it and began towards the door. But of course, someone had to have the last word.

"You stay here with that Black boy and you'll be damned," dad said behind my back. "Mark my words."

I stormed out of the room after that, rushing down the hall and out of the house as fast as I could. The tears already streaming down my face. Hands and legs shaking. My car seemed so far away from me that when I finally reached it, I breathed a sigh of relief before hopping in.

As per usual, the sky grew dark with the sign of an upcoming storm. Trees swaying with the strong wind. Matching my mood exactly; miserable and cold.

Jacob wanted me to go over to his and study, like I had been doing a lot in the past month. We would occupy the living room for three hours, laying on our stomachs with our heads buried in a book together. Billy would watch us closely, making sure we were focusing on our finals and _not_ on our feelings. That had bothered me in the beginning, but I learned to accept it after a couple of days. He was just being a father.

Afterwards, Jacob would steal a few kisses from me and wrap me up in one of his bear-hugs. Whispering how much he loved me and how much he missed me, against my ear. Reluctantly, I'd leave and promise to call him when I got home. But I began to realize that phone calls and a few hours together weren't enough anymore. However, I never mentioned that to Jacob.

Instead, I lay in bed at night thinking about him and remembering every single detail of our time together. His smile was always what came to my mind first and then his husky voice and his musky smell and the way he laughed and how his lips felt against mine. The memories were never ending and most of the time, I ended up dreaming of him.

I sucked on my lower lip in an attempt to fight back the sobs that threatened to escape as I drove past Kara's house. The things my father said about Jacob echoing through my head, upsetting me more and more.

_You stay here with that Black boy and you'll be damned, _was the very last thing he'd said. But I wouldn't be, he just didn't know that yet. Nobody did except us.

We'd be happy together, very happy. Sometime in the future we'd have our own place to stay and maybe have children of our own. Nothing could go wrong there, not with the love Jacob and I had for each other. Even the thought of waking up next to him _every_ morning seemed like bliss to me and that was only _one_ of the things that would come with living together.

_This is what I want_, I told myself, _and if anyone has any objections that's their problem. Not mine._

As I rounded the corner that lead me to the Quileute Tribal School, a gunshot sounded in the nearby distance. Causing me to slam down on the brakes by the sidewalk, the woods looking dark and eerie as I stared into them in shock.

Then, emerging from the tree-line was none other than Nick Fox. Looking more than a little sheepish, a shotgun in his hands.

"What did you do?," I asked hysterically as I jumped out of my car and began towards him.

"N-Nothing," he said quickly, eyes frantic. "I've got to get going."

"No!" I grabbed his arm to stop him. "You're not going anywhere until you tell me what you did."

Gulping, he avoided my eyes. "I didn't do a-anything."

But it was so obvious he did, that he had shot at something. It was there in his eyes; the fear and the guilt. However, Nick being the boy he was wouldn't dare tell me out straight. He wasn't like that, not at all. Nobody ever questioned his whereabouts and intentions. His popularity and pride wouldn't allow them to.

I wasn't like those people though, I'd find out what he'd done. Even if it took me the whole night to.

"Nick, I heard a gunshot and you're holding a shotgun. Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

Taking a deep breath, his eyes snapped to mine. "What are you doing out here at this hour? You should.. you should be at home. It's not safe out here."

"Stop trying to change the subject!," I hissed. "I'll report you if you don't speak up."

"But I didn't do anything, I just… I just shot, that's all."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I swallowed back my fear. "Shot at what exactly?"

Turning away from me, Nick stared deep into the woods. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration. The shotgun shaking in his hands, a tell-tale of how shaken up he was. Beads of sweat rolling down his temples as his long hair moved with the wind.

"I see him sometimes," he told me quietly, meeting my eyes again. "The bear. A few years ago they were all people could talk about. Hell, even Emily Young got mauled by one. But we never exactly caught them, and now everyone's forgotten about them. They don't realize that they're still out there, that they could attack at any minute. You could be walking to school and… and they could suddenly appear. Rip you to shreds. I haven't seen many, just one. He's always around and I need to get him before it's too late."

It took me a minute to let his information sink in and when it did, I was overcoming with so many emotions that my head started to spin. The first and most important thing on my mind was that Nick could've shot at Jacob. But the second thing on my mind that scared the living daylights out of me was the fact that Emily Young hadn't been mauled by a bear. There were no bears. She had obviously been attacked by one of the pack. Yet, Jacob never told me.

The whole situation seemed unbelievable, but before I could let my mind wander any further, I needed to know who Nick was after.

"What does he look like? The bear?" I asked carefully, voice strained.

He shrugged. "I saw him in daylight once, kind of a reddish brown color. Scary as hell."

Oh no, no, no.

My grip tightened on his arm. "And you shot at him just now?"

"Yeah, I think I missed though. Not sure. Hey, Nina! Wait! Stop! Where….."

But I was already gone. My feet carrying me deep into the woods at a pace quicker than I thought possible. Fear and worry rushing through my veins, pulsing through my body. Giving me more strength to carry on. To find him and make sure he was OK.

I didn't care if he was in wolf-form or not. I had to fight back my fear of his other form. All that mattered was that he was Jacob either way. And that I'd do anything I could to help him, even if that meant putting my life in danger.

The woods were dark and dreary, trees swaying heavily in the strong winds that blew in from the sea. Raindrops fell from the night sky onto my burning cheeks and every now and then I'd trip over my own two feet in my haste. But it didn't stop me from running deeper and deeper into the darkness. My wolf was all that mattered to me, nothing else.

However, as the minutes ticked by, I grew more and more worried about him and his health. There was absolutely no sign of him around, not even a paw print. And I silently cursed the weather for that. The rain washing away all traces of him.

It wasn't until I reached a clearing that I realized I was lost.

Nothing about it was familiar to me and I felt the panic rise up in my throat. I hated the thought of being alone there, without a companion or even a mobile to call for help. Shouting for the pack would only draw the attention of not-so-friendly things; like the cold-ones. So I spun around in circles, eyes darting around me in hopes to find a safe way out. Unfortunately every tree-line looked the same.

"Jacob," I whispered brokenly, hoping that he'd somehow hear me and wishing that he was OK.

Then suddenly, a cold hand clasped over my mouth and an equally cold arm wrapped around my mid-section. Dragging me back into the confines of the woods as I struggled against the abnormally strong hold. The sweet scent of the person making me dizzy.

I'd never felt so weak and light-headed in all my life.

I wanted.. needed to scream. To escape whoever had taken me away, but I stopped myself. Because in my head I could hear a voice, _Jacob's_ voice, telling me to stay calm. Telling me that he was coming to save me, to protect me from the monster. A series of images ran throughout my head, from the first time we kissed to the last time we touched. I couldn't comprehend why I was hearing and seeing those things. It was the strangest thing.

"You must remain calm, I won't hurt you. But he will, if he's not careful," a silky voice whispered into my ear as we came to halt next to an old tree. "You hear me?"

I nodded reluctantly and in turn, he removed his hand from my mouth. Allowing me to speak, but I had nothing to say to him. The need to fall asleep overcoming me instantly.

Luck wasn't on my side though, because sweet-scented man decided to drag me into another clearing. Except this one wasn't empty.

There laying on his haunches was my wolf. Blood drizzling from a deep wound in his side, creating a red pool on the grass beneath him. Whimpers and whines escaping his throat as his body shook with the pain. He'd never looked so helpless. So broken.

A cry escaped my throat once I set eyes on him. "Jake!"

Jacob Black in all his russet-furred beauty flinched as the words left my mouth and I knew then that I should've listened to the sweet-scented man. Anger, rage and disgust flashed in my wolf's dark eyes and before I even had a chance to move out of the way, he lunged forward.

The last thing I remembered was a sharp pain and the hysterical scream I let out.

* * *

_**A/N: Any of you disappointed that there was no detailed description of Jacob and Nina's first time? Let me know. I'll write up a one-shot if you guys want.**_


	22. Expecting The Unexpected

**A/N: I'm speechless, completely and utterly speechless. It took this long for the internet to reopen… 5 MONTHS.**

**So I live in Libya and as you all probably know, they switched off the internet on us. These past months have been… I don't even have the words to describe how they've been. But I've been under siege and it was a nightmare.**

**However, I never gave up on this story of mine so here are the final chapters to it. Thank you all SO MUCH for your amazing patience. And if you don't want to continue reading this then I understand, it's been too long. **

**God bless.**

**Chapter 22: Expecting The Unexpected**

"Nina," he whispered brokenly, sobbing into my shoulder as I woke up.

The first thing my eyes landed on was the moon peeking out from the clouds. Then as I took a moment to remember, I realized I was still in the woods. Except I was no longer in the clearing where it had all happened and it was no longer raining.

A low moan escaped my lips as I became aware of the burning pain in my right shoulder. The one Jacob's forehead rested on.

I couldn't remember much of what had last happened. All I knew was that something hurt me and knocked me out. In a way, it seemed like a dream. But unfortunately, it wasn't close to one. Especially with the throbbing in my head.

"J-Jake," I managed to force out, dropping my gaze to stare down at his head. His silky, black hair damp with the rain.

When he raised his head to look up at me, I gasped at the paleness of his face. "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. Please," he begged, tears streaming from his eyes. "Please forgive me, I'll never ever hurt you again. I swear. Please, Nina. I love you so much, I'm so sorry. So so so sorry."

"You didn't do anything…" I trailed off in confusion, glancing down at my shoulder.

Three long gashes were splayed there, red and raw. Dried blood smeared around the openings. It certainly wasn't a nice sight and it hurt like hell, but I was more concerned about _his_ wound. He'd been bleeding last time I'd seen him and apparently hadn't done anything about it. Which worried me deeply.

"You don't remember anything do you?" he asked sadly, pushing stray hairs away from my face.

Leaning up on my elbows in the wet grass, I scanned his naked body from head to toe. "I remember that you were hurt. Are you OK?"

Biting down on his lip, he twisted sideways to reveal a circular shaped wound just above his left buttock. Dark red blood dried all around it, some still shimmering from the slit. It was far worse than mine and I wondered if he needed a doctor. A gunshot was serious.

"The bullet.. I managed to get it out.. with difficulty of course. But the healing process has slowed from the amount of blood I lost, I'll be fine within an hour or two," he explained.

"You lost a lot of blood?" I worried. "Maybe you should-"

He hushed me, tears still trickling down his cheeks although he wasn't crying anymore. "I promise you I'll be fine. This isn't the first time it has happened to our kind and it won't be the last. I'll be better than ever before you know it."

Trusting his word, I nodded. "Okay."

"Look at you," he said. "Worrying about _me_ when _I_… _I_ hurt you. You're so selfless at times honey, I don't deserve you. How could I do that.. why didn't I control myself.. I'm afraid I'm losing it. That I'm going to drive myself insane."

Much of what he was saying didn't make any sense to me, probably because whatever had happened was not clear in my memory. He was saying that he had hurt me, that he had caused me this pain. But I knew he wouldn't have ever hurt me purposefully, so I chose not to question him about it. Not then. Not when _he_ was injured himself.

Reaching for his neck, I ran my fingers over his smooth skin before pulling him down to me with some effort. Our lips met in a kiss that didn't last long. I wasn't surprised though, his reluctance to touch me was evident in his body language.

Falling back against the grass, I watched the rain clouds move slowly with the wind, blocking the moons light. The pain in my shoulder wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, however it still stung and I was badly in need of a bandage. But I didn't want to mention it to Jacob, he was already miserable with guilt as it was. Bringing up the subject would only make him feel worse.

He paced the wood's ground next to me, taking in a shaky breath every now and then. There was no denying he looked awful. And although he had told me he'd be perfectly fine before long, I still worried that he wouldn't. I couldn't help it.

"We need to head back, Jake," I said quietly, still staring up at the sky. "Staying here isn't going to do us any good."

Instead of answering me verbally, he gathered me up in his arms in one quick movement and cradled me to his chest. Standing like that for a moment as he took his time to gather his thoughts. When he did finally start walking, a sweat broke out on my forehead; a result of all the worrying I was doing over him.

Nick had no right to be wandering the woods with a shotgun, shooting at Jacob. It was wrong in so many ways. And he wasn't going to get away with it, I wouldn't let him. He was the reason why Jacob was in such a bad state and things could've been worse. I wondered briefly whether Jacob knew it was Nick who shot at him.

All the thoughts and questions left my head when Jacob fell to his knees on the ground, still managing to keep hold of me somehow. He took in a ragged breaths and as my eyes met his face, I was overcome with so many emotions that my head started to spin.

"The beach.. it's nearby, but I… I'm too weak to make it," he whispered hoarsely through near-purple lips. "Keep walking straight ahead.. and.. and get Sam. Quickly."

Moving to sit on his thick thighs, I held his face in my hands. Holding back my tears so as to not frighten him. "Promise me you'll be OK out here, Jake. Promise me that when Sam get's here, you'll be OK."

He smiled weakly. "I promise. Now go, before it rains again."

"I love you," I told him before I scrambled away and onto to my feet. "Stay strong for me."

"I will, Nee. Love you."

Running as fast as my feet could carry me, I made it to Sam Uley's place fifteen minutes later. It had started to rain again on my way, so I stood at the doorstep soaked to the bone. Clothes dripping onto the pavement.

Shape-shifters were meant to heal faster than humanly possible. That you could even see the skin close in on itself before your own eyes. But Jacob's body wasn't functioning properly and I noted mentally that his temperature had dropped. Which wasn't a good sign. At all.

I prayed with every passing second that he'd be OK.

"Nina? What-" Emily started, eyes widening at the sight of my bloody shoulder. But I cut her off.

"Where's Sam, where is he? I need him. I need him now. Where is he?" I asked frantically, pushing past her into the house. "Sam!"

Her hand came to rest upon my shaking arm. "Nina, calm down. What's going on?"

But I hadn't got time to answer her question, because Sam had just come running down the stairs. "Did someone call me?"

"Sam!" I ran to him, desperately grasping his hand. "Sam you need to come with me, Jacob's been shot and he's lost a lot of blood and he's weak and he can't walk and he looks so bad and he needs help and he wanted me to get you because you're the only one he trusts in and-"

"Slow down," he said softly, shooting a nervous glance towards Emily. "Jacob was shot?"

I nodded, tears building up in my eyes once again. "A while ago and he's not healing fast enough. Please come with me before… before.. we just need to get to him."

However, against my protesting Sam made me stay with Emily so she could tend to my wounds. There was a sadness in her eyes as she examined the gashes and sometimes she'd get lost in her own thoughts. I assumed it was because she had been attacked by a wolf too. Luckily, Jacob hadn't done me much damage. Unlike her.

We never spoke a word to each other during the whole fifteen minutes we spent together. But the silence was oddly comfortable and once a bandage had been wrapped around my shoulder, she sent me up to the spare bedroom to get some rest. Lending me one of her tank tops so as to avoid putting pressure on my wound by pulling on a shirt.

Laying there on the twin sized bed, I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself. Thinking back to the day's events. Jacob's injury worried me to no end and every couple of minutes I'd feel the panic rise up my chest. He may be strong, but not strong enough. Not like the cold-ones.

Whoever that had been, whispering into my ear and dragging me to my wolf, had most certainly been one of them; a bloodsucker, the pack liked to refer to them as. His marble-like skin had been so cold and so very pale. And the strength he had was impossible. It was almost like he was a statue come to life. How I didn't pass out in his presence was beyond me.

Who had he been anyway? And why was he there in the first place? I couldn't make up my mind whether he was doing me a favor by taking me to Jacob or not.

With a million questions swirling around in my mind, sleep didn't take long to overcome me.

_"Do I displease you?," he asked, placing a hand on my hip as I lay with my back to him. "Is that the reason why you've been distant towards me?"_

_"No," I whispered in response. "It's not you, it's me."_

_"Would you like to explain the meaning of that to me or should I just wait another month for an answer? Perhaps longer?"_

_Rolling onto my back, I stared up into his guarded gaze as he propped himself up on an elbow. "Ethan I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you and becoming more of a stranger to you than a wife. I truly am sorry."_

_"That doesn't answer my question."_

_Before I had the chance to respond, little Noel appeared at the doorway. His big brown eyes glistening with tears. It was a regular occurrence every night, he simply couldn't sleep alone and cried for his mommy and daddy until they allowed him to sleep in their bed. Your heart would go out to him._

_Ethan wasn't too soft on him, ordering him back to his room sometimes. But I couldn't find it in me to ever do that. Just one look at my son's face and all I wanted to do was make him happy. Happy like his father had always been._

_With a sigh, Ethan pushed himself up against the headboard. "Come here, son."_

_And so he did and there was a lot of crying, but I already he knew Ethan wouldn't allow him to stay with us tonight. There were things we needed to discuss. Things I desperately needed to tell him but couldn't find it in me to do so. Because they'd destroy him._

_"Mommy please, I can't sleep," Noel begged through his hiccups. Rosy cheeks drenched in tears._

_Taking him from Ethan, I cradled the four-year-old to my chest. "Will a lullaby help you sleep?"_

_He nodded in response, sniffling lightly._

_It only took five minutes before sleep consumed him and I made no move to take him back to his bed. Ethan's irritation showed on his face, but I ignored it. My mind was set on other things, more important things. Like how I was supposed to tell him after all these years. And how disgusted he'd be. He'd hate my guts._

_"If you insist on keeping Noel here then I suggest you speak up. You're not using him as an excuse to postpone this conversation," he said firmly, grey eyes piercing mine._

_My mouth opened to speak, but the words were impossible to force out. "Ethan I….."_

_He pursed his lips. "I need to know now, please."_

_With a shaky breath, I glanced down at the sleeping child in my arms and back at him. My heart hammering against my chest. It was now or never. I had to tell him, even if it ruined everything. Things were never going to work out between us either way._

_"Ethan, I need you to know that I care for you and that I appreciate your kindness and your love," I told him slowly, my voice barely a whisper. "But you need to know that… that-" the words caught in my throat, choking me, but I forced them out, "- Noel isn't your son."_

_There were no words to describe the look that took place on his face and I fought hard not to look away. I needed to be strong, even if it hurt me terribly inside. Ethan deserved to know the truth. No matter what._

_Studying Noel's face for a moment, he glanced up at me. Lips quivering with the news. "I never… there was a time I thought he looked different… but I shook it off. I never thought that you… you'd elope with another man! How could you? How could you do this to me?"_

_Burying his face in his hands, he sobbed openly. Shoulders shaking with the force of his cries. It was such a rare thing to see a man cry that I was overcome with shock. But as it slowly faded away, my heart broke into a million pieces for him. He didn't deserve this. All he had ever been was good to me._

_"I'm so sorry," I choked out, holding Noel tighter to me._

_"Who?" he asked, bringing his hands down from his tear streaked face. "I deserve to know."_

_That question alone brought back so many memories. From the moment I saw him in his breechclout, long black hair flowing with the wind, deep brown eyes burning into mine. To the moment we forgot about the world and lost ourselves in one another. Such a wonderful experience, so unforgettable. That I could still feel his large hands on me when I thought of him._

_In this world, the year 1799, my family would forbid me to marry a Native. Even though him and I had known each other a very long time. Even though we loved each other. Even though he was there before Ethan ever came on the scene. They refused and I was made marry the wealthy land-owner._

_Never to see, touch or kiss my love ever again._

_But having his child kept us connected and my cheeks burned as I began to tell Ethan who the father was…_

"Jacob," I whispered, half-asleep. Reaching for him on the empty bed.

* * *

The next morning I awoke to the sound of lashing rain hitting against the windows and voices coming from the kitchen downstairs. It took a moment for me to gather my thoughts, and when I did, I sat up so suddenly that my head spun. Which resulted in me rushing to the bathroom to throw up everything I'd eaten the previous night.

Emily, Sam and Embry were waiting on me in the hall when I came down the stairs. Their eyes zeroing in on the bandage on my shoulder. There was no point in covering it up, it'd only hurt trying to pull material over it, so I decided to borrow Emily's tank top a little longer. Despite the freezing weather.

"Is he OK?," I asked once I reached the bottom. Glancing between each of them.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, he's alright. Weak, but alright. He'll survive."

Breathing a sigh of relief, I sat down on a step. "Where is he now? Can I go to him? Did you take him to a doctor?"

"No, he didn't need a doctor as he'd already managed to get the bullet out. Basically, the only problem he has is the fact that his healing process has slowed. He'll be back to normal sooner than you know. Give him a few days to recover. Less than a week even."

I was over the moon with the fact that he was OK, but knowing that he wasn't well made me feel uneasy. If only Nick hadn't been socareless. He was spoiled rotten and seemed to think he could get away with anything.

Luckily for him, Jacob's injury hadn't been serious.

"Nina? Are you alright? You're looking a little on the pale side," Emily noted, moving to lay a hand upon my forehead.

"I'm fine, just got up too quickly this morning is all," I told her, giving her a weak smile. "Worried about him, you know?"

She gave me a smile of hers in return. "He'll be happy." Her eyes twinkled. "To see you and all."

"That's if he's awake," I pointed out.

The walk to the Black household was short and refreshing. Helping to clear my mind and focus on the good of the situation. I wondered briefly whether my parents were worried about my whereabouts, but something told me that my mother knew where I was and that she'd make up an excuse for my father. My thick-minded father.

I couldn't look at him in a good light any longer. No matter what I said or did wouldn't help change his mind about Jacob. In a way, he reminded me of the dream I'd had set back in the 1700's. When it wasn't acceptable for a white to marry a Native. I knew that that wasn't anywhere near the reason he didn't accept Jacob, but it still stung to think he didn't approve. No matter what.

Speaking of the dream, it left goose-bumps on my skin every time I remembered it. The whole thing had felt so real and so very miserable. I'd even felt guilty about hurting my 'dream' husband when I'd woken up. However, like all of my dreams, the meaning behind them I could not understand.

Or perhaps I wasn't meant to.

Billy opened the door with a broad smile. "Didn't think it'd take you long to turn up. Not for a second."

"As long as he's willing to see me, I take that as a good thing." I laughed lightly.

Jacob lay awake in his bed, a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead under the rays of sunlight that peeked in through the open window. A white sheet covering him from the waist down. His skin had taken back it's natural russet tone, though there were dark circles under his deep set eyes that weren't normally present. All in all he looked better. Much better.

Closing the door behind myself, I made my way to him slowly. Kneeling next to the bed when I reached him, so that our faces were level with each other. My nostrils filling with his musky scent instantly.

"Hi," I said softly, pressing my palm to his cheek.

"Hi," he repeated, offering me a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I was so worried about you last night, but I knew you were in good hands."

Frowning, he glanced down at my shoulder. "I was worried about you too. So worried that you'd hate me for what I did to you."

"Jake." I sighed. "It's nothing really, you were just trying to protect me from… who was he?"

"A Cullen, his name's Edward."

My jaw dropped. "Isabella's husband?"

"Yeah, him. Putting his filthy hands on you. I'm so sick of him and his family, it's like you can't escape them. They're everywhere. Always causing problems. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have hurt you like that. Filthy bloodsucker."

"What was he doing out there anyway?"

He shrugged. "Hunting probably, but as usual he had to interfere. Can you believe he thought he was protecting you?"

"Protecting me?" I asked confusedly.

"Yeah." He chuckled darkly. "From me, can you believe it? He saw me get shot so he thought that I'd attack you because I wouldn't be thinking 'rationally' with the injury. And then what does he do? He flings you across the clearing right after my claw connected with your shoulder. You hit your head pretty badly off the ground. Probably why you don't remember much. You're fine though, it wasn't serious."

From the bitter look on his face and the faraway look in his eyes, I knew there must be more to the story. However, his reluctance to finish put me off asking. He either didn't want to remember or couldn't be bothered talking about it any further. So I didn't push the subject, even though a part of me was extremely curious.

Scooting over to the far side of the bed, a brown hand patted the space next to him, inviting me to cuddle. It always amazed me how he could make room being the massive man he was, in fact I still couldn't get over how much he'd grown since that 'Spiritual Journey' he'd been on. The tattoo was an exception; It was art with a meaning and I grew used to seeing it with each day.

I slipped into the bed, rolling onto my side to face him. Losing myself in his loving gaze. "Have you healed properly?"

Instead of answering me, he sat upright and twisted around, revealing a small circle of a scar. Pink in color. It looked nothing like it had the previous night and to an outsider it'd probably just appear as a burn. Nothing too serious.

Pushing on his shoulder gently, I moved closer to him as he took the hint and lay down on his stomach. The white sheet falling over his smooth skin. His scar appearing a lighter pink under the rays of sunlight. For a moment, I forgot about Billy and bent forward to kiss my way down his spine. Pecking his scar lightly.

Jacob shivered before rolling onto his back, grasping my chin between his thumb and index finger. "Someday we won't have to worry about people walking in on us."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, blushing furiously. "I got carried away…"

"There's no harm in that." He smiled. "Now come cuddle with me, I've missed you."

We lay there talking about unintelligent things. Our laughter and chatter echoing throughout the wooden walls of the tiny room. It was when I began to tell him about my strange dream, that he fell asleep. A peaceful look on his young face.

I wanted to stay there with him all day and forget all of our problems. But I knew I couldn't, not with how I walked out on my family last night. They were most likely wondering where I was and I'd have to show my face whether I wanted to or not. So pressing my lips to his high cheekbone, I slipped out of the bed as quietly as I could. Careful not to wake him.

"Nina," he whispered just as my feet touched the floor. "Don't leave me."

I turned to look down at him, a sad smile on my face. "I wish I didn't have to, but my parents will be worried."

He moved to sit up, reaching for my arm. "Just this once, please."

"Jake." I sighed miserably. "I can't, I really can't."

But he was stronger than me and before I knew it, I was laying beneath him as he peppered my neck with kisses. No evidence of his sleepiness present. The Quileute words he murmured against my skin reminding me of our first time.

"Your dream," he said, running the back of his hand down my cheek. "You were unhappy with another man because you wanted me. You loved me. And so I'm here with you now. Take this opportunity to touch me like you needed in your sleep. Because I'm yours and nothing will ever tear us apart."

Leaning up, I captured his lips in a kiss. "I'm so glad this isn't 1799."

"And another thing," he said against my mouth. "Your dream got me wrong."

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up into his eyes from under my lashes.

"I'd never ever allow my child to be taken away from me. Ever."

The way he'd said that, so seriously, so firmly. Making him look an even stronger man to me. There were so many guys out there who'd leave their pregnant girlfriends without a backward glance. My Jacob wasn't like that though, couldn't ever be like that, and for a split-second I felt the need. The need to be with him completely. But I pushed it away as quickly as it came. There would be a time and place for that.

However, my mind filled with another thought. A thought I'd pushed far away because it was ridiculous. It was also impossible. Periods weren't always regular, were they? I remembered Kara telling me how hers had been two months late. So it was completely normal, nothing to jump to conclusions about.

What worried me was that I hadn't bled since the night Jacob and I made love. Twelve weeks ago.

But he'd used protection, it wasn't possible for me to become pregnant. The delay was probably just a coincidence. It was silly of me to even let my mind wander that far. Childish really. Jacob would probably think me crazy if he knew what I was thinking. And I wouldn't blame him.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, eyes searching mine.

I blushed. "Nothing really."

"Let me guess." He gave me a wolfish grin, flashing white. "Me in nothing but a breechcloth?"

_Oh, I wish it were that simple. I really do._

"The thought _has_ crossed my mind," I teased half-heartedly. My mind still clinging to images of myself swollen with his child, breaking the news to him, of his reaction. Good or bad? Indifference maybe? I didn't know.

A warm hand ran over my tummy, stroking me there. "I'll wear one for you sometime." Lowering his voice, he continued. "When we're alone."

"Is that so? And tell me, where would you get one?" I smiled.

"Well considering the fact that it is the twenty-first-century, I wouldn't say it'd be too hard to find one. You've got fancy dress stores, the internet, I'd have it in no time. Maybe I'll surprise you one day, when-" he winked. "-we're alone."

Alone, as in living together. As in the upcoming months. As in _after_ graduation. I was sick to my stomach thinking of next month and how things would turn out. Would my parents let me go without a fight? Surely not. And most importantly, would I have to leave La Push? Obviously, I didn't want to. Never wanted to. But decisions come with consequences and the more I thought about staying, the more I began to see things for what they really were.

Lost in my thoughts, Jacob pulled me out of them by brushing hair out of my face. Our eyes met and I knew in a second that he had picked up on my mood. His playful expression replaced with a far more serious one.

"You're thinking of next month aren't you?" he asked, but it wasn't really a question at all. "You're imagining the worst possible scenarios and worrying yourself sick, like I told you not to time and time again."

"It's not like I can switch off my own thoughts, Jake," I muttered.

With a roll of his eyes, he said. "Why? Why do you torment yourself by thinking ridiculous things? Is it that you want to go? Is that it? Am I too blind to see the obvious?"

Taken aback and stung by the words that had just left his mouth, I shoved against his chest. "Get off me. Now."

"No!" grabbing my face in his hands, he forced me to look at him. "Tell me that I'm right. Tell me."

"Get off me, Jacob! Get off me right now!"

"You want to leave-"

"Jacob let me-"

"Don't you, don't you-"

"Let-"

"You're having second thoughts-"

"Stop it-"

"And you wanted to _hide_ your decision from me, but in the end you knew I'd find out. I thought you liked it here? That being with me was all you wanted from life. But now you see that I'm just what your father calls me, maybe he's gotten to you-"

Giving his chest one last shove, I screamed into his face. "Get off me you heartless bastard! Get off me now!"

Jacob instantly froze and within a second, was laying on his back next to me.

I didn't even bother to get up. Instead I lay there next to him and stared up at the ceiling. My mind blank. Not a thought was running through my head. The only thing I could acknowledge was the deep hurt I felt by what he'd said to me.

How could he have assumed that _that_ was why I was constantly thinking about leaving? Didn't I tell him how much I loved and cared for him? Didn't he remember the promise I made to him the night we made love that I wouldn't leave? Didn't he listen to a word I said? Didn't he believe in me?

_Didn't he know that he was all I had?_

A hiss suddenly escaped his mouth and I instinctively snapped my head around to look him over. But he turned his face away from me, staring directly at the pale wall with his teeth clenched in what looked to be pain. Red blotches appearing on his neck.

Within a second I knew that it was his wound effecting him, it explained why he'd been so tired when I first came into the room. However, a part of me couldn't let go of the hurtful things he said and so I remained still. Even though it was killing me inside to see him that way.

One thing that bothered me to no end was the dirt that clung to his skin from the previous night in the woods. Angry or not, he was in desperate need of a bath.

To help clear my mind and focus on more important things, I slipped out of the bed and headed for the door. The bed creaked behind me and Jacob made a disapproving noise in his throat. But I ignored him and headed on out towards the bathroom.

As I filled the bath with warm water, it occurred to me that Billy was no longer around. Obviously, he'd heard me shouting at his son and decided to give us some privacy. Which I greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, my parents were nowhere near as understanding as him...

"What-"

"Please just… don't say anything," I told him quietly as I took his hand and brought him to wash.

For a moment I was about to leave him alone and give him privacy, but then I thought better of it. There were no boundaries between us any longer. We'd given each other all there was to possibly give and although we'd had a little fight, I could still help him. Didn't mean I had to talk to him, did it?

Lowering himself into the bath, a relieved expression settled onto his face and he let out a sigh of contentment as he lay in the soothing water. "Nee-"

"Jacob, please."

"I can't, Nee. I can't stay quiet for any longer or I'll go crazy. Let me talk to you, let me explain myself."

"You don't need to…"

"Yes I do." A wet hand cupped my cheek, love filled eyes gazing into mine. "What I said back there, I didn't mean one word. I know that you don't want to go- to leave me. And I'm not making excuses for myself but I'm tired of waiting around, not knowing what's _really_ in store for us. Especially you, I don't want to see you hurt or let down. I wish things were just simple, and that you and I could… dunno, run away together? I know, stupid right. But it'd be much easier than having that 'talk' with your parents. The one you dread."

I managed a smile, despite my miserable state. "It would, but then I wouldn't be facing reality would I?"

"No, you wouldn't be. That's the point. Reality sucks."

"Oh, Jake." I sighed miserably, reaching out to comb my fingers through his still-dry hair. "Oh Jake, Oh Jake, Oh Jake. You need to open your eyes and see, really see what life- this life, is all about. You're so mature in your looks that I forget you're as young as myself. That although we may know what we want, we don't know how to achieve it because we're ignorant to the realities of life. And we're that way for a reason. But we've found each other now, way before most teenagers find their true love and that's the problem. We're still too young to be thinking of moving in together, of starting a life together, of-" I bit my lip and shook the thought away. "There's only so much we can do, Jake. It's so very confusing."

Jacob watched me, a serious expression painted onto his handsome and tired face. The corners of his red, full lips drawn down as he lay there in the tub, digesting all the words I'd spoken to him.

There was nothing left for me to say, so I took his wash-cloth into my hand and began to wipe him down.

"I think you're the one who needs to be catered to," he said after a while.

I shrugged in response, mumbling something nonsensical to myself as I ran the cloth down over his chest.

"Nina stop," he said, grabbing my wrist to stall my movement. "You know I'm capable of doing this myself. Something's on your mind and I know it, tell me. Confide in me, you know I'm the only one who won't judge you."

"No, there's nothing. Really," I said, not quite so convincingly.

But Jacob wasn't having any of it and before I even realized what he was doing, I was pulled down into the tub on top of him. My head falling against his heaving chest. Our legs tangling together and my clothes completed soaked with soapy water.

_Not what I imagined him ever doing._

"Jacob Black!" I screeched, struggling to push myself up.

His arms wound around my waist in a vice-grip. "You're not going anywhere missy. Not until you start talking."

"Jacob your father might-"

"Shh, he's gone to the Clearwater's. He of all people knows when a couple needs time to talk, trust me."

_Billy may know that_, I thought to myself bitterly, _but he certainly wouldn't want to know what was on my mind._

"Why do you insist on knowing everything?" I asked him, my body stiff in his arms. "Perhaps you wouldn't like everything you hear? Or… or maybe I want to keep things to myself. Have you ever thought of that?"

He clicked his tongue. "I thought we held no secrets from each other?"

"Not every thought you and I have is a secret, some of them are just things we'd like to keep to ourselves…" I trailed off.

Jacob's hands slid up my sides until they reached my underarms. For a second, I thought he was about to tickle me but he only lifted me upwards, so that our faces were level. In his eyes I could see the underlying hurt I must've caused him by my refusal to speak my mind, however I couldn't find it in me to feel any sympathy towards him, simply because I found him to be overreacting. Sometimes I wondered whether the imprint's effect on him was stronger than mine.

"There are things we keep to ourselves, Nina. But whatever it is you're tormenting yourself about isn't just in your mind, but on your face and your body. I can see it, feel it-" his brows furrowed together in confusion, "-hell, I can even smell it off you. Your scent is different, slightly stronger and a little sweeter. There's no hiding any of this from me anymore, sooner or later the pack may pick up on it. So do me the honor and tell me before anyone else, you know you can count on me."

My lips trembled with the information he'd given me and suddenly, I was overcome with a sense of fear I'd never experienced before. Each and every single thought or secret I ever had didn't seem nearly as important as to what he was going to have me confess. And I started to panic as a rush of scenarios flooded the front of my mind, none of them in the least bit reassuring.

_What would he say? What would he do? Where would this put us?_

"Jake," I said pleadingly, shaking my head. "Give me time, please."

"There's no such thing as time, not now. Tell me."

"You'll hate me if I tell you."

His eyes widened. "That's nonsense, how could I ever hate you?"

"Oh trust me you will… you'll hate it… especially now. The timing is all wrong."

"Look at me," he ordered softly, causing my eyes to lock on his. "Really look at me. Can't you see it?"

"See what?"

"The love I feel for you. It's right there, plain for the whole world to see. I'll always feel this way for you and I'm the only one in this whole entire world who will ever feel this passionately about you. So look me in the eye and tell me what's been plaguing your mind,I promise I'll make you feel better."

Truth was, I did feel and see and sense his love for me every minute of every day. It was even stronger as I lay there atop of him in the too-narrow tub, his naked skin igniting a fire of utter devotion within me through the layers of my clothes. One of my most treasured feelings. Yet, it didn't make me feel in the least bit better about what I was about to tell him, in fact it made me feel worse.

Why, you ask? Because I was afraid he'd grow cold beneath me and in turn, destroy me inside.

But I hadn't really got a choice anymore, either I told him or we ended up having an unnecessary argument. I decided to go with the former, since the words were already threatening to spill from my lips at any moment.

_Don't let him be mad, don't let him be upset, don't let him hate me…._

Leaning in, I kissed him chastely before whispering against his soft lips. "Jacob, I'm pregnant."


	23. Less Than Perfect

**Warning: Chapter contains foul language.**

**Chapter 23: Less Than Perfect**

The silence that filled the room after I broke the news to Jacob became almost unbearable. And what made matters worse was that he wore a hard mask on his face, preventing me from seeing what was going on in his mind. Something I found surprising and very disappointing.

His lack of words was hard enough for me to bear, but his rigidness I couldn't stand. So as awkward as it was to climb over his massive body and out of the tub, I succeeded in doing so and stood by the sink. Thinking over the situation we were both in and how we'd managed to get ourselves into it in the first place.

Jacob, however, managed to read my thoughts.

"We used protection, your being pregnant is impossible. Completely impossible. People try to conceive children every day, working on it all the time. You and I only did it once and that once I used a condom. There's no chance of you being pregnant. Wherever that idea came from, forget it, it is _impossible_."

"Anything is possible, Jake," I said, staring at my reflection in the mirror. "These things happen. I know it's hard to believe, I do. Trust me, I've been having mental arguments with myself about it for the past two weeks but it'd only be for a couple of minutes because I'd shove the idea into the back of my mind. Hoping that it wasn't true. You have no clue how terrified I was and still am."

Some minutes later, he spoke. "So you're saying that you took a test and it turned out positive?"

"No, I took nothing."

"Then how the heck do you know?" he asked incredulously.

"I just do," I mumbled.

"This is ridiculous, Nina. You can't possibly know that you're pregnant without finding out for sure. Look at you, you're not even showing any signs that you're-"

"My period hasn't come for three months!," I hissed, snapping my head around to glare at him. "And don't tell me it's a coincidence that the last time I had it was a week before you and I made love, because it's not. I also recall you telling me I smelt different _lately_, I wonder _why_?"

This piece of information I threw at him caught him off-guard. His perfect face that only seconds ago looked as hard as stone, softened until he looked his age. Innocence and fear and doubt flashing over the dark pools that were his eyes.

I knew how he was feeling, I'd been struggling with the same emotions for the past fifteen days. Feeling more terrified than I'd ever felt before, which was in one word: awful. It felt like the world's weight had been thrown on your shoulders and there was absolutely nothing you could do to shake it off. Which made you feel so alone. So lost.

"Nina, I need a minute by myself," he told me, breaking the thick silence.

So I left the room, making sure to close the door over behind myself, before making my way back into his bedroom to find some dry clothes. I was fully aware of the fact that none of his things would fit me, with him being so big and me being so tiny, but I didn't care then. Anything would do.

As I lay down upon his bed in a t-shirt that fit me like a mini-dress, I stared up out the window and watched the sky grow darker by the minute. The same sky Kara saw when she drew her curtains, the same sky that surrounded Jacob and I wherever we were, the same sky my family saw as they sat down for dinner.

I wondered what they were thinking about me, whether my father was shouting at my mom for not being hard enough last night or if Joey was feeling down, playing video games alone in his room to get away from all the drama that constantly ensued in our house.

I wondered and wondered and wondered until I ended up calling them from the house phone.

"Where are you? Tell me where you are, tell me that you're safe," mom whispered, so as my dad wouldn't overhear anything.

"I'm at Jacob's," I told her. "I've only been here a while, spent the night at Emily Young's."

"Emily Young?" she gasped. "Nina, she was mauled by a bear! And I don't know about you but that story sounds fishy to me, what if something happened to you? Wh-"

"Mom, calm down. Emily is great, really great. Don't worry about me, I just needed to get away for a while…"

After a moment's silence, she said. "Nina, you need to come home now."

"I know, just give me an hour-"

"No, I'll give you twenty minutes. You really need to get back, your dad's not very pleased with you running off like that and we need to talk, all of us."

With a sigh, I agreed and promised her I'd be home. Much to my displeasure.

Jacob was standing in the kitchen doorway when I turned around, a towel wrapped around his waist. Obviously he had been eavesdropping, but I wasn't about to confront him about that, it was the last thing on my mind at the time.

"So I guess I'll just throw your clothes in the dryer," he said, shooting me a look that told me twenty minutes wasn't enough for us to discuss things.

"Jake, you know I can't stay out much longer-"

But he was already gone.

A series of slamming doors and rough handling of furniture quickly followed, his way of letting me know he wasn't in the brightest of moods. I heard him mutter under his breath every now and then, sometimes a curse would be among the words. Childish, was what I told myself he was being, but I knew that was far from the case.

My stomach turned when he returned with my clothes and I saw the expression on his face. He looked so angry and so irritated that I caught his wrist as he turned to leave me, hoping that we could somehow talk, if only for a minute. But he wasn't having any of it and shook my hand off, storming out of the room as quickly as he came.

So I pulled on my damp clothes as fast as I could and left the Black household as quick as he left me.

* * *

If I had known what was occurring in my own home, I wouldn't have kept my promise. Firstly, I would've made sure Jacob and I parted on good terms. Secondly, I would've made sure my clothes were completely dry. And thirdly, I would've made sure I looked presentable.

Presentable for family members such as; Aunt Mary, Uncle Joe, Grandma Beth and my youngest cousin Kyle. Relatives of whom my mother failed to mention had come to visit on the phone.

Why had they suddenly turned up, you ask? Because my parents thought it'd be nice to have a get together for the first and last time in our La Push home.

"Look at the state you're in! go upstairs right now and put on your yellow dress. You know which one, don't give me that look. And come straight down, we've got guests here," were my mom's first words when I entered the house.

The getting dressed part didn't take me long to do, but the pacing around my room took me so long that Joey had to knock on my door and ask what was taking me forever. I just couldn't get my mind away from my being pregnant. Especially since it seemed more real after telling Jacob about it.

It was a scary feeling, knowing that you were bringing a child into the world when you had just left childhood yourself. That wasn't the only thing that scared me though, things such as not being prepared for such a huge responsibility and not being financially stable were driving me insane. The only thing that made me feel a little better inside was the tiny ounce of hope that I'd mistaken all the signs and that I was _not_ pregnant at all.

_"I'd be so lucky,"_ I mumbled to myself as I made my way down the stairs.

When I finally entered the living-room, it looked almost unrecognizable with the extra four people in the room, the amounts of food on the coffee-table, and the lively atmosphere. Reminding me of how it used to be back when I was I younger, back when we were all happy as a family. Showing me how miserable it was around our house nowadays, how dull and dreary it must seem to Kara when she comes over.

My aunt Mary was the first person to rush over to me and wrap me up in one of her hugs. One I realized I missed.

"Nina! Oh my goodness, you've grown so much," she exclaimed happily, stepping back to hold me out at arm's length. "Even more beautiful than the last time I saw you. Hasn't she mother?"

I blushed under everyone's gaze, especially my grandma's. She was a very perceptive woman, always keeping her eye on everyone, figuring them out within minutes. A lot of the family weren't big fans of her, some saying she was very hostile, other's saying she was very cheeky. Personally, I didn't know what to think of her since we hardly ever conversed before. So it was quite embarrassing to stand there, giving her precious time to watch me without it being rude.

"I'd say she has a story to tell us, being away from home for so long," grandma said, narrowing her eyes in my direction.

"Oh leave the girl alone, you don't expect her to sit around here with old people do you?" uncle Joe asked, before coming over to me and hugging me tightly.

The following hour flew by as my family and I all chatted enthusiastically about the series of events that occurred in our lives since we'd last seen each other. I mostly spoke of school and how I'd be done with it by the end of the following week, trying to keep a smile on my face the whole time when all I wanted to do was cry.

My mother put her fair share of words in, but conveniently left out how she and her high school sweetheart from Seattle were together at last. Well technically they were, I'd hear her speaking softly to him on the phone every now and then, and she always 'needed' to check her email. It was only a matter of time before she could finally be away from dad and be in the love of her life's arms once she left for Seattle.

I felt no happiness for her though, why? Because she felt no sadness for me.

It was depressing really, thinking of how close my mom and I could be if only she would take me a little more seriously.

"… pregnant? That's wonderful news! I bet she's thrilled with herself."

"Who's pregnant?" I asked, louder than I'd intended.

Aunt Mary smiled at me. "Your cousin Tamara."

"Oh… how far in is she?"

"This would be her fifth month."

"That's.. that's great. Really, really great."

Of course it was great for Tamara, a newlywed and twenty-three years of age. Her whole family would be happy for her and she'd probably throw a baby-bath, and tell everyone how exciting the whole experience was for her.

But me, Nina O'Neil? One word about my being pregnant and I'd be pulled into the kitchen by my mother. She'd be so shocked, so disappointed in me and probably tell me how my father was right from the beginning about Jacob. That he was nothing but bad news.

Life couldn't possibly get any worse.

Turns out everyone was staying the night so I gave up my room for grandma, while Joey gave his up for Mary and Joe. Which meant that we'd be camping in the living-room, not that I had a problem with that really. I was just hoping that Jacob could've come over and we could've talked some things through. Oh well.

That night as I finished up studying, grandma came out to join me on the front porch.

"Waiting for someone?" she asked, a gleam in her eye.

I laughed heartily. "Don't think so."

Taking a seat next to me on the wooden bench, she stared off into the distance. "Aren't you going to tell me _your_ story?"

"_My_ story?"

"Yes." Turning her face towards mine, she half-smiled. "Your life mustn't be as boring as you make it out to be. Not if you own a man's shirt."

My jaw dropped and face burned with mortification. I couldn't believe that after the half-hour clean up of my room, I managed to forget to put away his shirt. Not only that but I was so embarrassed with the amount of idea's that must've put into my grandma's head when the only reason I actually had possession of that article of clothing was because he had given to me… and that from time to time I wore it… because I missed him.

Fishing my mind for a response, I spoke _very_ slowly. "That shirt.. well um, he gave me it to, to keep.. eh, until he could take it back. We.. it's completely innocent, he-"

"Nina, you don't have to make up excuses. And certainly not in front of my face. All I asked was for you to tell me your story, the one you chose not to tell the other's. Now if you don't want to, I'll accept your decision. But I'm just wondering is all."

"I don't know where to start," I whispered, biting down on my lip.

"Who's the 'he' you speak of?"

"Oh that's Jacob…"

"A friend?"

"You could say that…"

"A lover?"

"I.. yeah…"

"Is he handsome?"

"Very…"

"Child, speak to me. I'm not here to judge you or to interrogate you. I'm here to listen to my granddaughter tell me about her first love. Now go on."

While thinking up a way to tell her about Jacob, I glanced across the road to the dark and misty woods. Just beyond the tree-line, I caught site of movement for just a second. But that didn't faze me, nothing could with everything on my mind. If someone was spying on me that was their silly idea, not mine. After all, it had to be one of the pack members.

So taking a deep breath, I turned to my grandma and spoke.

"I saw him for the very first time in my English class… our eyes met during one lesson….. he approached me after that….. we got talking…. I grew more and more attracted to him….. his personality drew me in….. he promised to fix up my car and he did….. the lines between our friendship blurred over the days, the weeks, the nights we spent together….. suddenly I fell in love with him….. he's so incredibly beautiful inside and out, grandma. I wish you could meet him before you go."

Her wrinkled hand covered mine which rested on my knee. "Why do I get the sense that I cannot possibly get to meet this young man?"

"Because." I looked up into her face, staring into her wise eyes. "Mom and dad disapprove. Especially dad, he hate's Jacob's guts, there's no way I'd ever invite him over here just to get verbally abused. It's so stupid, dad is convinced Jacob is ten years my senior and he's not, he just looks older than normal. He also thinks that Jacob's a poor, peasant boy with nothing to offer me in the world. I've given up on trying to get through to him, it's impossible."

"Your father is a foolish man, Nina. You could say he's closed-minded. I suppose he wants to lock you up in your room and keep you as pure as an angel until a rich man comes looking for your hand in marriage, if you see my point?"

I snorted. "Rich or poor, I'll always want Jacob. But yeah, I see your point."

"Maybe I could have a word with him-"

"No, no, no! That'd just anger him, and it wouldn't do with my situation. Not after how he accused Jacob of using me for his own pleasure. Only to be proved right…"

I trailed off, realizing that I was just about to break the news of my pregnancy to my seventy-year-old grandma who doesn't need to know about my problems.

"Your situation? Child, what situation? You're not in any trouble or danger are you?"

"No, it's nothing. Nothing at all." Jumping to my feet, I rushed to the open front door. Calling over my shoulder as I stepped inside. "Goodnight grandma, see you tomorrow."

* * *

Of course my unintentionally rude, abrupt departure from our conversation left my grandmother very confused. She watched me with narrow eyes the next morning and attempted to broach the subject whenever we made small talk, but I somehow managed to make up an excuse before she could finish her sentence.

It was during those hours that I began to wonder if I was showing any signs of pregnancy that might give the game away. I'd spent ages in my room with the door locked twice in front of a mirror, staring at my tummy. Though I couldn't notice anything different, I still worried whether other people could. Especially with eyes as big as saucers like my grandma's, watching my every move.

Although I knew it was bad of me to wish for, I hoped that my extended family were all leaving that evening and not staying another night.

As luck would have it, they were staying another night.

"I won't be sleeping in your room tonight, not after I was disturbed at three in the morning."

The sudden sound of her deep voice startled me. "W-What? Why? How?"

She walked into the living-room, taking a seat next to me on the sofa while everyone else remained in the kitchen laughing and joking amongst themselves.

"They were the very first words that left my mouth as I woke up from an unusually deep sleep." She chuckled lightly. "So I went over to take a peep out your window with caution and for just a second I thought I saw a man. I thought I was seeing things without my glasses when all of a sudden it hit me. It was your Jacob."

"He must've wanted…" I spoke to myself in a whisper, feeling very miserable that I hadn't been there for him when he needed me. There was so much we had to talk about, so much we had to discuss…

"You? Yes, of course he did, so I came down to let you know. But you were fast asleep and I couldn't wake you. I would've told you this sooner if you had been more willing to talk. I was getting the sense that you were feeling overwhelmed by my presence which is not how I ever intended to make you feel."

I shook my head, staring down at my feet. "That's not the reason. I've just been feeling down and confused. Really confused."

"Haven't you got anyone to confide in? a friend perhaps?"

"I do, but she wouldn't understand. No one would."

"Not even Jacob?"

"Except him…"

"Why don't you talk to him then? It'll help."

"I can't talk to him," I said, looking over at her. "We kind of fell out yesterday evening."

A strange look crossed her face. "He didn't _do_ that to you, did he?"

"Do what?" I asked, completely bewildered.

She gestured to my shoulder. "Looks fresh enough, though more animal-like. Then again, the male species is often compared to the beast."

If I could've smacked myself right then and there, I would have. That was the second (after forgetting to put away Jacob's shirt) stupid thing I had done. How could I have worn a t-shirt while bearing the scars of a wolf's claw? How could I have forgotten the whole Nick Fox/Edward Cullen incident in a day? Why didn't I put a fresh bandage on? What was wrong with me?

I was lucky it didn't hurt.

"Jacob would never hurt me," I told her, leaving out the word 'unintentionally'.

She nodded slowly in response.

"It's a long story, but I'm fine. Really." I added.

"Good, you wouldn't want to be getting any infections. Especially _now_."

"No…" I trailed off, wondering if she meant what I thought she meant.

"Moving wouldn't do you any good either."

I looked away from her. "I'm not moving."

"Oh?"

"I'm staying with Jacob."

Normally, I wouldn't have said that out straight. But there was something oddly familiar about my grandma that had words flowing out of my mouth unchecked. I felt, somehow, that she understood me and that she could offer me words of advice since no one else could. After all, I was so tired of talking to myself and having no one to talk me through certain things. Jacob wasn't always right, I couldn't always turn to him.

"Nina, look at me for a minute." So I did and found her shaking her head sadly. "You haven't thought much through your decisions, have you?"

"My thoughts aren't always so brilliant, no matter how _much_ I think."

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Alright, let's see. You say you're staying here with Jacob. Where exactly?"

"His house…"

"Oh, he owns a house?"

"Well no-"

She smiled. "Thought so. You think you can just move into a house without asking the owner?"

"But Billy wouldn't mind…"

"Billy's the father, I assume? Well first of all, you'd have to ask him personally. Then you'd have to think about your future. Like how your quality of life would be like living there, how much of Billy and Jacob you could put up with over the weeks, where you would be sleeping. Don't tell me Billy would approve of you and Jacob sharing a bed?"

I bit my lip. "I doubt he would, but I could take the couch-"

"A couch? Really? For how long, Nina? A year? Two maybe? More? And what about your future? How can you ever find yourself a good job with good money if you throw away college to be with Jacob under the worst circumstances? Wouldn't you want to succeed in life? And then hopefully buy yourself a house? That way you and Jacob could finally be together and things would be much more smoother. Much more acceptable. Completely right. You would have everything; the education, the money, the man."

And I loved the thought of that, I really did. Everything she'd said to me was so true, there wasn't any room for an argument. I was seeing the small picture, while she was seeing the big one. The more realistic one. The one I intentionally kept avoiding because my heart said so. But I couldn't ignore it any longer. I couldn't ignore what was right and what was in my best interest. And I wouldn't.

The only problem was… my pregnancy.

My mother decided to barge into the living-room at that moment to fetch my grandma, a broad smile on her usually glum face. A sign that she had been drinking more than she should've been.

"Think about everything I said," grandma whispered to me as she stood up. "Think long and hard."

* * *

I did think long and hard that night when my pregnancy was confirmed by a test I'd bought discreetly at the local chemist. I thought until there was nothing else to think of and then I lay upon my bed. Wondering how I was caught up in such a situation.

The only reason I could come up with, was that the condom must've broke.

My head throbbed with all the thinking and worrying I was doing, and continued to throb for the following days. Grandma Beth must've noticed the state I was in because when she- along with my uncle and aunt- left for Seattle, I was wrapped up in one of the most caring hugs I'd ever gotten. I'd be eternally grateful for the kindness she offered me during her stay.

At school, it was extremely difficult to focus on my finals when my mind was a million miles away, but somehow I managed to do fairly well and hoped that I'd get decent grades.

As for Kara, I hadn't seen much of her since she was practically locked up in her room, forced to study as hard as she could by her parents. All they wanted was for her to pass with flying colors so that she could finally get out of La Push and find a better life for herself out there. And I hoped she would.

Nick Fox was as shady as ever, constantly giving me sheepish looks every time we were within each other's presence. I was extremely mad at him for what he'd done to Jacob, but I decided that reporting him wouldn't do any good. Considering I didn't have any evidence. Though I was quite sure he wouldn't be wandering the woods again, not after being caught.

Jacob, on the other hand, was being very distant.

He never approached me while we were at school, never called me when we were apart and never returned to my back yard to throw pebbles at my window. It was as if we never knew each other. To say I was hurt by that would be understatement, I was devastated.

I felt so rejected and I felt so very alone. Was he avoiding me because of the little falling out we had at his place? or even worse, because I was pregnant? This thought especially, drove me insane. That whenever I was in my father's presence, I began to think that he was right about Jacob. That what we had was all fake. That he was just using me and that he didn't want me anymore because I was with-child.

"Mommy, when are we leaving?" Joey asked one day during dinner.

"Two weeks from now, honey."

And you know what? I wasn't upset or angry. I just accepted it and later that day when I retired to my room, I even took out my suitcase and began throwing things into it. But stopped when I came across Jacob's jeans. The one's I took off of him that night when he was burning up. The night he was so hungry for my love after his Spiritual Journey.

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

The day we all finished our finals, Kara and a group of students we were acquainted with, all decided that it'd be a good idea for us to head out and grab a bite somewhere. Of course, I loved the idea since I was in desperate need of socialization and agreed to meet up with them at Forks Diner.

"Well, well, well, who look's hot tonight!"

I laughed in spite of my feelings and gave Kara a quick hug. "I could say the same about you."

In truth, I looked as casual as casual can be; dressed in a plain lilac shirt, faded jeans with my hair left loose to complete the look. But Kara looked fantastic; wearing a fitted knee-length dress (maroon in color), her waist-long hair falling in ringlets down her back and a face full of fabulous make-up. Not to mention the black heels which exaggerated her already tall physic, making her look like a supermodel. Something I could never be.

We were the first to arrive, securing a booth down the end of the Diner which turned out to be a good spot once the other's arrived, considering all the talking and laughing we'd been doing.

I felt at ease with them, all my worries flying away as I found myself more and more absorbed in every conversation. It felt like I'd gone back in time to the pre-Jacob me, the one that knew nothing about love or the existence of mythical creatures. The one that lived life through every day as a normal teenager with normal teenager problems. An easy life really.

"So guys," Kara started. "I have an announcement to make."

"Go on," a guy named Leo said.

We all waited in anticipation as her eyes sparkled with delight. "I'm totally and completely over Nick 'The Douche' Fox!"

The group erupted into a series of cheers and hoots, a feeling of utter joy overtaking the air. Kara's news wasn't anything serious of course, but it was good to hear and funny too. Besides she didn't deserve a guy like him and he didn't deserve to ever know how big her crush really was.

"Well I have an announcement to make too," Leo told us.

This time, I said. "Go on."

"I'm gay."

For a moment we all stared at him, wondering how he felt about revealing his well kept secret. But seeing as he didn't have one problem with it, we all cheered and raised our glass's.

"Here's to being honest and open," Kara said at the top of her voice. "And to being gay and over a douche and-"

"I actually um." I bit my lip, glancing from each set of the eight pairs of eyes that landed upon me. "Have an announcement to make."

"Well, go on then." Kara smiled.

"I'm… pregnant."

The longest silence followed my revelation and for a second I wondered if they thought that what I'd just told them was terrible, but after a minute each and every one of them congratulated me. Kara being the emotional girl she was, wrapped me up in a back-breaking hug and cried into my shoulder, telling me that I'd get through it and that she'd always be there for me.

I would've cried myself, but it had been such a long time since I was shown such love that I suddenly felt overjoyed. A broad smile plastered onto my lately miserable face.

Leo stood up. "Here's to being gay, being over a douche and being pregnant!"

That night had been so good, so enjoyable that I never wanted it to end. Unfortunately it eventually did, but we promised each other that we'd hang out the day we graduated. Which managed to lighten my spirit a little.

Waving goodbye to everyone, I headed towards my car and stopped in my tracks when I reached the trunk. There across the road from me, stood Jacob in all his half-naked glory, watching from the shadows as he stood by the tree-line. My first instinct was to run to him, but then I remembered his avoiding me for a whole nine days and I rushed to the driver's door.

By the time I'd finally gotten the door unlocked, he was behind me. One of his large hands holding the door closed as he spoke against my ear. "Care to explain why you've been ignoring me?"

I almost laughed out loud at his statement, almost. Instead, I pushed at his hand, though unsurprisingly it didn't budge. In fact this only pissed him off and his pressure increased, leaving a dent in the door. Much to my irritation, however I never said a word.

"Answer me, god dammit!" he hissed.

But I remained silent and would until he let me get into the car.

Letting out a shaky, frustrated breath, he asked. "Who were those people you were hanging with? Are they the reason why you're ignoring me? Are they more important to you than I am? Huh? Tell me, Nina."

As I decided, I remained as still and as silent as a statue.

"Fine!" he spat, hand curling into a fist. "You don't even want to talk to me, that's just fantastic. So fantastic that you'll only have to see me for another week and then you'll be leaving for Seattle. I'm sure you must be _thrilled_."

"Let me go," I whispered, forgetting my decision.

"Oh, she speaks," he said sarcastically. "Well if that's all you've got to say then let me leave you with a few words." Moving closer so that his front was pressed flush against my back, he pressed his lips to my ear. "You may hate me, you may want to ignore me, you may want to forget me, but a part of me is growing inside of you. A part of me that we made sure of wouldn't, but somehow still managed to happen. Doesn't that prove anything to you?"

My whole body was shaking at that stage, eyes stinging with unshed tears. His words effecting me in way's I thought weren't possible.

"Doesn't it prove that that's what we're supposed to be doing? Making love constantly and having lot's and lot's of babies, puppies, whatever you want to call them. Doesn't it? doesn't it show you that you need to stay here with me? And that we're capable of having children at a young age? Doesn't it, Nee?"

"I thought-" a sob broke through my throat, cutting me off.

He finally removed his hand from the door and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me impossibly closer. "Doesn't it prove anything to you, Nee? We've only ever made love once and here you are, all pregnant for me? not only that, but we used protection. There was nothing wrong with that condom, I swear to you. But somehow my-" he lowered his voice, lips still pressed to my ear, "-my semen escaped. I know we're young, but I'm so happy, Nee. I'm so in love with you. Please don't be mad at me or your bodily state, please. I'll care for you and the baby, I'll love it just as much as I love you, I'll protect and love you forever. Nee, I want to make love to you now _so_ badly. Please come home with me tonight. I miss you."

I fainted in his arms then, from the overload of emotions that were running through me and when I woke up again, I was in his tiny bed. He was laying beside me, gently running a damp cloth down the side of my face, a dazed look in his brown eyes.

In a series of whispers, he told me that Billy was staying over at the Clearwater's, that I was out for quite a while and that he loved me so very much.

It wasn't long after that when we became one again, for the second time in our lives.

* * *

Later that night as I lay against his heaving chest, I reveled in the way he felt and smiled to myself when I remembered all the breathless words he'd spoken to me during his most vulnerable state. Just like after our first time, I couldn't imagine being away from him and found myself clinging closer to him than I normally did.

He had no idea how relieved I was about his accepting my pregnancy. After a whole week of thinking he despised the idea. It managed to soothe me in a way I couldn't explain and I suddenly felt overjoyed. One-hundred times more than I had at the Diner.

But I still had a question for him.

"Jake?"

"Hmm," he murmured in response, trailing his hand down my back.

"Why did you avoid me for so long?"

"I thought you were avoiding me, actually."

"How so?"

"Because I called on you one night but an old lady was staying in your room, I supposed she would've told someone she saw me and that you'd know I wanted to speak to you. But you never phoned, or approached me, so I just assumed you didn't want to talk to me for some reason."

Frowning, I lifted my head up off his chest and stared down at him. "But you were mad at me that night I came to see you. The night I told you I was pregnant."

"I wasn't," he said nonchalantly. "I was confused and stressed. Really stressed. And then you had to go when we badly needed to talk, so I wasn't too happy about that."

"You know… I thought you didn't want the baby," I whispered.

Breath catching in his throat, he stared at me for a minute before cupping my cheek in his palm. "Nina, I… when you left me alone that night, I spent hours laying here, thinking over everything. But even then I could feel how my heart leapt with excitement and joy at the news. I was also very proud for some reason, and had this sudden urge to just go out and tell everyone that I was having a baby with you. Then I thought better of it…" he smiled.

I smiled in return. "Well I'm glad someone was happy with the news."

"What do you mean?" he asked, narrowing his eyes to slits. "You want the baby too, right?"

"I do, Jake, I do, I really do… but the timing is wrong, you have to admit that."

"Wrong? Why? We're both capable of raising a child, and it's not like we're going anywhere."

"But Jake." I sighed, shaking my head. "We're young, we've just finished school and we haven't got a job, or even… Jake, you see my point right? Tell me you do."

Moving to sit upright against the headboard, he crossed his arms over his broad chest. "No, I don't actually. So what if we're young or just out of high school or jobless or whatever, we're capable of parenting a child. We don't need to be ten years older, we'll be together forever anyway. It's not like if your friend Kara had a child for some moron who'll never be a part of her life. It's not like that at all."

"What if…" pushing myself up, I threw a leg over his hip and sat down against his thighs, facing him. "Jacob, what if I…"

"What if you what?"

"What if I _have_ to go to Seattle, then what?"

His eyes widened, a fire suddenly blazing in them. "You promised me you wouldn't go!" he barked.

"I know I did, and I won't ever leave you. As in my heart will always be yours-"

"Don't give me that bullshit, Nina! You promised me the first time we made love that you wouldn't ever leave me. Don't tell me that was a lie."

"It wasn't a lie, I was telling the truth to you then, but I was vulnerable Jacob, I wasn't thinking straight and I wasn't pregnant. I've thought things through now and I've decided that I don't want to end up living here with Billy. Not that I dislike him, he's really great, but it wouldn't be right. You know it wouldn't."

His head fell back against the wall, a breath leaving his lips as he shut his eyes. I noticed then, that the color of his skin had turned a shade lighter and that his breathing became labored. He looked so worn out, so devastated, so torn…

"Jake?" I whispered, pressing my palm to his cheek. "Jake, love, are you OK?"

A tear escaped his closed eye, rolling down his high cheekbone, followed quickly by another one and another one and another one. Until both his cheeks were wet with tears.

"Please stop crying, Jake," I begged, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face against his shoulder. "Please, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that, I love you so much. More than I can say. I hate to see you cry, please stop. I love you, Jacob."

But he pushed me away and slipped out of the bed, walking out of the room to leave me alone.

Minutes later I threw on one of his large shirts and followed after him, hoping he would be alright. The guilt for making him feel such a way ate at me, and I searched my mind for ways to make it up to him. To make him feel better. The only way was obviously telling him that I'd stay with him forever and ever, but I wouldn't lie. Staying here with him was all I ever wanted, however I couldn't live with him and Billy. I just couldn't.

Firstly, it wouldn't be the right thing to do. Considering how tiny the house was and how little privacy we'd have. Secondly, I was going to grow bigger with our child and living under the standards the tiny house would offer me, wouldn't be proper. That was something I simply couldn't do.

Yes, over the months I had sworn to myself that I'd live with Jacob anywhere. Even out on the streets as long as we were together. But back then I hadn't got a clue I was pregnant and ever since I'd found out, I had to see things for what they really were.

As much as I loathed and despised the idea of leaving him… as much as it broke my heart. It would only be for a while though, wouldn't it? Until we got ourselves jobs and found an apartment to rent. A matter of weeks even.

Walking out into the chilly night air, I headed over to the 'garage'. It had changed considerably since he had been working on it, almost looking like a cottage. The wooden walls of the exterior had been painted a coffee-like color and the roof had had some work done to it. Unfortunately, the doors and windows remained the same. Old and cracked.

If only he hadn't lost his job.

The inside was dark, except for the dim glow of a candle on a worktop in the far corner. I couldn't make out much of everything, but I could see Jacob down the end of the large room, crouching as he painted something. An old shirt tied around his waist, covering his nudity.

I walked over to him slowly and stood behind him for a moment, watching the muscles on his back work with every movement of his arm. I watched until I couldn't take it anymore and rushed over to him, running my hands all along his front as I showered his back with kisses. The taste and smell of his skin driving me wild with passion.

"Jacob, mmm Jacob," I murmured, rubbing my cheek over his shoulder blade.

Sucking in a sharp breath, he froze. The painting brush falling from his hands.

My hands trailed down over his hard abs, slipping lower until my fingertips brushed the soft cotton of his shirt, which he had tied it around his waist for decency. It was then that he pushed my hands away.

"Stop," he whispered finally.

"Please, Jacob. Please, make love to me again," I begged, resting my forehead against his shoulder. "I don't want to fight with the one I love, it kills me. Let's just forget the world tonight and make lots of love. I need you, Jake. Please? I'm sorry for hurting you."

He sighed. "Nina-"

"I'll make tonight about you, I'll make sure you get everything you want. I'll take pleasure from that, pleasing the one I love. You, Jacob. We'll stay here if that's what you'd prefer, I'll do anything for you-"

Turning around, he grabbed my face in his hands. "I will never get pleasure from making love to you, knowing that I won't be able to touch you again," he hissed, eyes red from crying. "And if there's no pleasure from the heart, then we'd be fucking. And I never want to fuck you. Never! You hear me?"

I answered him automatically, too shocked to think. "Yes."

"Good," was all he said before he stood up to his full height and disappeared from sight.

It took me a moment to regain composure and when I did, I jumped up to my feet and spun around to glare at him through teary eyes. But he never raised his head, instead he continued to examine each paint can in the near-darkness, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

My blood boiled to see him more interested in painting whatever it was he had made and I glanced over my shoulder to see what it was he'd been painting when I came in.

And just like that, my blood ran cold and my face paled in shock.

He'd made a wooden crib for our baby.

I couldn't look at it for another second, it was breaking my heart to know that he'd made that with his own bare hands, in his own free time. No matter how many fights we had, there was always something to remind me of how good-hearted he was and that was definitely top of the list.

A sob escaped my lips as I turned to look at him again and I was surprised to find him leaning against the worktop, looking back at me. His dark eyes darker than I'd ever seen them before. Watching me carefully.

Unable to take the whole situation anymore, I ran out of the garage and back into the house. In his room, I searched around for my clothes all scattered around the place, but my tears never subsided and so due to my shaking body and blurry vision, I gave up. Crawling back into his single bed and burying my face in his pillow.

His musky smell soothing me as I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

That night I was woken up by a person slipping in next to me and soft lips pressing against my temple. The warmth, the scent, the feel, all confirming it was Jacob.

His strong arm hooked under my knee, lifting my leg up and within seconds, he took me from behind.

"Nee-na," he moaned softly into my ear. His long, silky hair falling into my face.

And I wondered if this was what he'd referred to as 'fucking'.

Despite how it felt a lot like love.


	24. Stay

**Chapter 24: Stay**

Eye's half open, I stared up at the ceiling and wished for just a second that there was a mirror there. A mirror to show me the right path. Because I was sick of my own voice telling me what to do, not knowing whether it was speaking the truth.

Jacob's arms tightened around my waist, as though he knew I was awake and was afraid I'd leave him. Which was certainly not what I was going to do. Not after what had transpired between us at three in the morning. I'd tried so hard to keep quiet as he moaned into my ear, but eventually had to let out my emotions when he brought me over the edge. Making sure he was hitting _just_ the right spot.

It was quick, I admit. But pleasured both of us more than I could say.

Turning in his arms, I opened my eyes fully and stared into his tired ones. We stared at each other for what felt like forever. Rays of sunlight peaking in through the curtains, reflecting off of his face which was now rough with stubble. I wished I woke up in his arms this way _every_ morning.

"I love you," I whispered, running my hand down his side.

He nodded in response, before loosening his hold on me and rolling onto his back. A hostile vibe running off of him onto me.

"Jacob, tell me you love me too," I said softly, sliding closer to him and resting my cheek on his bicep.

But he never said a word, remaining silent for the following three minutes.

"If you hate me, I'll understand…" I mumbled.

And yet again, he remained completely silent. Not a sound escaping his lips.

I took that as a hint that he didn't want to talk, well not then anyway. So I moved away from him and turned on my side, feeling hurt, worried and hopeful all at the same time. My head throbbed from all the emotions, causing me to feel slightly dizzy. Which in turn, made me close my eyes.

However, I desperately wanted to know what was on Jacob's mind. He hadn't spoken to me since we'd been in the garage the day before and I was very concerned about his feelings. Why, after what we'd done only hours ago, was he still so intent on not speaking to me?

I turned to face him, to find that his back was now to me. His silky hair brushing off of his tanned shoulders as he breathed heavily, body shivering every once in a while. The tattoo he'd engraved into his arm catching my attention.

Leaning up, I pressed a kiss to it before following the design with my lips. Remembering that he'd gotten it done as a sign of our love. This only spurred me on, and suddenly my hand was on his naked hip, massaging the tight skin there.

Still, he kept his mouth shut. Much to my utter disappointment.

"Was that all it was, Jacob?" I asked him sadly. "Just a quick… fuck?"

I didn't wait for him to answer me, instead I slipped out of the bed and left the room. Walking around the house in his large shirt didn't feel appropriate, so I just hoped that Billy wouldn't be back any time soon. Because I certainly didn't want to go back into that bedroom for my clothes, not after leaving the way I did.

Suddenly, the front door opened.

"Oh hey, Nina! Sorry for barging in, didn't know you were here."

Standing awkwardly in the hall, I offered him a weak smile. "It's uh, fine Quil."

"Aw don't go all red, this-" he gestured to my attire, "-is nothing to what I see in the minds of the pack. Trust me."

"Good…"

"Anyway, bet you're all excited for graduation tomorrow."

"Um yeah… kind of."

He nodded before sniffing the air like a… dog. "No food? Damn. Certainly no surprise treats here." Sticking his tongue out at me playfully, he continued. "So where's Jacob? Laying in his king sized bed?"

I chuckled, despite my mortification. "Yeah, head on into him. Maybe he'll talk to you…"

Shooting me a sympathetic look, he walked past me and disappeared into the bedroom.

For a moment, I remained still, wondering whether he would indeed speak to Quil. But the sudden roars of him, followed by several bangs and clashes, had me jumping out of my skin with fright. He sounded incredibly angry.

Quil came running out of the room with a look of shock on his face. "Dude's gone mental," he said. "You be careful around him."

And then he was gone.

My whole body trembled as I contemplated checking on him. Nothing good could come of it, he was like a wild beast and no one goes near a beast. No one. Not even if you're madly in love with said beast and would do anything for him. It was a danger zone and I hadn't forgotten the countless times he told me to keep away from him if he was ever out of control.

So I made myself comfortable in the living room, curling up on the sofa as I thought and thought and thought.

But it was only a matter of time before I couldn't take the silence anymore and I found myself heading back down the hall, towards his room.

When I entered, the first thing my eyes landed on was him. He was curled up into a ball on the tiny bed, forehead pressed to his knees and long hair shielding the side of his face from me. His body quivered slightly and I wondered, briefly, whether he was cold. Then I remembered how angry he had been.

Tip-toeing my way over to the bed, careful not to prick my foot with the broken pieces of his phone and a shattered picture frame, I sat down on the edge. This didn't seem to faze him, so I decided to speak softly.

"J-"

"Get out," he gritted through clenched teeth.

Taken aback by the harshness of his voice, I stood back up. "What's the matter with you?"

"I said, get out!" he repeated, raising his voice.

"Don't.. don't talk to me like that, Jacob…"

He took that moment to uncurl himself from his ball and pounce off the bed, eyes blazing as he stood in front of me. "Leave, or else."

"Are you.. threatening me?" I asked faintly.

But he ignored my question and brushed past me, locking the bedroom door.

I knew that he was angry and upset with me and my decisions. And I knew that he was overreacting. I also knew that he wasn't particularly safe to be around, but I couldn't help myself. I had to have some sort of physical contact with him. It was a want I couldn't ignore.

"Jacob," I whispered, coming up behind him as he stood facing the door. Wrapping my arms around his waist and showering his back with kisses. "Jacob, I love you. So much."

"Stop," he told me, though I could hear the longing in his voice.

"Don't fight with me anymore, Jake. _Please_."

The muscles in his body tightened and he stood rigid in front of me. Hands balled into fists at his sides. It seemed as though he was fighting an inner battle with myself, when all he had to do was give in. There was no harm in moving forward, was there? we still had to talk things through.

Tightening my arms around him, I brought myself closer to him until there wasn't a centimeter between us. His shoulder blades were right within my eye-level and buried my face in the space between them, breathing him in, kissing him, caressing him with my lips like he loved. Forgetting the world, focusing only on him.

Moving to his side, I peered up into his face. "Jake, I'm sorry I upset you. Forgive me."

He bit down on his lip and turned his face away, remaining mute.

"And I'm sorry about earlier.. I know you didn't… you know, fuck me last night. I was just mad, I'm sorry."

Suddenly, he spun around to glare down at me. Making me feel so little. "You think I'm upset?" he asked, irritated. "You think that accusing me of using you like some jerk would upset me? well let me tell you this." bending down so that our faces were level, he continued. "I told you in the garage last night that I would never ever fuck you and unlike you, I kept my word. I'll always keep my word. In fact everything I say to you is the honest truth and when I make promises, I never break them. So take that as a lesson. Because you certainly need it. Lying won't get you anywhere in life."

As he was about to straighten up, I grabbed a lock of his hair and kept him in place. "I never lied to you, how can you… I know I promised you I would never leave you and I intend to keep that promise. But that doesn't mean I can't be _away_ from you for a while. What do you expect me to do? Stay here with you and your father-"

"We never said anything about you staying here with me and my dad!" he shouted.

"But it's obvious that this is where I'd stay if I weren't to leave! Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're wrong!"

"Oh really? Am I? where else did you have in mind? Your car? Your back yard? The garage?"

"I'm that low to you? You think that I'd make you live in such an awful way? You're wrong again, so wrong that I'm disgusted with you. Get out of my house and _don't_ come back."

"And go where?"

"Seattle, I never want to see your face again."

"You're lying."

"No."

"You'd follow me and beg me to come back. Say you would."

"No."

"Say you love me."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'd be lying."

And with that, I let go of his black hair and walked away from him. Holding back my tears as I pulled on my clothes. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time and I would've asked for privacy if I could've found it in me to. But instead, I kept quiet.

Why did we always have to fight lately? I asked myself. Why couldn't we be happy like before? It felt like our love was shattering and that if we didn't put back the pieces, we'd never be able to love like the beginning. I wasn't stupid enough to think that relationships were always peachy, but I was aware of the fact that I was Jacob's imprint and that we should be happy. Like Sam and Emily. Like Jared and Kim…

When I turned to leave, I drew my eyes to the ground and proceeded towards the door. His words stopped me in my tracks.

"I doubt you still love me now," he said, confident that he was right.

"Actually," I replied, looking over at him. "_You're_ wrong this time."

I moved to unlock the door, but his hand grasped my wrist. "Stay."

"No."

"Please."

"No, Jacob."

"Come on, please."

"Why?" I asked. "So you can tell me how much you detest me at the moment?"

His eyes softened. "Because I love you."

I sighed, turning my face away from him. "Jacob…"

"Please, we've only got one week left together."

"Oh so now you realize that?" I spat out angrily, snapping my head around to glare at him. "After ignoring me and then hurting my feelings the whole morning, after all that? after all the love I gave you and after all the times you rejected it, after all of that! you expect-"

Releasing my wrist, he grabbed a hold of my tiny shoulders and stared down into my face. "I'm passionate for you, okay? When I'm upset with you or hurt by you, it effects me in a very strong way. You hurt me last night by telling me that you were leaving, breaking that promise you made and you saw how I reacted to that. But after a while I felt bad, so I came to you and soothed my soul by making love to you. Then when I woke up the next morning, you told me you loved me and I couldn't take it, not with knowing that you were going to leave me."

"Jake-"

"Tell me how long you'll be, please. I need to know so I can have something to live by."

"I… I don't know…"

"Please," he pleaded, sinking down to his knees. His hands sliding down my chest, over my breasts and resting on my tummy. "Please, just give me an answer. It doesn't need to be precise."

I looked towards the ceiling, eyes filling with tears. "At the most… three months."

He groaned miserably. "That's so long, Nee."

"But long enough to sort ourselves out right? To find employment and look for accommodation we can afford, right?" I brought my gaze back down to him, forcing a smile on my face. "Then we can we be together and we'll never have to go through that again."

"I know that, Nee, but still- it's going to be hard for me to cope without you," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to him, so that his cheek rested against my chest. "And I'm going to miss you grow bigger with our baby, I don't like the thought of that."

"Of course, Jake, of course."

"And who's going to protect such a fragile, little woman like yourself? All pregnant and alone out there. I _hate_ the thought of that so god damned much."

I hated the thought too, it was all that ran through my head every day. To live a life without Jacob by my side seemed almost scary to me, and to go back to Seattle- not as the girl who used to live there, but as a woman. A woman that had been through many changes since she'd stepped foot in La Push. I'd grown so accustomed to my new life that I didn't know if I was ready for change.

The only way I'd be able to handle being away from Jacob is if we both managed to get ourselves jobs with decent wages and saved up until we were sure we could afford to rent a place. It wasn't like before, when it was just the two of us and money didn't matter as long as we had food. We were having a baby soon and things had to be _much_ better than that.

It was all so stressful and my parents.. my family.. they had no idea about the pregnancy… it was going to be so hard.

"Forget about the world, Nee," he said softly, raising back up to his feet and taking my hand in his. "It's just you and me, right here, right now."

"Oh Jacob," I whimpered, helplessly. "I'm so afraid, so, so afraid."

"I know, honey." Taking me into his arms, he repeated. "I know."

* * *

When the day of graduation came, I couldn't feel a thing. It was as though my whole body had gone numb and I was left a shell of myself. Everything I did that morning was done in slow motion, like I was some sort of robot, programmed to do the things Nina O'Neil herself did.

I tried to smile for my family as I breakfasted with them. I tried to be happy for Kara as she picked me up in her truck. And I tried to put meaning into every hug and kiss I gave Jacob as he met me at school. But I couldn't, it was impossible for me to do. Impossible.

You see, this was the day which marked a new beginning to my life. A life away from La Push and a life temporarily without Jacob. Temporary sounded good to me in the beginning, considering it meant that it wouldn't be forever, but then I realized that it could mean a year or more. And a year without Jacob was a terrifying thought.

So the whole event passed by me like a blur, and I couldn't really comprehend the fact that I graduated until my parents hugged me. Expressing how happy and proud they were of their daughter, telling me that I'd thrive in college. The tears flowed from my eyes then and suddenly I was sobbing like a child in my mother's arms. Only she didn't know the real reason for my crying.

Fifteen minutes later I found myself sitting on a bench away from everyone, my parents gone home with a promise of a delicious meal later that evening. My eyes burned with all the tears I'd shed, and my body still shaking from the aftermath. I was a mess.

"Nee?"

I looked up from my lap to stare into that beloved face. "Hi, Jake."

He looked miserable himself, except somehow he managed to remain in good spirits. "Come on." Reaching for my hand, he pulled me gently to my feet. "I want to take you somewhere."

Assumedly, I thought he would've taken me far away from the school, away from everyone. But much to my surprise he took me into the building, down past our lockers and towards our English class. Making me remember my first day there.

"Do you remember the first time you saw me?" he asked as we stopped by the open classroom door.

I managed to smile. "Of course, I'll never forget that day."

"Well," he started, giving my hand a squeeze. "How about we relive that moment, except this time I see you too. And we'll see where it goes?"

"I… okay, I guess."

As sweet as this was, I couldn't help but feel a little shy. We'd never really done anything like it before and I was afraid I'd mess the whole thing up. Looking wretched didn't help.

Jacob seemed to notice this in my expression. "Don't look so nervous, honey. It's just for the fun, kay?"

So he walked into the classroom and sat down at his desk, which was right next to mine in the far end of the room. I noticed then how much older looking he'd gotten and how much happier he looked compared to the first time I saw him. However, he was good at putting on the 'oblivious schoolboy' act and I smiled at the sight of him, my heart swelling with love.

Before I chickened out, I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

"Good morning," I said, holding back a laugh.

Jacob didn't bother looking up at me, instead stared down at his desk as though it was the most interesting thing in the world. I sighed audibly, in an attempt to sound desperate for his attention. The corners of his mouth twitched, yet his expression remained serious. So I muttered under my breath and headed for my desk. Slumping into the seat like I always did.

I waited and waited and waited for him to ask me something, like when he'd spoken to me for the first time and asked me for a pencil. But he didn't, so I turned to look at him and found him watching me. A dazed look on his face.

"Are you okay?" I asked, literally dying to laugh.

"Not with you being so close to me, I'm not." He smiled, flashing his pearly whites. "Tell me, honey, what's your name?"

"Right…" I slowly stood up to my feet. "I need to um… go to the bathroom."

As I began to walk away, biting down hard on my lip to hold back my laughter, he caught hold of my wrist and pulled me down onto his lap. "Well, well, well, where do you think you're going?"

Our faces were so close that I almost forgot the whole 'acting' thing. "Let me go."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, honey. By the way-" he pressed his nose to my cheek, "-you smell divine. Umm."

"Jacob, you're acting like a freaky stalker." I chuckled.

He shushed me. "We're not done."

"Okay, well um whoever you are, I'm going to report you to the principal if you don't let me go."

"Oh really?" wrapping his arms around my waist, he held me tightly against him. "Even after that breathy sigh you gave me minutes ago?"

Pushing away from him, I jumped off his lap and sat back down at my desk. "We're doing this my way now, since you clearly have a freaky way of playing yourself."

He stuck his tongue out at me. "I thought I sounded pretty sexy to be honest."

"Pfft, just sit there and I'll do most of the acting this time. Alright?"

"Anything for you, dearest."

So we sat at our desks for a while, him staring over at the board and me staring over at him. I brought myself back to that day when I'd first seen him and how overcome I was by his beauty. There were so many things I would've loved to tell him then, like how much I loved his strong jaw bone and how magnificent his hair looked. But of course I couldn't, or he would've thought I was a complete psycho.

However, I could do just that while we were acting. Couldn't I?

"Excuse me," I whispered, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Yes?" he smiled.

"I just wanted to tell you how much I love your hair, it's really something else. Out of this world. So soft, so shiny."

Somehow he managed to blush. "You know… you can touch it if you want. See if it's as soft as you think."

I was up off my seat and behind his in an instant, running my fingers through his raven locks. The minty scent of his shampoo traveling up through my nostrils. "I want your hair, Jacob."

"It's yours, honey."

Moving his hair to one side so that it fell over his shoulder, I whispered in his ear. "You're to react to me the way you would've, before we were friends or lovers, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, voice hoarse.

My lips brushed his jaw, the shaven skin so smooth, so silky. The strong scent of his cologne making me dizzy. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding onto him so that I could kiss him as hard as I wanted to. And hard was always how I kissed him when I was overcome with passion.

"Nina, what are you.. doing?"

I smirked, moving my lips to the nape of his neck. "Feeling you, kissing you. Why?"

He gulped audibly. "I think that maybe you should… you know.. stop."

"But I-"

"No really, stop."

Chuckling, my hands moved down his chest and into his shirt. "You're so muscular, Jacob Black."

"Nina!"

"Jacob," I murmured and kissed his neck again and again and again.

"Right, that's it!" he said, jumping out of his seat and pushing me up against the wall. "No more role-playing, I can't do it."

"Well it was your idea." I giggled.

"Yeah, but I've changed my mind now. Kiss me."

I turned my face away when he leaned in. "Not here, I hate this place."

Ignoring me, he began to peck my cheek. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Take me away, Jacob."

"Where?" he asked, pushing his muscular leg between mine.

"Anywhere but here."

He stepped away from me then, giving me a mischievous look before turning on his heel and walking towards the door. When I realized what he was about to do, I opened my mouth to protest but he just laughed and locked us in. Making me feel somewhat nervous about getting caught.

With a devilish grin on his face, he pulled off his shirt and threw it over his shoulder, carelessly. Revealing his ripped body to me, knowing I loved whenever it was on display. Especially when his jeans hung dangerously low off his hips…

"Stay away from me, you monster," I said, taking a few steps away as he came closer. "I know what you're trying to do."

"Oh? And what is that, dearest?"

"You're trying to seduce me."

"You've got that wrong, honey. _You're_ trying to seduce _me_, I can smell you a mile away." he winked.

"I hate you."

"I love you too."

I ran away from him then, towards the front of the classroom, somehow managing to unlock the door and stumble out, all in the space of ten seconds. Jacob obviously let me do it, laughing as he ran after me down the school corridor. Whether he was still shirtless, I had no idea, I just hoped we wouldn't be caught behaving like two first graders.

As I turned to run down the steps that lead to the campus, I lost my balance and fell face-first on the ground. The shock of the fall caused me to temporarily forget about the pain, but only seconds later I felt the sharp sting on my forehead and the warm rush of blood seeping from the deep cut.

"Nina!" Jacob gasped worriedly. Rushing over to me and lifting me to my feet. "What happened? Did you fall? Did someone push you? Are you okay?"

"I f-fell," I mumbled, swaying with a sudden dizziness that overcame me. My eyes unable to remain open.

As one hand held onto my shoulder to keep me from falling, the other fell to my tummy and remained there for a while. That's when I remembered about our baby and how my fall could've threatened the pregnancy.

I broke out into a panic, ignoring my dizziness and pain. "The baby! Jacob! The baby! Oh my god! Jacob!"

"Shhh," he hushed me, bringing his hand up to my forehead. "It's okay, the baby is going to be fine, don't you worry. How do you feel?"

Falling against his chest, I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tightly. "Inside I feel alright, but my head hurts and I'm kind of tired."

He remained silent for a moment, contemplating an answer… "I'm going to take you to the hospital for a check-up, alright?" he finally said.

Lips too tired to move, body too weak to stand, I slumped right into him and managed to nod my head in agreement.

The last thing I remembered was the warm envelopment of arms.

* * *

"You think you can dispose of me like I'm some sort of thing?" he asked, outraged.

"I didn't mean it like that, you know I didn't!" I shouted back.

Flinging his arm across the worktop, all his tools and cans of paint came crashing down. Hitting the floor with a loud crash that deafened my ears in the moment.

"I can't stay here any longer, I'm going for a walk," he hissed, storming past me.

Spinning around on my heel, I grabbed hold of his wrist, halting him. "Jake, I'm sorry."

The muscles in his back tightened and for a second I thought he wasn't going to answer me. Besides, he had the right to after how wrong my words came out only minutes beforehand. We were discussing how I could somehow come and visit frequently, after all, in a week I was leaving. And suddenly he grew upset, not wanting to talk of it anymore.

But I didn't stop when I should've and in turn, made myself angry. Telling him that things would be easier for us if we'd never met. I didn't mean it at all, the words just came out because I was mad. I was a stupid, self-centered, cow sometimes.

"Nina, go home," he whispered in a warning tone, remaining completely still.

"Jake," I cried pleadingly, letting go of his wrist and wrapping my arms around his waist. "I'm so sorry, I love you. I didn't mean what I said, it was a heartless thing for me to say. Please let it go, we can't waste this precious week together fighting. Yesterday's graduation was wasted on my parents, I can't do that again."

Tearing my hands away from his abdomen, he walked towards the garage door and shut it. Something he did a lot to keep Quil and Embry from eavesdropping. It also kept them out, which was what he wanted for the time being since no one knew of my pregnancy and if anyone saw the crib he'd made… well it'd spark interest throughout the pack.

"Nina," he said firmly, with his back against the wall. "You know that I'm in love with you, you know that I'd do anything for you, that I've imprinted on you, that we're meant to be, that our lives wouldn't be worth living without each other, you know all that. So why… why do you… how can you…."

"What?" I whispered, lips trembling.

Swiping a hand across his face, he asked. "How can you leave? When everything is right here? Why don't you stay and we can work something out together? I swear to you that it'll be alright, that things will go smoothly. Trust me."

Looking away from him, I said. "We've already been through this, Jake."

"But you still can't get it through to that little mind of yours that leaving will only make things worse. There's no point in you going, you'll find a job here Nina, you will. And so will I, then we can rent out someplace-"

"And tell me Jacob, where in the world am I supposed to be living when we're looking for a place to rent. Has that question ever crossed your mind?"

Running a frustrated hand through his hair, he pushed himself away from the wall and came to stand in front of me. "Embry's mom owns a store down the road and she owns the flat above it. Her dad built the place before she was born.. anyway, point is, last week I asked her if we could stay there for a couple of weeks, you know, while we're looking for a place…"

"And?" I pushed.

"It hasn't got electricity-"

"Jacob-"

"Nina," he said, taking hold of my shoulders. "Electricity is the least of our problems. What do we really need it for anyway? The only problem is that we'll have to take buckets of water up to the bathroom from the sink in the store. But that's OK for a month, right? At least we'll be together."

I was about to ask him what state the flat was in, but the hopefulness in his brown eyes caused me to keep my mouth shut. He was so in love with me, just like I was so in love with him and the love was blinding him to more important things. Things that I had only begun to see over the past few months.

He saw only the good in everything and never thought of the bad. As though bad never existed. Everything was peachy to him and he fully believed that if I stayed, we could start building a life together from scratch. Without any problems coming between us. I knew, without him having to tell me, that he was convinced that when my parents were no longer in La Push and I was really alone with him, that the imprint would get us through everything. That we'd never argue or fight, we'd only love.

But neither love or the imprint can buy you complete happiness. I hoped that my poor Jacob, with such a pure soul, would see that someday.

"Right, Nee?" he repeated, cupping my cheek in his hand and gazing into my eyes. "At least we'll be together, right?"

"Right," I whispered.

* * *

"I won't hurt the baby, will I?" he asked.

"Jacob." I giggled. "Don't be silly, I'm not even five months pregnant."

We were on First Beach, I was laying on the sand with my head against a log while he lay his head on my tummy, both of us watching the sunset. It was rather romantic, just the two of us, no one else in sight. My hands were in his beautiful long hair, alternating between playing with the locks and massaging his scalp. He hummed every now and then, enjoying it.

I allowed myself to think of our unborn baby and what it would look like. I wondered whether it would have black hair or brown hair, darkest brown eyes or chocolate brown eyes, russet colored skin or tanned skin, big lips or small lips, big eyes or small eyes, prominent cheekbones or not and the list went on and on and on. But what I really wondered was whether it was a girl or a boy.

"Nina?" he said, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"I think we're going to have a girl."

His conclusion took me by surprise. Firstly, because he answered my unvoiced question and secondly, because he believed it'd be a girl.

"And.. why is that?" I asked, the surprise evident in my voice.

"I don't know really, I just feel it, especially now while I'm lying here against your tummy."

Bringing one of my hands down to his face, I ran my fingers over his smooth forehead. "Who do you think she'll look like?"

"Me," he answered thoughtfully. "And someday we'll have a boy and he'll look like you."

"That's so sweet, Jake."

Sitting up, he moved to stand up on his feet and extended his hand out to me. "Come here."

So I took his hand and was pulled up into his loving embrace. Nothing could compare to the feel of his strong body against my weak one. It made me feel so adored and so protected. Every movement of his muscles I could feel against my body as though we fit into each other's arms like two missing pieces of a puzzle. This was home to me.

"Are you afraid of becoming a father?" I asked him, cheek pressed to his heart.

"No, I'm not actually. I feel like I'm meant to be one, it's weird. I'm so young and all."

I smiled. "Well do you feel it's too soon? Like if you could turn back time, would you have made sure I hadn't got pregnant?"

"Absolutely not," he said firmly. "This child, it's a symbol of our love, it's you and me. I'm devoted to it already. What about you?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Jake."

We walked along the shoreline barefoot, letting the water touch our feet as we held hands and moved southwards. The sky had taken on its usual color, grey, and the dark clouds promised lots of rain to come. And as much as I hated the weather in La Push, I took it all in and locked it up in my memory. So I could remember the moment whenever I wanted to, all the while knowing that I had fully appreciated it at the time.

Jacob hadn't spoken of the flat again after our conversation yesterday, despite the fact that I had thought he would. Maybe he was thinking things through or maybe he simply didn't want to bring it up again. Maybe he could tell that I wasn't too keen on the idea. Either way, I already felt homesick. I'd be leaving in five days.

Of course I didn't want to leave, I hated the idea from the start. But I couldn't help but think that it would be good for us in a way. We'd be able to think of our futures, focus on our lives and devote our time to working. I also wanted to take an internet course, though I hadn't said anything to him about it, afraid he may use it as an excuse for my leaving. Not that I felt I couldn't confide in him, I could, but during these difficult times he wasn't thinking straight. Everything revolved around me and my leaving. He wanted me to stay and I wanted to, I really did, but it'd turn our lives upside down. I wished he could see that.

"Are kidnapping me?" I joked as he lifted me up into his arms and began to carry me to his house.

"The idea has crossed my mind, it's very tempting I must say."

Billy was home when we arrived, along with Charlie Swan and Sue Clearwater. So discreetly, Jacob carried me into his room and locked the door.

"I feel like a child again, ready to get caught for doing something naughty." I chuckled.

He nodded, eyes telling me his mind was far away. "Yeah, same."

Moving to sit on the edge of his bed, I asked. "Will you be telling Billy of my pregnancy soon?"

"He already knows, Nina."

My eyes widened. "Why didn't you tell me?"

With a sigh, he sat down next to me and took my hand in his. "It was yesterday, after you left, he saw me touching your tummy and all, and asked me if you were pregnant. At first I didn't know what to say, but then I just told him the truth."

"And what did he say?"

"He said nothing, all he did was look me in the eye and squeeze my hand. It was so strange. But he seemed happy."

"Well… well that's good I guess, hopefully next time around we can tell everyone a little sooner."

Taking hold of my chin, his smoldering eyes gazed into mine. "Do you want there to be a next time around, Nina?"

I blushed, realizing what I'd just said to him. "I do, Jake.."

"How many times do you want there to be?" he asked softly, resting his forehead against mine.

"I… I don't know… I really don't know."

His thumb brushed my lip as he moved to whisper in my ear. "Maybe Four?"

My mind grew fuzzy and my vision grew hazy. "Or more."

A noise escaped his lips, sounding somewhere between a gasp and a moan. It made my heart race and the only word I could describe it as was sexy.

His lips were on my neck then, kissing and sucking. While I just sat there, taking deep breaths as my whole body shook with want. I was afraid to move, afraid to encourage him, with all those people just down the hall.

And it was so hard, so very hard.

* * *

"I cannot _believe_ you're complaining!" he said incredulously, body quivering from head to toe.

"Jacob, look around you. We can't possibly live like this, in this… flat. Breathing in this filthy air. I'm pregnant, I can't risk hurting the baby in an environment like this. You need to understand that."

"What the hell are you talking about! The air isn't filthy, it's just dust! We can fix that!"

"No." I shook my head, wrapping my arms around my torso. "No, I can't live here. I can't."

In the early hours of the morning, Embry loaned Jacob the keys up to the flat above his mothers store. So after calling me, I agreed to go up with him and check it out. From the outside it looked no different to the buildings attached to it; rectangular in shape, painted brown, big store window on the lower level and two small windows on the upper. Next to the green door that lead you into the store, there was a black one and this opened up into a very narrow hall with stairs that brought you to the first floor.

The flat was tiny. It had only one room that was to be used as a living area/kitchen/bedroom. But I couldn't see how using it as three different area's was even possible because it was so very small. Square in shape, the wall adjacent to the windows had a ancient kitchen counters attached to it along with a gas stove. In the middle of the room there was a completely worn sofa and a disgusting looking carpet. The place was filthy and literally brown with dirt. It seemed as if whoever had been living there once had never bothered to clean up after themselves.

And shame on Ms. Call for not having it cleaned. I didn't even want to know what the bathroom looked like.

"Right, okay, fine, let's go," Jacob almost spat out at me, face scrunched up in anger as he flung the old door open. Nearly bringing it off its hinges, which wouldn't be very hard to do…

"What's wrong with you?" walking over to him, I grabbed his arm. "Are you really that blind?"

He laughed bitterly. "Blind? You're calling me blind? That's like the kettle calling the pot black. Just get out before I lose my temper."

"No! I'm not leaving-" pushing the door shut again, I continued, "-until you admit that this place is a dump. And no, I'm not being unreasonable here, it's the truth. You know it yourself Jacob, you just won't admit it."

"So you're calling me a liar now, are you?" he asked, eyes blazing.

"Oh I know what you're up to now, you're trying to change the subject so you won't have to tell the truth. I'm not a fool Jacob."

Wrenching his arm from my grasp, he shoved his hands into his jean pockets, body still shaking. "This is all I can offer you now, you either take it or leave it."

"Oh I'll definitely leave it, Jacob. And you know what? our daughter would be so disappointed in you if she could see what you brought her and I to. What kind of father-"

"Don't you dare accuse me of being a bad father, don't you!" he roared, grabbing hold of my shoulder and pulling me to him, bending so that his face was in mine. "How dare you even begin to accuse me of such a thing when- when- it doesn't even matter. You don't want me anyway."

Letting go of me, he turned around, pulled the door open and left. Leaving me standing there, bewildered and confused.

* * *

Jacob didn't talk to me for two days.

I couldn't believe it, I really couldn't, not when I was so near to leaving. I'd spent the lonely two days up in my room, thinking and crying. My parents knew I was upset, so they left me alone. It was so horrible, and the whole time I blamed it on myself. Because I always seemed to upset him, he was never happy.

But still, why couldn't he have come up to me? I was leaving the next day and he was wasting precious time.

Scanning the beach for any sign of him and once again failing, I gave up and turned to Kara. "He's really not coming."

We were sitting around a bonfire with at least twenty other teenagers. Most of them were from our grade and some were leaving for college. So they all decided it'd be a good idea to have a get together. Everyone knew about the bonfire, La Push was a tiny place and word spread, and I assumed Jacob would come. I even wore my favorite knee-length cream dress. But he never turned up.

"Nina, I've never said this to you because I thought it might upset you, but I think Jacob's a little possessive of you."

"Like… how?" I asked, interested.

She shrugged. "He's always with you, always. In school when you guys would walk around, he always put a hand on you if a guy happened to look your way. Whenever you guys fall out, he's always the one that sulks. And it seems to really upset him if you disagree with him or criticize him. To me, that's a sign of possessiveness."

"But he loves me, Kara."

"I know, I mean look." she glanced down at my tummy. "You're pregnant and he's happy. Not like some of the jerks that leave their girlfriends because they're pregnant. I mean it's their fault in the first place, always looking for sex, always. Ugh. Anyway that's not the point, the point is, Jacob seems to be for keeps and I'm so happy for you Nina, I really am. As your friend, I'm just letting you know how I see Jacob, that's all."

I smiled. "Well thanks, not many people would've been that honest with me. But Kara, what if he hates me now? I wasn't being too picky about the flat, was I?"

"Not at all, like I said, he's just sulking because he wants you around all the time. I mean _you_ _know_ how you'd spend your time in that flat without electricity, don't you?"

"Yeah, I'd have to clean it constantly with all the dust and there'd be nothing to do. We'd have to spend a lot of time outdoors-"

"Nina!" she laughed. "You totally missed my point. Jacob would take advantage of the 'no electricity zone' and would be all over you. Trust me."

Blushing furiously, I shoved at her playfully. "Jacob's not like that."

"Oh please, I see the way he looks at you. Like a predator to its prey, all daring eyes and licking of lips. Especially from a far, you know, like when you're with me and completely out of his reach."

"No, really, he's not." I chuckled.

She shook her head. "I'm not buying it, Nina. Not with that constant hard-on he always has for you."

"Kara! that's so not true!"

"_Sure_." She winked. "He'd be all over you in that flat. Believe me."

"Alright, love guru, alright."

Giggling, she bumped my shoulder. "So have you guys come up with names?"

"Nah, we haven't even come to that point yet."

"Oh, well have you thought of any?"

You see that was exactly it, I couldn't come up with anything. To me, our baby would have to have a special name, a name with meaning, because this baby was a gift to us. Nothing but our love could've made it and I wanted to give him or her a name that was beautiful, but also meaningful. And it was hard to find one.

Jacob never opened his mouth on the subject, but I would've liked him to. I was sure he would've come up with something since he was such a thoughtful person. He was also creative, something I wasn't.

Oh how I missed him…

Sighing, I said. "No, it's so difficult to think up one… hell, I still can't believe I'm pregnant. My parents don't even know."

Her expression turned sympathetic and she lay a hand on my shoulder. "It'll be okay Nina, they mightn't like it but they can't do anything about it. You're eighteen now, an adult. Don't you forget that."

The rest of the night passed by quicker than I thought. We chatted along with everyone, roasted marshmallows, danced to loud music and all in all, had a good time. But of course I couldn't fully enjoy myself, not without Jacob around.

When Kara dropped me off at my house and gave me the tightest hug I ever had in my life, an awful sinking feeling began in my stomach.

This was it, this was the end, this was goodbye to the last night I'd spend in La Push.

Overcome with emotion, I burst into tears on her shoulder and all I could mumble as she gave me one last hug was a simple goodbye. I couldn't find it in me to say anything more or I would've completely broken down. I just hoped she knew how dear she was to me and how at home she made me feel when I was new to this tiny town filled with dreams.

On my way upstairs, I wondered if Jacob was thinking of me and if he was sorry for all the time he lost. Because I knew I was sorry, fighting was stupid, especially when we only had days left together.

I'd call him once I was in my room, I told myself mentally as I pushed open the door and stepped in. As usual, the room was pitch dark but for some reason, I liked it and didn't bother to turn on the light. Maybe it was because it looked how I felt, dark and dull. Or maybe it was because I was losing my mind, who knew?

Dropping my handbag to the floor, I sat down on the edge of my bed and dialed Jacob's number.

"I left it at home," his voice whispered behind me.

In my state of fright, I jumped off the bed and turned to look at him. He was laying beneath the covers, propped up on his elbow and in the darkness, all I could make out were his eyes. His beautiful, deep-set eyes.

"Jacob you.. you frightened me," I gasped out, hand to my chest.

"It wasn't my intention," he replied, no trace of humor in his usually jolly voice.

Still not bothered to turn on the light, I moved back towards the bed and climbed in next to him. He smelt of the woods, a scent that told me that's where he'd been spending a lot of his time lately. But I wasn't angry with him for ignoring me, I was too upset to feel anything but misery.

Reaching for his face, I pressed my palm to his unshaved cheek and stared into his eyes. "What are you doing here, Jake?"

"To see you, obviously," he said, sounding irritated by my question.

Taking my hand away from his face, I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for hurting you, upsetting you, lying to you, I'm sorry for making these past months a misery for you. You don't deserve it, you deserve better, much better. I'm so sorry."

For what seemed like forever, Jacob remained still and silent by my side. Usually this meant he was digesting whatever I'd said to him, but I couldn't help but worry that he was angry with me. Especially after all we'd been through.

"Are you sorry for leaving me tomorrow?" he asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"I am, Jake."

"Then why, why are you, are you-" he broke off with a growl and then jumped out of the bed.

I could hear him pacing the room, so I turned on my side to watch him. In the darkness, I could make out that he was naked, since all I could see was his glowing skin. Which meant that he wasn't in good form. He never bothered dressing or shaving when he was upset. In fact, he never bothered with anything, which would explain why he hadn't come up to see me.

"I'm going because it's the right thing to do," I told him.

"The right thing to do?" he said exasperatedly, running both hands through his hair. "How is that the right thing to do? How? When I'm here? You're rejecting me, Nina! You're going against everything that's right. You're completely refusing the imprint. Don't you see that if you leave, we're both going to be in pain? Or will I be the only one, huh? You don't seem too upset…"

Unable to take his accusations any more, I slipped out of the bed and walked right up to him. "I don't seem too upset? How could you possibly know what I'm going through? You can't read my mind! And just to let you know, I'm dying inside, okay? It's _killing_ me!"

With a roll of his eyes, he turned his face away. "Right."

"Jacob!" grabbing hold of his chin, I turned his face back to mine. "Don't do that, don't look away-"

"I can't look at you, Nina!"

"Excuse me?"

"I can't, I just can't, it's written all over you; leaving, lying, hurting, everything, it's all over you. You're stained."

Throat tightening, I could feel tears well in my eyes. "Stained? Am I not good enough for you anymore then? Is that why you're here? To break up with me?"

When he didn't say anything, I continued.

"Every day," I said, fighting back my tears. "Every single day I imagine marrying you. I see myself walking down the aisle towards you, and you're so handsome standing there, that I'm wonderstruck for a moment. I see us say our vows and the joy in our eyes because we know that the life ahead of us will be spent together. You want me, as much as I want you, and I can tell in the way that you kiss me, that you're so in love with me. Like how I'm so in love with you. Our child would be there… looking so like you. So beautiful… and yet you stand here, making it out that I don't give a damn? Why Jacob? Why, after all we've been through?"

"Because you're leaving me here in La Push, a place I'll be forever bound to, a place I can't ever leave for longer than a week. You're the only thing that keeps me sane, keeps me from losing my mind. I was on the verge of a complete mental breakdown before you entered my life, I've never told you that, because it was too depressing for me to talk about…" his voice broke, but he carried on. "And you know I wish I could go, leave for somewhere with bigger dreams, somewhere I could do something with my life. But I can't, because of who I am, and I hate that so fucking much." Tears began to roll down his cheeks, glistening in the darkness and I ached to wiped them away. "I can hear her heartbeat in your tummy and every time it rings in my ears, I die a little inside thinking of how I'm supposed to be a good father to her. Going to college, getting an education- that's impossible for me to do and so I'm jobless and worthless and a complete failure. I'll always be nothing, Nee. All I have to offer you is myself."

He broke down then, falling to his knees and burying his face in his hands as he cried his heart out. Shoulders shaking from the sobs that raked his body. I'd never seen him so miserable, so resigned, and it was tearing me apart to see him that way. A person like him didn't deserve any of that, he deserved happiness and prosperity. Deserved a life full of goodness. He deserved to choose what he wanted. And I wished that I could make that happen for him, I really wished that.

Bending down, I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him to my chest. I could feel his warm tears soaking my dress as he wound his arms around me, holding me desperately. Just like a child.

Resting my cheek on the top of his head, I spoke softly to him. "Jake, you'll never be nothing to me, you're my everything and you're not worthless. Look at what you do, you protect people from evil and risk your life by doing so, do you know how great that is? And about being bound to La Push, I know it may seem awful to you and that there are so many things you could do with your life if you weren't a shape-shifter. But this is what you do best, Jake. And when I come back, I'll never leave you again. Your life will change then, you'll have me and our child and life won't seem so empty anymore. She'll love you, you know, you'll be such a great father to her, I know you will."

"What if you don't come back…" he whispered, trailing off at the end.

"Don't say that," I told him, hating the thought. "I'd never leave you, I'd never do that."

"But what if? What if you couldn't come back?"

Holding him tighter against me, I pressed my lips to his soft hair. "Then you'd come to me, wouldn't you?"

"I would, I'd do anything for you, Nee. As long as you want me, I'd do absolutely anything."

"I'll always want you, Jake."

"Do you want me now?"

"Yes."

"I want you now, too."

Later that night, after we made sweet love to each other, I lay upon his chest and made a vow to myself that I wouldn't fall asleep. I wouldn't waste a second of our last hours together by sleeping, I'd only spend them fully with him. Of course I would've preferred to be alone with him somewhere else instead of my own home, but I had to put up with it for just that last once.

"That's so sad, Jake," I said, running my hand down his arm as tears welled in my eyes.

He was telling me the full story of when he ran away after receiving a wedding invitation from Bella. The pain and heartbreak he had gone through, and the sorrow that the pack had to feel every time they phased. No wonder they weren't too fond of Bella Swan, she had lead their Alpha on and broke his heart. What kind of girl would do that to such a great guy?

"What would you do if I ran away right now?" he asked me.

Looking up into his face, I told him the truth. "I'd run after you."

His eyes sparkled. "But then you wouldn't be able to go to Seattle, because you'd be out in the wilderness, searching for days."

"Days? What if I got eaten by some wild animal?"

"Oh, I'd keep my eye on you."

"But when I'd find you, I'd have to follow my mom and brother."

"Well, what if I… got lost? And we were stuck in the wilderness for years. Then what?"

"Then we'd have to live like early-man, wouldn't we?"

"Yeah, and we'd have lots of babies."

"And they'd all be like Tarzan." I giggled.

"But seriously," he said. "Imagine being with me meant that you had to live out in the wilderness, just like that. Would you do it?"

"Jacob, I'd sacrifice everything for you. I love you."

It occurred to me then, by the questions he asked and the look on his face, that Jacob doubted my feelings for him. He was insecure and hopeless, needing me to reassure him that what I felt for him was deep and very, very true. I knew instantly that it was Bella Swan that had done that to him, and I silently cursed her for doing so. How could she have made him believe that he had a chance when all along she knew that he hadn't? How could she?

"I love you more," he said, running a rough finger down my cheek. "So much more."

"No, you love me as much as I love you. More is impossible, because our love is stronger than love in itself. There should be another word for it, but I guess we'll just have to stick with love won't we?"

Smiling, he tilted his head to the left. "But I feel I love you more, Nee. I'm about to combust with all the love I have for you."

"Jacob, please."

"Please?"

"You can't love me more, our love for each other is equal."

A look crossed his face, one I couldn't put my finger on. "But I'm just Jacob…"

"And?"

"And there isn't much to love about me. I have a temper, I'm moody, I get jealous a little too much, I'm talentless, I'm… I'm a hairy animal. There's an endless list."

Moving up his body, I placed both my hands on each side of his face and gazed into his eyes. "None of what you just said is true, none of it. There's so much to love about you, so very much. Like how you're the nicest, friendliest guy I know. How you're so thoughtful, so helpful and so selfless. How out of everyone I know, you have the biggest heart. You're also a shape-shifter and the alpha of a pack. The alpha, Jake! And you're beautiful both inside and out. And I'm so happy I'm going to have your baby. I love you so much."

Jacob let out a sigh, before leaning up and pressing his soft lips to mine.

He kissed me gently.

Held me tightly.

Entered me slowly.

And made love to me one last time.


	25. Forget Me Not

**Chapter 26: Forget Me Not**

_"Nina, please don't go. I'm begging you. Please." He held my shoulders tightly. "For me."_

_"Jacob, I'm so s-sorry," I whispered._

_"Please, oh please, I need you, please. You're my everything, I'll make things work. I swear. Just give me some time."_

_Unable to hold back anything anymore, I burst into tears. "I p-promise I'll come b-b-back in t-two months, Jake. I promise."_

_"I can't.. I can't, Jesus, I just can't believe you Nina."_

_"Oh Jacob."_

_Overcome with all the emotions that were playing inside of me, I swayed with dizziness and saw the world turn black. Jacob, of course, noticed this in a second and took me into his arms, holding me against his heaving chest. A sign that he was fighting back the urge to phase, which did not happen very often…_

_Sitting down on the edge of my bed, he rocked us back and forth, and sang a beautiful Quileute song to me in a voice so soft it was hard to tell it belonged to him. It was soothing and soon, I felt my dizziness disappear, only to be replaced with calmness. _

_"I want to see you grow bigger with our child," he said, after finishing his song. " I want to be there when you feel her kick for the first time. I want to be there when you're too sick to get out of bed, so I can look after you. I want to be there when your waters break and I so want to be there when you're giving birth. I want to be with you throughout the whole pregnancy, Nee."_

_Running my fingers through his long, silky hair that fell over his shoulders, I said. "You mightn't be there for the first kick, but you'll be there for the rest, I promise. I wouldn't lie to you, Jake."_

_"You've lied once before…"_

_"That was.. it was unintentional, but it won't happen again. I swear. I won't let you down."_

_"Nina! The taxi is here, hurry up!" my mother called from downstairs._

_Jacob's arms tightened around me, not wanting to let go. "Stay."_

_"I can't, Jake."_

_"Please."_

_"Jake."_

_"Marry me."_

_Those two words left me speechless. "I.. are you… serious?"_

_He nodded. "Will you?"_

_"But we can't just get married-"_

_"Yes we can, we can do it tomorrow if you want. It's a simple process."_

_"Have you even got a ring?"_

_"I do," he said, looking away. "It was my mother's."_

_"Jake, you don't have to use her-"_

_"I know I don't, but you're more than worth it. So tell me, will you?"_

_"Oh my god, Jacob, it's too soon, I'm confused, I don't know what to say."_

_"Just say yes."_

_"Nina! Get down here already, we're leaving!" my mother called once again, sounding angry._

_Climbing off his lap, I stood between his legs and held his face in my hands. "I'll marry you when I come back."_

_"No!" he cried, gripping my hips tightly. "No, it's too far away. Marry me tomorrow. And we can stay at my house as a married couple for a while until I find us a place to live. I'll be your husband, Nina. Your parents can't do anything."_

_"Jacob, we can't do that, it's too rushed. Please, let me go and I promise I'll come home to you in two months. I love you, Jake. I love you so much, so, so much. I even packed your shirt and your jeans and I'm going to wear them in my room and think of you-"_

_"Thinking is not enough! We need each other, for real. I need to touch you, to know you're next to me, I need to love you, protect you- oh god dammit, I need all of you. Stay here, please."_

_"I have to go, Jake."_

_Squeezing his eyes shut, he let out a shaky breath and released me. His face turning a dark shade of red and his naked body quivering with frustration, causing the bed to creak under his weight. This was my chance to go, he was giving me it, but I had to do one last thing before I went._

_Bringing his face to mine, I pressed my lips to his and kissed him deeply._

_"I'll see you soon, my Jacob. I love you."_

Waking up with a fright, I looked around me and breathed a sigh of relief to find that it was only a just dream. A reoccurring dream that was actually a memory of my last morning in La Push. It had been plaguing me ever since I had left, reminding me of how I had broken yet another promise to him. He had been right, he was always right, I was a liar. A complete and utter liar.

I had promised him right then and there that I would come home to him after two months. And when those two months came, I had packed my bags and told my mother that I was leaving. But she knew all along that I was pregnant and refused to let me leave. Telling me that if I ran home to Jacob, I'd have no money and no place to stay. Exactly the reasons why I'd left La Push in the first place.

But had I bothered to look for employment or even an education? No. I sat around my house like a couch potato, feeling nauseous and miserable. Crying was something I did a lot, I was just so emotional, and I wanted Jacob. I needed him so badly. I yearned for him to come to me and look after me like he'd said he would.

However, I didn't deserve that, did I?

We called each other every day, usually more than once every twenty-four hours. He updated me on his life, informing me that he had found himself a job in Port Angeles, carving all sorts of things. I would've thought he'd have looked for a mechanical job again, but it turned out that it wasn't something he pictured himself doing in the long-run. I was so happy for him, but at the same time I was also sad. Jacob really would do anything for me and he listened to every word I said. He had got himself a job and he was even looking around for accommodation. And what had I done? Nothing.

By the way things looked, there was no point in my ever leaving La Push if I wasn't going to do anything with my life. Of course, I had the pregnancy excuse, but that wasn't the whole reason. The main reason was that I hadn't got any will power when I was away from Jacob. And yet I was the one who had said to him that things would be fine, that we'd be able to sort out ourselves. Hah! I was all talk but no action.

So when he asked me when I was coming home, I didn't know what to say at first. But lying wasn't an option, was never going to be an option again, I would never intentionally lie to Jacob. So I told him the truth; that my mother was against the idea of a pregnant me leaving when I hadn't got a penny or accommodation.

And what did he say?

"You mean you're not coming… you didn't even get a job or.. or… oh Jesus Christ… Nina!"

I was so ashamed and so embarrassed. I even packed my bags for the third time and began to leave for La Push when Joey caught me. And for the first time in his life, he said something helpful to me.

"Nina, mommy said you can't leave when you ain't got any money. And- and, Kyle's mommy is looking for someone to help out at the café. You should go, she'll take you."

Kyle was Joey's new best friend, he lived in the same apartment building as us. And his mommy was called Natasha: a woman who took me on as a waitress at their very own café, _Berry's_.

The pay was good, considering it was a popular place with so little employers. And after a month, I found myself fully engrossed in my job. Because of my friendliness, I even got really good tips, but I never ever spent a penny of what I earned. It was locked up in the safe in my room, and in my eyes it was Jacob's.

"Am I supposed to congratulate you?" he asked when I called him, two-weeks after I got the job.

"Jacob, I'm sorry, I really am and I don't deserve your forgiveness. But the pay is really good and I'm saving, I haven't spent a dime. It's all for us, you, me and the baby-"

"By the way you've let me down, I doubt I'll ever see the baby."

"Oh my god," I gasped.

"It's been three months since I've seen you, you know."

Swallowing back my hurt, I said. "Come to Seattle, I want to see you."

"You _want_ to see me? so you're saying it's only now that you want to-"

"Jacob! Please.. stop. Come see me, please. I miss you so bad, I want you. And I'm bigger now, six months and a half, I want you to see me. Please."

After a moments silence, he spoke. "When?"

"Monday, I'm free on Monday!" I beamed.

Monday came, but Jacob never did. I cried and cried and cried until there were no tears left. My mother even went out especially to buy me ice-cream, while Joey made a few stops to my room and stared at me worriedly. No one knew what to say to me, not even my mother. All she said was that she wondered whether my nausea was from my pregnancy or from being away from Jacob.

The following Saturday, as I closed up the café and began my walk home in the cold night, I was startled to hear a familiar voice next to me.

"Nina."

Whipping my head around to the source of the voice, I almost fainted to see him standing there dressed in a white t-shirt, faded jeans and dirty boots. The neon-lit sign from a store next to me giving him a blue glow as he leaned against his motorcycle, arms crossed over his broad chest.

I fell in love again.

"Jacob," I choked out, body paralyzed from the shock of seeing him. "Jacob."

He extended a hand out towards me. "Come."

Reminding myself to move, I took his inhumanly warm hand and took a few steps towards him until we were only inches apart.

"I… " looking down at my round tummy, I continued. "I've only got less than three months left… um, I don't know what to name… I was just coming home from work. I've got a late shift-"

"Oh, Nee," he whispered and pulled me into his arms. Kissing the top of my head repeatedly as he squeezed me affectionately. "I love you."

I cried against his chest then, so happy that my knight in shining armor was there. I had missed him so very much.

He took me back to his motel, informing me on the way that he was leaving in the morning. Although I would've wished he would stay forever, I accepted what he told me because having him for a few hours was better than not having him at all.

Sitting down on the edge of the double bed, he pulled me towards him and unbuttoned my shirt. At first I wasn't sure what his true intentions were, but when he let the yellow shirt fall to the floor and gazed down at my tummy with sparkling eyes, I knew that was what he wanted to see.

"You're so beautiful, Nee," he told me, feeling all around the pale globe. "Our baby is in there, can you believe it? she's actually in there. It's amazing."

I combed my fingers through his long locks of hair and smiled to myself with joy as he kissed and kissed and kissed my round tummy. His lips felt so soft against my skin, so soothing, I never wanted him to stop. That was one of the things I was missing out on by being away from him.

"I can't stop eating, Jake," I said, as he trailed his kisses northwards. "She takes after you."

He chuckled and looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. "Are you calling me fat?"

"Oh, you could never be fat. Never. And even if you were, it wouldn't make a difference. It's who you are on the inside that counts."

Climbing onto his lap with extra carefulness, I wrapped my arms around his neck and captured his lips in a kiss that was long overdue. Our tongues sought each other and danced together sensually, like always. I realized that missing him wasn't even close to how I felt when he wasn't around, it was more like I was deprived of him. And to have him for just a night, reminded me of what a good thing I had.

My hands flew to the hem of his t-shirt, but his large ones covered mine and wanted to do the job instead. The roughness of his fingers didn't escape my notice, so I broke our kiss and brought one of his hands up for inspection.

"Jacob, why aren't you healing?" I asked, staring at the scabby, fleshy, fingers.

"I don't know," he said thoughtfully. "Sam says it's because I hardly phase anymore, dad says it's because my imprint is too far away for me to function properly."

"What do you believe?"

"My mind says the phasing thing, my heart says the imprint thing. I really don't know."

"Well, I'll make them better for you," I said, and sucked on each finger one by one.

Watching me, his eyes darkened and darkened until they were completely black with lust. Full lips parted as he breathed in gasps. Salty sweat rolling down his temples, a sign that his body temperature had risen.

Jacob made love to me that night aggressively, for the very first time.

At six in the morning, he arose to take a shower and dress for his departure. But this time around it wasn't him that couldn't take my leaving, it was me that couldn't take _his_ leaving. It was just too hard.

"Why didn't you beg me to come back with you?" I asked, still naked under the sheets.

Pulling on his t-shirt, he shrugged. "I give up."

"Give up?" sitting upright on the bed, I narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean, _give_ _up_?"

"You'd say no, Nina. And this time, I'm not going to plead. I've done that enough already. Whenever you want to come back, just turn up and no one's hurt."

Mouth ajar in shock, I climbed out of the bed and walked up to him. "So if I decided to stay here for… ten years, you wouldn't care?"

"Nope."

"You're lying," I said.

He bit down on his lip, looked me up and down and then grabbed my forearm, pulling me right up to him so that he could peer into my face. "Of course I'm lying! You think I'd just change my outlook on things in what? two days? Have you asked yourself why I never turned up last Monday? Let me tell you why, because I was afraid that I'd have a complete mental breakdown when I returned to La Push without you. It's one thing being away from you, but it's another having to see you again and then having to leave."

"Then stay here and once I've saved up enough money to get us going for a while, we'll go back."

"Nina! Just shut the hell up for once, okay? Money, money, money, it's all you ever think of. Money can't buy you happiness, did you know that? If you want me, come home with me right now."

"Jacob, I can't."

"Fine." He released me and bent down to tie his laces. "I won't ask you again."

"Jacob, I just want to finish the month and then I'll come."

"Is that another lie of yours?"

Placing my hand on his back, I said honestly. "No, it's not. I'll never ever let you down again."

Instead of saying anything, he just shook his head and stood up. Walking away from me so he could comb his long, shiny hair. I yearned to wrap my arms around his waist and hold him close to me, but I knew that that wasn't what _he_ yearned. So I kept my distance and busied myself by taking a shower and dressing. It didn't take long for the goodbye moment to arrive.

"So…" he began, hand on the door knob, facing away from me. "I guess I'll see you."

"Jacob, I'm not Bella, okay?"

After a moment's hesitation, he turned around. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not some girl that used you and lead you on, all the while she was in love someone else. Okay? I would never use you. You're my other half and I'll always be yours. Hell, if I could give you my heart right now I would. And I know I'm nowhere near perfect, I mess up, I break promises and all of that, I know, but at the end of the day I'm yours. No one can ever take me away from you. So don't treat me like I'm going to run away with some vampire and leave you all alone, like you meant nothing to me. You mean everything to me, Jacob. I'm sorry I'm taking so long trying to earn money, I am. I'm just terrified I won't be able to support our baby, I just…" tears sprung from my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away. "I just want to be the perfect mother. Please don't treat me like Bella. I love you more than words can say."

Lowering his eyes with shame, Jacob walked over to me and captured me in his arms. The heat from his body burning through my shirt and melting into my body as our hearts beat together as one. In his embrace I felt safe, I felt I belonged somewhere and that somewhere was always going to be with him. And even though he was leaving, I promised myself that I would stay strong until the day I returned home to him came. It was so worth the wait.

Pressing his lips to my forehead, he spoke softly to me. "Bella isn't even half the woman you are, Nee. I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. Forgive me. I love you. You're all I ever wanted."

When Jacob and I said our goodbyes, I didn't look back as he sped off in the other direction. That would've only made me feel worse. So I walked home with my hands on my tummy, thinking only of him, our unborn child and the future we were going to have together.

Another three weeks passed and as I packed away most of my belongings, I couldn't help but feel sad. Living with my parents was all I had ever known and when they had decided to go their separate ways, it did feel very strange without my father around. So leaving my mother and Joey wouldn't be easy. Especially with them living hours away from La Push. I loved them.

When I told mother about my decision to leave, she cried. This surprised me because we weren't close and although I knew she loved me, I didn't think she'd miss my presence around the house. But she proved me wrong when she told me that she adored me and that she was sorry for not making much effort on our relationship. She admitted that she dedicated too much of her time on my father and never listened to her own thoughts, but his. And even though she wished that I was her little girl forever, she was willing to let me go, if that was the one thing she did in her life that made me happy.

"Your father loves you too, Nina. I know that you probably doubt that sometimes because he's vey bossy and doesn't approve of you dating boys he thinks are older than you. You just have to accept the fact that he's old fashioned and not very good at showing affection. Look at it this way, he wouldn't call everyday if he didn't love you and your brother, would he? Because he certainly doesn't want to speak to me." she smiled.

I knew what she was saying was true, but I couldn't stop myself from asking her a question that was tormenting me for weeks. "But mom, he never… he never congratulated me on my pregnancy or anything. You _did_ tell him, didn't you?"

"Nina…" she trailed off, the smile vanishing from her face.

It turned out she didn't tell him, why? Because she feared his reaction. That was the problem with mother, she feared everything. So I had to tell him myself, as much as I hated the idea.

"I'm great, thanks. Yourself?"

"Ah, not too bad, hon, not too bad. Just missing you both is all."

"Well um… dad, I have some news."

"Good or bad?"

Gripping the phone tighter in my hand, I bit down on my lip. "I don't know how you'll look at it."

"Then just go ahead and tell me, I'm listening."

"I… I'mEightMonthsPregnant."

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't… hear?"

"Oh I did alright."

Was that it? I asked myself. Was that all he had to say?

"Dad, I know you're mad and I'm sorry I always seem to do the wrong thing in your eyes, but I'm keeping this baby, I love it and I'm going to raise it with Jacob."

"Ah, Jacob Ephraim Black. You know he phoned me two months ago, I haven't a clue how he got hold of my number because you certainly didn't give it to him. Anyway, we had a little talk and he mentioned your pregnancy and warned me not to say one bad word to you concerning it. I was wondering when you, my own daughter, was going to break the news to me. I was starting to think you wouldn't."

I was completely frozen. "Jacob.. called you?"

"Yes, Nina. Didn't he tell you?"

"No…"

"Well you ask him about it, alright? I better be going."

"But-"

"Goodbye, say hello to Joey for me."

Eight-months and two-weeks pregnant, my tummy was huge and my daughter wouldn't stop kicking and punching. Not that I knew for sure that it was a girl. Whenever I went for a check-up, I insisted that I didn't want to be told. I wanted it to be a surprise. But I felt that Jacob was right, that it was a girl. He was always right.

Gathering all my savings, I called on my mother and Joey to help carry down my two heavy suitcases. I was too tired to do anything, save talk to Jacob on the phone. He didn't know I was leaving on a Thursday though, because I lied to him intentionally. But it was done with good intentions. I just wanted to surprise him.

Saying goodbye to my mother was hard, but I promised her I'd visit if she promised she'd do the same. But saying goodbye to Joey was harder, because he was my little brother, the baby of the house and I loved him dearly.

What kept me strong was knowing that I would see them again, because unlike Isabella Swan, I chose life.

* * *

"Oh My goodness," I whispered as the taxi pulled up outside Jacob's.

"Sorry?" the taxi man asked, staring at me through the rearview mirror.

Smiling, I handed him the fair. "Nothing, nothing at all."

But it was far from nothing, Jacob had finally turned his garage into a cottage. From the outside it looked small with equally small windows and a narrow front door which was red in color. The house itself was painted brown, giving it that cozy look that I loved. There was no porch, nor was there a path that lead up to it, but to me it was fucking perfect.

With extra effort, I threw a bag over my shoulder and wheeled the other two towards the cottage. I knew, the minute I saw it, that it would be my new home. That Jacob and I would make so many memories there, and that our unborn child would probably grow up there, surrounded by so many good people. Oh, I was already in love with the place. I wanted to jump up and down with joy, I really did.

Just as I suspected, the door was unlocked so I let myself in. A smile broke out on my face when I took in my surroundings. It was so small inside. There was no hallway, just a living-room/kitchen area which was decorated nicely. Wheeling my bags towards the two doors at the back wall, I found that the left one opened up into a tiny bathroom and the one next to it lead me into the only bedroom in the house. Of course, I deposited my bags there and stood in the middle of the room, looking all around it.

Unlike the living-room/kitchen area and the bathroom, the bedroom was decorated simply. A double bed lay up against the wall in the centre of the room, with just a white sheet thrown over it, nothing more. The walls themselves were painted a light gray and the floor was covered with a dark grey carpet. A wardrobe was fitted into the corner of the room and a dressing table was placed right next to the door. Leaving an empty space by the corner near the end of the bed. What it was for, I had no idea. But I suspected Jacob had decorated the bedroom.

Feeling sweaty and hyper, I took a much needed shower in a bath-tub I _knew_ was mine. Gone were the days Joey or mother or even my father would come knocking on the door, telling me to hurry up because they needed the bathroom. It was wonderful, oh it was so wonderful.

I finally understood the meaning of _home sweet home_.

When I dressed and peeped outside the window for Jacob, there was no sign of him, so I decided to unpack.

I knew that I could call him and tell him I was home, finally. But I wanted.. no I had to, surprise him. He'd be so happy to see me and I'd be thrilled to see him and it'd just be the best surprise ever. So unexpected, so abrupt, exactly how I wanted.

But hours later, when the clock struck eight, I grew tired of waiting and worried that he would never come to me. Not even turning on the lights so that he'd see the glow from the windows outside had him running to our little cottage. Perhaps, he wasn't around? I asked myself. Or perhaps he was patrolling?

Patrolling he was, I found him near Second Beach, apparently they'd smelt something.

"Nina!" he called, joyful. Running towards me while he tried to button his shorts, failing every time. "Nina! Is that you?"

"Well I'd like to think so," I teased, heart racing in my chest. He was even more beautiful than I remembered.

Lifting me off my feet, he twirled me round and round until I couldn't take it anymore. All the while he laughed and sighed my name, sounding so relieved that I'd finally come back to La Push after all the times I postponed it.

"I saw what you did to the garage," I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck and smiling. "You have no idea how delighted I am with it, it's so pretty, so cozy. I can't believe you kept that a secret. But what a surprise it was, I can't wait to live there with you."

Pressing his forehead to mine, he grinned. "Well, I couldn't have my pregnant princess coming back to her wolf without a home waiting for her, could I?"

"You're home to me, Jake," I said softly.

"Oh well, that's your home's home.. if that makes any sense." He laughed. "Dad says we can move into his place when our child gets older, she'll need her own bedroom and there's only one in the cottage."

Feeling slightly disappointed, I drew my lips down. "But the cottage, I love it…"

"Aren't I your home, Nina?" he asked playfully, raising an eyebrow. "Aren't I? Aren't I? tell me I am? Tell me, tell me."

He was tickling my sides then and I fell, bum first, into the sand. Although I was laughing, I worried for a second, whether the baby was alright and Jacob seeing this, had him worrying too.

Falling to his knees in front of me, he touched my hugely round tummy. "It's okay, right? I didn't hurt it, did I? Do you feel okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded, placing my hand over his. "I'm fine- oh! Look! she kicked you! Ha ha!"

This brought a huge smile to his face and for the following ten minutes, he kept his palm on my tummy, hoping she would kick him again. Which she did, over and over and over.

On our way home, we walked hand-in-hand through the moon-lit woods, talking quietly to one another.

"Nina, I'm over the moon with joy that you're here to stay. Gosh, I wish I could yell and scream and wake the whole neighborhood up, just to let everyone know you're here where you belong. This has got to be _one_ of the best days of my life."

"So I did surprise you, like really surprise you?"

"Of course! Jeez, Nee, I thought I'd lost my mind when I smelt you near."

"Lucky I walked to the right place."

"Well," he started in a more serious tone. "I didn't really like how you wandered the beach alone at a late hour, especially being pregnant and all. You never know what could be lurking in the woods. But I'll forgive you just this once."

"Oh, Jacob!" I said, suddenly. Stopping in my tracks and throwing my arms around his naked waist. "I missed you so much, it was miserable without you. I couldn't wait for this day."

He chuckled when I began to kiss his broad chest and started to smooth his hand over my hair. "Did you think of me all the time? And dream of me?"

"Yes," I said, honestly. "Did you?"

"I was haunted by you, Nina. You weren't just in my mind, you were everywhere. Sometimes I'd think I'd hear you, sometimes I'd think I smelt you. I even woke up during the first month you were gone, reaching out for you in my bed. Thinking you were there. You drove me crazy."

Tilting my head back, I locked my eyes on his glittering ones. "Jacob, I know you love me and all, but… never mind, I'm being silly."

"What?" he asked, gripping my wavy hair. "What is it? Speak."

"Nothing, nothing, forget it."

"_Nina_."

Sighing, I finished what I started. "I've never loved before and when I met you, everything fell into place. You were the one. It was easy for me, I never suffered heartbreak or rejection. And I forget sometimes, that you did. There are times I wonder about you, remembering everything you told me about Bella, how much you loved her and cared for her. You took risks for her, Jake. I mean you even ran away… and I wonder, if she had chosen you and then you had imprinted on me, would you have just pushed the feeling away and held onto her? You were crazy for her, Jake."

Letting go of my hair, he backed away from me and shook his head. "No, no I wouldn't have chosen her over you. I couldn't… that would've been impossible. Besides, she's nowhere near as good as you. Before, when I fell for her, love was new to me. I'd never felt it for any other girl and when it's new and amazing, you think that they're the one. That they're special. And it took me a long time to realize that she wasn't special, that she wasn't for me. I wasn't a normal teenager, well in the beginning I was, but that didn't last long.. I didn't do normal teenager things, I was patrolling, I was transforming into a gigantic wolf, I was killing vampires. I had no time for girls and so Bella was the only female I spent any time with.

"She knew my secret, which made things easier and she accepted me for who I was. That in itself meant a lot to me and because Edward left, I thought I had a chance. You see that's where I was so wrong and that's what had me falling harder for her each time. And Bella, she lead me on, when she shouldn't have. It was gone too far though and I was hooked, I wanted her, I loved her, I would've done anything for her. But then she finally made it clear that I really had no chance, it hit me all at once when I received her wedding invitation and after that I was.. broken. I ran away, only to come back for her wedding. She upset me there, you know, telling me she wanted a 'human experience' with Edward on their honeymoon before she was turned.

"I mean you don't say that..it's wrong, it's sick, but she did and I lost control. And you know what? because she did that, she got pregnant with a mutant baby and almost died during the pregnancy. I swear, it was so scary, her home had turned into a freaking hospital. Her body… bruised and just, ugh, it was wrong in so many ways. But she still wanted it, can you believe it? She refused to get it taken out of her. The things she did for Edward, for a part of him, I mean I don't even know how he could still create sperm, I really don't. Anyway, I gave up completely when she gave birth to a daughter named Renesmee. I looked at her and saw for the very first time, that her and I were never meant for each other. She may have made a good friend to me, but that was it, we weren't compatible otherwise. Her and I saw things differently.

"I was upset though, I felt so lonely and broken. I even believed that I would never imprint and thought I'd be alone forever. Now and then I'd visit the Cullen's, but it wasn't the same. Because I no longer wanted Bella, so there was really no point in my visiting. Then my final year at school started, and I told myself that I'd work my hardest, make my dad proud of me. After all, he loved me, it was someone. So one day I wake up, shower, dress and wow, it's sunny outside. I feel good for some reason, I feel hopeful and then during my English lesson, I realize I forgot my pen and my pencil and my sharpener and everything. I was really angry with myself and kind of embarrassed, and so I asked this girl for an extra pencil. And boom! I had finally found the one I was searching for. You. No one could ever take your place, Miss Nina O'Neil. You're made for me and I for you. And Bella has nothing on you, Nina. I know that you wouldn't have done the things she's done. Because you're better than that, you're a part of me. My other half. Never doubt my deep feelings for you. I'm madly in love with you. And I'll never stop loving you. Never."

The world stopped turning and I stood standing there in front of him, gazing at the one I love. He was all I could see, all I could hear, all I could breathe. It felt exactly how they described imprinting, except I knew that it wasn't that, it was love. True love. The kind every girl searches for and is told doesn't exist, except in fairytales. I could feel it rushing through my veins, pumping my heart, keeping me alive. And I could see that he was the source of that feeling and without him, life wouldn't be worth living.

Jacob took a step forward and I took one in return. We were so close, yet so far away. I wanted to consume him and he wanted to devour me. Both were impossible, but there were things that could make up for them, things that made us feel content for a while.

In the magic moment, he bent down and brushed his lips over mine. While I grabbed onto his strong shoulders, holding him in place. I parted my lips for him and he kissed me slowly, sensually, letting us both savor the moment. His hands gravitating towards my tummy, feeling all around the bubble which held the proof of our love. Which would soon come into the world and be cherished by parents that would love it endlessly.

I gasped into his mouth when I felt the water pour out of me.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, breaking the kiss to search my eyes.

"My waters broke," I told him in barely a whisper.

His jaw dropped and taking a step back, his eyes widened. "Oh my god."

"I'm not due for another two-weeks."

"It's alright," he said, taking my hand. "We just need to get you-"

But my loud moaning drowned out his voice, a terrible pain suddenly hitting me. I could feel his hands on my forearms, holding me up as I doubled over. While I held my tummy, willing the pain to go away.

When I glanced up at his face, I could see through my teary eyes that he had paled and was in shock. Not what I needed in such a serious situation. If only there had been time for me to get to a hospital, I would've had him take me. But the baby was coming. I could feel it.

"Nee, lay down," he told me, his voice faltering. "Lay down on the ground."

Despite the pain, I did as I was told with a little help from him and lay down. I was so worried that things were going to go all wrong. All I could think about was my baby. My baby, my baby, my baby.

Leaning over me, he pressed a kiss to my cheek. "It's going to be alright, I promise."

"Jacob, the baby!"

Hushing me, he pushed the hair from my face and held my gaze. "I promise you, I won't let anything happen to her."

My moan turned into a scream then, and I knew it was only a matter of time before the baby would be born.

* * *

The hospital room was crowded with familiar faces. Billy Black was there, Sue Clearwater, the whole entire pack and their imprints. My parents, Joey and Kara were really the only people missing. But that didn't bother me, because the two most important people in my life were right next to me. Jacob and Jacqueline.

I chose the name Jacqueline because it reminded me of Jacob and anything related to Jacob meant more to me. So to be able to call my first born a name similar to his, especially when shortened to Jackie, would be a great pleasure to me and of course, to him. Since he gave me one of those breathtaking smiles the instant I suggested the name. Gosh, I loved him so much.

Jacqueline was the definition of beautiful: the image of Jacob Black. Her dark brown eyes were outlined with thick, black lashes, exactly like her fathers. Her lips were very full and very perfect in shape, exactly like her father. Her skin was a lovely russet color, exactly like her father. And her hair was shiny black, exactly like her fathers. There was nothing in her that was like me, it was as though she inherited nothing from her mother. But I didn't mind at all, Jacob was by far better than me. He was beautiful, I was not.

And Jacob, he had actually delivered his own daughter in the middle of the woods. It had been such a scary experience for me, especially when I heard her first cries and realized that we'd have to call an ambulance.

I was just so afraid for her, for Jacqueline. I didn't want anything to go wrong. I wanted her to be healthy. I wanted Jacob to be happy.

Jacob was more than happy though, he was glowing. His dark eyes wide with wonder and love for his daughter as he cradled her to him and stared down at her. A broad smile on his face, teeth flashing white in the darkness. I watched the two most important people in my life meet one another for the first time with such joy. Although giving birth had been hard, it was well worth it.

Jacqueline was handed to me when Jacob had to make an emergency call to Forks hospital. Holding her was… indescribable. I never imagined that I'd have my own baby so soon in life, but I was thrilled. Over the moon. Elated. There really wasn't a word for it, I was just so proud to be her mother. So blessed that Jacob was her father. We'd give her the best life we could.

When the ambulance arrived and I was taken by stretcher, nearly the whole neighborhood came out to watch. I suppose it was funny when you thought about it, however my thoughts were too absorbed in Jacqueline that I hardly noticed.

"Well," Billy began after all the others had left. "I'm finally a grandfather, thought I'd never see the day."

"Bet you thought Rach and Paul were going to give you your first grandchild," Jacob said.

Billy chuckled. "Can't say I didn't."

Jacob stuck out his tongue, childishly. "Proved you wrong. Remember dad, age is _just_ a number."

"Very true, son. You act exactly like you did when you were in diapers." He turned his gaze to me. "Nina, I'm afraid you've got yourself two children to look after, not one."

I laughed, despite my exhaustion and turned to look at Jacqueline.

She lay against Jacob's chest with her eyes closed and a thumb in her mouth, looking so tiny and so fragile. Her expression was a relaxed one and I could tell that she took a liking to her father. Then again, who couldn't? His sunny personality was contagious.

"Am I too hot for you?" he asked me, a little while after his father left. "Your face is flushed and you look like you could do with some sleep."

I smiled tiredly, squeezing his hand in mine. "You'll always be hot for me, Jake. But never _too_ hot, because you're made for me remember?"

Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he slipped off the bed with Jacqueline in his arms. "I'll never forget, the only problem is that you don't realize when I'm burning you up. Poor Jackie here is probably roasting too, I'll set her down in her crib while _you_," he said pointedly, "get some rest. I'll still be here when you wake up, don't worry. Haven't got work tomorrow."

And he _was_ still there when I woke up, asleep in the armchair next to the bed.

Speaking of beds, I was relieved when I was finally brought home and could rest in the comfy double bed Jacob and I would share. Not to mention, the room smelt lovely, a mixture of flowers and vanilla. Unlike the hospital, which mostly smelt of disinfectant.

"Is this better? Now that you're home and you don't have any nurses or doctors bothering you?" he asked as he tucked me into bed.

Reaching out to comb my fingers through his lush hair, I nodded happily. "Much better, thank you."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Are you warm enough? Do you want me to get you more blankets?"

"I'm fine, Jake, really."

"Okay, well, um, you're not hungry are you? I'll try and-"

"Jacob, shush." I giggled, pressing a finger to his lips. "I'm great, really great. A little sore and mostly tired, but that's expected. So relax and do whatever _you_ need to do. I'll let you know if I need anything."

He smiled that breathtaking smile of his and pulled away from me. "Alright, you do that, I'll just take a shower, but I'll check on Jackie first."

"You only just checked on her," I said.

"Pfft, that was like two minutes ago. Anyway-" he backed away from the bed. "-I'll see you in a bit, call me if you need anything. I'll hear you, thanks to my werewolf senses."

I smiled after him as he walked over to the crib in the corner of the room, cooed over Jacqueline and then made his way out. He loved her so much, never ever left her for over ten minutes unless he was working. She was all he spoke about and she was mostly all he thought about. Basically, Jacob was every girls dream guy. Tall, dark and handsome. Loves children. And intends to marry the one he loves. I was so lucky.

That night, when he came home from a quick patrol around the area, I was enveloped in one of his bear hugs and my collarbone was attacked with kisses so sweet, I could almost taste them.

"What are you doing up? And cooking? I told you I'd be back in ten minutes," he murmured against my skin, still kissing me.

"Jacob we both know you can't cook, besides it's fine, like I said I'm sore but I'm okay. I can stand here, you like crepes don't you?"

"I like anything you cook."

With a roll of my eyes, I chuckled. "There's a pair of shorts on the sofa, thought you might need them."

"Do you want to know if I need them?" he asked, huskily.

I covered my ears and turned back to the stove. "La, la, la, la, la. I didn't hear what you said. If you're a good boy you'll be gone by now and dressed. I'm hungry, that's all. And I'm tired and I'm going to bed after I eat."

And of course he was gone, the shorts had disappeared off the sofa and I could hear him talking to Jacqueline.

She had cried a lot when he was gone, it was crazy really, how she knew he wasn't around. However, I fed her and when she finally calmed down, I lay her down in her crib and rushed towards the kitchen so I could cook up something for myself and Jacob. I was unbelievably hungry. And there was no doubt he would be too.

When I had finally set the last crepe I fried on a plate, I set it down on the coffee table and called Jacob in. Unsurprisingly, he didn't come in immediately and I was on my third crepe when he finally sat down next to me on the sofa.

"Put her to sleep," he told me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"She cried for you when you left." I smiled. "Don't ask me how she knew you were gone."

"Aw, I hate leaving her. She's just so tiny, so adorable and so beautiful. She's so good too. Precious little angel she is. We're blessed."

Leaning my head against his chest, I said. "Well it was bound to happen, her being an angel and all, when her father is you."

Looking down into my face, he grinned. "Do you really think that highly of me?"

"Of course!"

"You didn't see anyone in Seattle you liked better?" he asked, a nervous edge to his tone.

"No, impossible. Why would you ask me that?"

A blush colored his cheeks. "I don't know, I just wondered…"

I shook my head with disappointment. "Jacob, you have to stop feeling worthless-"

"I don't feel worthless-"

"Yes you do, Jacob," I said, leaning away from him and looking him dead in the eye. "Just because Bella rejected-"

"For crying out loud Nina, stop bringing up Bella! We already spoke about her the other night! She's not important!" he shouted.

Grabbing his face in my hands, I shook my head. "I know that, but I want this to stop right now. I want you to love yourself as much as I love you-"

Pushing my hands away, he jumped up off the sofa and walked away to stand by the window. "Go to bed, Nina," he said lowly.

"No," I whispered, sitting back against the sofa. "Not until you realize how special you are."

"Special? The only thing that's special about me is my handiness," he said sourly, staring out into the street.

"That's not true."

"It is and to be completely honest with you Nina, I don't know what you see in me."

Jacob was really lacking in confidence and I knew it was because of his life. His mother died when he was young, his father was crippled, his sisters moved away for college, he fell in love with a girl who didn't feel the same way and to top it all off, he discovered he was a shape-shifter. It seemed nothing ever went in his favor, except for imprinting and Jacqueline. And I wanted him to see that, I wanted him to know that we were his family too and that we'd never let him down. That he had to put the past behind him.

I began to bite on my nails, a habit I'd got myself into during my pondering in Seattle. "So if I told you I was leaving, because you didn't deserve me, you'd just accept that?"

"No," he mumbled, still staring out the window. "I wouldn't be able to, because I love you."

"But you'd still think that there's someone out there for me who's better than you?"

This time, he turned to look over at me. "I don't know."

With a sigh, I got up off the sofa and walked over to where he stood. "Jacob, do you really mean everything you've said? Do you really not see what I and everyone else sees in you? Do you really think that there might be someone better for me out there?"

"I don't know, Nina. I don't know anything, I'm confused, I'm… I'm-" he burst into tears then, his hands instinctively coming up to his face to shield them from me, while his shoulders shook with the force of his sobs.

I'd seen Jacob cry before, a couple of times, but those times mostly had to do with us. This, however, was different. I wasn't sure, but it seemed to me that he was depressed over something and that he was letting the misery take hold of him. Maybe he needed to be alone, maybe not, but I wasn't going to leave his side. Not when he needed a friend.

And maybe that was what he needed, a friend. I'd always thought of myself as his friend and we once were only friends. But after we took our relationship to the next level, we spent most of our time together loving one another and not really doing anything else.

Wrapping my arm around his waist, I took him back over to the sofa and sat him down next to me. And there, he lay his head down upon my lap and cried as I ran my fingers through his hair. I told him to cry, that it was better to let it out than to hold it in and he did just that. You couldn't really hear him cry, Jacob wasn't very loud, so I was almost positive Jacqueline wouldn't be disturbed.

We sat there for a good while, about twenty-five minutes to be exact, without saying a word to each other. Honestly, I could've sat there forever until he felt better. Anything for Jacob.

"I need to clear my head," he said eventually, removing himself from my lap and sitting upwards next to me.

Clearing my throat, I stood up and smiled down at him weakly. "Yeah sure, I'll just um, go brush my teeth and um, yeah." And then I was gone, rushing for the toilet despite the pain in my lower region.

Once inside, I shut the door and stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. The need to cry was strong, very strong. Yet, I wasn't really sure why I wanted to cry. Seeing Jacob upset made me sad, of course it did, but I was supposed to be the supportive imprint. Not the weeping girlfriend. It just really upset me when he was laying there, crying his heart out. I felt so bad for him. And I desperately wanted to know why he was miserable.

Maybe that was it, maybe that was why I wanted to cry. Usually the imprint knows what's troubling her wolf, but I didn't and that was tormenting and upsetting. Especially after giving birth to a baby, I wasn't exactly headstrong.

Taking a deep breath, I switched off the light and left the bathroom.

Jacob was out the back, sitting on a log with his face in his hands. My heart broke again to see him that way. It was so sudden, so unexpected, he was happy an hour beforehand, why wasn't he anymore?

"Jake?" I said softly, sitting next to him and placing a hand on his burning back. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I've got nothing to say," he whispered, dropping his hands and turning to look at me. His eyes bloodshot with all the tears he cried.

I frowned. "You're just upset?"

"I'm not upset," he told me, voice hoarse. "I'm.. remorseful."

"Remorseful? Over what?"

He sighed. "Over my past. Everything was just so wrong, so miserable. Bad things happened and I couldn't do anything about them. Like my mom and my dad. I just.. I had to deal with things and put on a fake smile and pretend I was OK. When I wasn't."

"Oh Jacob," I said regretfully, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Nina I was a good kid, I did everything I could for my dad and I was great with everyone. But inside it was killing me. Imagine having to see your dad crippled, Nina, it's awful. Not only that, but having to care for him twenty-four seven because no one else is around. I love my dad, you know I do, and I didn't mind looking after him, but it was hard work. It was stressful too. Sometimes I felt so old."

"I can imagine, Jake, I can. But honey, what brought this up? Did something happen? Is your dad OK?"

"He's fine, he's fine, it wasn't him that made me remember.. it was… it was just _being_ a dad made me remember."

I bit my lip and diverted my gaze to the muddy ground. Although Jacob was physically twenty-five years old, mentally he was only eighteen and being thrust into a life with me and a child couldn't be easy for him. Not that he didn't enjoy having a daughter or having me around, he did, but at the same time it was a great responsibility. Even greater than being Alpha to a pack. No matter how prepared he thought he was.

"Nina," he said, taking my chin between his fingers and tilting my head upwards. "I love being a dad, don't think I don't, I didn't mean it that way-"

"No, Jacob, I understood you. Don't worry, I'm not upset or anything."

"But you're about to cry, there's tears in your eyes."

"Maybe I'm just… sad for you, Jake."

It was true, we were attached to each other by these invisible strings and we'd both feel whatever each one of us was feeling. Imprinting was a strange thing. It seemed to change slightly every now and then, as though it were getting stronger. Before, I'd feel for Jacob, but after coming back to him and having his daughter, I was beginning to feel like Jacob. What he felt I felt.

While I was thinking this through, he unexpectedly pressed his lips to mine and kissed me slowly. Putting meaning into the kiss. I always knew that he loved to be kissed, but I never thought it would be something that he'd want to do during hard times. In fact I hardly ever kissed Jacob when he was down, instead I kept my distance. Maybe that was wrong of me.

Responding to him quickly, I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him closer. He made a sound of approval in his throat before deepening the kiss, his tongue searching for mine. Jacob tasted like chocolate, sweet and addictive. I smiled against his lips because I could, because he'd understand, because I loved him.

We kissed for a long while, just sitting there on the log in complete darkness with our arms wrapped around each other. I didn't feel the ice-cold night air once, Jacob's heat had completely enveloped me, giving my body a flushed look to it. Our hearts beat as one and our lips moved in perfect synchronization. We were very connected in that moment, even more so than usual.

"Will you still hold me like this.. kiss me like this, when we're old?" I asked him breathlessly as we pulled apart.

His dazed eyes took on a wondrous look. "Old? Nina you'll never be old to me, no matter how much time passes and no matter how much you change. Inside you'll still be that girl I love and in your eyes I'll always see what I saw that first time our gazes met. Time doesn't mean a thing to me."

"You see things in such a beautiful way, Jake."

"Well, life is beautiful after you imprint. Just simply knowing that you've found your soul-mate is a gift. And now, having a child with you, it's just wonderful. This place we're in now, it's enchanted."

"Kiss me again," I whispered desperately.

The last kiss he gave me was when we retired to our bed that night. It was on the part of my neck he'd scared months ago, releasing feelings inside of me that I didn't need to feel at that moment. He knew what he was doing of course, I could feel him smile against my skin when I shivered.

"I'm going to take you away someday," he told me, burying his face into my hair and breathing me in. "Somewhere warm and beautiful, like you."

My cheeks burned. "I'm not-"

"Shush, you are. And when we go to that place, wherever that will be, I'll make you feel like you're the only girl in the world. I try to make you feel that way here, but it's difficult, with work and the pack and all. There, I will give you my full attention and all my love. I'll express my feelings for you more fully, more freely. Wait till you see."

"Jake." I smiled in the dark. "Since we have a baby now, that'll probably be years away. It's a lovely thought though. Really lovely."

"Maybe," he said softly, moving his lips to my ear. "It'll be sooner than that, life is full of surprises."

I rolled my eyes. "Pffft."

"No really, come daylight and you'll understand."

Behind me, he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me against his body. Our heart's beating as one.

And our future laying ahead of us.


	26. Epilogue

_**Epilogue: Once Upon A Time**_

I was in the middle of washing the wooden floors in the hall when the back door slammed open and in walked Jacob with the same bitter expression on his face I'd been seeing for the past six weeks. He was soaked to the bone from the pouring rain outside and naked. Something I hardly noticed anymore since it was such a regular occurrence.

He stormed past me into the living-room, almost knocking me to my feet in the process and I could hear him slam his fist against the wall in anger.

Two months ago, Jacob told me he was going to stop phasing. That he was doing it because his twenty-sixth birthday was coming up and that he wanted to start aging with me. We both knew it wouldn't be an easy thing for him to do since he was alpha to the pack and the need to lead was very strong in his bones. But we never imagined it would be so hard that he couldn't last a week without phasing. It would just happen randomly, we could be at the park and he'd suddenly start convulsing. Jacqueline and Nile sometimes even pointed it out to me that their daddy was 'angry'. This in itself scared me senseless, I couldn't have the children around him when he wasn't in control of himself.

And although he wasn't actually 'angry' when he was about to phase, he was a very angry man lately.

The fact that he couldn't stop phasing really bothered him, it was the first thing on his mind in the morning and the last thing on his mind at night. He was driving himself insane with the desperation to stop. I even suggested he try next year, but all he did was shout at me. Pissed off with me for even thinking the idea.

Our house wasn't exactly the happiest in La Push.

Wiping my hands over my apron, I walked into the living room and found him sitting on the floor, back against the wall. Eyes hard as they stared off into nothing. "Jacob." I sighed. "Maybe you should just stop thinking about it so much. It'll eventually stop, you know that. Don't get so worked up about it."

His dark, watery eyes snapped up to mine. "_Stop thinking about it so much?_ What are you? Blind? How am I supposed to stop thinking about it when I phase all the fucking time! you have no idea, _no idea_, what I'm going through."

"There's no need to talk to me like that," I said, looking away. "And you'll wake the kids."

"They're fine," he spat. "I just hope, oh I really hope, that Nile doesn't turn out like me. Hell, I hope Jacqueline doesn't either. Look at Leah… ugh."

Turning on my heel, I began to walk away from him. There really was no point in talking to him, we had the same conversation every day. He was too angry to get through. "Goodnight, Jacob."

When I made it into our bedroom, I shut the door softly behind me and began to undress. Silent tears streaming down my face. It wasn't that I was angry or hurt or sad, I was just miserable. I hated seeing him struggle and I hated how it was effecting our relationship. We hardly spoke, hardly saw each other and we didn't sleep together. The last time he made love to me was weeks ago. Which was a very, very depressing thing.

I knew that it wasn't because I disgusted him or anything. He loved me, just as much as he always did, but his mind was occupied with other things. Or should I say, _phasing_. And I wished that he could just stop. If he could do that, then things would go back to normal.

Switching off the lamp, I slipped into bed and lay down.

I dreamed I was seventeen again.

* * *

"Nina," a voice whispered into my ear, softly. "Nina, Nina, Nina….."

My eyes snapped open and I rolled onto my back, my gaze locking with Jacob's. "J-Jake?"

"I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that treatment from me," he said, pressed up against my side.

"It's OK," I told him, sleepily. Eyelids threatening to close.

He shook his head, cupping my cheek in his hand. "Since when is crying OK?"

"I didn't-"

"I can smell your tears, Nee."

"Jake, I… I'm just sorry for you. What you said to me earlier, I'm not hurt, I know that you didn't mean to be.. harsh. You're just going through a hard time. I cried out of misery, that's all."

Looking away from me, he swallowed thickly and remained silent for a moment. In the darkness, I could make out that he his expression was an unhappy one. But I was too tired to think of something to say, my brain wasn't functioning properly.

"I never want you to be miserable," he said thickly, meeting my drowsy gaze again.

"Jake," I smiled weakly, eyelids finally shutting. "Sleep."

"No," he whispered. "No, no, no."

I could feel him whip the blankets off me, throw a leg over me and begin to undo the buttons on my pajama shirt. At that moment, I wasn't in the mood for anything but sleep. Not even when his wet lips closed over my taut nipple. But the sounds of his suckling began to wake me, reminding me of our more intimate times.

"Jacob."

He moaned in response, swiping his tongue all around my swollen areola and used his hand on my neglected one.

That's when I reached for the bedside lamp and switched it on, causing him to stop what he was doing and look up at me. "Jacob this- this is wrong." I reached down and pulled my shirt over my exposed breasts. "You haven't touched me for a while now and this is not the way I want us to come together again. I'll only be hurt tomorrow when you get angry and I'll start missing you like I did. Not that I don't miss you, I do, but it's not as hard as it was. A month ago, it killed me not having you around much. Not having you next to me in bed. Not having you to talk to whenever I wanted. But I'm coping, for you. So please don't come here tonight and make passionate love to me when you know that tomorrow things won't have changed. Please."

"Alright," he mumbled with a nod and crawled off of me, out of the bed.

I reached for his hand and in turn, he looked down at me. "You understand, don't you?" I asked, hopefully.

"I do," he said and with that, left the room.

* * *

"Mommy, Nile put worms in my school bag again," Jacqueline told me, upset.

She stood in the middle of the kitchen, dressed in her yellow pajamas and pink socks. Holding out the bag in disgust. Looking as adorable as she did when she was born. When I thought she looked like her father as a newborn, I never imagined she'd look so alike him as she got older. There was no denying she was Jacob's daughter. From the long, shiny, straight, black hair to the sunny smile. She was the spitting image of him. My mother still couldn't get over it six years later.

I smiled, despite the fact that it wasn't happy situation. "Just set that down on the table and I'll look after it. Okay?"

She did as she was told and looked up at me again. "But mommy I don't want him to do it again. There was a worm in my school bag yesterday and it was on my copybook and the teacher saw it. She was angry and she thought I did it and I told her that it wasn't my fault and she didn't believe me and-"

"Look, honey, the teacher is overreacting, okay? I'll try and speak to Nile, but you have to remember he's only three. He doesn't understand everything. Now you go and get dressed for school like a good girl, I left you clean clothes on your bed."

And like the good girl she was, she simply nodded and went to do as I told.

"Nile, come here," I called, standing by the back door. Watching him sitting in the grass mesmerized by the snails and worms on the ground.

Three years ago, Jacob and I finally married. The wedding ceremony was no big deal, we had it in a little church just ten minutes away and afterwards we headed back to our place for food. We celebrated in the big back yard we shared with Billy. Emily and Kim helped me prepare the meals the night before, so it was all organized. All in all, we kept it pretty simple, deciding we didn't want to go overboard. After all, it was the honeymoon we were _really_ looking forward to.

Just like Jacob had told me that one night before we were engaged, he took me to a warm and beautiful place: Hawaii.

It was incredible, really, really incredible. The holiday resort, the beaches, the weather, the people, the food, everything was just fantastic. And one-hundred million times more beautiful than I was. Of course Jacob denied that, but he imprinted on me, what do I expect? Anyway, we spent two-weeks there and it was after all the love we made in hotel room 241, that I discovered I was pregnant with our second child.

Nile was beautiful, both inside and out. Unlike Jacqueline, he was very quiet, whereas she was very bubbly and lively. There was never a word out of him, he only communicated with us whenever he wanted something. Usually, he'd spend his days playing alone with his toys. But sometimes, he'd sneak out the back door if it was open and play with the worms…. Which I didn't want him doing. He was too young to be alone out there. However, all in all, I never had any problems with him. Not even when he was a baby, he was so good, hardly ever cried.

When he was born, Jacob and I couldn't make out who he looked like. And when he was a couple of months old, Jacob thought he looked like me. But he soon changed his mind when Nile turned one and told me he didn't have any idea who he looked like. Up until this day we still don't know who he takes after. Yes, he has black hair like Jacob's and chocolate brown eyes like mine, but his features aren't like either of us. Perhaps he looked like one of his ancestors? Or a distant relation? Either way, he was such a cute child. I was blessed with my children.

Since Nile ignored me and instead, took fistfuls of mud in his hands, I headed over to him and lifted him up. Balancing him on my hip. "You're not to come out here, Nile. It's dangerous. Anything could happen to you."

But he wouldn't look up at me, he just stared down at the ground, his lower lip quivering. If there was anything that made Nile cry, it was being told no. Which he wasn't told that often because he was a good kid. And I hated to see him cry, I hated seeing any of my children cry, but this was what being a mother was all about, wasn't it?

Taking him back inside and making sure to shut the back door, I took him into the living-room and put on Nick Junior for him. His favorite channel. At first, he wouldn't let go of me when I started to put him down, but he seemed to see something he liked on the TV and forgot about me. Letting me go instantly.

"Mommy, my hair," Jacqueline said miserably when I entered her room.

Apparently she'd been trying to tie it back in a bun but only ended up with bed-head and a massive knot. So like I did every morning, I sat down on her bed and placed her in front of me. Working on her beautiful hair.

"Hi," Jacob said, appearing in the doorway. Earning a squeal from his daughter.

"Daddy!" she cheered happily, with a clap.

I smiled at her enthusiasm, she was very alike him in her ways.

"Hey honey, you getting ready for school?"

"Yes daddy, are you taking me today?"

My eyes shout up to meet his, I didn't like the thought of him almost phasing while he drove her. But he broke eye contact with me immediately and smiled over at his daughter. "Yeah, I'll take you tomorrow too and the day after and the day after that, sound good?"

She squealed again and bounced up on the bed, while I bit my lip in an attempt to hide my feelings. I could feel Jacob's eyes on me though, burning holes all over my face. Yet, he never said a word. What was wrong with him?

When I finished doing her hair up, she left the room to use the toilet. Which left me and Jacob alone.

"Nothing will happen," he told me, voice distant. Cold almost. "I'm her father, I can control myself better than you think."

"Better than that time in the park?" I asked him. "Better than that time in Sam and Emily's? Better than that time we ordered pizza and-"

Taking two long steps into the room, he growled down at me. "That's enough."

"No, Jacob. This isn't one of those silly games we had when we were younger, this is serious. We have children and you can't ever put yourself before them. They come first. They're more important than us. And it's our responsibility to make sure no harm comes to them. You're not to take her to school if you're not one-hundred percent sure you're not going to phase."

Stuffing his hands into his jean pockets, he looked away from me. "I'm one-hundred percent sure I'm not going to phase."

"Look me in the eye and say it."

"Nina, you know I wouldn't lie-"

Grabbing his wrist, I said again. "Look me in the eye and say it, Jacob."

So he sat down next to me on the bed and looked me in the eye. "I'm one-hundred percent positive that I will not phase. Happy now?"

"No," I said honestly. "How are you here anyway, aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"What? Are you not happy to see me or something?" he asked, hurt.

I shook my head. "I'm just wondering."

Jacob was now the boss at work. He earned the promotion five months ago and I still count that as one of the happiest days of my life. I couldn't believe it when he told me, it was too good to be true. My Jacob, my husband, my wolf was in charge. Just like how he was born to be a leader. The pay was great too, we hardly ever ran low on cash anymore.

"I took the week off," he told me, searching my eyes. Looking to see if I was glad he'd be around during the mornings.

But I put on my poker face, it was easier to cope that way. "Oh."

Reaching for my hand, he placed it on his thigh. "Nee," he whispered softly. "Do you know how much I love you?"

"Jacob."

"Do you doubt my love for you?" sliding closer to me, he dipped his face so that it was level with mine. "Do you? Nee? Please tell me you don't, I love you more every day. I'm so sorry I'm never around these days, and I'm really, really sorry that you're miserable. That's why I took time off, so we can be together. You're so lonely, Nee. I can see it in your face."

A tear escaped the corner of my eye and I couldn't hide from him anymore. "Jacob, I miss you."

"Oh Nee-"

"Daddy I'm ready," Jacqueline said, walking into her bedroom and taking his hand. She looked at me then and her expression changed. "Is mommy OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, honey. An eyelash fell into my eye, that's all. I'll be fine."

"Are you all better now? Did daddy help you?"

I forced a smile. "Yeah, daddy helped me. Isn't he so good?"

She nodded in agreement. "I love daddy. I love you too mommy."

Getting up off the bed, I bent down to kiss her cheek. "And I love you, have a good day at school, OK? I left your school bag by the front door."

"OK, mommy."

And with that, I left the room and headed back into the kitchen. Cooking was a good way to stop thinking.

* * *

Nile was fast asleep when I returned to the living-room after spending a good half-hour in the kitchen. His little body laying upon the floor, looking so uncomfortable. I instantly felt guilty for leaving him alone for so long, he was so young and needed to be checked on every ten minutes. What kind of mother was I? So caught up in her own thoughts that she forgets about her three-year-old son.

Taking him up into my arms carefully, as to not wake him, I set him down on the sofa and placed a cushion beneath his head. Just as he smiled in his sleep. My poor baby, how long had he been laying on the floor? Ten minutes? Twenty?

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, I draped a sheet over him and muted the TV.

Outside, I could hear a car pull up and at the same time, a door slam. Rushing into the hall, I pulled the front door open to find Jacob bent-double in pain. Every bone in his body rattling, reading to burst into the wolf he no longer wanted to be.

"Jacob," I gasped, reaching for his shoulder. "Come inside, quickly."

"Get away from me," he hissed, bloodshot eyes shooting up to mine. "Go!"

I took hold of his other shoulder and shook my head. "No, Jacob. I'm not letting you do this alone, not anymore. Please, just come inside."

"Nile," he said weakly, grabbing hold of my hip. Looking about to collapse.

"No, Nile will be fine. I know you wouldn't hurt him, he's your baby. Our baby. Our flesh and blood. You wouldn't do that, ever."

Of course, anything could happen and when Jacob turned wolf, it took a moment to gather your thoughts. I didn't like the thought of him phasing inside the house with Nile there, let alone myself, but maybe if I tried to help Jacob stop… maybe he wouldn't phase. Everyone needs support and just because my husband happens to be a shape-shifter, doesn't mean I can't help him. I can. I'd do anything for him.

And I know, even though I worry about it, that he wouldn't ever hurt his own child.

Giving in to me, he allowed himself to be dragged into the house and into the bathroom. A place where if he phased, it wouldn't be so easy to break things.

"Nina," he moaned, falling to his knees. Russet skin turning a shade of red. "Get out of here, honey, please."

But I refused and instead, started to undress him. Knowing that if he burst into a wolf, his new clothes would be destroyed like they had been a hundred times. Trying to get the t-shirt over his head was almost impossible, but I managed somehow and the jeans… that was even harder.

"I'm not giving up on you," I told him, standing in front of him and holding his head to my chest.

His breathing was erratic and he was starting to convulse. At first, I was afraid there was something wrong with him. But when he wrapped his arms around me and clung to me like there was no tomorrow, I remembered that there was nothing wrong. He was just fighting the urge to phase. And that I was going to help him until the end.

However, we were nowhere near the end of things.

Jacob's lips parted and he let out an ear piercing scream of agony. Just as I noticed the change in his body temperature. He was boiling. My ears rang with the sound and my heart almost leapt out of my chest with fright, but I told myself to say strong. I told myself to be the strong mother I was to my children and not the lovesick Nina Black that woke up every morning with a smile on her face, overly happy with the fact that she was married to mister perfect.

"Don't concentrate on it so much, Jacob. Just will it to go away and think of other things, like our walks on the beach with the children, our honeymoon, your childhood. The good things in life. Remember you delivered Jacqueline? That's a moment that will be forever burned into my memory. It was just so.. wonderful, so you. You're so special, I love you."

His fingers dug into my shirt and into my skin, hurting me. But I put up with the pain. It was the least I could do.

"Remember when we moved into this place and your dad took our old place? Remember how I cried? That was so silly of me, it's not like I could never go in there again. But I guess that house held so many memories. Like watching Jacqueline growing into a beautiful child and watching my tummy swell again with Nile. And you." I ran my fingers through his long, silky hair. "There's so many memories of you. Like how we watched our favorite shows at night, curled up on the sofa and how we'd cook together, I mean you're basically an expert in the kitchen now. But I'll never forget that bedroom, Jacob. How you'd come home to me some nights after patrolling and slip into bed and tell me some of the amusing things the pack had to say. And then you'd kiss me goodnight and sometimes that wasn't enough. An hour later we'd end up in the backyard, drinking hot chocolate and watching the moon disappear and reappear in the sky. They were special to me, Jake."

For a moment, his convulsing stopped and he remained still. All I could hear was his breathing. And I thought I had done it, that I had stopped the urge, but it came back too quick for that even to be a possibility. Not only that, but it came back full force and I found myself laying on the cold, tiled floor, the air knocked out of me.

And in my shaken state, I pushed myself back up, my vision out of focus. It took me a while to sort of go back to normal and when I did, I almost knocked my head off the sink in a hurry to get to Jacob. Who was laying face-down on the floor, unconscious.

"Jacob! Wake up, honey, it's OK." I rolled him onto his back and cupped his cheek in my hand while my other shook his shoulder. "You're still you, honey, you're still you. Wake up now, please. It's going to be OK."

But Jacob wasn't responding, he was completely out.

So with all my might, I dragged him over to the bath and sat him against it. My mind working so fast that I forgot all my fears and all my worries. Jumping into the bath myself, I turned the water onto cold and grabbed the showerhead. Water gushing out of it, soaking my clothes. But that was the least of my problems, and so I jumped back out and sat on my husband's lap. Directing the water over his head, so that it flowed down his burning body. Him and I both completely drenched.

The tiled floor slowly turned into a pool, as I set the showerhead down on the floor and begged him to wake up. And as much as I didn't want to acknowledge it, I noticed that his skin was turning an ugly shade of yellow. Never a good sign, especially when one's not alert.

"Jake, baby, please wake up. I love you," I choked out, my whole body shaking with fear. "And the kids love you and your father loves you and your sisters and the pack and everyone. Even your colleagues love you, because you're such a good boss. Please wake up, I can't go on without you."

Every minute that passed felt like a lifetime, and I was becoming weaker. I was no longer the mother of the house, I was lovesick Nina again. My voice fading away to nothing as I tried to speak. To me, Jacob didn't look like he was going to wake up. And his bodily temperature was no longer scorching hot, but cold. Too cold.

So with the strength I had, I removed myself from his lap and switched the water to warm. But this time I pushed him down onto the floor, lay the showerhead on his abdomen and stripped out of my own clothes.

"Don't leave me," I whispered a little while later. Laying on top of him, my cheek pressed to his heart as tears streamed down my cheeks. "Don't leave me, I'm nothing without you."

* * *

At five o'clock that evening, I was closed in on myself, sitting on the kitchen floor with my arms wrapped around my legs, rocking myself back and forth.

"Nina, take this, please. You'll feel better," Emily said softly, holding a steaming mug of coffee out to me.

But I shut her out. I didn't want the coffee, I wanted Jacob.

Earlier, when nothing seemed to be working, I phoned Sam. The pack arrived immediately with Carlisle Cullen, the vampire doctor that had once repaired Jacob's broken bones. And taking Jacob out of the flooded bathroom, they brought him into our bedroom. Making sure to lock the door behind them.

As his imprint, his best friend, his wife, I wanted to be in there. No, I needed to be in there. But there was no letting me in, Carlisle needed to focus and with a crying girl by the bedside, that wouldn't be possible.

Sam told me that this had never happened before and when a worried Billy arrived, he said the same thing.

And now, four hours later, Jacob was still unconscious. The vampire doctor had already left two hours ago and told me nothing- Billy's wishes- so I didn't know whether or not Jacob was going to be OK. But I didn't beg for anyone to tell me, because I was afraid. What if it was terrible news?

Jacqueline and Nile had been taken to Kim and Jared's place for the day, and although I didn't want them to see me in such a bad state, I missed them. I wanted to hug them and tell them I loved them, that they meant the world to me. But they were better off away from home. Away from all the misery.

"Nina," Billy said, reaching out to me. "Jacob may not be alert, but he still needs you. Go in and see him, I'll make sure no one disturbs you."

After the doctor was done, I was permitted to stay with Jacob, but the fear in me wouldn't allow me to. Four hours was a very long time to sit around worrying about your husband's life and it had really driven me insane. I didn't think I'd be able to just sit next to the bed, _our_ _bed_, and speak to him as if he were conscious. It was too depressing, too scary. What if…

Emily shut the door behind me and I stood in the middle of the room, staring over at his lifeless body in the bed. A white sheet pulled up to his chest as he lay still, long hair sprawled out around his white pillow. The color of his skin _almost_ back to normal.

There was a chair next to his side of the bed, but of course I couldn't take it, I'd never _sit_ next to him when he was unwell. Which was never, given his high metabolism. But this would be the first time and slipping into the bed, I curled up against his side. Telling myself that I'd do this with him whenever he was sick, even if he only had a cold.

"All this because you fought the wolf inside of you," I whispered, mostly to myself. "Maybe it was my fault, maybe I shouldn't have tried to help you. Maybe I made things worse."

* * *

Do shape-shifters become more human when they stop shifting? I didn't know, but I did know that his body temperature was cooler. Almost the same as mine and according to Dr. Cullen- who stopped by again during the late hours of night- that was a good sign. But Jacob hadn't woken up, so I didn't believe anything could be good unless he opened his eyes.

"Doctor," I said, rushing up to him as he was about to leave the house. "Earlier, Jacob's father asked you not to tell me anything, was there really anything to say? Because I deserve to know, I'm his wife."

His golden eyes softened. "No, I'm afraid not.."

"Do you… do you think he's dying?" I forced out, my hands shaking.

"Well, to be completely honest with you, we're at an early stage now. This could get worse or it could get better. His bodily temperature has improved, which is good. So we'll see how things are tomorrow. And don't hesitate to phone me if you feel there's been any changes, I'm always awake." He smiled.

I nodded. "Thank you, thank you very much. This means.. everything to me."

When he disappeared into the night, I locked the door behind him and made my way back into the bedroom. I told Jacob I loved him, over and over, and I kissed his face countless times, conveying that love I had for him.

And then I escaped into the kitchen to cry. Beating myself up for not kissing him that much on the mornings he was awake and well. Why was it that you realized what you had until it was gone? I mean of course I knew Jacob was special, he was my everything. But it was at times like these that you wonder why you didn't give your beloved as much attention as you should've.

I threw a glass against the wall, angry with myself.

I threw a plate against the floor, frustrated,

I threw more culinary across the room because I had to. I just had to.

And somewhere in the house, I heard more things being thrown around, which was frightening. Scary. But as I entered the hallway, I knew the sound was coming from our bedroom. So I rushed down to it and pushed the door open, staring into the room with wide eyes.

Most of our belongings were on the floor. Either smashed, broken or damaged. The heavy scent of a perfume Jacob had bought me filling the room, it's bottle no longer in one piece anymore. Floral liquid sinking into the carpet. And next to it lay my favorite necklace. One that he made for me when I gave birth to Nile. I couldn't let him ruin it.. ruin everything.

But it wasn't safe for me to go inside, was it? Jacob was standing in the middle of the room, his body shaking and his hands balled into fists. Sculpted back to me. Both him and the room taking on a blue glow from the little light the moon offered, spilling in through the windows.

Then, almost like he knew I was always there, he looked over his shoulder directly into my eyes. His ones watery and glazed over. Crazy. So unlike him.

I brought a shaky hand up to my mouth in shock. "Jake," I whispered.

He turned, kicked my jewelry box out of the way and made his way over to me. Wearing an expression on his face I couldn't understand. Not to mention, his breathing was in no way normal, very heavy and his throat was making a funny noise. Scratchy. As though he had an infection or something.

"Don't run away from me," he said deeply, when I took a step back. "You belong to me. You're mine. I own you."

Insane.

But I played it cool. "I'm hungry, are you hungry?"

"Hungry?" he repeated, cocking his head to the side. Finally standing directly in front of me.

"I'll go cook us something," I said quickly, then spun around. Desperate to get away. To call someone. Sam, Carlisle, anyone.

Jacob was fast though, and strong. He gripped my arm and pulled me against him. My back burning from the heat of his naked torso as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. Giving me no hope of ever breaking free of his hold.

"I'm not hungry," he whispered, dipping his head so that his lips brushed my ear. Wet with his saliva… "I want… I want…" he paused, seemingly thinking over what he was about to say. And then surprised me by releasing me.

I stood in front of him for a moment, wondering what his next move was, but he never said anything. Or did anything, for that matter. So I took a deep, shaky breath and began towards the kitchen again. Not even taking the chance to look back at him, afraid of making eye contact.

When I started on the first pancake, I wondered how I was going to call Sam with Jacob in the house. With his shape-shifter hearing senses, he'd know if I picked up the phone and the only way I could text anyone was if I retrieved my mobile from Jacqueline's bedroom where I'd left it that morning. But he'd see me and know something was up.

Oh, I wish my Jacob came back to me. He was so confused and different and reckless and scary, all at the same time. I hoped that it was just for now, that maybe if I got him to go sleep again, he'd wake up normal. What if he was sleepwalking? Too many possibilities, I needed a doctor. I needed Carlisle right now.

My poor Jacob.

A tear trickled down my cheek, just as he appeared in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. Watching me with sparkly eyes and a smile. "I guess I might be a little hungry," he said, voice calmer than it had been minutes ago.

I glanced over at him and flashed him the best smile I could muster, before turning back to flipping my pancake over. "And I guess you want chocolate syrup as your topping, right?"

"No, nothing. I don't want any topping, plain is great."

This struck me as weird. Jacob loved chocolate syrup.

When I was done, I set a plate down on the table for him and gestured for him to sit down. Which he obliged to, giving me a big smile.

"I'll be right back, okay? Just going to the bathroom," I told him and then scurried out of the kitchen, into Jacqueline's room.

My mobile was on the bed where I'd left it, but just as luck would have it, the battery was empty.

Cursing under my breath, I shoved it down my pocket and turned to leave the room.

Jacob was right behind me.

"Oh!" I screeched, startled.

He gave me a once over before meeting my eyes. "You told me you were going to the bathroom."

"I… I did." I lied. "But-"

"You're lying, you didn't. I can't smell-" he sniffed the air "-bathroom off you, I didn't even hear you go in there. Why are you lying? And what are you doing with that?" he reached for my apron pocket, but I pushed his hands away. "Stop! Nina! Let me-"

"Get away from me!" I hissed, ducking under his arm and popping up on the other side of the room. _Where the door was._

Not bothering to wait for his reply, I ran out of the room, out the back door and out into the open. The dark, dull, freezing open. Where I was sure he would catch me, given his inhuman speed. Unless I found somewhere to hide. But then again, he'd smell me wouldn't he? I was really taking my chances. Who knew what this Jacob was capable of doing.

"Nina!" he roared, running after me. Pulling the back-door open with such force, that it fell off it's hinges.

I only made it into the dark confines of the wood when I was yanked by the arm and forced to the stony, mucky floor. Jacob on top of me, hand down my pocket, fumbling for my mobile. As I cried for him to get off of me, to let me go, to leave me alone.

When he brought it to his face and realized that the battery was dead, he hurled it against a tree. Shattering it to pieces. His breathing heavy, nostrils flared and teeth bared for me. The anger in his eyes almost unbearable to watch. He'd never ever looked at me like that in all the years I'd known him.

"Why did you do that, why did you run away from me? All because of that… that… piece of fucking junk!" He shook my shoulders carelessly. "Do you not love me? huh? Is that more important than I am? Huh! Speak to me!"

But I couldn't speak, I was too upset. Too afraid.

Jacob got up off me then and pulled me up, throwing me over his shoulder. Where I didn't struggle. What was the point? I was practically bound to him by these invisible ropes the imprint created. If I ran, he'd catch me. If I hid, he'd find me. Not to mention, pick up my scent. I couldn't help myself, I was just this useless human girl. I needed one of the pack members to get me out of this situation. Jacob was _not_ himself.

Reaching his destination, Second Beach, he lay me down on the freezing shoreline. The salty water crashing against my side, soaking me. And as I waited for his next move, I stared up at the stars and focused on just one. I remembered him telling me once that if you hold your gaze on one star, the rest disappear. That's how I felt about him whenever we were in a crowd, he was the only one I saw. Everyone else was just a blur, part of the scene. But he was the star. My star.

I tasted salt on my lips, though I couldn't tell whether it was from my tears or from the sea. Nina Black, she cried a lot. Why? I don't know. My mother once told me that the least little thing upset me. Maybe I was just a little over-sensitive. And the problem with that was, people hardly noticed me when I cried, it was such a regular occurrence. Just like the boy who cried wolf.. well not exactly, but when the wolf really did turn up, no one thought anything of it. Like me. I'm crying now because I'm afraid of losing my husband. And if anyone could see me, they mightn't take me as seriously as I'm feeling.

I'm such a mess. And I miss my babies. I wonder what they're doing now?

It was only two minutes later when I realized how silent it was. Pushing myself up into a sitting position, I scanned the beach for Jacob, but he was nowhere to be found. And when you can't find someone on the beach, you panic. What if they're in the sea? What if they're drowning? What if they're sinking?

But the thought of Jacob drowning seemed impossible to me, I hadn't even heard him splash into the water.

And when I scrambled to my feet, did I call him? No.

I ran.

* * *

"This is all your fault!" Jacob roared at me, eyes burning with anger as Sam, Paul and Jared dragged him down the hall. Into an extra bedroom Emily cleared the instant I told them what was going on.

He was dripping wet, as though he'd been swimming. But I couldn't recall ever seeing him in the water. It was so strange.

"Nina, come here," Emily said, tugging me into the kitchen by the hand. "Don't worry, this is just something he's going through. It's not permanent."

I took a seat at the dining table and held my face in my hands, trying to make sense of everything. "Emily I'm scared."

"I know you are, but he passed out this morning. There's a reason for his behavior. Perhaps he woke up confused and his thoughts are all jumbled together. I'm sure there's an explanation."

"He hates me," I mumbled, remembering the look he gave me. Filled with anger and betrayal.

"He doesn't hate you," another voice said behind me, Quil's. "It's just-" he chewed "-the wolf has ninety-nine percent control of his brain. So he's kind of, let's say.. hmm, looking at things in a new perspective. In a more animalistic way. You're just a mate to him really and we're all just annoying pests and he's hungry and confused and oh, _in_ _heat_."

"Quil!" Emily hissed. "This is no time for jokes."

He swallowed loudly. "Just sayin'. Anyway yeah, I think it's from fighting back the urge to phase. So he's in human form, but thinking in a wolfish mind. Probably because he's alpha, kinda harder for him to give up shifting. He'll probably be back to normal tomorrow. If not.. we'll just dump him out in the wilderness and let him be."

Turns out everything Quil said was true. Jacob was using his animal mind. Only that one-percent of humanness giving him the ability to talk, remember our names and to distinguish between each of us. We didn't need Dr. Cullen for this, the Elders came over instead with a doctor of their own. I had no clue what they were doing to Jacob, but he was quiet so that was a good thing.

At three in the morning, I woke up from a nightmare and remembered where I was. Sam and Emily's. I took the couch for the night, just to be close to Jacob. But the couch wasn't close enough, even though he wasn't really himself.

Quietly, I opened the door into the bedroom he was sleeping in and then closed it behind me, just as quietly. The room smelt of incense and herbs and medicine and a whole lot of other things I couldn't put a name to. And he lay on his back in a double-bed, looking peacefully asleep. Oh Jacob.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and stared. Seconds turning into minutes and minutes turning into hours. And throughout the whole night, he never moved nor spoke. Just lay there, peacefully. I hoped he was healing.

"Is he alright? Is he OK? I tried to get here as fast as I could. Hell, even Paul has no idea I'm here. Where is he? I wanna see him, my poor brother."

Rachel Black was in a bad state after she received a phone call from Paul, telling her how Jacob was. Billy wasn't too pleased, thinking it was unnecessary to frighten her like that when it could be just a twenty-four hour thing. That's Paul for you.

But even his own sister couldn't bring him back to normal. He was still his wolfish self.

"He looks OK, but- but there's something awfully wrong with him. Like he's not the Jacob, just someone who looks like him. Tell me he'll be alright," Rachel begged Paul, the couple sitting next to me on the sofa. "Rebecca doesn't even know yet, I'm hoping we don't have to tell her."

I left the room then, unable to listen to Rachel's worries about Jacob. It was too hard, like listening to your most frightening thoughts. One's you tried to block. So I went into Emily's homey kitchen and almost ran back out. Almost.

Jacob was sitting at the table, eating three fried eggs and toast. Well, _was_ sitting at the table until I made my entrance.

"Nina, I'm sorry," he blurted out, jumping to his feet. A sincere look on his beautiful face.

I stood there in surprise, not knowing what to do.. to say. Words just weren't developing in my mind and Jacob… he seemed normal. But wouldn't Sam have told me he was better? Maybe he didn't realize.. maybe I'm the first person to speak to a recovered Jacob. Or maybe I was imagining things…

As though I was in some sort of daze, I walked up to him like a robot and wrapped my arms around his waist. Holding onto him. My face smashed up against his chest. Breath coming out in short gasps. I was in that place between fainting and hyperventilating. It was strange, frightening. But Jacob did things to me that no one could, even without touching me. And I was so afraid, terrified, that I'd lost him forever.

His strong arms, the arms I loved, wrapped around me unsurely. Like I was some porcelain doll and just one touch would shatter me. He kissed the top of my head, once, twice. Breathed me in, like I was his oxygen, and then hummed a Quileute song to me. Why? I didn't know, he hardly ever did that. Perhaps he was picking up on my distress? Like normal.

Normal, normal, normal.

"Honey," he whispered after he finished his song. "I need to tell you something.."

"T-Tell me then," I managed to say.

"It's been on my mind for quite some time now and I was afraid of telling you, mainly because it wasn't planned. And I'm tired of ignoring that sound… it's beautiful. It makes me happy, I want you to be happy with me."

Closing my eyes, I prepared for his revelation. "Tell me, Jake."

"You're pregnant," he told me, finally. Voice shaky. "I can hear it's heartbeat."

This revelation was followed by a gasp, hands falling to my tummy and a step back. My mind even more confused than it was, another weight on my shoulders. Not that I didn't want the child, I did, of course I did. But the news was too much for me to bear right then and there. Too much when I wasn't sure my husband was really himself.

"Isn't this great, honey? I know, trust me, I know it wasn't planned but well.. we've always expressed how we wanted more children in the future. So this couldn't really be a surprise right? I mean, you want this, don't you? _Our_ child."

I fell into the seat he was sitting on minutes ago and stared down at the floor. "Yeah, Jacob, this.. I'm just so.. so… I'm speechless."

Crouching next to me, he peered up into my eyes. "Honey let's take a walk. Just me and you and our… baby."

Ten minutes later, I found myself walking through the woods with Jacob. A Jacob I didn't know.

* * *

**One Year Later**

"Mommy, where's daddy?" Jacqueline asked me for the third time that night. Her worried eyes staring up at me, searching for an answer.

"I don't know," I whispered back, careful not to wake the sleeping baby in my arms.

"But mommy, what if-"

"Jacqueline shush!" I hissed, growing irritated. "I don't where he is OK? I never know where he is, he could be in Canada now for all I know. Now just.. just go. Go to bed."

Teary eyed and hurt, she left the bedroom. Clutching her favorite rag doll to her chest.

A part of me was sorry for the way I spoke to her, but the other was just too stressed to care. Between looking after baby Jack and putting up with Jacob and his odd ways, I was in a really, really bad state. I cried myself to sleep every night, I didn't talk much to anyone, I'd lost loads of weight and sometimes I just wanted to disappear. And then I'd remember the children.

Jacob never went back to normal and for the past thirteen months, I had to live with his new self. In the beginning, when the months passed and things weren't looking any better, I let myself go. Looking back, I must've seemed like a complete lunatic. I even had to have the children taken away from me for over a month. The pain of losing my Jacob was unbearable. It was like he was dead.

And the Jacob that had taken his place was like him and not like him. He was a mess. The only thing that went in his favor was that he never phased, couldn't. Not since the day in the bathroom. Hell, I couldn't even walk into that bathroom in the beginning. It was too hard, too heartbreaking.

Yes, I still loved him and yes, we had a few good times. Some days he'd be better than others, more normal. More Jacob. He'd take me out, spoil me, tell me how much he loved me. And as much as I didn't want to, I made love to him. But it just wasn't the same, it wasn't… Jacob. He didn't even remember certain things and he wasn't too great with the children, most of the time he ignored them. And I had to live with that.

I had to accept the fact that _my_ Jacob, that my children's father, was not coming back.

With a sigh, I lowered Jack down into his crib and told him I loved him. Even though he couldn't hear or understand me. He, like Jacqueline, was the image of his father. And now at his seventh month, he was even more like him. Amazing. Jacob's genes were definitely more dominant than mine.

Glancing over at the alarm clock, I decided I should just go to bed and get the day over with. There was no point in staying awake, Jacob wouldn't be home until who knows when and I wasn't going to wait up for him. I had before though, worried. But he'd return in perfect condition, although sometimes he'd be in a weird mood. The angry wolf mood. Where he'd throw things around and shout…

In bed, I closed my eyes and fell into a dream where Jacob was _my_ Jacob. With that perfect human mind of his and not the animal one. And in my sleep I cried. Because I wanted him back, I missed him so much. A year was too long without him.

My eyes fluttered open when I was awoken by someone rolling me onto my back and for just a second, our gazes locked. His brown eyes… and then his lips were upon mine, kissing me with such devotion, such passion, such love.

It took me one second to realize.

"Jacob!" I gasped, when he came up for air. "Jacob! J-Jac…" I trailed off, bursting into tears.

His own tears dripped onto my lips. "You waited," he whispered shakily. "You waited."

"I would've waited forever, Jake."

Then we were kissing again, touching each other, pulling at each other's clothes. Not even when we became one did I feel it was enough. A year without him made me hungry. Starving. I was starving for him. He was starving for me. We were starving for each other.

I'd starve for him forever.

* * *

"… the wolf in me took over, changing me, turning me into an animal. A beast. Someone who was irresponsible, reckless, dangerous. There was a part of me that knew, that knew that I was a man with a beautiful wife and equally beautiful children. A man that had responsibilities, a job, a family, brothers and sisters. But like any animal, I couldn't see things properly, the way humans do. When I looked into my wife, my _imprint's_ eyes, that one percentage of me that was still a man felt love, but the other part of me, the more powerful part of me, saw a mate. It didn't matter if I hurt her feelings, made her unhappy, as long as I got what I wanted that was what was important. And my children.. I paid them no attention." He paused, eyes gazing over at the baby in my arms, tears forming. "Not even the special baby my wife gave me. And although it kills me to think I spent a whole year in that state, I know that I'll never have to go through it again. The wolf in me is gone, I'm no longer part of the pack I once belonged to. Unlike my brothers, I now grow older with age and my healing isn't half as effective as theirs. I'm human now, fully human. And I'm ready to start a life I've always dreamed of. A life with my beloved, Nina Black and our children, Jacqueline, Nile and Jack. Thank you for your support."

He left his seat by the bonfire and escaped all the gazes upon him, to return to me. That smile I loved, flashing white at me in the darkness. The soft wind blowing over him, causing his long hair to flow behind him, while his black shirt clung to his perfect body. His dark nipples visible beneath the fabric, although it wasn't see-through.

"Tell me how much that meant to you later tonight," he whispered, pressing a kiss to my forehead, before taking Jack out of my arms.

Sitting next to me against the log, he cooed over his seven-month-old son, love shining in his eyes.

"Jake, I… I'm still not able to believe you're you. The real you, I swear, my insides are all over the place. I'm sort of in a state of shock."

He cradled Jack to his chest and turned to look at me. "Is it true?" he asked, randomly. "Tell me, Nee. Is it true that when an imprint loses her wolf, she wants to.. die? I mean I know I wasn't dead, but I wasn't really me, was I? so are the stories true? Did you feel that way or even.. close to it?"

I nodded, not needing a second to think it over. "Oh, Jake I wanted to disappear from this world. To leave it, I was in such a bad way over you. Do you remember when Jared and Kim took the kids from us?"

"Yeah," he replied, thoughtfully. "I do."

Jacob couldn't remember everything that happened over the past year, only the thoughts he'd had while he was thinking in his human brain.

"After that, I told myself to stop, because the kids needed me. And they're the only thing that really kept me going. Them and the fact that you weren't dead, which gave me hope. I guess I was living on love and hope, Jake."

"I promise you won't have to go through anything like that again," he said, sincerely. "And Nee, that morning.. the morning you lost me for a while. Remember how I took a week off work? Well, I was going to take you out that night. Leave the kids with Seth, so we could spend a night in a hotel and there I was going to break the news to you.. about this little angel here." He patted Jack on the back. "And I was going to apologize for being distant, for being such a terrible husband to you-"

"Jake, you weren't-"

"_A terrible husband to you_, and then I was going to ask you if you wanted to move."

"Move?"

"Yeah, to Port Angeles. It's better there you know, more shopping, more life, more people. I'm closer to work, you're closer to me and we're still really close to La Push. To be honest Nee, I don't want you.. I don't want you to stay here, it's too deserted. There are no opportunities here, and I know Port Angeles isn't really much different, but it's an improvement. I want you to do something with your life, it's not fair to keep you here."

"So you mean that we would've been living there now if what happened to you.. hadn't happened?"

He grinned. "No, not if you didn't agree to it."

"Jacob." I ran the back of my hand down his smooth cheek. "You know I would've said yes. The closer I am to you, the better."

And later that night, when the children were safely tucked into bed, Jacob lay awake with me under the stars. Whispering into my ear, describing all the dreams he'd had over the past year. They were so strange and yet strangely familiar to the many dreams I'd had. It was like we were dreaming the same dream, but from different points of view. Proving that even in our sleep, we were connected.

_"Mommy, I'm afraid," I whispered, gripping her hand tighter._

_I was six again. A child._

_"There's nothing to be afraid of," she told me, leading me towards a group of children my own age. All standing in a circle, whispering excitedly to each other, oblivious to me. _

_My gaze flew to the sea and the waves crashing the shore. "I want to swim."_

_Mommy chuckled. "Not yet, Nina, not yet. You need to make some friends first. Come on."_

_So I was pulled towards the children again and the closer I got, the more my heart-rate sped up. My lips started to quiver, eyes started to water and I was just about to cry when-_

_"Hi," a little boy said, appearing right in front of me. His sunny smile making all my fears disappear._

_"Hi," I replied, my voice so soft I doubted he heard me._

_Stepping forward, he took my hand in his and before I knew it, we were walking away._

_Away from the children, away from mommy and away from the beach._

_We eventually made it to a cottage with lots of beautiful flowers filling the front yard. There was so much color and so much life, that I instantly felt at ease. Like it was a home away from home._

_"Jacob! Where did you- oh!" a pretty lady descended down the porch steps and over to us, her smile as sunny as the boy's. "Hello there, what's your name?"_

_"Nina," I told her, giving her the best smile I could muster._

_"Aw," she cooed, patting my head. "Aren't you a pretty little girl, Nina? How about I make you both some cookies and hot chocolate?"_

_"Yes, mommy, please," Jacob said, his little hand still holding my tiny one._

_And so Jacob and I sat out by the flowers, enjoying the food his mommy happily made us. The cookies by far the best I'd ever tasted._

_"They're magic cookies, Nina," she told me, sitting down across from us. _

_"How?" I asked._

_"Well." She smiled. "They aren't magic to you and I, but they're magic to Jacob. To make sure that throughout his life, I'll always be with him. And that good things will happen… eventually."_

_I glanced over at Jacob, but he just smiled at me and continued to chew on his cookie. Oblivious to the conversation his mommy and I were having._

_"Will my mommy give me magic?"_

_Laughing, she patted Jacob's knee. "My little boy will give you magic. More magic than I will ever be able to give him."_

_Frowning, I set my cookie down. "Why?"_

_"Because he's special," she told me and it was only then that I realized there were tears streaking her cheeks. "And you're very special to him."_

_"I am?"_

_She nodded. "Yes, Jacob would be lost without you."_

_I stared down at my feet, slightly embarrassed._

_"It's so sad you don't live here yet, Nina. Jacob's life would be so much easier with you around. He'd never know of heartbreak and rejection. He'd only know of his special girl, a girl that loved him through and through and never ever let him down. You."_

_"Heartbreak?"_

_Moving closer to me, she took my face in her hands and looked into my eyes. "You'll understand what that means some day and when you do, you'll make my little boy better. Thank you, Nina. Thank you so much. I couldn't have asked for a more special girl to make my special boy happy."_

_And then I was being hugged by her as she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Why she was crying, I didn't know._

_All I knew was that I liked this woman, she was special._

_"Sarah. My name is Sarah."_

**Very long epilogue, right? I mean does that even count as an epilogue? I just got so carried away with the storyline that I kept on typing. **

**Hope you guys liked it though.**

**The very end is one of Nina's strange dreams (as you all probably know) and I thought it'd be a good way to introduce Sarah to her. Since she's Jacob's beloved mother and hasn't ever met Nina because she passed away. But I didn't want to leave such an important person to Jacob out of the story, so I decided to put her into a dream. Personally, I liked the idea and I hope you all did too.**

**And about Nina's dreams, there isn't really much meaning in most of them but they basically relate to the things in her life. Sometimes even things that haven't happened to her yet. I'm really into dreams and the meaning of them, so that's mainly the reason I put them into the story.**

**Anyway, thanks so much for reading this story. It means the world to me and I enjoyed writing each and every chapter. Jacob is my favorite character from the twilight saga and so I **_**always**_** enjoy writing about him.**

**Cheers everyone.**


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